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Welcome to The Funnies	Jim Dowers
	Sep 07, 2009 01:40 PDT

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The Funnies are strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM

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HAPPY LABOR DAY

From Carlisle,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000

These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG

Monday September 7,2009

Today's country music video :

John Anderson Swingin'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07_rnlBezQg&feature=fvw

John Anderson - Money In The Bank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZUx1RGUDXA&feature=related

JOHN ANDERSON Black Sheep Farm Aid2 1987
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iZOfAISyN8&feature=related

John Anderson - Seminole Wind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwG0yromS1c&feature=related

Yes folks, Youcan still buy GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC at
The Ernest Tubb Record Shops

Thought For Today: "For sale: Eight puppies from a
German shepherd and an Alaskan hussy."

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he
noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention
and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man
had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered "oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity',
'inter-steller
space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a
different tact. He returned and took a seat.

Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have?

"A Martini please."

Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started
discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to
expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a
stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??

This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, ................

"A-r-e? y-o-u-r? p-e-o-p-l-e??? h-a-p-p-y? w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: You can't fix Stupid

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than two..."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side. This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

IDIOT SIGHTINGS:

When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!

STAY ALERT! They walk among us.... they REPRODUCE..........

and they vote !
A little to late to stress that fact
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JUST IN ...

Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named...."CASH FOR CODGERS": and it works like this...

Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person.

The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale...Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel

sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to

keep other codgers in repair.

RUN, MY OLD FRIEND, RUN!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife

tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will

need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks,

"What did he say?"

The wife yells back to him,

"GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willard and his buddies were discussing an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, Willard had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him.

The following week when Willard's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Willard . He was already sitting at the campground with a fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go, Willard?"

"I didn't have to," Willard replied.

"Last night the ol' lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'."

"When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want!'

"So, HERE I AM!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We vote against raising taxes to pay for hospitals and
schools, but will pay whatever they ask for booze and
cigarettes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I�LL BE SHOPPING WITH YOU
By: Joseph J. Mazzella
 I heard a story today that found a warm place in my heart. I don�t know if it is true or not, but if it isn�t then it should be. It seems a mother was recently approached by her teenage daughter who asked for a new $160 piece of electronics equipment to replace her old one. Her old one by the way was only a year old and was working fine. The wise mom said she would think about it but first could her daughter help her with some errands that afternoon.
 That afternoon the mother and daughter climbed into their car and headed for the local grocery store. Once there the mom went straight to the bulk food section and started loading food in the carts. Soon two shopping carts were overflowing with bags of generic rice, sacks of potatoes, boxes of ramen noodles, cases of canned vegetables, jars of peanut butter and jelly, and loaves upon loaves of bread. Without a word the mom headed straight for the checkout lines, paid for the food, and loaded up the car. The daughter was curious but said nothing.
 The mom then drove in silence straight to a local food bank. Without a sound she started to carry in the groceries while her startled daughter helped. Soon both of them were filling up the empty shelves while the workers and needy families looked on. After a few seconds, however, both of them were showered with teary eyes, crushed with hugs, and thanked with more "God bless you�s" than the daughter had ever heard before. As they were driving home the mom finally smiled and handed her daughter the receipt for the groceries. The total was $162 and change. "That is what $160 is really worth", the mom said. "Now next week we can buy you that gadget you want or we can make another trip to shop for the food bank that helped keep us alive and together when you were just a baby. It�s up to you."
 The daughter smiled and with tears in her eyes said, "I�ll be shopping with you, Mom!"

Today's Links:
*some links may have adult contents on the same page, I have no control what
else appears on the page. Clicker beware!
Video Challenge! Can you watch this whole clip and not laugh?

http://thefunnypage.com/95/

The Original Farmer's Almanac
http://www.almanac.com/

Home Remedies
http://www.home-remedies-for-you.com/

Military Pay Charts
http://www.navytimes.com/projects/money/pay_charts/2009/basic/0_20/

Instant Word Search
http://www.instantwordsearch.com/

Changing the world one gift at a time
http://www.freecycle.org/

Game How Fast Are Your Reactions?
click the tranquilizer button when you see a sheep running.
http://junkplay.com/skill-games/8-skill-games/762-are-you-fast-enough.htmlSamantha Swift & the

