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Brothers Grinn Mailing (May 7, 2003)
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Smirkov Grinn
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May 07, 2003 15:21 PDT
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The Brothers Grinn present our May 7, 2003, mailing
YOU KNOW YOU’RE LUCKY TO GET OUT OF SURGERY ALIVE WHEN…
1. They put a tag on your big toe “to save time later.”
2. When the nurse writes an “R” on your right arm, you have to advise,
“Uh, no, the OTHER right.”
3. Due to funding cutbacks, anesthetic has been reduced to a tumbler of
ice and a bottle of bourbon.
4. The surgeon has avoided malpractice lawsuits by claiming he never
actually practiced any of the operations before opening his office.
5. The nurse asks you if you’d like to “Super Size” it.
6. [For brain surgeons] The surgeon introduces himself with, “I’m not
just a doctor, I’m also a patient!”
7. The surgeon waves through the glass and says, “Look, Ma, no hands!”
right as you go under.
8. The surgery instruments are identified in Braille.
9. To ease the tension, the surgeon starts telling funny stories about
when he used to work in the slaughterhouse.
10. The surgeon asks you how to tie a square knot.
11. Embalming is thrown in as a free service.
12. Body piercing is thrown in as a free service.
13. Taxidermy is thrown in as a free service.
14. The surgeon wears a T-shirt that says, “I left someone’s heart in
San Francisco.”
15. The surgeon flips a coin to decide whether he should go in from the
front or the back.
16. The nurses wear T-shirts with arrows, saying, “I’m with Stupid.”
17. The nurses begin all of their comments with, “But, Dr. Bob…!”
18. The surgeon reassures you with, “Well, since you’ve got two of them,
we have some room to play.”
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II. COPYRIGHT NOTICE
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"Chicken Soup for the Soulless" are parodies of those bits of
inspirational mail, chain letters, and numerous spams that people use to
prettify other people’s e-mailboxes.
("Chicken Soup for the Soul" is a trademark of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Enterprises. If you habitually get such things confused, maybe you need
to Super Size your next surgery.)
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TO CONTACT THE BROTHERS GRINN, write to Cousi-@BrothersGrinn. We
reserve the right to reprint letters in future mailings. (Why? Because
we like you.)
Brothers Grinn, BrothersGrinn.com, Cousin Otto, Grinn News Service,
Jocko Grinn, Markle City, The Markle City WOW, Smirkov Grinn, and other
distinctive characters and institutions created by the Brothers Grinn,
and their images and likenesses are the intellectual property and
trademarks of Ravensmyth Corp. Unauthorized use strictly prohibited,
used here by permission. Ken Collins is not an embedded journalist.
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Original humor at www.BrothersGrinn.com!
(c) Copyright 2000-2003 by Ravensmyth
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Note the following USE RULES:
1. Contents may forwarded with URL (www.BrothersGrinn.com) and copyright
notice intact.
2. Contents may be posted on another site with URL link and copyright
notice intact.
3. Contents may NOT be published in other mediums than those listed
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at permi-@BrothersGrinn.com.
4. Brothers Grinn licensing is available. Contact us at
Lice-@BrothersGrinn.com if interested.
5. “One-hour photos -- free appendix surgery while you wait!” might
sound like a great way to save money, but it’s a pretty rotten
development. (Get the picture?)
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