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Welcome to The Funnies
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Jim Dowers
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Aug 04, 2009 18:57 PDT
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From Carlisle,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
Tuesday August 4,2009
Today's country music video :
A Country Boy Can Survive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4s0nzsU1Wg&feature=rec-HM-fresh+div
Charlie Daniels - Late 70's - Long Haired Country Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs4y5si8DGs&feature=related
This Ain't No Rag It's A Flag by Charlie Daniels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT4Wh1Eg3xM&feature=related
Thought For Today:My parents told me, "Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving." I tell my daughters, "Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job."
A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. 'Anybody home?' she asked.
'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.
'Is your father there?' asked the social worker.
'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.
'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker. 'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.
'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'
'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door. .......... 'This is the Outhouse!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at his official-looking vehicle, one of the valets asked my husband if he was driving a government car. "Why, yes," my husband replied, surprised by the question. "In fact it's an unmarked police car."
"Wow" the young man said, sliding behind the wheel. "This will be the first time I've been in the front seat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the definition of an 'Impotent Loser'?
A guy who can't even get his hopes up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU KNOW NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU IF...
When you were born, your father gave out old cigar butts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19TH CENTURY JOKE...
A man passing down a Chicago street finds a gentleman in the middle of the street buried up to his shoulders in the mud. The man asks the gentleman, "Do you need help?" "No, thank you," replies the gentleman. "I have a fine horse under me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A prisoner was asked how he came to be there.
“Want,” was the answer.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I wanted another man’s watch. He wasn’t willing I should have it, and the judge wants me to stay here five years.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the examination of a case for assault and battery, counsel, on cross-examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had at the first place they stopped? He answered:
“Four glasses of ale.”
“What next?”
“Two glasses of wine.”
“What next?”
“One glass of brandy.”
“What next?”,
“A fight, of course.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19TH CENTURY WIT:
Sutherland Edwards has published a novel called "What is a Girl to Do?" That depends somewhat. If she wants to climb over a fence, she is to look cautiously in every direction, gather her skirts in one hand, then change her mind and crawl under.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While on vacation, my wife and I stopped for lunch at a diner. We sat at the counter, right next to the grill. The cook was a young man who was very busy flipping pancakes. Every so often, he would stop and hit the grill with the handle of the spatula. Finally I asked him facetiously, " Does that improve the taste of the pancakes?"
"No," he replied, "That keeps the handle from falling off."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bigger your head gets, the easier it becomes to fill your shoes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our 14-year-old grandson Ian, has always loved our house. During
one visit, he remarked about it again.
"You know." I said, "when Granddad and I are gone your dad will
inherit this house. Maybe, when you're older, you'll live here,
yourself."
"Oh, Grandma," he said, looking around the living room, "that
would be great! And I wouldn't change a thing."
I was feeling quite smug about my decor until Ian added, "I mean,
look at this stuff! It's just like they had on the Titanic!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because our husbands, both medical students in their final years of internship,
were on call for extended periods, my friend and I were lamenting the fact that
we were left alone every fourth night with our young children. With a toddler
and a newborn, Allison was especially desperate for help on occasion. Even
when her husband was home, he was so exhausted that he never heard the
children’s cries at night. But she noticed that he always heard his pager when
he was called for an emergency at the hospital. So she did the obvious: When
she needed his assistance at night, she paged him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not,
Whether the weather be cold, Or whether the weather be hot,
We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While vacationing, we were stopped on the road by a police officer for
exceeding the posted speed limit. Trying to think of some way out of the
predicament, I said to the officer, "Do you realize how much money we've
spent in this area today?"
"Well," replied the officer, "you're about to spend a little more."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keeping our old farmhouse clean is a constant challenge. Muddy boots,
socks embedded with straw, dirt blowing through the windows, grandchildren,
cats and dogs, even the occasional newborn calf warming up on the porch all
contribute to my daily ritual of sweeping, shaking, vacuuming and washing.
I thought I was pretty neat and tidy until at work one day a colleague with
no kids and no pets complained about how dirty her house gets. "How bad
can it be?" I asked. "There are just the two of you living in a new house in
the city."
"Well," she complained, "have you ever noticed how much dust flies into the
air when you pull a Kleenex out of the box?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After being housebound with a newborn for a while, I was thankful one
day to leave the baby with my husband and get out for a walk. I bumped
into an acquaintance, who commented on how wonderful I looked. Aware
that I was still carrying a lot of extra weight, I thanked her. "No, really!"
she insisted. "You look so good! Now- how much longer? You must be
nearly due!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First cave man to second cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never
had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a
hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new
technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a
large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials.
"Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said.
"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor cleaning machine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today's Links:
*some links may have adult contents on the same page, I have no control what
else appears on the page. Clicker beware!
Video Here's to you United Airlines
'United Breaks Guitars': Passenger Strikes Back With Song
Dog driving a car and the reactions from people watching.
http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/dog-driving-a-car-funny-j4l.html
How much sugar do you eat?
http://sugarstacks.com/
Culinary Café - Barbecue & Grilling
http://www.culinarycafe.com/Barbeque.html
Site is a classic movie fans dream.
http://www.reelclassics.com/index.html
Elephant Odyssey
http://www.elephantodyssey.com/
Game Arkanoid
Hit the ball and try to shoot all the bricks out. They will change colors
before vanishing - you will see the whole rainbow; the violet ones are the
most hard to deal with, it will take seven strokes to get one.
http://junkplay.com/arcade-games/3-arcade-games/656-arkanoid.html
State Fairs
http://www.weekendevent.com/statefairs.htm
Wacky Gift Gallery Via Wesley
http://xrl.in/2tm3
Corning Museum of Glass -
http://www.cmog.org/dynamic.aspx?id=192
The Loftcube Project Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/49owl
Spiderman @ Drive-Thru
http://www.buffaloschips.com/Spiderman%202%20Drive-Thru.htm
Support Group
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsjk5.htm
Swearing In
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfkljr5.htm
Talking Bird
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjl.htm
Tattoo Removal Service
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khj.htm
A beauty is a woman you notice. A charmer is one who notices you.
