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Happiness-LL&L Monthly, Dec-06
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Benjamin Devey
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Dec 07, 2006 12:30 PST
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Learning Love and Life
Monthly Relationships Newsletter
No. 153, November 2006
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Learning Love and Life is a free e-mail newsletter sent monthly to
subscribers. If a copy was forwarded to you and you would like to
receive your own free subscription, you can subscribe online at:
http://LearningLove.com
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THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS:
Discovering the Pathway to Fulfillment,
Well-Being, and Enduring Personal Joy
by David G. Myers
From a nationally prominent psychology professor and the author of the
best-selling textbook "Psychology" comes "an entertaining scientific
study of well-being" (Peter Gorner, Chicago Tribune). Using numerous
anecdotes, Myers reveals the common factors happy people share.
http://snipurl.com/HappyPersuit
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Healthier, Happier
© 2006 by Benjamin Devey
Last July we discussed ways to boost your Happiness Quotient. Some of
the suggestions included: being open to experience, feeding positive
into the lives of those around us, and looking for the positives in our
own, serving others and finding balance.
Researchers have long considered happiness an elusive pursuit,
abandoning hope of finding answers to the worthy question, “How can I be
happier?”
Many experts backed a theory of a happiness thermostat. It says that we
have preset levels of contentment that don’t vary much over a lifetime.
Certain events like marriage, divorce, unemployment, or good fortune may
temporarily raise or lower the short-term happiness, but eventually, we
return to a set point we’re comfortable with. These experts claimed
there wasn’t much we could do to change how happy we are in the long
run.
But recent studies by Lyubomirsky, Seligman, and other researchers
contradict these ideas of limitations. There are simple ways you can
boost your overall happiness in life. At first glance the exercises are
so easy to implement, you might readily dismiss them as pop trends. But
that would be a mistake. These ideas have real power to increase your
overall happiness.
Every night before you retire for sleep, think of three good things that
happened during your day and analyze why they occurred.
The think-of-three-good-things exercise is being tested by Seligman's
group at the University of Pennsylvania. This exercise has worked for
several people involved in the happiness research study. It isn’t a
short-term result, either. People report better sleep, less depressive
symptoms, and increased happiness -- all with long-term effects. People
who kept doing the exercises frequently experienced impressive results
over the course of the 6-month study.
Other approaches include savoring the pleasing things in your live like
a warm shower or a good breakfast, or write down what you want to be
remembered for, to help bring your daily activities in line with what's
really important to you. Regularly practice random acts of kindness,
like holding a door open for a stranger or doing a roommate's dishes,
for 10 weeks. Your self-image improves along with your positive
interactions with others.
People who performed a variety of acts, rather than repeating the same
ones, showed an increase in happiness even a month after the experiment
was concluded. Those who kept on doing the acts on their own did better
than those who didn't.
Try thinking about the happiest day in your life over and over again,
without analyzing it, or write about how you'll be 10 years from now,
assuming everything goes just right.
One important aspect of happiness that doesn’t get much mention is
repentance. By forsaking wrongful acts and making amends to individuals,
you free up a lot of emotion tied into negative events. When you find
God’s healing forgiveness, it creates a fresh outlook for new resolve.
You can’t live entrenched in a lifestyle of sin and expect to find
happiness. Clean the slate with God, and find a new lease on a joyful
life.
Each approach emphasizes a focus on the active role you take in casting
your outlook on each day. By accentuating pleasant times, you create an
active frame of reference for today’s experiences.
Bless those you love,
Benjamin
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On the Net:
HAPPINESS HELPS
FINDING HAPPINESS
Happiness has a lot to do with our expectations, meaning in our life and
taking care of the obstacles we’ve created for ourselves. See how
internal congruity affects our emotional health at:
http://LearningLove/happiness.html
FULFILLMENT
Although relationships hold potential for fulfilling life, the mix-up
occurs when we put the burden on someone else to make us happy. See how
fulfillment is experienced from the inside out.
http://LearningLove/happiness.html
Seligman Web site: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/
Lyubomirsky Web site: http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/sonja/
Diener Web site: http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/ediener/
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LEARNED OPTIMISM
by Martin E. P. Seligman
Martin Seligman has been studying optimists and pessimists for decades.
Pessimists believe that bad events are their fault, will last a long
time, and undermine everything. They feel helpless and may sink into
depression, which is epidemic today, especially among youths. Optimists,
on the other hand, believe that defeat is a temporary setback or a
challenge -- it doesn't knock them down. "Pessimism is escapable,"
asserts Seligman, by learning a new set of cognitive skills that will
enable you to take charge, resist depression, and make yourself feel
better and accomplish more. He teaches how to choose optimism--thereby
gaining an essential new freedom to build a life of real rewards and
lasting fulfillment.
http://snipurl.com/LearnOp
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READERS' FORUM
You’ve got the answers. How do you find and maintain happiness. It’s
easy right? What is it people just don’t seem to get.
Or do I have it all wrong? Is happiness the elusive grail no one will
ever get their hands on? Is it something we’ll never achieve in this
life?
Share your ideas with the Discussion group.
Post your responses to the group at:
http://www.topica.com/lists/LoveTopics
Your comments and thoughts are welcome. If you would like to be included
in the newsletter, please mention in your e-mail: "You can print my
submission in the Reader's Forum section." Also, please say whether or
not you want your first name mentioned and the state or country you're
writing from.
You can post online or send your comments or submissions to:
mailto:lear-@4u.net
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commitment to share principles and to focus on issues that nurture love.
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Copyright (c) 2006 by Benjamin Devey. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for use on web sites, in news groups or mailing lists as long as
this file is left intact.
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