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Brothers Grinn mailing! (Nov. 1, 2005)  Smikov Grinn
 Nov 01, 2005 07:00 PST 

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The Brothers Grinn present
our Nov. 1, 2005, mailing!
Our special "Picking up the pieces (of candy)" mailing!


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SIGNS YOU GOT CARRIED AWAY ON HALLOWEEN
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1. When you go to use the bathroom, you realize you need to retrieve some toilet paper from where you left it - on your neighbor's tree.

2. When you go to take a shower, you realize you need to scrape some soap back off people's windshields.

3. Instead of using bars of soap, you used five-gallon buckets of Palmolive.

4. The first thing you see when you wake up is iron bars.

5. You're in the pound, and the zipper on that darn dog costume is still stuck.

6. You're scheduled to be put to sleep within the hour if no one adopts you, but you still don't like the looks of those two shifty-eyed kids with slingshots and choke-chains.


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7. You are mentioned by name in those "Top Ten Things That Are Evil About Halloween" speech usually rounding out everyone's October sermon series.

8. Your costume was so scary that the evil spirits in the haunted house next door packed their bags and moved somewhere more inviting (like maybe Congress).

9. Not only did you get more candy in your bag than your kids did, but you're still dipping into theirs, claiming they owe you a "finder's fee."

10. No one at work is sure whether your makeup just didn't come off in the shower or if you've contracted some incurable and highly contagious skin disease.

11. A little kid shows up in your living room, claiming he can see dead people and that it's "okay for you to go now."

12. You realize he's right.

13. Everyone on the street calls you "The Butcher of Brunswick" and runs away screaming.

14. You did such a good job on decorating the house that low-lifes are digging up your front yard, looking for cadavers to sell to medical schools.

15. Next fall, your neighborhood has a bumper crop of corn because of the thousands of kernels you threw at people's windows.

16. That nice girl with the charming East European accent did more than just give you a hickey, and today you're feeling a bit drained.

17. You sent your kids trick-or-treating so far away that they won't be back until Thanksgiving, since plane tickets out of Transylvania are so hard to find nowadays.

18. You wore a George Bush costume for Halloween.

19. Next week's local "Letters to the Editor" page is released as a special bound edition the size of the phone book because you wore a George Bush costume for Halloween.

20. When you wake up behind bars, someone shines a bright light in your face and says, "Welcome to "Guantanamo, scumbag!" because you wore a George Bush costume for Halloween.

21. You watched so many scary movies that now even "Scooby Doo on Zombie Island" is enough to make you hyperventilate.

22. You're inspired to dress like and emulate a character from a recent Halloween movie.

23. It's the were-rabbit from "Wallace and Gromit."


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LEGAL STUFF
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Brothers Grinn, BrothersGrinn.com, Cousin Otto, Grinn News Service, Jocko Grinn, Markle City, The Markle City WOW, Smirkov Grinn, and other distinctive characters and institutions created by the Brothers Grinn, and their images and likenesses are the intellectual property and trademarks of Ravensmyth Corp. Unauthorized use strictly prohibited, used here by permission. To the best of our knowledge, Ken Collins is not a brain-eating member of the legions of undead, but, actually, that would explain a lot.

Chicken Soup for the Soulless is a parody, and has no relationship to Chicken Soup for the Soul, which is copyright by Chicken Soup for the Soul Enterprises.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NONLEGAL STUFF
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contact the Brothers Grinn at Cousi-@brothersgrinn.com. We reserve the right to publish letters in a later mailing, especially if you hate us.

If you got this mailing as a treat (or trick) from friends but find the sugar rush pleasing, you can order it yourself from brothersgrin-@topica.com.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Original humor at www.BrothersGrinn.com!
(c) Copyright 2000-2005 by Ravensmyth Corp.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note the following USE RULES:
1. Contents may forwarded with URL (www.BrothersGrinn.com) and copyright notice intact.
2. Contents may be posted on another site with URL link and copyright notice intact.
3. Contents may NOT be published in other mediums than those listed here, without prior permission of Ravensmyth Corp. Permissions are available at permis-@BrothersGrinn.com.
4. If you value your life and sanity, please stop giving out Almond Joys for Halloween: Children have long memories and do not forgive easily.