- Adlai E. Stevenson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WALKING ON YOUR TOES...
The move commonly referred to as the moonwalk was originally known as the backslide, or "walking on your toes." Similar steps are reported as far back as 1932, used by Cab "Minnie the Moocher" Calloway.
It was first recorded in 1955 in a performance by tap dancer Bill Bailey.
The French mime artist, Marcel Marceau, used it throughout his career (from the 1940s through the 1980s), as part of the drama of his mime routines. Marceau's famous "Walking Against the Wind" routine was the original influence that Jackson drew from, in which Marceau pretends to be pushed backwards by a gust of wind.
****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
-4-
Carson Robison, singer/songwriter, born Oswego, KS 1890.
Frank Luther, recording artist, born Larkin, KS 1899.
Bill Cox, the "Dixie Songbird" born Kanawha County, WV 1897.
James Blackwood born Ackerman, MS 1919.
Benny Sims bluegrass fiddler/session musician born 1924.
Jimmie Rodgers recorded his first session for Ralph Peer, and Victor Records in Bristol, TN in 1927.
Scotty Stoneman born Galax, VA 1932.
Vicki Hackerman, "Dave & Sugar," born Louisville, KY 1950.
George Jones joined the Grand Ole Opry 1956.
Jimmy C. Newman joined the Grand Ole Opry 1956
Johnny Cash recorded "Doin' My Time" 1957.
Skeeter Davis joined the Grand Ole Opry 1959.
Jack Taylor, age 60, "The Prarie Ramblers," died 1962.
Connie Smith won a talent contest in Columbus, OH, that eventually led to stardom, 1963.
Fiddlin' Doc Roberts died in Madison Country, KY 1978.
Ricky Skaggs and Sharon White were married 1981.
Tex Atchison, age 70, died in Collinsville, IL 1982.
The Judds' single "Mama He's Crazy" became their first #1 hit 1984.
Kenny Price, age 56, the "Round Mound of Sound" died from a heart attack 1987.
Mercury released "The Complete Mercury Sessions" of Flatt & Scruggs 1992.
Dolly Parton's album "Eagle When She Flies" certified platinum 1992.
Roy Carter, bass singer for "The Chuck Wagon Gang" died 1997.
The Notorious Cherry Bombs, Rodney Crowell's road band in the 80's, debuted on The Tonight Show in 2004. The band included original members Rodney Crowell, Tony Brown, Vince Gill, Hank DeVito and Richard Bennett.
Thanks Bill
Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorr-@hotmail.com
**** Country Music News ****
Lorrie Morgan goes Broadway
Tuesday, August 4, 2009 – Lorrie Morgan is going Broadway.
Morgan was cast in the Broadway-bound production of the hit movie "Pure Country." She joins fellow singer Joe Nichols to headline the new musical that is expected to open on Broadway in early 2010. Nichols takes on the role of 'Rusty' (Dusty in the movie), made famous in the film by George Strait. Morgan will be Lula, Rusty's ruthless manager, which was created on film by Lesley Anne Warren.
"To have a country music star of her caliber sets the artistic bar high and brings additional authenticity to the show," said producer Randall L. Wreghitt. "The combination of Joe Nichols and Lorrie Morgan promises to be a dream collaboration for country music fans and for everyone who sees the show."
"I never thought my life's path would take me to Broadway, but when I heard they were creating a musical based on one of country music's best-loved films, I knew I had to be part of it," Morgan said. "I'm very excited about making my Broadway debut and becoming part of the theater community. I'm also looking forward to working with Joe Nichols. He's an amazing talent, and I hope country fans come on up to the big city to see us."
"Pure Country" is a book musical based on the 1992 film of the same name. The musical features an eclectic original score that draws on the sounds of new and classic country, Broadway and contemporary music.
Rusty is a country music superstar at the height of his career with all the high-stakes pressures that come with it. When the pressure takes its toll, he abandons his overblown concert tour, and his search to find himself - and the love he left behind - begins. The show is about the price of fame and one man's journey home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Costner feels "lucky to be alive" following deadly stage collapse
Monday, August 3, 2009 – Kevin Costner and Modern West escaped Saturday's deadly accident at a Canada country music fest, issuing a statement that he felt "how lucky we are to be alive."
Costner and his manager Nick Meinama were caught underneath the stage, which collapsed, but wiggled to safety. Neither was hurt. Costner's road manager and guitar player were hurt, but the ambulance and the paramedics took them immediately to the hospital, where they were treated and released several hours later after being banged up. Billy Currington was performing when the stage collapsed. He was slightly hurt, but released from the hospital. His bass player suffered more extensive injuries, severing an artery and nerves in his left arm.
In the wake of Saturday's tragic accident at the Big Valley Jamboree in Camrose, Alberta, it is difficult to know what to say," Costner said in a statement on his web site. "We would like to extend our warmest sympathy to the family and friends of Donna Moore, who was killed, as well as the family and friends of all those who were injured. Our prayers go out to you, and we wish with all our hearts that your loved ones' stories from the festival were filled only with fond memories of music and celebration."
