|
The Psychology of Managing Relationships at Work
|
Andrew Walton
|
Apr 18, 2004 10:53 PDT
|
The Psychology of Managing Relationships at Work by Principal
Psychologist Andrew Walton www.andrewwalton.co.uk www.psychologist.tv
Long gone are the days, but rued by many older employees, when there
were clear demarcations of status in the workplace. Directors and
managers were referred to as, “Sir” or ‘Mr. Jones”, while junior members
of staff were, “Miss Smith” or plain “Buggins”. Workmates or staff
colleagues would call each other, “Ernie” or “Fred”. Yet nowadays,
everyone is called by their first name, from the janitor to the M.D.
This might be very politically correct and egalitarian, but it makes for
an awful lot of confusion when firm instructions or disciplinary
procedures need giving out. The problem is one of over-familiarity. To
start with, one doesn’t choose one’s work colleagues as one does one’s
friends. The work environment is essentially ‘task’ focused and revolves
around a joint effort to make and sell goods and services in the
economy. Our social lives centre on our need for fun and pleasure, where
the people we like are the ones we’re drawn to.
The old saying,” You shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.” is probably
just as true, now – if not truer than when the words were first uttered
a century and a half ago. In an age where men and women work alongside
each other in ever increasing numbers, clarity in communication is
essential, so as to avoid mis-understandings. The number of cases
appearing before Employment Tribunals alleging sexual harassment is
burgeoning, and shows no sign of slowing down and yet, most perplexing
of all 65% of married couples meet their future partner at work.
Clearly, individuals get to know their colleagues very well when they
are working together, but is this the best or even the right place to
start a romance?
Some institutions are crystal clear about this and specifically
proscribe colleagues from engaging in intimate relationships. Where this
is openly declared and unavoidable they are re-assigned to separate
departments or locations. The very viability of companies can be at risk
if it is known by staff that senior partners or colleagues are having a
‘relationship’. Suggestions of favouritism or bias can rapidly undermine
work morale and sap competitiveness. Back-biting and rumour-mongering
becomes rife and jealous suspicion can create havoc in one’s home life.
The simplest solution is to restore demarcations or as we tend to say
now, establish clear boundaries. While it may be irreversible now to
stop calling each other by our first names-which previously was
considered a privilege of respect- there are other ways of reducing
incidents of over-familiarity or unwanted attention. The trend to have
two mobile phones (one work, one private) and to assert the delineation
of the relationship by only giving out the appropriate number,
especially by the female sends an unequivocal message to any would-be
admirer. Do not answer late phone calls. Being sensible in one’s working
attire is also an obvious area to be aware. Perhaps company security
passes could be colour-coded to reflect seniority or status. In communal
dining, do not sit with the same colleague everyday or go out to the
bistro on unnecessary ‘lunches’ or share regular car journeys. ‘Office
parties’ once in a while for Christmas or landing big contracts are fine
so long as when the booze flows everyone keeps hold of their senses even
if emotions run riot. And out-of-town conferences are not just a by-word
for hotel bed-hopping, so do not invite delegates back to your room for
an after-hours shindig.
Keeping some or all of these boundaries clearly defined should save
unnecessary embarrassment in the cold light of the working day.
|
|
 |
|