Golden Touch
http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8"> Here </a>

Farm Frenzy Game
http://tinyurl.com/cn3den
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/cn3den"> Here </a>

Celery is Evil
http://tinyurl.com/n6x4dd
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/n6x4dd"> Here </a>

Castle Clout: Return of the King
http://tinyurl.com/nj9sf5
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/nj9sf5"> Here </a>

Farm Frenzy Pizza Party
http://tinyurl.com/q4n97r
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/q4n97r"> Here </a>

Madagascar Penguins
http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk"> Here </a>

Nanny Mania 2
http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w"> Here </a>

Table Soccer Skills
http://tinyurl.com/5c2ghb
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/5c2ghb"> Here </a>

Super Target Shooting
http://tinyurl.com/odk9p5
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/odk9p5"> Here </a>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison � ****

-5-

John Stewart, singer/songwriter, born San Diego, Ca. 1939.

Wally Fowler rejoined the Grand Ole Opry 1945.

Songwriters Felice "Scaduto," and Boudleaux Bryant, were married in Newport, KY 1945.

Jamie Oldaker "The Tractors," born Centerville, UT 1951.

The Country Music Association was chartered by the State of Tennessee, 1958.

Ferlin Husky's "Wings Of A Dove," charted 1960.

Skeeter Davis' single "(I Can't Help You) I'm Falling Too" charted 1960.

Patsy Cline recorded "Leavin' On Your Mind," 1962.

Curley Williams, age 56, singer/songwriter died 1970.

Milt Mabie, age 73, of "Louise Massey & the Westerners" died 1973.

Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" was certified gold 1975.

Amy Grant's "Unguarded," certified gold 1985.

Dwight Yoakam's album "Guitars, Cadillacs," peaked at #4 1986.

Vine Gill's single "I Still Believe In You" topped the charts 1992.

Curb Records released the Bellamy Brothers "Greatest Hits, Vol. 2" 1995.

Tim McGraw's single "Live Like You Were Dyin'," was #1 2004.

-6-

Clarence Cronic, singer/guitarist, of "Smith's Sacred Singers" born 1902.

Zeke Clements born Warrior, AL 1911.

Buzz Busby born Eros, LA 1933.

David Allan Coe, singer/songwriter/guitarist, born Akron, OH 1939.

John Herald born "John Whittier Sirabian, of "The Greenbriar Boys" born NYC 1939.

Mel McDaniel born Checotah, OK 1942.

Steve "Buddy" Miller, guitarist/singer/songwriter, born Fairborn, OH 1952.

Johnny Cash's "I Walk The Line" topped the charts 1956.

Joe Smyth "Sawyer Brown," born Portland, ME 1957.

Sylvia Kirby Allen born Kokomo, IN 1957.

Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be A Redneck If�" born Hapeville, GA 1958.

Mark Chestnut born Beaumont, TX 1963.

Don Gibson's "Woman, Sensuous Woman" was # 1 in 1972.

Ernest Tubb died in Nashville, TN 1984. Inducted CMHF 1965, NSHF 1970 and the Texas CMHF 1999.

Autry Inman, age 59, died 1988.

Roy Huskey Jr., age 41, session bassist, died of cancer 1997. Junior Huskey was a master musician.

Martina McBride, Jamie O'Neal, Chely Wright and Pam Tillis, performed to a sold out audience at Nashville's Ryman Auditorium in 2002.

Robert Reynolds of the Mavericks married wife Angie 2003.

Trace Adkins sang the National Anthem at Louisiana Tech University's football game 2004. Trace once played linebacker for the team while studying petroleum engineering, and cussing.

-7-

Charles Hardin Holley, "Buddy Holly," born Lubbock, TX 1936. Inducted R&RHF 1986, NSHF

1994.

Ronnie Dove born Herndon, VA 1940.

Craig Bickhardt, songwriter/session musician, born Philadelphia, PA 1954.

Eddy Arnold's "I'm Throwing Rice (At The Girl I Love)" topped the charts 1949.

Elvis Presley's "Teddy Bear" was #1 in 1957.

Warner Mack's "The Bridge Washed Out" topped the charts 1965.

