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Welcome to The Funnies
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Jim Dowers
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Jul 28, 2009 18:51 PDT
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The Funnies are strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM
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From Carlisle,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
Tuesday July 28,2009
Today's country music video :
Hank Williams: Lovesick Blues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xu71i89xvs&feature=related
Patsy Cline - Walkin' After Midnight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkkM7K6smQA&feature=related
Tammy Wynette & Loretta Lynn -Your Good Girl Is Gonna Go Bad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSpIgcKcrhw&feature=related
Thought For Today: Before I started working here,
I drank, smoked, and used bad language. Thanks to this job,
I now have good reason.
From halfway across the store, I could hear a mother calling for her son: "Jimmy" Jimmy!" I turned a corner into another aisle and found a six-year-old by himself playing with some umbrellas. "Are you Jimmy!" I asked. "Yes I am".
"Didn't you hear your mother call?"
"Yes"
"Aren't you going to go to her?"
He shook his head. "She's not hysterical yet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My five-year-old nephew came running into the house, crying and shaking his right hand. Sobbing, he told me he had been bouncing the basketball and it had bounced into the end of his fingers. From the way he was crying, I knew he just needed a kiss-it- better cure. His crying subsided and as he turned to go back outside, he said absently, "...or was it this hand?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grandpa is a late convert to the technological age. The other day, he called my father to complain that he couldn't use his printer: "The screen says 'Warming Up.'"
Dad ran over there, only to find half the printer melted. "What happened?" he asked.
"I don't know," said Grandpa. "But even the space heater didn't help."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leisure time is when your wife can't find you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend Billy's cat, Sam, loved riding in Billy's car, and it was always a battle if the animal was outside and he wanted to leave it at home. One day Billy left Sam on the front steps and got into his car. He was on the highway when suddenly he had to slam on the brakes to avoid the car ahead, and a screaming ball of fur slid down the front windshield. Afterwards, Sam travelled everywhere with Billy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Father giving advice to son: Never do anything once around the house that you don't want to do for the rest of your life."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kids never change. First they won't hang up their clothes, then they won't hang up the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After passing his driver's test, my grandson was asked to sign up to be an organ donor. Unsure, he turned to his father and asked, "Will it affect my football playing?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why should teenagers not drink coffee with school day breakfasts?
A: I might keep them awake in class.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper at the end of the service.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband who gets like a mule is bound to turn his wife into a nag
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Despite the fact that my in-laws had little interest in sports, we were watching a football game on television. The field was white and it was still snowing. My father-in-law wondered how they could play in such weather, and I answered that sometimes it added to the game to play under those conditions. Then my mother- in-law asked, "Doesn't it make it difficult to slide into home plate?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently, our town received a grant to build housing for midgets. According to our demographics, they figured that we should have six midgets living here. They sent enough money so that we could finance the building of homes and let the "little people" pay less than the going rate for rent. Since we have only one "little person" living here it turns out that he won't have to pay anything for the only house we built, the subsidy covers everything. We call it a "Stay Free Mini Pad."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zeus is a standard poodle, part of a group of dogs and owners who regularly meet in a park near my house. He’s never without a ball in his mouth. He carries it to the park, plays fetch eagerly with his owner, then proudly carries it home again. During breaks, he holds the ball in his mouth. One day a misdirected throw resulted in the ball landing in a fast flowing creek. Zeus was disinclined to get wet, and his owner was too slow to catch up to the ball. We all watched as it floated downstream out of sight.
"Too bad for Zeus," I commiserated with the owner.
"Oh, that’s okay," she replied, "he’s got plenty more."
"Perhaps," I replied, "but how’s he going to get home now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm a police officer and was parked near a motel, running radar checks,
when a man approached my vehicle and asked for help. He complained
that the volume on the television in the empty motel room next to his
was so loud that he and his wife couldn't sleep. No one was in the
motel office. The man's wife was outside when I reached their door.
