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Brothers Grinn mailing! (Nov. 24, 2005)  Smirkov Grinn
 Nov 24, 2005 16:07 PST 

The Brothers Grinn presentour Nov. 24, 2005,
Our special "Happy Thanksgiving" mailing!


Jocko: To quote H.L. Mencken, "In this world of sin and sorrow, there
is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am
not a Republican."Smirkov: Well, I rejoice that I am not a
Democrat (or at least won't be after I change my registration back to
Republican, now that I'm mostly over that little snit-fit I had during
the 2004 presidential election).Jocko: Well, I'm glad you had
at least a few months of sanity.Smirkov: And I'm glad you're
too muddle-headed to realize the overall absurdity of your logic.
Jocko: Um, yeah. Anyway, on a lighter note, I'm glad for home
garden mulchers.<!--Note: For
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Here -->Smirkov: And professional tree chippers, so I don't have to
swing the axe myself and get blisters on my delicate but muscular
hands. Jocko: How can hands be delicate and muscular at the
same time?Smirkov: Why do you care?Jocko: I'm glad I
don't care.Smikov: And I'm glad that you're glad you don't
care.Jocko: And I'm glad that talking to you always leaves me
feeling intellectually superior again, after months of playing Mr. Mom
and feeling like I was slowly losing my sanity.Smirkov: And I'm
glad we're changing the topic, if only as to not confuse
you.Jocko: Okay, fine. I'm glad for 30-pound turkeys deep-fried
in peanut oil.Smirkov: And for mankind's obsession with all
things pyrotechnic that drove the creation of such
technology.Jocko: What do explosions have to do with cooking
turkeys?Smirkov: Obviously you've never spent time with people
who like to deep-fry their frozen turkeys without allowing them to thaw
first.Jocko: I'm glad I don't have to undergo burn treatment,
after spending time with such nuts. But I'm also glad for low-fat ranch
dressing in an upside-down bottle.Smirkov: And for fast-food
chicken nuggets that don't go bad even after you've lost them behind
the books on your shelf for a year.Jocko: And for regression
therapy...Smirkov: ... and for all the humorous anecdotes it
spawns.Jocko: And for used bookstores.Smikov: And
Buy-It-Now online auctions.Jocko: And no-calorie, no-taste,
no-point beer.Smirkov: And I'm glad that Clay got fired on the
Apprentice last week.Jacko: I'm glad I don't even know who Clay
is.Smirkov: I wish I didn't.Jocko: I'm glad Jerry
Falwell gets only a little press after all these years, and not as much
as he used to.Smirkov: And I'm glad Britney Spears had a baby,
if only to keep her off the streets.Jocko: Um, I'm glad Hitler
didn't win World War II.Smirkov: And I'm glad Mom always liked
me better.Jocko: Why, you little --!Smirkov: Ack! Grlbb
... help!


Due to an proofreading malfunction, an issue of <A
color=#4b0082>"Chicken Soup for the Soulless" earlier this
week went out to inboxes everywhere labeled as a serving of Chicken
Soup for the Soul. We apologize for any dilution of the brand or
confusion in the marketplace this may have caused, and promise to make
fun of inspirational e-mail under the correct name in the future,
barring further malfunctions.


Soup for the Soulless (a parody)Samples of our classic
wit, wisdom and vinegar, taken from our signature inspirational
color=#4b0082>A Guide to ThanksgivingThis is it! The
complete, authoritative guide to the origins of Thanksgiving, its
history and how its traditions have developed over the years. Published
Thanksgiving 2000.<A
color=#4b0082>How to celebrate an Irish ThanksgivingA
guide to the all-American harvest festival, as celebrated in Ireland.
Published Thanksgiving 2001. (Sponsored by Scotland.)


Brothers Grinn, BrothersGrinn.com, Cousin Otto, Grinn News Service,
Jocko Grinn, Markle City, The Markle City WOW, Smirkov Grinn, and other
distinctive characters and institutions created by the Brothers Grinn,
and their images and likenesses are the intellectual property and
trademarks of Ravensmyth Corp. Unauthorized use strictly prohibited,
used here by permission. We're thankful Ken Collins actually reads this
far each issue.Chicken Soup for the Soulless is a parody, and
has no relationship to Chicken Soup for the Soul, which is copyright by
Chicken Soup for the Soul Enterprises.


Sound off! Send a list of everything you're grateful for to <A
color=#4b0082>Cousi-@brothersgrinn.com. We reserve the
right to publish letters in a later mailing.
If you're getting this mailing, you're subscribed to the Brothers
Grinn or someone is really thankful to have you for a friend. To get
your own drumstick instead of being stuck with the leftovers, send an
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thankful you read this far. Now pass the mashed potatoes, will
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