"We would like to thank all of the Camrose and Edmonton rescue workers, who responded so valiantly and quickly in the midst of the chaos, as well as the superb staff and volunteers of St. Mary's Hospital in Camrose. Your efforts were amazing, and we owe you a debt of gratitude for our health and safety. We would also like to extend our love and support to our fellow musicians and crews at the festival Saturday, many of whom gathered with us later that night outside of our busses to share stories and attempt to make sense of the day's events. We are all aware of how lucky we are to be alive, and we are so thankful to be back with our families today. However, our thoughts will continue to be with the city of Camrose and the fans at the Big Valley Jamboree, and we sincerely hope for another opportunity to share music with you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Currington says he'll make full recovery following deadly concert accident
Monday, August 3, 2009 – Billy Currington issued a statement Monday afternoon in the wake of Saturday's accident at a festival near Edmonton, Canada that killed one fan, saying he would make a full recovery.
Due to severe storms and tornado weather activity on Saturday night, the stage at the Big Valley Jamboree music festival in Camrose, Alberta, Canada's largest country music festival, collapsed where singer Currington was performing. Currington was on the last song of his set when the wind blew the staging down on top of him and his band. Reports said a pole hit him in the head.
"Currington was taken to the hospital and suffered a minor concussion, but is expected to make a full recovery," said the statement from his label. "He has been released from the hospital and has returned to his home in Nashville."
Currington's bass player Alex Stevens was pinned under the wreckage of the stage for half an hour while rescue personnel removed debris to free him. Stevens underwent immediate surgery to repair a severed artery and nerves in his left arm and is currently receiving treatment in Nashville. The statement made no mention of his ability to play in the future.
Currington sent a message to his fans today via Twitter, "The boys and I are very grateful to be home and for life itself. We thank you for your prayers and concern and will see you on the road again soon."
"My heart goes out to the family of Donna Moore who was killed and all of the other fans who were hurt on Saturday," he said.
Currington was performing as part of a four-day festival. Sunday's final show, which was to be headlined by Tim McGraw, was cancelled.
Person killed in accident at country jamboree; Currington, Costner escape serious injury
Sunday, August 2, 2009 – One concert goer was killed at a country music festival in Canada after the stage collapsed with Billy Currington playing. The singer was unhurt, but at least 60 others were injured, including a member of his band.
The accident occurred at the Big Valley Jamboree in Edmonton, Canada. It was not clear who died.
The festival started July 30 and wax slated to end Sunday, but Sunday's performances were cancelled by the organizers. Tim McGraw was among the performers slated for Sunday. High winds and heavy rains led to the disaster, according to the promoter. News 800 AM's web site had more information about what happened. According to the web site, concert-goer Susan Noden described "the sky as kind of gotten blacken-greenish color. I thought there would just be a storm and some rain like any other time. I sat down, and the next thing I know, I'm being hit by flying chairs. There's a dust cloud. When the dust dimmed a little bit, I could see the stage was down. The girders that the crew had been working on just 10 minutes before, were snapped like toothpicks."
Singer Jessie Farrell said, "I finished my set, and then Billy Currington went up. He was on the last song, and the whole - we're in the dark right now because there's no power, thousands of people, in the trade center, in the dark, and we're all soaking wet - and his whole band - the whole stage collapsed on them and pieces started flying everywhere - poles started flying everywhere, they can't find their bass player, and Billy Currington was hit in the head with a pole."
Currington and his bass player were taken to the hospital.
Kevin Costner was at Big Valley Jamboree, but escaped injury. He did however escort others to the hospital.
**** Amy's Kitchen ****
Orange Sherbet Cake
1 (18.25 ounce) package Deluxe
Orange Supremem Cake Mix
1 (3 ounce) box orange-flavored
gelatin
2 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 cup water
1 (9 ounce) package frozen
coconut
1 (8 ounce) container sour cream
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup frozen orange juice container
1 (12 ounce) container frozen nondairy
whipped topping, thawed
Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease and flour 2 (9 inch) round cake pans. Set aside. In a mixing bowl, combine the cake mix, gelatin, eggs, oil, and water. Beat well with an electric mixer. Divide the batter among the prepared pans. Bake until a wooden toothpick inserted into the center of each cake comes out clean, about 25 to 30 minutes. Let the cake cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Remove to wire racks to cool completely. In a medium bowl, combine the coconut, sour cream, sugar, and orange juice concentrate for
the filling. Stir well. Cut the cake layers in half horizonally to make 4 layers. Spread the filling between the layers. Spread the whipped topping on top and the sides of the cake.
Melissa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diabetic Delight...
Pepper & Pineapple Pork Stew
4 whole loin lean pork chops, cut into 1-inch cubes
4 medium carrots, sliced
1/2 cup low sodium chicken broth
3 tbsp Sauce, teriyaki, light
1 tbsp cornstarch
8 oz Pineapple, chunks, with juice, canned, drained
and juice reserved
1 medium green bell peppers, seeded & cut into 1-inch pieces
1 Brown pork cubes in hot skillet.
2 Mix pork, carrots, broth, and teriyaki in a 3 1/2 quart slow
cooker, cover and cook on low for 7 to 8 hours.
3 Mix cornstarch with reserved pineapple juice and stir into
pork mixture.
4 Stir in pineapple and green pepper.
5 Cover and cook on high 15 minutes or until thickened and bubbly.
Makes 4 servings
Amount Per Serving Calories 249 Total Carbs 19.6g
Dietary Fiber 2.7g Sugars 12.6g Total Fat 6.6g
Saturated Fat 2.3g Unsaturated Fat 4.4g
Potassium 489.9mg Protein 26.3g
Sodium 505mg
Dietary Exchanges
1/2 Fat, 1/2 Fruit, 3 Meat, 1 1/4 Vegetable
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****A Parting Thought ****
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Last Call Y'ALL
I am strongly in favor of common sense common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Please
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally.