That's when I got my idea. I asked her for their remote control, aimed
it through the window of the empty room, and turned off the blaring TV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nearing 40 and woefully out of shape, I resolved to buy a bicycle
and begin an exercise regimen. As I browsed in the bike shop, a young,
athletic-looking clerk approached. "What do you have for a fat old
lady with a big, tender posterior who hasn't ridden in years?" I asked.
He didn't even blink. "Well, why don't you bring her in, and we'll see
what we can do," he said, clinching the sale.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today's Links:
*some links may have adult contents on the same page, I have no control what
else appears on the page. Clicker beware!
Video What a Wonderful World
http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/Puppet.htm
The Secret Guide to Computers
http://secretguide.net/read/index.php
The Spot to Save - link to various savings at various stores
http://www.thespottosave.com/
How do they do that with HTML?
http://www.tashian.com/htmlguide/index.html
5 Basic Rules of Web Design
http://www.grantasticdesigns.com/5rules.html
Nationwide recall of Nestle cookie dough announced
http://www.dailyitem.com/0100_news/local_story_170164841.html
Amusement Rides
http://www.rideaccidents.com/
Game Crazy Chess
Action packed arcade game where you pick up points by moving
your knight using the rules of chess.
http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=324
1948 Tucker Via Kent
http://www.laubly.com/1948tucker.htm
Butchart Gardens - 55 Acres of Natures Beauty Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/kvsqav
Golden Age of Children's Records Via Wesley
http://kiddierecords.com/
Find Word Rhymes Via Wesley
http://www.writerhymes.com/
Darkness Reborn RPG
http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n"> Here </a>
Space Strike
http://tinyurl.com/dz5y7t
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/dz5y7t"> Here </a>
Doomland 2154
http://tinyurl.com/nep6mq
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/nep6mq"> Here </a>
"Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man." (Rita Rudner)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
-28-
Buddy Spicher, session fiddle player, born Dubois, PA 1938.
Harold Burkett of "The Four Guys" born Steubenville, OH 1939.
Jonathan Edwards, Bluegrass singer/songwriter/guitarist/harmonica born Aitkin, NN 1946.
Gene Vincent appeared on the "Perry Como Show," 1956.
Jerry Lee Lewis debuted on national TV, on the "Steve Allen Show," 1957.
Marty Robbins released "Its Your World/You Told Me So" 1961.
Bill Anderson's first No. 1 "Mama Sang A Song" debuted on the charts 1962.
Charlie Pride recorded "Kiss An Angel Good Morning," 1971.
Ralph Emery conducted his last all night radio show on WSM 1972.
Donna Fargo scores her fourth straight #1 single "You Were Always There" 1973.
Earl Thomas Conley's "Angel In Disguise" went to #1 1984.
Arista released Diamond Rio's album "Unbelievable" 1998.
Thanks Bill
Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorr-@hotmail.com
**** Country Music News ****
Gretchen Wilson splits with SonyNashville
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 – Gretchen Wilson started out fast with Red Neck Woman and was a huge star for SonyNashville. But today with a fourth album that never was released and oft delayed, Wilson and Sony Nashville split.
A statement said the two 'have mutually decided to part ways."
Wilson was a huge star out of the box in 2004 and had three number 1 albums in "Here For The Party," "All Jacked Up" and "One Of The Boys."
But several singles from what would have been her fourth album did poorly on the charts. Don't Do Me No Good peaked at 43 in July 2008. Don't Make Me Take My Earrings Out was out in April and failed to chart.
"Though Wilson will no longer record with the label as a solo artist, both parties look forward to working together on future catalogue projects." the statement said. That usually means greatest hits or compilation packages.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Randy Kohrs Band equipment stolen
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 – The Randy Kohrs Band lost more than $50,000 worth of equipment after its van was broken into this past weekend following a gig at the Musicians Against Childhood Cancer festival near Columbus, Ohio.
