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COURTESY COACH: HOLIDAY ETIQUETTE TIPS
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The Tea Party Company
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Nov 30, 2005 07:27 PST
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IN THIS ISSUE:
ETIQUETTE TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON
THE WORLD IS COMING TO DETROIT!
PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM IDENTITY THEFT
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“Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the
hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.--Washington Irving
“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a
happy family all wrapped up in each other.” --Burton Hillis
“My family and I suffered so much. When we received our four goats and
learned about the passing on the gift, I could not imagine it was I who
would help end the suffering of another.”
–Alves Mangagao, Heifer Project International Partner from Mozambique
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A MUST FOR THE TOP OF EVERY CHRISTMAS LIST: www.heifer.org
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The following is an excerpt from C & G News November 15th edition:
ETIQUETTE EXPERTS OFFER TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON
By Jennifer S. McDonald, C&G Staff Writer
The holiday season can be one of the most joyous times of the year – and
the most stressful.
The pressures of parties and gift giving and receiving can be enough to
turn even the most courteous person into a raving Grinch.
That’s why several etiquette experts are offering their advice for those
in desperate need of a touch-up before the get-togethers begin.
Whether you’re the host or the guest, there are many things you should
consider to make your party or visit the best experience possible for
all.
A HOST OF PROBLEMS
“During the holidays, most of vary our schedules to such a degree that
we’re physically off our game to begin with,” Cyndee Harrison, founder
of Courtesy Coaching in Grosse Pointe Farms, said. “Our eating habits
change, our sleeping habits change, we’re faced with budgetary concerns,
then we face the pressure of living up to this Christmas card image.”
Harrison explains that as you’re planning a holiday party, it may not be
the time to try something new. If you’re not a wine connoisseur, for
example, don’t attempt to host a wine tasting party. If afternoon tea
parties aren’t quite, well, your cup of tea, don’t throw one, Harrison
said. Wait until a season when you can really focus on learning a new
type of entertaining to host something out of your comfort zone.
“The first thing to remember is to be yourself,” Harrison added. “If you
don’t do something in your everyday life, then the holiday probably
isn’t the time to take that on.”
For busy hosts and hostesses, the best thing to do is pick a theme.
Whether it revolves around colors, music or an object, themes keep you
right on track. “A theme is going to keep you consistent,” Harrison
said. “It also helps you keep costs down, as your purchases can be more
focused.”
A big party-throwing no-no is sending invitations via e-mail, she said
“except in the case of groups who meet on a regular basis (such as book
clubs or bridge groups)”. Sending handwritten invitations through
regular “snail mail” gives that personal touch that most guests really
appreciate. Let your guests know what to expect, Harrison said.
An informed guest is a happy guest.“If it’s a black tie-optional affair,
then everyone should be aware of that,” Harrison added. “But if it’s a
cookie swap where people will go out caroling, they should know that,
too.”
YOU COULD HAVE GUEST
If going to parties is more your thing than hosting, there are still
some conventional rules that apply. No host or hostesses enjoys a rude
guest.
Three basic things to remember are: R.S.V.P. as soon as you can, arrive
on time, and drink alcoholic beverages responsibly.
“The alcoholic beverages should complement the meal, but you’re worrying
your hostess if you drink too much,” Harrison said. “You’re causing him
or her stress. She doesn’t want any of her guests leaving and being
slapped by a DUI–or worse.”
Ask the host or hostess if they would like you to bring a dish to share,
but don’t be offended if they don’t want your green bean casserole,
Harrison said. Usually, dinner menus are planned ahead of time and your
dish could disrupt the host's plans.
If you’re not a cook, you can offer your help in other ways, but always
ask first.
And perhaps the best gift you can give to your host is to help make the
party more fun for others who are there “See yourself as part of the
chemistry that is going to make her party a great success,” Harrison
said. “Step out of your bubble and talk to other guests, make them
comfortable.”
A COUPLE MORE THINGS
Even though the holidays are full of people clamoring for your
attention, sometimes people forget those who are closest – their
significant others.
Peter Post, the great-grandson of etiquette master Emily Post and
director of the Emily Post Institute, just finished his third book,
“Essential Manners for Couples,” and offers information for the two of
you when you need it most.
He said most duos make one mistake during the holiday season: not
spending enough quality time with each other. “A couple once told me
that after they had children, their attitude toward themselves became,
‘Our children come first, and we’ll have time for ourselves later,’”
Post said. “I thought, ‘Yikes!’ I have two grown children and I know how
that is in life, but it’s important to nurture each other.”
One piece of advice is to make sure you set aside time alone, especially
during busy, festive times, Post added. “Do something, but spend a
little time connecting,” Post said of the holiday season. “It’s really
good for the two of you. Make sure it’s got something positive going on.
It’s also really good for your children to see that you always have time
for each other … as they grow up.”
His book depicts the most common places, situations and times when
inconsiderate behavior will most likely cause ripples with a happy pair.
After 32 years of marriage to his wife, Tricia, he should know.
“It’s really a book that’s based off the idea that education is about
building the best relationships possible,” Post said. “It’s kind of like
preventative maintenance. Instead of dealing with problems after they
arise, we’ll stop them before they begin.”
Don’t forget: The holidays are as much a time for you as for everyone
else. With just a few changes, it can be a stress-free winter
wonderland.
For more information or to purchase Post’s book “Essential Manners for
Couples” visit the Web site www.emilypost.com.
To reach Cyndee Harrison of Courtesy Coaching, e-mail her at
in-@courtesycoach.com.
Read her tips for helping children with holiday etiquette at:
http://organizedchristmas.com/news126.html
You can reach Jennifer S. McDonald at jmcdo-@candgnews.com
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THE SUPER BOWL IS COMING...What Impression Will Detroiters Make?
There are now less than 70 days until kickoff to SuperBowl XL here in my
adopted hometown of Deee-troit. Having been an Atlanta resident during
major sporting events such as the 1996 Olympics, the 2000 Super Bowl,
and many World Series games, I know firsthand about the excitement that
can build in the surrounding area...and I’m thrilled to share with you
that the Courtesy Coaching program is a part of the Super Bowl Host
Committee’s Community Outreach program. We’ve been busily working to
help local businesses and community leaders prepare their employees and
volunteers to provide world-class service and showcase the best that
Detroit has to offer. To learn more about Courtesy Coaching for
business, visit our website at www.courtesycoach.com or call
586-246-3123.
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PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM IDENTITY THEFT
Normally, this newsletter is reserved for issues and items related to
Cultivating a Culture of Courtesy. But when I came across this list of
simple steps that we can take to protect our identity, I couldn’t help
but include them to our readers...as a courtesy to you, of course :)
1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of
first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook,
they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or
your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID
REQUIRED".
3. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO
NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put
the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the
number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through
all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
4. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If
you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not
have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on
your checks. You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it
printed, anyone can get it.
5. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both
sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in
your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and
cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of
my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror
stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address,
Social Security number, credit cards.
6. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But
the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so
you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.
7. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your
credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you
were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if
there ever is one).
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LOOKING FOR AN ADVENT-FOCUSED CELEBRATION OF CHRISTMAS? CHECK OUT
http://www.cresourcei.org/cyadvent.html
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The mission of The Courtesy Project is to Cultivate a Culture of
Courtesy where individuals work, live, play, and learn. Our training
improves work and employability skills by improving life skills.
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