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Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
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Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
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<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=6><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000 size=2>The Funnies are strictly a
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<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=3><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>From Carlisle,Indiana<BR>U.S.A.<BR><FONT
color=#0000ff>Welcome to T</FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080 size=7><FONT face=Verdana><FONT size=3><STRONG><FONT
color=#0000ff>he Funnies<BR>est.7-4-2000
<BR><BR></FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT size=4><FONT size=5><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>These are <STRONG>clean jokes.</STRONG>
However,<BR>They are,<BR><STRONG>PG - Not intended for younger readers -
PG</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" color=#800000 size=6><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT
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face="Edwardian Script ITC" color=#800000 size=6><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT face=Arial
color=#000000><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000><STRONG>Tuesday August
4,2009</STRONG></FONT><BR><BR><STRONG>Today's country music video
:<BR><BR>A Country Boy Can Survive<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4s0nzsU1Wg&;feature=rec-HM-fresh+div"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4s0nzsU1Wg&;feature=rec-HM-fresh+div</FONT></A><BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT face=Arial size=3>
<H1><FONT color=#000000 size=3>Charlie Daniels - Late 70's - Long Haired Country
Boy<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs4y5si8DGs&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs4y5si8DGs&;feature=related</FONT></A></FONT></H1><FONT
color=#000000 size=2></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=2></FONT>
<H1><FONT color=#000000 size=3>This Ain't No Rag It's A Flag by Charlie
Daniels<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT4Wh1Eg3xM&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT4Wh1Eg3xM&;feature=related</FONT></A></FONT></H1>
<P align=center><FONT color=#000000 size=2></FONT><BR><STRONG><EM>Thought
For Today:</EM></STRONG><FONT color=#000000>My parents told me, "Finish
your dinner. People in China and India are starving." I tell my daughters,
"Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your
job." <STRONG><EM>
</EM></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><BR></P></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#0000ff size=3><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><FONT color=#0000ff size=3>
<P align=center><FONT color=#000000 size=2><BR><FONT color=#0000ff size=3>A
social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to the
Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new
territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. 'Anybody home?' she
asked.<BR><BR>'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.<BR><BR>'Is your father
there?' asked the social worker.<BR><BR>'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,'
said the kid.<BR><BR>'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker.
'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.<BR><BR>'But,'
protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'<BR><BR>'Sure,
but not here,' said the kid through the door. .......... 'This is the Outhouse!'
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT></FONT><BR>As my husband, the county highway
commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he
decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far.
Staring at his official-looking vehicle, one of the valets asked my husband if
he was driving a government car. "Why, yes," my husband replied, surprised by
the question. "In fact it's an unmarked police car."<BR><BR>"Wow" the young man
said, sliding behind the wheel. "This will be the first time I've been in the
front seat."<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>What's the definition of an 'Impotent
Loser'?<BR><BR>A guy who can't even get his hopes
up. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>After my wife and her former best buddy, another
Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite
coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone
bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since
we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they
call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to
confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the
contents.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>YOU KNOW NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU
IF...<BR><BR>When you were born, your father gave out old cigar
butts<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>19TH CENTURY JOKE...<BR><BR>A man passing down a
Chicago street finds a gentleman in the middle of the street buried up to his
shoulders in the mud. The man asks the gentleman, "Do you need help?" "No, thank
you," replies the gentleman. "I have a fine horse under
me." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>A prisoner was asked how he came to be
there.<BR><BR>“Want,” was the answer.<BR><BR>“What do you mean?”<BR><BR>“Well, I
wanted another man’s watch. He wasn’t willing I should have it, and the judge
wants me to stay here five years.” <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>In the
examination of a case for assault and battery, counsel, on cross-examining one
of the witnesses, asked him what they had at the first place they stopped? He
answered:<BR><BR>“Four glasses of ale.”<BR><BR>“What next?”<BR><BR>“Two glasses
of wine.”<BR><BR>“What next?”<BR><BR>“One glass of brandy.”<BR><BR>“What
next?”,<BR><BR>“A fight, of course.” <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>19TH
CENTURY WIT:<BR><BR>Sutherland Edwards has published a novel called "What is a
Girl to Do?" That depends somewhat. If she wants to climb over a fence, she is
to look cautiously in every direction, gather her skirts in one hand, then
change her mind and crawl under. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>While on
vacation, my wife and I stopped for lunch at a diner. We sat at the counter,
right next to the grill. The cook was a young man who was very busy flipping
pancakes. Every so often, he would stop and hit the grill with the handle of the
spatula. Finally I asked him facetiously, " Does that improve the taste of the
pancakes?"<BR><BR>"No," he replied, "That keeps the handle from falling
off." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>The bigger your head gets, the easier it
becomes to fill your shoes<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be
an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come
early.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Our 14-year-old grandson Ian, has always loved
our house. During <BR>one visit, he remarked about it again.<BR>"You know." I
said, "when Granddad and I are gone your dad will<BR>inherit this house. Maybe,
when you're older, you'll live here, <BR>yourself."<BR>"Oh, Grandma," he said,
looking around the living room, "that <BR>would be great! And I wouldn't change
a thing."<BR>I was feeling quite smug about my decor until Ian added, "I mean,
<BR>look at this stuff! It's just like they had on the Titanic!" <BR><FONT
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><FONT size=3>Because our husbands, both medical
students in their final years of internship, <BR>were on call for extended
periods, my friend and I were lamenting the fact that <BR>we were left alone
every fourth night with our young children. With a toddler <BR>and a newborn,
Allison was especially desperate for help on occasion. Even <BR>when her husband
was home, he was so exhausted that he never heard the <BR>children’s cries at
