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Grinn News Service reporton Egypt  Brothers Grinn
 Feb 11, 2011 10:34 PST 

The Brothers Grinn present
our February 11, 2011, mailing!

Our "Special report on Egypt" issue

MUBARAK HOLDS ONTO POWER DESPITE CRAIGSLIST SCANDAL

CAIRO, Egypt (Grinn News Service) -- President Hosni Mubarak refused to
relinquish power Thursday, even as news spread that the 81-year-old
dictator had engaged in flirtatious online behavior with a woman he met
through a singles ad on Craigslist.

Mubarak, who has held power in this Middle Eastern nation since the
assassination of Anwar Sadat in 1981, has been fighting to retain power
for the past two weeks after popular resentment over the chronic
shortage of yellow Zingers in snack machines has led to a national
uprising.

The entire exchange, including a picture Mubarak took of himself,
shirtless and sporting a large tattoo of Smurfette on his left bicep,
was made public by the Arabic web site al Gawker, along with supposed
footage of Mubarak crushing Jolt cans on his forehead and belching
loudly into his armpit.

The woman at the center of the controversy said her correspondence with
Mubarak began two months ago when she posted a singles ad on Craigslist,
asking "Are all single men jackals born under an evil star, destined
only to oppress their countrymen?" Mubarak reportedly responded to the
ad, claiming to be a 42-year-old divorcee who enjoys piņa coladas and
getting caught in the rain, as well as enjoying less celebrated
pleasures like listening to Barry Manilow and dogsitting for his friends
when they vacation in glorious modernized Dubai.

"Are you a dictator?" the woman asked in one e-mail.

"No, assuredly not," Mubarak responded. "I am a lobbyist. Or maybe a
U.S. congressman."

The woman, whom al Gawker did not identify by name, said she initially
believed his claims.

"No man would ever have shamed himself enough to claim to be either of
those two things unless it were true," she said. "Or if he were
something worse." She reportedly burst into gales of laughter. "But
unless he were a newly elected U.S. senator from Kentucky, I can't think
of anything that COULD be worse."

The woman broke off correspondence with Mubarak once had sent her a
picture of himself without his shirt on.

Several weeks later, after her resulting night terrors had sufficiently
diminished, the woman searched for Mubarak on Facebook and became
suspicious that he had lied to her about his job, which on Facebook was
listed as "Ruthless Egyptian dictator."

"I had to go public with this," she said. "If he is willing to lie to
me, who knows how many millions of other people he may have lied to?"

Still, the woman remains open-minded about a possible future romantic
relationship with Mubarak.

"I might give him a second chance," she told al Gawker. "But only if he
can promise that there will be more yellow Zingers in the snack
machine."



------------------------------------------------------------
LETTERS
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Dear Jocko:

Good grief - haven't seen you guys around in forever. I thought someone
snuck up and shot ya'll or something.

Yours truly,

A. Wheat



Dear A.,

Well, you know how Smirkov is. I told him it was just the car
backfiring, but ever since that incident at the White Castle in Menlo
Park, he goes into hiding at the drop of a hat. Which reminds me, I
really need to start looking for the galoot again.

-- Jocko


------------------------------------------------------------
LEGAL STUFF
------------------------------------------------------------


Brothers Grinn, BrothersGrinn.com, Cousin Otto, Grinn News Service,
Jocko Grinn, Markle City, The Markle City WOW, Smirkov Grinn, and other
distinctive characters and institutions created by the Brothers Grinn,
and their images and likenesses are the intellectual property and
trademarks of Ravensmyth Corp. Unauthorized use strictly prohibited,
used here by permission. We hope Ken Collins has enough yellow Zingers
in his snack machine. Grinn News Service is a satirical news service.
And if you were too stupid to understand that without us telling you,
allow us to state unequivocally that it's all true.


Send all correspondence and pictures of yourself to
jocko-@gmail.com. But do keep your shirt on, especially if you have
a Smurfette tattoo. We reserve the right to publish letters in a later
mailing.

If you're getting this mailing, either you are still subscribed to the
Brothers Grinn after a hiatus that lasted for more than four years, in
which case you really need to change your e-mail address more regularly;
or someone thought you need more yellow Zingers in your snack machine.
Demand reform by sending a message to brothersgri-@topica.com,
and get Brothers Grinn shipped to your e-mail.


Original humor at www.BrothersGrinn.com
Copyright (c) 2000-2011 by Ravensmyth Corp.


Note the following USE RULES:

1. Contents may forwarded with URL (www.BrothersGrinn.com) and copyright
notice
intact.
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notice intact.
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are available from jocko-@gmail.com.
4. We really do like the Egyptian people and wish them well in their
progress toward democracy, economic reform, and greater availability of
yellow Zingers.
	
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