Mac Davis' #1 hit "Stop And Smell The Roses" charted 1974.

Hubert Long died 1972. Inducted CMHF 1979.

Waylon Jennings "Greatest Hits" album certified platinum 1979.

Mercury Records released Vassar Clements' album "Vassar Clements" 1975.

Reba McEntire released her album "The Last One To Know" 1987.

Don Williams' "Back In My Younger Days," enter the charts at #1 in 1990.

A&M released John Hiatt's album "Perfectly Good Guitar" 1993.

Sara Evans' "I Keep Looking" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 chart 2002.

Terri Clarks single "Girls Lie Too" went to #1 in 2004.

L. E. White, age 74, singer/musician/songwriter, died Hendersonville, TN 2004.

-8-

Jimmie Rodgers born Meridian, MS 1897. Inducted CMHF 1961, NSHF 1970.The "Singing Brakeman," was the first person to be inducted into the CMHF.

Milton Brown, Western Swing bandleader/singer, born Stephenville, TX 1903.

Harlan Howard, "The Dean of Songwriters," born Detroit, MI 1927.

Patsy Cline born "Virginia Patterson Hensley," Winchester, VA 1932. Inducted CMHF 1973.

Buck Owens played lead guitar on Tommy Collins first recording session, at Capitol Records Melrose Avenue Studios, in Los Angeles 1953. The first song recorded was "You Better Not Do That." The single became Collin's first hit, reaching No. 2 on the charts.

George Morgan released "Candy Kisses," for Columbia Records 1958.

Hank Garland seriously injured in a car wreck near Springfield, TN 1961.

Jo Ann Campbell's single "I'm The Girl On Wolverton Mountain" charted 1962.

The movie "Forty Acre Feud" starring several Music City artists, including Bill Anderson, Minnie Pearl and George Jones premiered in Nashville 1965.

Neko Case, singer/songwriter, born Alexandria, VA 1970.

Kenny Rogers' "Love Will Turn You Around" topped the charts 1982.

Dick Heard, age 61, died from cancer in 1998. Heard wrote, "Abigal Beecher, My History Teacher," and co-wrote "Kentucky Rain" with Eddie Rabbitt.

Shania Twain won four awards from the Canadian Country Music Association 2003.

Loretta Lynn's latest book "You're Cookin' It Country" was released 2004.

The International Bluegrass Music Association's "Bluegrass Fan Fest" was held in Louisville, KY 2004.

Thanks Bill
Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorr-@hotmail.com

**** Country Music News ****

Del McCoury readies new CD
Friday, September 4, 2009 � Del McCoury may have released a retrospective, the "Celebrating 50 Years Of Del McCoury" boxed set, but he's not done for the year. "Family Circle" is dropping Oct. 27.
Recorded this summer at sessions sandwiched between appearances at Merlefest, Bonnaroo, Grey Fox and McCoury's own Delfest, "Family Circle" finds McCoury recorded with sons Ronnie and Rob, fiddler Jason Carter and bass player Alan Bartram.

Writers like Billy Smith and Shawn Camp are back with new entries, along with Californian Joe New. McCoury revives pop classic I Remember You (learned from country singer Slim Whitman's version) and goes to his roots with Sweet Appalachia (from West Virginia's Alan Johnston) and Revenuer's Blues, written by Rob McCoury and long-time buddy Ronnie Bowman. Jim Lauderdale, Verlon Thompson and Buddy and Julie Miller - McCoury covers Does My Ring Burn Your Finger - and Dire Straits' Mark Knopfler and a dash of rockabilly with the Charlie Rich-penned Jerry Lee Lewis number, Break Up also are included.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
George Jones teams up with Cracker Barrel
Friday, September 4, 2009 � George Jones teamed up with Cracker Barrel to release a new CD this week. "A Collection Of My Best Recollection" contains 10 Jones hits plus 2 previously unreleased songs, I Don't Want To Know and I'm A Long Gone Daddy.
Jones is set to Sept. 11 will perform on NBC's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. A live interview and performance on the Fox News Huckabee show is slated for Saturday, Sept. 12. Jones also has scheduled interviews for CBS affiliates, Fox Entertainment and Sirius/XM Radio. A collaboration between George Jones and Cracker Barrel Old Country Store , the album is in celebration of Cracker Barrel's 40th anniversary. It is available exclusively at all Cracker Barrel locations.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
McEntire hits the TV circuit
Thursday, September 3, 2009 � Reba McEntire is hitting the TV circuit to support her new best selling CD,"Keep On Loving You," her first solo CD in six years.
She has a new single, Consider Me Gone, now in the Top 35 this week on the Billboard chart.

