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COURTESY COACH: SUPPORTING PARENTS IN THE 'VILLAGE'
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The Tea Party Company
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Jun 09, 2005 18:34 PDT
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IN THIS ISSUE:
SUPPORTING PARENTING IN THE ‘VILLAGE’
UPCOMING EVENTS OF COURTESY COACHING
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“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch
to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to
see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the
sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself” –Joyce Maynard
“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are
always watching you.” –Robert Fulghum
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SUPPORTING PARENTING IN THE ‘VILLAGE’
In my work here in the local community of Metro Detroit, I frequently
have the opportunity to teach a wide variety of topics in vastly
different settings. Last year for example, there were many days when I
left my 5th grade classroom in the middle of the inner city at the end
of the school day and went directly to teach an after-school manners
course at one of the most exclusive private schools in the country where
the yearly tuition was more than my annual salary.
Just a couple of months ago, a day was scheduled in such a manner that I
left a life skills course that I was teaching to a group of at-risk
youth, many of whom are teenage mothers, so that I might travel across
town and have afternoon tea at a four-star hotel with a group of young
ladies who had just completed an etiquette course as a part of their
preparation for college.
As you can imagine, the commute between dichotomous events such as these
is always a time of real reflection for me...I drive along and think
about how similar young people can be despite their situations in life,
and yet how very different as well. And I’m reminded time and again of
that old debate between nature vs. nurture and the influence of each on
children as they learn and grow. It’s a fascinating way to spend my
career, and I’m blessed to be able to do this work that I love.
One of our fundamental truths that I have definitely confirmed through
these unique observations is that above all else, no other factor so
deeply influences a child’s success as the support that they receive
from their homes. Whether from biological parents, other family
members, or from another source of support, the teaching of ethical
decision-making, character, spirituality, healthy lifestyles, and other
essential life skills, must be primarily rooted in a supportive home.
More than just another one of my minivan musings, however, this is a
well-documented fact.
In the 2004 study ‘Teaching Interrupted’, Public Agenda found that too
many students are losing critical opportunities for learning—and too
many teachers are leaving the profession because of the behavior of a
few persistent troublemakers. Topping the list of causes of behavior
problems in the nation’s schools is parents’ failure to teach their
children discipline. (View the full study at www.publicagenda.org).
I think it’s safe to say, therefore, that parenting is the single most
important responsibility that faces Americans today. And yet, more and
more of us are doing this tough job alone. According to a study
published by the National Center for Education Statistics entitled ‘The
Condition of Education’, the past 25 years have seen a nearly twenty
percent decrease in the percentage of two-parent households among school
children. (to view the study, visit
http://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/2003/section1/indicator02.asp)
But I am also a firm believer that of the old African proverb which says
that “It takes a village to raise a child”. And I have seen, although
not as frequently as I might hope, children overcome obstacles from the
homes in which they live...it can be done. And that’s why I so strongly
believe in community-based intervention such as after-school enrichment
and mentoring programs.
A Cornell University study found that what matters most to children
being raised by their mothers is her education and ability level, family
income and quality of the home environment. These findings were
consistent among ethic groups. “Over all, we find little or no evidence
of systematic negative effects of single parenthood on children...in the
presence of favorable... characteristics, such as education and positive
child expectations, along with social resources supportive of parenting,
single parenthood in and of itself need to be a risk factor for a
child’s performance” says Henry Ricciuti, professor emeritus at Cornell.
I think the key ingredient is “social resources supportive of
parenting”. And whether single or not, don’t all strong families depend
upon a societal network that they carve out of their own communities?
Increased parental involvement and accountability is even a part of the
controversial legislation under the ‘No Child Left Behind’ act.
In this issue of ‘Courtesy Coach’ I wanted to share a few online
contacts of organizations which serve in local communities as resources
for parents. I would also like to solicit your input and invite
dialogue–what networks exist in your community for parents? Are there
programs which nurture single parents in particular? Don’t know? Find
out...contact a local community education center, the YMCA, or even your
local library’s reference desk. Next, challenge yourself to become a
part of a network which supports parenting in your community. Because
if we are truly going to cultivate a culture of courtesy, we must do so
where our young people live, learn, and play.
I look forward to hearing YOUR ideas for helping support parents
(including yourself!) and encourage you to visit the links below:
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The National Education’s Parent Resource Center:
http://www.nea.org/parents/index.html
Find your Parent Information Resource Center (US Dept. Of Ed.)
http://www.pirc-info.net/pircs.asp
Additional Local/regional resources (limited)
www.parenthood.com
Article: What is an Involved Parent?
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5304.html
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EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT
COURTESY COACHING SUMMER MINI-CAMP: Boys and girls ages 8-12 will learn
essential behaviors, skills, and values of courtesy in this fun and
interactive course! This summer, we are proud to offer an etiquette
course on Tuesday, August 9th through Thursday August 10th from
10:00-11:30am at the Grosse Pointe Historical Society’s Provencal-Weir
House on Kercheval Avenue in Grosse Pointe Farms. Topics covered
include body language and introductions, table manners, correspondence,
email and electronic etiquette, and friendship issues specific to upper
elementary students. The cost is $70 and includes all materials and a
light snack daily. For more information or to register, please call
586-246-3123 or email us at Regi-@teapartycompany.com.
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COURTESY COACHING FOR LEADERS AND MANAGERS: An October retreat is being
planned for business leaders who are interested in cultivating a culture
of courtesy in their workplace. This train-the-trainer session will
focus on encouraging ethical decision-making and business practices as
well as social norms and behaviors in the workplace. Courtesy Coaching
improves work skills by improving life skills. For more information,
please call 586-246-3123 or email Busi-@teapartycompany.com
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The mission of The Courtesy Project is to Cultivate a Culture of
Courtesy where individuals work, live, play, and learn. Our training
improves work and employability skills by improving life skills.
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