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HQ=Happiness-LL&L Monthly Aug 2006
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Benjamin Devey
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Aug 10, 2006 16:01 PDT
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Learning Love and Life
Monthly Relationships Newsletter
No. 151, July 2006
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Learning Love and Life is a free e-mail newsletter sent monthly to
subscribers. If a copy was forwarded to you and you would like to
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IN THIS ISSUE:
The Pursuit of Happiness:
Discovering the Pathway to Fulfillment,
Well-Being, and Enduring Personal Joy
HQ: What’s Your Happiness Quotient?
Happiness Helps
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THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS:
Discovering the Pathway to Fulfillment,
Well-Being, and Enduring Personal Joy
by David G. Myers
From a nationally prominent psychology professor and the author of the
best-selling textbook "Psychology" comes "an entertaining scientific
study of well-being" (Peter Gorner, Chicago Tribune). Using numerous
anecdotes, Myers reveals the common factors happy people share.
http://snipurl.com/HappyPersuit
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HQ: What’s Your Happiness Quotient?
by Benjamin Devey
How are you doing? How do you feel? You probably hear those questions
every day. Perhaps we pass them off as polite inquiries, without giving
much thought to the underlying principle. How are we doing?
When I went through a divorce and unemployment at the same time, some
friends commented that despite my circumstances I seemed to always be
happy. It helped that I felt the assurance of the Spirit that things
would eventually work out. Was I putting on an act? Or was there
something I could truly be happy about?
Not long after this, I started a job that turned out to work out
wonderfully. Another friend pointed out the scripture that we should
thank the Lord in all things. I wondered if that meant we ought to thank
Him for EVERYTHING, good or bad that happens to us? Should we thank Him
only when things go our way? Or should we always be grateful for the
blessings He gives, whether or not the challenges seem too big for us?
I returned often to the idea of gratitude. Everything may turn out to be
a blessing, even when things seem least encouraging. There’s always a
reason to be grateful, even if it’s just to see another day, or to hope
for a brighter one.
A lot of people think, "I’ll be happy when…" Perhaps it will be after I
graduate from college, get a job or a better one, get married, get
divorced or get the kids off to college -- whatever. The problem with
this kind of thinking is that none of these events, or any other
external factor, will guarantee happiness. Joy isn’t contingent anything
that happens TO us. It’s an internal attitude that we bring to life.
Happiness doesn’t just come -- it’s something we’ve got to go out and
get for ourselves. It isn’t a quantity of anything. Rather, it’s a
quality of acceptance and well being that transcends circumstances.
Although we can love and be happy at the same time, our joy isn’t
dependent on being loved. In fact, we might feel fortunate when we have
joy, but true happiness is independent of the whims of fortune. Well
being is a state of wholeness that lets us experience cheer through
positive self image. It gives us resourcefulness to deal with life’s
challenges as they come.
What’s Your Happiness Quotient?
Our well being is an intangible part of our makeup that can be exercised
and developed like a muscle. Just a few basic principles make it easy to
do.
1) Be open to experience.
The most certain determiner in the ability to have joy is our ability to
receive it. It might seem daunting to take on life with all its twists
and slips. But like the matador, our courage and skills grow through
courageous confrontation. Show a little attitude toward the measly super
challenges that get in your way. Bring it on.
2) We get what we give.
It really is true that we get out of life what we put into it. If we
feed positive into the lives of those around us, life has a way of
rewarding in like-manner. Plus or minus, there is a direct correlation
between our attitude and the color of our world. Go for the gusto.
2) Look for positives.
A child banks time and concludes he hasn’t played enough, always feeling
cheated of enjoyment, when in fact he has played several hours each day.
Adults come to realize that every day can have its ups and downs. We
choose whether to
4) Others
Service really helps get out of patterns of self-absorption and pity.
The immediate reward for helping someone out is the satisfaction of
doing something worthwhile. The side-benefits are the valuable
contribution to your self-image, the positive energy that flows into
your life and others’ and an incremental improvement to your world and
surroundings.
5) Balance is important.
The person who finds joy from day to day is neither focused on the grim
aspects of life, nor oblivious of them. Rather, he finds the aspects
that are enjoyable, while keeping the unpleasant aspects in proper
perspective.
You can have all the joy you can stand. That’s what I hope for each of
you. Smile and enjoy a moment of happiness (even if that moment lasts
the rest of your life). It’s free for the taking, and you deserve it.
Let us know what works for you.
Bless those you love,
Benjamin
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HAPPINESS HELPS
FINDING HAPPINESS
Happiness has a lot to do with our expectations, meaning in our life and
taking care of the obstacles we’ve created for ourselves. See how
internal congruity affects our emotional health at:
http://LearningLove/happiness.html
FULFILLMENT
Although relationships hold potential for fulfilling life, the mix-up
occurs when we put the burden on someone else to make us happy. See how
fulfillment is experienced from the inside out.
http://LearningLove/happiness.html
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LEARNED OPTIMISM
by Martin E. P. Seligman
Martin Seligman has been studying optimists and pessimists for decades.
Pessimists believe that bad events are their fault, will last a long
time, and undermine everything. They feel helpless and may sink into
depression, which is epidemic today, especially among youths. Optimists,
on the other hand, believe that defeat is a temporary setback or a
challenge -- it doesn't knock them down. "Pessimism is escapable,"
asserts Seligman, by learning a new set of cognitive skills that will
enable you to take charge, resist depression, and make yourself feel
better and accomplish more. He teaches how to choose optimism--thereby
gaining an essential new freedom to build a life of real rewards and
lasting fulfillment.
http://snipurl.com/LearnOp
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READERS' FORUM
You’ve got the answers. How do you find and maintain happiness. It’s
easy right? What is it people just don’t seem to get.
Or do I have it all wrong? Is happiness the elusive grail no one will
ever get their hands on? Is it something we’ll never achieve in this
life?
Share your ideas with the Love Discussion group.
Post your responses (to the whole group) at:
http://www.topica.com/lists/LoveTopics
Your comments and thoughts are welcome. If you would like to be included
in the newsletter, please mention in your e-mail: "You can print my
submission in the Reader's Forum section." Also, please say whether or
not you want your first name mentioned and the state or country you're
writing from.
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Copyright (c) 2006 by Benjamin Devey. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for use on web sites, in news groups or mailing lists as long as
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