The equipment was stolen out of the Sleep Inn parking lot in Obetz, Ohio between 3:30 a.m. and 5 a.m.
"This was probably the only time we've ever left our stuff in the van like that, and we only did so because we were going to be in the hotel only a short time before heading home," said Ashley Brown of Kohrs' band via email.
"They ripped the lock completely out of the driver's side door to get in. Luckily, the banjo player, Mike Sumner, was riding with his girlfriend and had his banjo in her car instead.
Oddly enough, none of the drums or related gear were stolen," Brown wrote.
Missing items include:
Scheerhorn L-Body Resonator guitar #547
Amistar Randy Kohrs Model tricone resonator
Meredith all blonde, tongue-oiled maple resonator guitar=
Mike Long D-18 style acoustic guitar
All guitars had fishman pick-ups
Custom Cedar Creek Case for the Meredith
plate Two white Calton Cases with Kohrs' name on them, both had red interiors Cedar Creek case for the acoustic Mike Long Guitar
Forrest Craig (Texas-based luthier) Violin with L.R. Baggs pickup Strad copy violin, roughly 1880's, the tag inside not exactly accurate.
A double violin case, the attached strap doesn't match - it's maroon and gray with gold hardware.
Upright acoustic King Bass, white with black trim, red tailpiece, rare 2 Warwick 2
Speaker cabinets Silver waterproof helicopter case with cables and a Shure wireless system
3 Stage Ninja brand quarter inch cables
Fishman Dreadnought Aura, Fishman resophonic Aura, Fishman Reverb, Fishman Chorus, Fishman Delay, Boosta Grande Boost pedal, 2 Radial DI's, Radial Tone Bone Pre-Amp, Hilton Optical volume pedal, 2 Peterson Strobe Stomp Tuners (one had Ashley B. written on the front of it in black marker)
Tool Kit with extra cords and assorted tools.
We don't want to discourage the thieves from attempting to sell anything as we'd love for them to be caught ASAP - the last thing we want is for the thieves to just throw them in a dumpster or ditch, never to be found."
**** Amy's Kitchen ****
Grandma's Easy Peach Cobbler
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup milk
1 stick margarine, melted
29 ounce can sliced peaches
with juice, divided
Combine the flour, sugar, and baking powder. Mix well. Blend the milk into the flour mixture until moistened. Add the margarine, 3/4 of the peaches, and 2/3 of the juice. Mix. Spread into a 2-quart casserole. Pour the remaining peaches and the juice over the batter. Do not stir. Bake at 350 F for about 30 minutes.
Melissa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peach Smoothie
2 cups ice
2 peaches, pitted and cut into pieces
3/4 cup skim milk
1 container (7 ounces) plain 2% Greek yogurt
1/2 cup tangerine or orange juice
3 tablespoons honey
In a blender, combine the ice, peaches, milk, yogurt, and juice. Place the lid on a blender and select mix or crush setting. Blend until smooth. While the machine is on, pour in the honey. Blend an additional 30 seconds. Pour into glasses and serve. Makes 6 cups
Melissa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****A Parting Thought ****
The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one
Last Call Y'ALL
While I was a patient in the hospital, I was pleasantly surprised one
evening to be served a delicious pumpkin custard. I knew that the
mother of one of the nurses was the cook, so I asked her if she could
get me the recipe.
The next day the nurse came to see me. Smiling, she said, "My mother
wants to know whether you want the recipe for 60 or 120 people."
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Please
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally.
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
Everyone is fair game
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We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscriber's
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Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.
Disclaimer : All of my materials are borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which ever you prefer.