night. But she noticed that he always heard his pager when <BR>he was called for
an emergency at the hospital. So she did the obvious: When <BR>she needed his
assistance at night, she paged him. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Whether
the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not,<BR>Whether the weather
be cold, Or whether the weather be hot,<BR>We'll weather the weather
Whatever the weather<BR>Whether we like it or
not.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>While vacationing, we were stopped on the road
by a police officer for <BR>exceeding the posted speed limit. Trying to think of
some way out of the <BR>predicament, I said to the officer, "Do you realize how
much money we've <BR>spent in this area today?"<BR>"Well," replied the officer,
"you're about to spend a little more." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Keeping
our old farmhouse clean is a constant challenge. Muddy boots, <BR>socks embedded
with straw, dirt blowing through the windows, grandchildren, <BR>cats and dogs,
even the occasional newborn calf warming up on the porch all <BR>contribute to
my daily ritual of sweeping, shaking, vacuuming and washing.<BR>I thought I was
pretty neat and tidy until at work one day a colleague with <BR>no kids and no
pets complained about how dirty her house gets. "How bad <BR>can it be?" I
asked. "There are just the two of you living in a new house in <BR>the
city."<BR>"Well," she complained, "have you ever noticed how much dust flies
into the <BR>air when you pull a Kleenex out of the
box?" <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>After being housebound with a
newborn for a while, I was thankful one <BR>day to leave the baby with my
husband and get out for a walk. I bumped <BR>into an acquaintance, who commented
on how wonderful I looked. Aware<BR>that I was still carrying a lot of extra
weight, I thanked her. "No, really!"<BR>she insisted. "You look so good! Now-
how much longer? You must be<BR>nearly due!" <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>First
cave man to second cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never <BR>had such
unusual weather before they started using bows and
arrows." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>A woman came to the hospital to visit a
friend. She had not been in a <BR>hospital for several years and felt very
ignorant about all the new <BR>technology. A technician followed her onto the
elevator, wheeling a <BR>large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and
wires and dials. <BR>"Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she
said.<BR>"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor cleaning
machine." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT></FONT><BR><STRONG> </STRONG></P>
<DIV align=center><STRONG>Today's Links:</STRONG></DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG>*some links may have adult contents on
the same page, I have no control what</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG> else appears on the page. Clicker
beware!</STRONG></FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV></FONT>
<P align=center><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=2>Video Here's to you United
Airlines</FONT></P>
<DIV align=center><A
title=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BICs_Jokers_Wild/message/227528;_ylc=X3oDMTJzZTk2NThlBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE1BGdycElkAzg3NDE1NjkEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDQ3NzU0BG1zZ0lkAzIyNzUyOARzZWMDZG1zZwRzbGsDdm1zZwRzdGltZQMxMjQ3MTAzOTk4
href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BICs_Jokers_Wild/message/227528;_ylc=X3oDMTJzZTk2NThlBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE1BGdycElkAzg3NDE1NjkEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDQ3NzU0BG1zZ0lkAzIyNzUyOARzZWMDZG1zZwRzbGsDdm1zZwRzdGltZQMxMjQ3MTAzOTk4"><FONT
size=2>'United Breaks Guitars': Passenger Strikes Back With Song
</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>Dog driving a car and the reactions from people
watching.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2> </FONT><A
title=http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/dog-driving-a-car-funny-j4l.html
href="http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/dog-driving-a-car-funny-j4l.html"><FONT
size=2>http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/dog-driving-a-car-funny-j4l.html</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>How much sugar do you eat?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><A title=http://sugarstacks.com/
href="http://sugarstacks.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://sugarstacks.com/</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2> Culinary Café - Barbecue &
Grilling<BR></FONT><A title=http://www.culinarycafe.com/Barbeque.html
href="http://www.culinarycafe.com/Barbeque.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.culinary<WBR>cafe.com/<WBR>Barbeque.<WBR>html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Site is a classic movie fans dream. <BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.reelclassics.com/index.html
href="http://www.reelclassics.com/index.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.reelclassics.com/index.html</FONT></A><FONT size=2>
<BR></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2> Elephant Odyssey</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#0000ff size=2><A
title=http://www.elephantodyssey.com/
href="http://www.elephantodyssey.com/">http://www.elephant<WBR>odyssey.com/</A></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>Game Arkanoid</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>Hit the ball and try to shoot all the bricks out.
They will change colors<BR>before vanishing - you will see the whole rainbow;
the violet ones are the<BR>most hard to deal with, it will take seven strokes
to get one.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><A
title=http://junkplay.com/arcade-games/3-arcade-games/656-arkanoid.html
href="http://junkplay.com/arcade-games/3-arcade-games/656-arkanoid.html"><FONT
size=2>http://junkplay.com/arcade-games/3-arcade-games/656-arkanoid.html</FONT></A></DIV>
<P align=center></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=2></FONT><BR><FONT size=2>State
Fairs<BR></FONT><A href="http://www.weekendevent.com/statefairs.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.weekende<WBR>vent.com/<WBR>statefairs.<WBR>htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Wacky Gift Gallery Via Wesley<BR></FONT><A
href="http://xrl.in/2tm3"><FONT
size=2>http://xrl.in/<WBR>2tm3</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Corning Museum of
Glass -<BR></FONT><A href="http://www.cmog.org/dynamic.aspx?id=192"><FONT
size=2>http://www.cmog.<WBR>org/dynamic.<WBR>aspx?id=192</FONT></A><FONT size=2>
<BR><BR>The Loftcube Project Via Wesley<BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/49owl"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/49owl</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Spiderman @
Drive-Thru <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/Spiderman%202%20Drive-Thru.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>Spiderman%<WBR>202%20Drive-<WBR>Thru.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Support Group <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsjk5.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>dsjk5.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Swearing In <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfkljr5.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>sdfkljr5.<WBR>htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Talking Bird <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjl.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>kjl.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Tattoo Removal Service <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/khj.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos</FONT><WBR>chips.com/<WBR>khj.htm</A><BR><BR>A beauty
is a woman you notice. A charmer is one who notices you.<BR><BR>- Adlai E.