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<DIV>The Brothers Grinn present<BR>our Nov. 1, 2005, mailing!</DIV>
<P><FONT size=2>Our special "Picking up the pieces (of candy)"
mailing!</FONT></P>
<HR align=left width=350>
<FONT size=2>SIGNS YOU GOT CARRIED AWAY ON HALLOWEEN</FONT>
<HR align=left width=350>
<BR>1. When you go to use the bathroom, you realize you need to retrieve some
toilet paper from where you left it  on your neighbor's
tree.<BR><BR>2. When you go to take a shower, you realize you need to scrape
some soap back off people's windshields.<BR><BR>3. Instead of using bars of
soap, you used five-gallon buckets of Palmolive.<BR><BR>4. The first thing you
see when you wake up is iron bars. <BR><BR>5. You're in the pound, and the
zipper on that darn dog costume is still stuck.<BR><BR>6. You're scheduled to be
put to sleep within the hour if no one adopts you, but you still don't like the
looks of those two shifty-eyed kids with slingshots and choke-chains.<BR><BR><!-- HTML to Copy Starts Here --><!--Note: For correct presentation of the form, leave HTML formatted *as is*. -->
<FORM action=http://lists.topica.com/partner/rsbn/remote/listowner/ method=post
target=New_Window><INPUT type=hidden value=Brot-@topica.com name=lists>
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<TR>
    <TD><FONT style="FONT-SIZE: 13px" face=verdana,sans-serif color=#3300cc
      size=+1><B>Subscribe your friends!</B></FONT></TD></TR>
<TR>
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<TR>
    <TD><FONT style="FONT-SIZE: 11px" face=verdana,sans-serif size=0>Get your
      friends a free gift subscription to the Brothers Grinn mailing list today!
      Just enter their e-mail addresses below.</FONT><BR><BR><FONT
      style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt" size=-1><INPUT value="your email"
      name=email></FONT><FONT style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"
      face="Geneva,Helvetica,Arial,Sans Serif" size=-1> <INPUT type=submit value=Join></FONT>
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      src="http://lists.topica.com/images/hostedby.gif" width=107 border=0>
    </P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></FORM><!-- HTML Ends Here -->7. You are mentioned
by name in those "Top Ten Things That Are Evil About Halloween" speech usually
rounding out everyone's October sermon series.<BR><BR>8. Your costume was so
scary that the evil spirits in the haunted house next door packed their bags and
moved somewhere more inviting (like maybe Congress).<BR><BR>9. Not only did you
get more candy in your bag than your kids did, but you're still dipping into
theirs, claiming they owe you a "finder's fee." <BR><BR>10. No one at work is
sure whether your makeup just didn't come off in the shower or if you've
contracted some incurable and highly contagious skin disease. <BR><BR>11. A
little kid shows up in your living room, claiming he can see dead people and
that it's "okay for you to go now." <BR><BR>12. You realize he's
right.<BR><BR>13. Everyone on the street calls you "The Butcher of Brunswick"
and runs away screaming.<BR><BR>14. You did such a good job on decorating the
house that low-lifes are digging up your front yard, looking for cadavers to
sell to medical schools.<BR><BR>15. Next fall, your neighborhood has a bumper
crop of corn because of the thousands of kernels you threw at people's
windows.<BR><BR>16. That nice girl with the charming East European accent did
more than just give you a hickey, and today you're feeling a bit
drained.<BR><BR>17. You sent your kids trick-or-treating so far away that they
won't be back until Thanksgiving, since plane tickets out of Transylvania are so
hard to find nowadays.<BR><BR>18. You wore a George Bush costume for
Halloween.<BR><BR>19. Next week's local "Letters to the Editor" page is released
as a special bound edition the size of the phone book because you wore a George
Bush costume for Halloween.<BR><BR>20. When you wake up behind bars, someone
shines a bright light in your face and says, "Welcome to "Guantanamo, scumbag!"
because you wore a George Bush costume for Halloween.<BR><BR>21. You watched so
many scary movies that now even "Scooby Doo on Zombie Island" is enough to make
you hyperventilate.<BR><BR>22. You're inspired to dress like and emulate a
character from a recent Halloween movie.<BR><BR>23. It's the were-rabbit from
"Wallace and Gromit."<BR><BR>
<HR align=left width=250>
LEGAL STUFF
<HR align=left width=250>
Brothers Grinn, BrothersGrinn.com, Cousin Otto, Grinn News Service, Jocko Grinn,
Markle City, The Markle City WOW, Smirkov Grinn, and other distinctive
characters and institutions created by the Brothers Grinn, and their images and
likenesses are the intellectual property and trademarks of Ravensmyth Corp.
Unauthorized use strictly prohibited, used here by permission. To the best of
our knowledge, Ken Collins is not a brain-eating member of the legions of
undead, but, actually, that <I>would</I> explain a lot.<BR><BR>Chicken Soup for
the Soulless is a parody, and has no relationship to Chicken Soup for the Soul,
which is copyright by Chicken Soup for the Soul Enterprises.<BR><BR>
<HR align=left width=250>
NONLEGAL STUFF
<HR align=left width=250>

<P>Contact the Brothers Grinn at <A
href="mailto:Cousi-@brothersgrinn.com">Cousi-@brothersgrinn.com</A>. We
reserve the right to publish letters in a later mailing, especially if you hate
us.</P>
<P>If you got this mailing as a treat (or trick) from friends but find the sugar
rush pleasing, you can order it yourself from <A
href="mailto:brothersgrin-@topica.com">brothersgrin-@topica.com</A>.
<BR><BR>
<HR align=left width=250>
Original humor at www.BrothersGrinn.com!<BR>(c) Copyright 2000-2005 by
Ravensmyth Corp.<BR>
<HR align=left width=250>
<BR>Note the following USE RULES:<BR>1. Contents may forwarded with URL
(www.BrothersGrinn.com) and copyright notice intact.<BR>2. Contents may be
posted on another site with URL link and copyright notice intact.<BR>3. Contents
may NOT be published in other mediums than those listed here, without prior
permission of Ravensmyth Corp. Permissions are available at
permis-@BrothersGrinn.com.<BR>4. If you value your life and sanity, please
stop giving out Almond Joys for Halloween: Children have long memories and do
not forgive easily.<BR></BODY></HTML>

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