~
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Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
comments at: jim4-@verizon.net
Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
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<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=6><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000 size=2>The Funnies are strictly a
<FONT size=3>DOUB</FONT></FONT><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000
size=2><FONT size=3>LE</FONT> opt-in service.THIS IS NOT
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<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=3><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>From Carlisle,Indiana<BR>U.S.A.<BR><FONT
color=#0000ff>Welcome to T</FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080 size=7><FONT face=Verdana><FONT size=3><STRONG><FONT
color=#0000ff>he Funnies<BR>est.7-4-2000
<BR><BR></FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT size=4><FONT size=5><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>These are clean jokes. However,<BR>They
are,<BR>PG - Not intended for younger readers -
PG</FONT><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" color=#800000 size=6><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT
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size=2><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P><FONT
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<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" color=#800000 size=6><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT face=Arial
color=#000000><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000><STRONG>Tuesday July
28,2009</STRONG></FONT><BR><BR>Today's country music video
:<BR><STRONG>Hank Williams: Lovesick Blues<BR></STRONG><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xu71i89xvs&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff><STRONG>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xu71i89xvs&;feature=related</STRONG></FONT></A><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><STRONG><FONT face=Arial><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3>Patsy
Cline - Walkin' After Midnight<BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkkM7K6smQA&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff
size=3>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkkM7K6smQA&;feature=related</FONT></A><BR></FONT><BR></P>
<H1 align=center><FONT color=#000000 size=3>Tammy Wynette & Loretta Lynn
-Your Good Girl Is Gonna Go Bad<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSpIgcKcrhw&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSpIgcKcrhw&;feature=related</FONT></A></FONT></H1>
<P align=center><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3><EM>Thought For Today:
</EM>Before I started working here, <BR>I drank, smoked, and used bad language.
Thanks to this job,<BR> I now have good
reason.</FONT></FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT><BR></P></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#0000ff size=3><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><FONT color=#0000ff size=3>
<P align=center>From halfway across the store, I could hear a mother calling for
her son: "Jimmy" Jimmy!" I turned a corner into another aisle and found a
six-year-old by himself playing with some umbrellas. "Are you Jimmy!" I asked.
"Yes I am".<BR><BR>"Didn't you hear your mother
call?"<BR><BR>"Yes"<BR><BR>"Aren't you going to go to her?"<BR><BR>He shook his
head. "She's not hysterical yet." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>My five-year-old
nephew came running into the house, crying and shaking his right hand. Sobbing,
he told me he had been bouncing the basketball and it had bounced into the end
of his fingers. From the way he was crying, I knew he just needed a kiss-it-
better cure. His crying subsided and as he turned to go back outside, he said
absently, "...or was it this hand?"<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Grandpa is a late
convert to the technological age. The other day, he called my father to complain
that he couldn't use his printer: "The screen says 'Warming Up.'"<BR><BR>Dad ran
over there, only to find half the printer melted. "What happened?" he
asked.<BR><BR>"I don't know," said Grandpa. "But even the space heater didn't
help."<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Leisure time is when your wife can't find
you<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>My friend Billy's cat, Sam, loved riding in Billy's
car, and it was always a battle if the animal was outside and he wanted to leave
it at home. One day Billy left Sam on the front steps and got into his car. He
was on the highway when suddenly he had to slam on the brakes to avoid the car
ahead, and a screaming ball of fur slid down the front windshield. Afterwards,
Sam travelled everywhere with Billy<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>"Father giving
advice to son: Never do anything once around the house that you don't want to do
for the rest of your life."<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Kids never change.