Stevenson <BR><FONT color=#000000
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><STRONG> </STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG>Please help, it won't cost ya a thing<BR>but it will
really feel good</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT> <FONT
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000
size=1><STRONG>Free Food For Homeless Dogs<BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT
color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><FONT
color=#ff00ff size=2><STRONG>Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know. <BR></STRONG></FONT><A href="http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/"
target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.thebreastcancersite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><FONT color=#008000
size=2><STRONG>Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation</STRONG></FONT><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><STRONG> <BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.organdonor.gov/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.organdonor.gov/</STRONG></FONT></A><STRONG> </STRONG><FONT
size=2><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#000000
size=3>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2><STRONG>The
band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks<BR>for
*each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies<BR>to
help find a cure for autism. </STRONG></FONT></FONT></SPAN><BR><FONT
color=#0000ff size=2><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214"><FONT
color=#0000ff
size=2><STRONG>http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214</STRONG></FONT></A></FONT><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2>About
Free Rice<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3>Free Rice is a sister site of the world
poverty site<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><A
href="http://www.freerice.com/about.html"><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3>http://www.freerice.com/about.html</FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3> </FONT><A href="http://www.poverty.com/"><FONT
size=3>Poverty.com</FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#ff00ff size=3><STRONG>No one
should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim<BR><FONT
color=#000000>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR></STRONG>WALKING ON
YOUR TOES...<BR><BR>The move commonly referred to as the moonwalk was originally
known as the backslide, or "walking on your toes." Similar steps are reported as
far back as 1932, used by Cab "Minnie the Moocher" Calloway.<BR><BR>It was first
recorded in 1955 in a performance by tap dancer Bill Bailey.<BR><BR>The French
mime artist, Marcel Marceau, used it throughout his career (from the 1940s
through the 1980s), as part of the drama of his mime routines. Marceau's famous
"Walking Against the Wind" routine was the original influence that Jackson drew
from, in which Marceau pretends to be pushed backwards by a gust of wind.
<BR></P></FONT><FONT color=#0000ff>
<P align=center><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3><STRONG>****Bill's Country
Calendar </STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#000000
size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG><FONT size=2><EM><FONT color=#ca1010>****This
Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission<BR>from the
original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****</FONT></EM><BR></P>
<P align=center>-4-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Carson Robison, singer/songwriter, born Oswego, KS 1890.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Frank Luther, recording artist, born Larkin, KS 1899.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Bill Cox, the "Dixie Songbird" born Kanawha County, WV 1897.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>James Blackwood born Ackerman, MS 1919.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Benny Sims bluegrass fiddler/session musician born 1924.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jimmie Rodgers recorded his first session for Ralph Peer, and
Victor Records in Bristol, TN in 1927.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Scotty Stoneman born Galax, VA 1932.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Vicki Hackerman, "Dave & Sugar," born Louisville, KY
1950.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>George Jones joined the Grand Ole Opry 1956.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jimmy C. Newman joined the Grand Ole Opry 1956</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Johnny Cash recorded "Doin' My Time" 1957.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Skeeter Davis joined the Grand Ole Opry 1959.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jack Taylor, age 60, "The Prarie Ramblers," died 1962.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Connie Smith won a talent contest in Columbus, OH, that
eventually led to stardom, 1963.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Fiddlin' Doc Roberts died in Madison Country, KY 1978.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ricky Skaggs and Sharon White were married 1981.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Tex Atchison, age 70, died in Collinsville, IL 1982.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The Judds' single "Mama He's Crazy" became their first #1 hit
1984.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Kenny Price, age 56, the "Round Mound of Sound" died from a
heart attack 1987.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Mercury released "The Complete Mercury Sessions" of Flatt &
Scruggs 1992.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Dolly Parton's album "Eagle When She Flies" certified platinum
1992.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Roy Carter, bass singer for "The Chuck Wagon Gang" died
1997.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P>The Notorious Cherry Bombs, Rodney Crowell's road band in the 80's, debuted
on The Tonight Show in 2004. The band included original members Rodney Crowell,
Tony Brown, Vince Gill, Hank DeVito and Richard Bennett.</P>
<P align=center></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><FONT size=2>Thanks
Bill<BR></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><A href="http://www.rockabillyhall.com/rcnv.html"><FONT
color=#000000 size=1><STRONG>Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News &
Views" Page</STRONG></FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#000000><STRONG><EM><FONT
size=2>Compiled by Bill Morrison -
billmorr-@hotmail.com</FONT></EM></STRONG></A><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><BR></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><FONT size=3><STRONG> <BR>**** Country Music News
</STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#008000 size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG>Lorrie Morgan goes Broadway<BR></STRONG>Tuesday, August 4, 2009 –
Lorrie Morgan is going Broadway. <BR>Morgan was cast in the Broadway-bound
production of the hit movie "Pure Country." She joins fellow singer Joe Nichols
to headline the new musical that is expected to open on Broadway in early 2010.
