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the Master
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Sunkmanitu tanka Isnala Najin
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Jul 31, 2003 13:10 PDT
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http://sask.cbc.ca/regional/servlet/View?filename=sk_bigeagle20030731
It is I... the master of lost & dying causes! But, that's better than
being the master-bater... right?? Of course, if I stay without a woman
for much longer...
Anyhow... at the top & bottom of this posting I've pasted the url for a
CBC Radio piece on my family's current situation. I don't know how it
sounds though, because for some strange reason, I cannot open it up.
Also, the Regina Leader Post Online has my letter to the editor (with
some minor editing) in there.
I haven't been able to make contact with my wife since last week;
according to the two emails I got from her, nothing has changed though.
And, it doesn't seem that either APTN or CKUT bothered reporting on her
situation. Chalk another one up for the colonizer!
My little girl & I headed-out from Stronghold Table early this morning,
hoping to beat the heat. Days around this time of year generally exceed
100, & it's a 5-mile jaunt just to get to the road. We passed coyote
tracks, deer tracks, snake tracks, 1 coyote, a pronghorn, & 1 dead
rattlesnake on our way down the 2-track. Then, we walked about another 3
miles once we finally got to Cuny Table Road. After that, a little more
walking, & two rides, finally got us into Manderson. We had to phone
Rural Water & tell them we were out of water. And, I needed to try to
find out what's going on with my family. My daughter is pretty tough for
a petite, little bitty 6-year old! This is bullshit though.
Fuck the politics... I have to find a way to take care of my family now!
I thought that my struggling would earn a certain amount of compassion
for my wife & kids. That hasn't happened though. At least, not to any
measurable degree. Nothing that's putting food in my children's mouths,
or paying the bills, or helping Lisa deal with her suffering.
Furthermore, all the years I helped people out, before my current
political thing, that apparently didn't amount to much either. I sobered
many people up. Introduced scads of Indians to their culture in & around
the Regina, Carry The Kettle, & Peepeekisis areas. There were whole
families that I helped out, such as the Riders from CTK. And, actually,
a good deal of families from both Carry The Kettle & Peepeekisis. Lisa
always said that if I ever needed it, they would not return the favor.
She was right. They were starving for their own spirituality/culture, I
gave them the start they needed; now my family is starving, literally,
but those I helped can't be bothered. Not that I did things for them
expecting anything in return - but now that I see how it really is... it
sure as hell pisses me the fuck off! I sacrifised many things (even
fasted in the snow to get names for several people at CTK), put undue
strain on a new relationship just over a decade back too, just to help
these people out. Now they're all doing good. Some, unfortunately, have
even taken to prostituting (exploiting) the Ways I introduced them too.
But, have they done anything for my family?? Well, what goes around
comes around.
Hey... but, that's just life, enit?!?
All the same, it's really tearing me up out here, knowing that my
children remaining in the north are suffering the way they are. Of
course, it comes as no surprise; the colony discovered well over a year
ago that my kids were my weak point.
http://sask.cbc.ca/regional/servlet/View?filename=sk_bigeagle20030731
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