First they won't hang up their clothes, then they won't hang up the
phone. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>After passing his driver's test, my
grandson was asked to sign up to be an organ donor. Unsure, he turned to his
father and asked, "Will it affect my football
playing?" <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Q: Why should teenagers not drink
coffee with school day breakfasts?<BR><BR>A: I might keep them awake in
class.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>On Sunday, a special collection will be taken
to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on
the new carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper at the end of the
service.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>The husband who gets like a mule is bound
to turn his wife into a nag<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Despite the fact that
my in-laws had little interest in sports, we were watching a football game on
television. The field was white and it was still snowing. My father-in-law
wondered how they could play in such weather, and I answered that sometimes it
added to the game to play under those conditions. Then my mother- in-law asked,
"Doesn't it make it difficult to slide into home
plate?" <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Recently, our town received a grant to
build housing for midgets. According to our demographics, they figured that we
should have six midgets living here. They sent enough money so that we could
finance the building of homes and let the "little people" pay less than the
going rate for rent. Since we have only one "little person" living here it turns
out that he won't have to pay anything for the only house we built, the subsidy
covers everything. We call it a "Stay Free Mini
Pad." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Zeus is a standard poodle, part of a
group of dogs and owners who regularly meet in a park near my house. He’s never
without a ball in his mouth. He carries it to the park, plays fetch eagerly with
his owner, then proudly carries it home again. During breaks, he holds the ball
in his mouth. One day a misdirected throw resulted in the ball landing in a fast
flowing creek. Zeus was disinclined to get wet, and his owner was too slow to
catch up to the ball. We all watched as it floated downstream out of
sight.<BR><BR>"Too bad for Zeus," I commiserated with the owner.<BR><BR>"Oh,
that’s okay," she replied, "he’s got plenty more."<BR><BR>"Perhaps," I replied,
"but how’s he going to get home now?" <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR> I'm
a police officer and was parked near a motel, running radar checks, <BR>when a
man approached my vehicle and asked for help. He complained <BR>that the volume
on the television in the empty motel room next to his<BR>was so loud that he and
his wife couldn't sleep. No one was in the<BR>motel office. The man's wife was
outside when I reached their door. <BR>That's when I got my idea. I asked her
for their remote control, aimed <BR>it through the window of the empty room, and
turned off the blaring TV.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Nearing 40 and woefully out
of shape, I resolved to buy a bicycle <BR>and begin an exercise regimen. As I
browsed in the bike shop, a young, <BR>athletic-looking clerk approached. "What
do you have for a fat old <BR>lady with a big, tender posterior who hasn't
ridden in years?" I asked.<BR>He didn't even blink. "Well, why don't you bring
her in, and we'll see <BR>what we can do," he said, clinching the
sale. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></P>
<DIV align=center><STRONG>Today's Links:</STRONG></DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG>*some links may have adult contents on
the same page, I have no control what</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG> else appears on the page. Clicker
beware!</STRONG></FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV></FONT>
<DIV align=center><BR><FONT size=2>Video What a Wonderful World </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><A title=http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/Puppet.htm
href="http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/Puppet.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/Puppet.htm</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>The Secret Guide to Computers </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><A title=http://secretguide.net/read/index.php
href="http://secretguide.net/read/index.php"><FONT
size=2>http://secretguide.<WBR>net/read/<WBR>index.php</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2> The Spot to Save - link to various savings
at various stores<BR></FONT><A title=http://www.thespottosave.com/
href="http://www.thespottosave.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.thespott<WBR>osave.com/</FONT></A><FONT size=2> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>How do they do that with HTML?<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.tashian.com/htmlguide/index.html
href="http://www.tashian.com/htmlguide/index.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.tashian.<WBR>com/htmlguide/<WBR>index.html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>5 Basic Rules of Web Design<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.grantasticdesigns.com/5rules.html
href="http://www.grantasticdesigns.com/5rules.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.grantast<WBR>icdesigns.<WBR>com/5rules.<WBR>html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Nationwide recall of Nestle cookie dough announced </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><A
title=http://www.dailyitem.com/0100_news/local_story_170164841.html
href="http://www.dailyitem.com/0100_news/local_story_170164841.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.dailyite<WBR>m.com/0100_<WBR>news/local_<WBR>story_170164841.<WBR>html</FONT></A><FONT
size=2> <BR><BR>Amusement Rides<BR></FONT><A title=http://www.rideaccidents.com/
href="http://www.rideaccidents.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.rideacci<WBR>dents.com/</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>Game Crazy Chess</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2> Action packed arcade game where you pick up
points by moving </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>your knight using the rules of
chess.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><A
title=http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=324
href="http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=324"><FONT
size=2>http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=324</FONT></A></DIV>
<P align=center><FONT size=2>1948 Tucker Via Kent<BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.laubly.com/1948tucker.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.laubly.<WBR>com/1948tucker.<WBR>htm</FONT></A><FONT size=2>
<BR><BR>Butchart Gardens - 55 Acres of Natures Beauty Via Wesley<BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/kvsqav"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/kvsqav</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Golden Age
of Children's Records Via Wesley<BR></FONT><A
href="http://kiddierecords.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://kiddierecord<WBR>s.com/</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Find Word
Rhymes Via Wesley<BR></FONT><A href="http://www.writerhymes.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.writerhy<WBR>mes.com/</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Darkness
Reborn RPG <BR></FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/dxys9n</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/dxys9n</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Space Strike <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/dz5y7t"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/dz5y7t</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/dz5y7t"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/dz5y7t</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Doomland 2154 <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/nep6mq"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/nep6mq</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/nep6mq"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/nep6mq</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR></FONT><BR><BR>"Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man."
