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Brothers Grinn Valentine's Day mailing  Brothers Grinn
 Feb 13, 2011 22:16 PST 

The Brothers Grinn present
our Feb. 14, 2011, mailing!

Our special “Love is a glass splinter” mailing!

"For Valentine's Day, consider taking your partner to see a nice play.
Just make sure it's a romantic one, like 'The Duchess of Malfi,' and not
one of those depressing things, like 'Romeo and Juliet.'"
- The George Webster Guide to Dating and Romance


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I. CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOULLESS (A PARODY)
------------------------------------------------------------


"Ode to My One True Love"

Kitty does not send perfume
To linger in the air
Instead he sprays the living room
and sheds a lot of hair.

He doesn’t bring me candy hearts
In boxes of delight
Instead he catches mice and birds
to leave out overnight.

He doesn’t send out pretty cards
Trimmed in shades of red
Instead while I am fast asleep,
he sits up on my head.

He doesn’t hand out fancy gifts
Like we would send to mother
Instead he scatters kitty litter
one place to another.

He doesn’t give me teddy bears
That whimper, “please be mine”
Instead he snags the goldfish
upon which he can dine.

He doesn’t give me roses, pink
For all the world to see
Without him, I'd have no one, so
he's good enough for me!

Moral: Cat lady, cat lady... get yourself an actual guy this year?
Please? For your sake?

Link o'shame
We'd love to share the original and inspiring poem behind today's
mailing, but we're not worthy. If you were to read it, you would never
want to use your eyes to read anything else. Besides, it's probably
copyrighted. Of course, you could read it at http://tinyurl.com/4dxcpp9

Make sure you linger long enough to enjoy the special music!


------------------------------------------------------------
II. LETTERS
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jocko:

So glad you are back!!! where the heck have you been???

Yours truly,
Zillerstein


Dear Zillerstein:

Would you believe Smirkov suggested going out to eat at an
all-you-can-eat, 24-hour buffet that had just opened downtown? They have
a policy that if you leave, you have to pay all over again to get back
in, and since they had soap dispensers in the bathroom, we figured we
might as well stay.

I finally left about a month ago, when I realized I'd left the iron
plugged in back home, and now that no-good brother of mine won't pay for
me to get back in. I may never see him again, but after enduring his
table manners in such close proximity for the last few years, I think
I'm OK with that.

-- Jocko


------------------------------------------------------------
III. LEGAL STUFF
------------------------------------------------------------

Brothers Grinn, BrothersGrinn.com, Cousin Otto, Grinn News Service,
Jocko Grinn, Markle City, The Markle City WOW, Smirkov Grinn, and other
distinctive characters and institutions created by the Brothers Grinn,
and their images and likenesses are the intellectual property and
trademarks of Ravensmyth Corp. Unauthorized use strictly prohibited,
used here by permission. We hope Ken Collins remembers to send us a box
of chocolates soon. Chicken Soup for the Soulless is a parody, and has
no relationship to Chicken Soup for the Soul, which is copyright by
Chicken Soup for the Soul Enterprises.

Send all correspondence and dead sparrows to jocko-@gmail.com. We
reserve the right to publish letters in a later mailing.

If you're getting this mailing, either you are still subscribed to the
Brothers Grinn after a hiatus that lasted for more than four years, in
which case you really need to change your e-mail address more regularly;
or Princess Snookums has just dropped her latest kill at your feet. Fall
in love all over again, and send a message to brother-@topica.com,
to get Brothers Grinn shipped to your e-mail.


Original humor at www.BrothersGrinn.com
Copyright (c) 2000-2011 by Ravensmyth Corp.


Note the following USE RULES:

1. Contents may forwarded with URL (www.BrothersGrinn.com) and copyright
notice intact.
2. Contents may be posted on another site with URL link and copyright
notice intact.
3. Contents may NOT be published in other mediums than those listed
here, without prior written permission of Ravensmyth Corp. Permissions
are available from jocko-@gmail.com.
4. Cousin Otto would prefer you let him have the mice, and not your cat.
	
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