Nichols takes on the role of 'Rusty' (Dusty in the movie), made famous in the
film by George Strait. Morgan will be Lula, Rusty's ruthless manager, which was
created on film by Lesley Anne Warren.
</FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>"To have a country music star of
her caliber sets the artistic bar high and brings additional authenticity to the
show," said producer Randall L. Wreghitt. "The combination of Joe Nichols and
Lorrie Morgan promises to be a dream collaboration for country music fans and
for everyone who sees the show." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>"I never thought my life's path
would take me to Broadway, but when I heard they were creating a musical based
on one of country music's best-loved films, I knew I had to be part of it,"
Morgan said. "I'm very excited about making my Broadway debut and becoming part
of the theater community. I'm also looking forward to working with Joe Nichols.
He's an amazing talent, and I hope country fans come on up to the big city to
see us." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>"Pure Country" is a book musical
based on the 1992 film of the same name. The musical features an eclectic
original score that draws on the sounds of new and classic country, Broadway and
contemporary music. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>Rusty is a country music
superstar at the height of his career with all the high-stakes pressures that
come with it. When the pressure takes its toll, he abandons his overblown
concert tour, and his search to find himself - and the love he left behind -
begins. The show is about the price of fame and one man's journey
home.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Costner feels "lucky to be alive" following
deadly stage collapse<BR>Monday, August 3, 2009 – Kevin Costner and Modern West
escaped Saturday's deadly accident at a Canada country music fest, issuing a
statement that he felt "how lucky we are to be alive." <BR>Costner and his
manager Nick Meinama were caught underneath the stage, which collapsed, but
wiggled to safety. Neither was hurt. Costner's road manager and guitar player
were hurt, but the ambulance and the paramedics took them immediately to the
hospital, where they were treated and released several hours later after being
banged up. Billy Currington was performing when the stage collapsed. He was
slightly hurt, but released from the hospital. His bass player suffered more
extensive injuries, severing an artery and nerves in his left
arm. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>In the wake of Saturday's tragic
accident at the Big Valley Jamboree in Camrose, Alberta, it is difficult to know
what to say," Costner said in a statement on his web site. "We would like to
extend our warmest sympathy to the family and friends of Donna Moore, who was
killed, as well as the family and friends of all those who were injured. Our
prayers go out to you, and we wish with all our hearts that your loved ones'
stories from the festival were filled only with fond memories of music and
celebration." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>"We would like to thank all of
the Camrose and Edmonton rescue workers, who responded so valiantly and quickly
in the midst of the chaos, as well as the superb staff and volunteers of St.
Mary's Hospital in Camrose. Your efforts were amazing, and we owe you a debt of
gratitude for our health and safety. We would also like to extend our love and
support to our fellow musicians and crews at the festival Saturday, many of whom
gathered with us later that night outside of our busses to share stories and
attempt to make sense of the day's events. We are all aware of how lucky we are
to be alive, and we are so thankful to be back with our families today. However,
our thoughts will continue to be with the city of Camrose and the fans at the
Big Valley Jamboree, and we sincerely hope for another opportunity to share
music with you."<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Currington says he'll make full recovery
following deadly concert accident<BR>Monday, August 3, 2009 – Billy Currington
issued a statement Monday afternoon in the wake of Saturday's accident at a
festival near Edmonton, Canada that killed one fan, saying he would make a full
recovery. <BR>Due to severe storms and tornado weather activity on Saturday
night, the stage at the Big Valley Jamboree music festival in Camrose, Alberta,
Canada's largest country music festival, collapsed where singer Currington was
performing. Currington was on the last song of his set when the wind blew the
staging down on top of him and his band. Reports said a pole hit him in the
head. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>"Currington was taken to the
hospital and suffered a minor concussion, but is expected to make a full
recovery," said the statement from his label. "He has been released from the
hospital and has returned to his home in
Nashville." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>Currington's bass player Alex
Stevens was pinned under the wreckage of the stage for half an hour while rescue
personnel removed debris to free him. Stevens underwent immediate surgery to
repair a severed artery and nerves in his left arm and is currently receiving
treatment in Nashville. The statement made no mention of his ability to play in
the future. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>Currington sent a message to his
fans today via Twitter, "The boys and I are very grateful to be home and for
life itself. We thank you for your prayers and concern and will see you on the
road again soon." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>"My heart goes out to the family
of Donna Moore who was killed and all of the other fans who were hurt on
Saturday," he said. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>Currington was performing as part
of a four-day festival. Sunday's final show, which was to be headlined by Tim
McGraw, was cancelled.<BR>Person killed in accident at country jamboree;
Currington, Costner escape serious injury<BR>Sunday, August 2, 2009 – One
concert goer was killed at a country music festival in Canada after the stage
collapsed with Billy Currington playing. The singer was unhurt, but at least 60
others were injured, including a member of his band. <BR>The accident occurred
at the Big Valley Jamboree in Edmonton, Canada. It was not clear who
died. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>The festival started July 30 and
wax slated to end Sunday, but Sunday's performances were cancelled by the
organizers. Tim McGraw was among the performers slated for Sunday. High winds
and heavy rains led to the disaster, according to the promoter. News 800 AM's
web site had more information about what happened. According to the web site,
concert-goer Susan Noden described "the sky as kind of gotten blacken-greenish
color. I thought there would just be a storm and some rain like any other time.
I sat down, and the next thing I know, I'm being hit by flying chairs. There's a
dust cloud. When the dust dimmed a little bit, I could see the stage was down.