(Rita Rudner) <BR><FONT color=#000000
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><STRONG> </STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG>Please help, it won't cost ya a thing<BR>but it will
really feel good</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT> <FONT
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000
size=1><STRONG>Free Food For Homeless Dogs<BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT
color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><FONT
color=#ff00ff size=2><STRONG>Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know. <BR></STRONG></FONT><A href="http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/"
target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.thebreastcancersite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><FONT color=#008000
size=2><STRONG>Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation</STRONG></FONT><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><STRONG> <BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.organdonor.gov/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.organdonor.gov/</STRONG></FONT></A><STRONG> </STRONG><FONT
size=2><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#000000
size=3>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2><STRONG>The
band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks<BR>for
*each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies<BR>to
help find a cure for autism. </STRONG></FONT></FONT></SPAN><BR><FONT
color=#0000ff size=2><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214"><FONT
color=#0000ff
size=2><STRONG>http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214</STRONG></FONT></A></FONT><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2>About
Free Rice<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3>Free Rice is a sister site of the world
poverty site<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><A
href="http://www.freerice.com/about.html"><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3>http://www.freerice.com/about.html</FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3> </FONT><A href="http://www.poverty.com/"><FONT
size=3>Poverty.com</FONT></A><BR><STRONG><FONT color=#ff00ff size=3>No one
should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim<BR><FONT
color=#000000>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><BR></P></FONT></STRONG><FONT
color=#0000ff>
<P align=center><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3><STRONG>****Bill's Country
Calendar </STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#000000
size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG><FONT size=2><EM><FONT color=#ca1010>****This
Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission<BR>from the
original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****</FONT></EM><BR></P>
<P align=center>-28-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Buddy Spicher, session fiddle player, born Dubois, PA 1938.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Harold Burkett of "The Four Guys" born Steubenville, OH
1939.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jonathan Edwards, Bluegrass
singer/songwriter/guitarist/harmonica born Aitkin, NN 1946.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Gene Vincent appeared on the "Perry Como Show," 1956.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jerry Lee Lewis debuted on national TV, on the "Steve Allen
Show," 1957.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Marty Robbins released "Its Your World/You Told Me So" 1961.
