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Grinn News Service (March 24, 2003)
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Jocko Grinn
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Mar 24, 2003 18:08 PST
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Brothers Grinn present our March 24, 2003,
edition of The Markle City WOW!
ACTOR KILLED DURING ACADEMY AWARDS CEREMONY
Show's host injured by CGI-driven character gone bad
By Jocko Grinn
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (Grinn News Service) -- Disaster struck the Academy
Awards last night when Chris Cooper, winner of the Best Supporting Actor
award, was strangled as he accepted the award.
"Sweet Mother of Pearl!" host Steve Martin cried as a small manlike
creature leapt up and tore the statuette from his hands, biting off one
of Martin's fingers in the process.
"It's ours, ours!" the creature cried before scurrying across the stage
and out the door. "Our Precious-ss!"
Security footage shows the creature is manlike with overlarge feet,
large blue eyes, and a single lock of hair that hangs from its head.
Security guards tried to stop the intruder as it left the building but
said they were unable to, due to its prodigious strength.
Guards added that the creature's eyes glow in the dark and that it made
a retching noise as it talked that sounded like "column."
"We think it's a disgruntled writer for 'Variety' magazine," said Los
Angeles Police detective Brick d'Fortunato.
Anthony Serkis, who made a name for himself as Gollum in last year's
"The Two Towers" was not available for comment.
In the meantime, officials continue their manhunt for the creature,
which they consider likely either to fall into a volcano or to be cast
in Ernest Borgnine's role in a remake of the 1970s horror film "The
Devil's Rain."
"Either way, it's a bad way to go," said D'Fortunato. "Personally, I'd
take the volcano."
Martin was listed as being in stable condition, although nurses at the
hospital report he keeps cradling his hand and moaning, "It's gone."
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II. LINKS
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http://forums.delphiforums.com/chrefugee/messages?msg=1410.1
Besides using the Academy Awards ceremony as an inappropriate avenue to
air his political views, Michael Moore also airs them elsewhere. Are his
viewpoints reasonable, or is he just a liberal version of Rush Limbaugh?
http://forums.delphiforums.com/chrefugee/messages?msg=1408.1
Did you watch the Oscars? Besides being a vacuous display of
self-absorption on the part of our celebrity elite, what did you think
of them?
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5. Gollum, gollum.
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