The girders that the crew had been working on just 10 minutes before, were
snapped like toothpicks." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>Singer Jessie Farrell said, "I
finished my set, and then Billy Currington went up. He was on the last song, and
the whole - we're in the dark right now because there's no power, thousands of
people, in the trade center, in the dark, and we're all soaking wet - and his
whole band - the whole stage collapsed on them and pieces started flying
everywhere - poles started flying everywhere, they can't find their bass player,
and Billy Currington was hit in the head with a
pole." </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=3>Currington and his bass player
were taken to the hospital.<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><FONT size=3>Kevin Costner was at Big Valley Jamboree, but escaped
injury. He did however escort others to the
hospital.<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><STRONG><BR></STRONG></FONT><BR><FONT size=3><FONT
color=#008000><STRONG>****</STRONG> <STRONG>Amy's Kitchen</STRONG>
<STRONG>****</STRONG> </FONT><BR>Orange Sherbet Cake<BR> <BR>1
(18.25 ounce) package Deluxe<BR> Orange Supremem Cake Mix<BR>1 (3
ounce) box orange-flavored<BR> gelatin<BR>2 eggs<BR>1/3 cup
vegetable oil<BR>1 cup water<BR>1 (9 ounce) package frozen<BR>
coconut<BR>1 (8 ounce) container sour cream<BR>2 cups sugar<BR>1/4 cup frozen
orange juice container<BR>1 (12 ounce) container frozen nondairy<BR>
whipped topping, thawed<BR> <BR>Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease and
flour 2 (9 inch) round cake pans. Set aside. In a mixing bowl,
combine the cake mix, gelatin, eggs, oil, and water. Beat well with an
electric mixer. Divide the batter among the prepared pans.
Bake until a wooden toothpick inserted into the center of each cake comes out
clean, about 25 to 30 minutes. Let the cake cool in the pans for 10
minutes. Remove to wire racks to cool completely. In a medium
bowl, combine the coconut, sour cream, sugar, and orange juice concentrate
for<BR>the filling. Stir well. Cut the cake layers in half
horizonally to make 4 layers. Spread the filling between the layers.
Spread the whipped topping on top and the sides of the cake.
<BR> <BR>Melissa<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></P>
<DIV>Diabetic Delight...</DIV>
<DIV> Pepper & Pineapple Pork Stew <BR><BR>4 whole loin lean pork
chops, cut into 1-inch cubes <BR>4 medium carrots, sliced <BR>1/2 cup low sodium
chicken broth <BR>3 tbsp Sauce, teriyaki, light <BR>1 tbsp cornstarch <BR>8 oz
Pineapple, chunks, with juice, canned, drained
<BR> and juice reserved <BR>1 medium
green bell peppers, seeded & cut into 1-inch pieces <BR><BR><BR>1 Brown pork
cubes in hot skillet. <BR>2 Mix pork, carrots, broth, and teriyaki in a 3 1/2
quart slow <BR>cooker, cover and cook on low for 7 to 8 hours. <BR>3 Mix
cornstarch with reserved pineapple juice and stir into <BR>pork mixture. <BR>4
Stir in pineapple and green pepper. <BR>5 Cover and cook on high 15 minutes or
until thickened and bubbly.<BR><BR>Makes 4 servings <BR>Amount Per Serving
Calories 249 Total Carbs 19.6g <BR>Dietary Fiber 2.7g Sugars 12.6g Total Fat
6.6g <BR>Saturated Fat 2.3g Unsaturated Fat 4.4g <BR>Potassium 489.9mg Protein
26.3g <BR>Sodium 505mg <BR>Dietary Exchanges<BR>1/2 Fat, 1/2 Fruit, 3 Meat, 1
1/4 Vegetable </DIV>
<P align=center><FONT size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><BR><STRONG><FONT
color=#008000>****A Parting Thought ****</FONT></STRONG><BR>There's a way of
transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage. <BR><BR><STRONG><FONT color=#008000>Last Call
Y'ALL</FONT></STRONG><BR></P></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#000000
size=3>I am strongly in favor of common sense common honesty and common decency.
This makes me forever ineligible for public office.<BR><BR> <BR></FONT><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#000000>Banning the bra was a big flop. </FONT><FONT
color=#0000ff><BR><STRONG>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+<BR></STRONG></FONT><STRONG><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>Hey, Let's be careful out
there<BR></FONT>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+</FONT><BR>Please<BR></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG>Don't take anything you see in the Funnies
personally. <BR>The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing
more.<BR>Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target
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game</FONT><BR>The Funnies are strictly an opt-in
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give our subscriber's <BR>addresses to anyone for any reason.</FONT> <BR>Our
features are intended to be for entertainment only.<BR></STRONG></DIV></DIV>
<DIV align=center></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><STRONG><FONT
color=#ff0033><FONT class=Verdana14>Disclaimer : </FONT></FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8 color=#000000>All of my materials are borrowed </FONT><FONT
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color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>and from my readers. All are
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subscribe, <BR></STRONG><FONT size=3><BR><STRONG>Regarding any problems In
accordance with the 2004 <BR>Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
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href="mailto:jim4-@verizon.net"><STRONG>jim4-@verizon.net</STRONG></A><FONT
color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><BR>Jim
Dowers<BR>P.O. Box 521 <BR>Carlisle, IN 47838-0521</FONT><FONT
color=#008080><BR><BR><FONT
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size=3><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>God Bless America , </FONT><FONT
color=#0000ff>Our Land</FONT></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#ff0000 size=3><STRONG>
, Forever May She Stand<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
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