</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Bill Anderson's first No. 1 "Mama Sang A Song" debuted on the
charts 1962.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Charlie Pride recorded "Kiss An Angel Good Morning," 1971.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ralph Emery conducted his last all night radio show on WSM
1972.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Donna Fargo scores her fourth straight #1 single "You Were
Always There" 1973.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Earl Thomas Conley's "Angel In Disguise" went to #1 1984.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Arista released Diamond Rio's album "Unbelievable" 1998.</P>
<P align=center></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><FONT size=2>Thanks
Bill<BR></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><A href="http://www.rockabillyhall.com/rcnv.html"><FONT
color=#000000 size=1><STRONG>Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News &
Views" Page</STRONG></FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#000000><STRONG><EM><FONT
size=2>Compiled by Bill Morrison -
billmorr-@hotmail.com</FONT></EM></STRONG></A><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><BR></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><FONT size=3><STRONG> <BR>**** Country Music News
</STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#008000 size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
color=#008000></P>
<P align=center><STRONG>Gretchen Wilson splits with SonyNashville</STRONG></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3><STRONG>Tuesday, July 28, 2009</STRONG> – Gretchen
Wilson started out fast with <I>Red Neck Woman</I> and was a huge star for
SonyNashville. But today with a fourth album that never was released and oft
delayed, Wilson and Sony Nashville split. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=3>A statement said the two 'have mutually
decided to part ways." </FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=3>Wilson was a huge star out of the box in
2004 and had three number 1 albums in "Here For The Party," "All Jacked Up" and
"One Of The Boys." </FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=3>But several singles from what would have
been her fourth album did poorly on the charts. <I>Don't Do Me No Good</I>
peaked at 43 in July 2008. <I>Don't Make Me Take My Earrings Out</I> was out in
April and failed to chart. </FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=3>"Though Wilson will no longer record with
the label as a solo artist, both parties look forward to working together on
future catalogue projects." the statement said. That usually means greatest hits
or compilation packages.</FONT> <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Randy Kohrs Band
equipment stolen<BR></STRONG><FONT size=3>Tuesday, July 28, 2009 – The Randy
Kohrs Band lost more than $50,000 worth of equipment after its van was broken
into this past weekend following a gig at the Musicians Against Childhood Cancer
festival near Columbus, Ohio. <BR>The equipment was stolen out of the Sleep Inn
parking lot in Obetz, Ohio between 3:30 a.m. and 5 a.m. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>"This was probably the only time we've ever left
our stuff in the van like that, and we only did so because we were going to be
in the hotel only a short time before heading home," said Ashley Brown of Kohrs'
band via email. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>"They ripped the lock completely out of the
driver's side door to get in. Luckily, the banjo player, Mike Sumner, was riding
with his girlfriend and had his banjo in her car instead. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Oddly enough, none of the drums or related gear
were stolen," Brown wrote. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Missing items include: </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Scheerhorn L-Body Resonator guitar #547 </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Amistar Randy Kohrs Model tricone resonator
</FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Meredith all blonde, tongue-oiled maple resonator
guitar= </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Mike Long D-18 style acoustic guitar </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>All guitars had fishman pick-ups </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Custom Cedar Creek Case for the Meredith
</FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>plate Two white Calton Cases with Kohrs' name on
them, both had red interiors Cedar Creek case for the acoustic Mike Long Guitar
</FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Forrest Craig (Texas-based luthier) Violin with
L.R. Baggs pickup Strad copy violin, roughly 1880's, the tag inside not exactly
accurate. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>A double violin case, the attached strap doesn't
match - it's maroon and gray with gold hardware. </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Upright acoustic King Bass, white with black trim,
red tailpiece, rare 2 Warwick 2 </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Speaker cabinets Silver waterproof helicopter case
with cables and a Shure wireless system </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>3 Stage Ninja brand quarter inch cables </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Fishman Dreadnought Aura, Fishman resophonic Aura,
Fishman Reverb, Fishman Chorus, Fishman Delay, Boosta Grande Boost pedal, 2
Radial DI's, Radial Tone Bone Pre-Amp, Hilton Optical volume pedal, 2 Peterson
Strobe Stomp Tuners (one had Ashley B. written on the front of it in black
marker) </FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>Tool Kit with extra cords and assorted tools.
</FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=3>We don't want to discourage the thieves from
attempting to sell anything as we'd love for them to be caught ASAP - the last
thing we want is for the thieves to just throw them in a dumpster or ditch,
never to be found."</FONT> </P>
<P align=center></FONT></FONT><BR><FONT size=3><FONT
color=#008000><STRONG>****</STRONG> <STRONG>Amy's Kitchen</STRONG>
<STRONG>****</STRONG> </FONT><BR>Grandma's Easy Peach
Cobbler<BR> <BR>1 cup flour<BR>1 cup sugar<BR>2 tsp baking powder<BR>1/2
cup milk<BR>1 stick margarine, melted<BR>29 ounce can sliced peaches
<BR> with juice, divided<BR> <BR>Combine the flour, sugar, and
baking powder. Mix well. Blend the milk into the flour mixture until
moistened. Add the margarine, 3/4 of the peaches, and 2/3 of the
juice. Mix. Spread into a 2-quart casserole. Pour the
remaining peaches and the juice over the batter. Do not stir. Bake
at 350 F for about 30 minutes.<BR> <BR>Melissa<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Peach
Smoothie<BR> <BR>2 cups ice<BR>2 peaches, pitted and cut into pieces<BR>3/4
cup skim milk<BR>1 container (7 ounces) plain 2% Greek yogurt<BR>1/2 cup
tangerine or orange juice<BR>3 tablespoons honey<BR> <BR>In a blender,
combine the ice, peaches, milk, yogurt, and juice. Place the lid on a
blender and select mix or crush setting. Blend until smooth. While
the machine is on, pour in the honey. Blend an additional 30
seconds. Pour into glasses and serve. Makes 6
cups<BR> <BR>Melissa<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><STRONG><FONT
color=#008000><BR>****A Parting Thought ****</FONT></STRONG><BR>The inherent
downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently
catching one<BR><BR><STRONG><FONT color=#008000>Last Call
Y'ALL</FONT></STRONG><BR>While I was a patient in the hospital, I was pleasantly
surprised one <BR>evening to be served a delicious pumpkin custard. I knew that
the <BR>mother of one of the nurses was the cook, so I asked her if she could
<BR>get me the recipe.<BR>The next day the nurse came to see me. Smiling, she
said, "My mother <BR>wants to know whether you want the recipe for 60 or 120
people." </P></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG><BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#0000ff><STRONG><FONT
size=4>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+<BR></FONT></STRONG><STRONG><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>Hey, Let's be careful out
there<BR></FONT>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+</FONT><BR>Please<BR></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG>Don't take anything you see in the Funnies
personally. <BR>The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing
more.<BR>Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target
here.<BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>Everyone is fair
game</FONT><BR>The Funnies are strictly an opt-in
service.<BR></STRONG><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>We do not sell, lease, loan, or
give our subscriber's <BR>addresses to anyone for any reason.</FONT> <BR>Our
features are intended to be for entertainment only.<BR></DIV></DIV>
<DIV align=center></STRONG></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><STRONG><FONT
color=#ff0033><FONT class=Verdana14>Disclaimer : </FONT></FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8 color=#000000>All of my materials are borrowed </FONT><FONT
color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>from various areas on the web <FONT
color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>and from my readers. All are
</FONT><FONT class=Verdana8>believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright
o</FONT></FONT>n any of these materials </FONT></FONT></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG><FONT class=Verdana8>please </FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8>inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which
ever you prefer. </FONT><BR></STRONG></FONT><STRONG>~<BR></STRONG><STRONG>To
subscribe, <BR></STRONG><FONT size=3><BR><STRONG>Regarding any problems In
accordance with the 2004 <BR>Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
<BR>comments at: </STRONG><A
href="mailto:jim4-@verizon.net"><STRONG>jim4-@verizon.net</STRONG></A><FONT
color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><BR>Jim
Dowers<BR>P.O. Box 521 <BR>Carlisle, IN 47838-0521</FONT><FONT
color=#008080><BR><BR><FONT
size=3><STRONG>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&<BR><BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>God Bless America , </FONT><FONT
color=#0000ff>Our Land</FONT></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#ff0000 size=3><STRONG>
, Forever May She Stand<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG>&&&&&&&&&&<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
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