McEntire goes to Los Angeles next week for a series of media appearances beginning with a full band performance on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien on Wednesday, Sept. 9.

McEntire is the focus of an A&E Biography premiering the next day on A&E Biography Channel at 10 p.m. Eastern/ 9 p.m. Central on Thursday, Sept. 10.

She will join Craig Ferguson as his lead couch guest as well as for a full band performance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on Tuesday, Sept. 15.

McEntire will also be with comedian Bonnie Hunt on her syndicated talk-variety show The Bonnie Hunt Show on Tuesday, Sept. 15.

**** Amy's Kitchen ****

Baked Apple Upside Down French Toast

Description
This french toast recipe is fantastic because it tastes like a combination
of a simple french toast recipe and the best apple pie recipe. Make this
french toast recipe using french bread today.
Serves: 8
Ingredients
3 pound Granny Smith apples, peeled quartered and thinly sliced
6 tablespoon butter
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
8 slices French bread, sliced 3/4 inch thick
7 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg, freshly grated
1 cup milk
1/2 cup heavy cream
Instructions
Melt butter in large saut� pan and add sliced apples. Top apples with sugar
and cinnamon and stir to incorporate. Saut� over medium heat until apples
are limp and translucent, about 10 minutes, stirring so they don�t scorch.

Pour apples into 9 x 13� glass oven proof baking dish. Top with sliced
French bread. Fill any spaces with small pieces of sliced bread so that
entire surface is covered.

Whisk eggs with vanilla, nutmeg, milk and cream. Pour this mixture over the
bread evenly so that all pieces absorb the liquid. Cover with plastic wrap
and refrigerate until morning.

The next morning, pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees F. Bake French toast for
25 minutes or until bread is golden and custard is set.

Invert carefully onto a sheet pan and cut into squares to serve, apple side up. You may add the syrup of your choice and a dollop of cr�me fraiche.

****A Parting Thought ****
I can lie convincingly about my age because at my age I can't always
remember what it is.

Last Call Y'ALL

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel "pick up

Your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the

Promised Land".

Nearly 75 years ago, FDR said, "Pick up your shovels, get off your

Asses, and light up a camel, this is the Promised Land."

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of

Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land.

We need change.
Too late now

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Please
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally.
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
Everyone is fair game
The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.
We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscriber's
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Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.

Disclaimer : All of my materials are borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which ever you prefer.
~
To subscribe,

Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
comments at: jim4-@verizon.net

Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
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</DIV>
<DIV align=center>The Funnies are strictly a
DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM 
<HR>
HAPPY LABOR
DAY <IMG alt="" hspace=0
src="cid:16946E8630D94541A753123224787BB5@BESSIE4" align=baseline
border=0> </DIV>
<DIV align=center>From Carlisle,Indiana U.S.A. Welcome to The Funnies est.7-4-2000
 These are clean jokes.
However, They are, PG - Not intended for younger readers -
PG </DIV>
Monday
September 7,2009 Today's country
music video
: 
<H1>
<H1><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cELNho6_Rw&;feature=related"></A></H1></H1>
John Anderson Swingin' <A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07_rnlBezQg&;feature=fvw">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07_rnlBezQg&;feature=fvw</A> John
Anderson - Money In The Bank <A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZUx1RGUDXA&;feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZUx1RGUDXA&;feature=related</A> 
JOHN ANDERSON Black Sheep Farm Aid2
1987 <A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iZOfAISyN8&;feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iZOfAISyN8&;feature=related</A>
John Anderson - Seminole Wind <A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwG0yromS1c&;feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwG0yromS1c&;feature=related</A> Yes
folks, Youcan still buy GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC at The Ernest Tubb Record
Shops 
 Thought
For Today: "For sale: Eight puppies from a German shepherd and
an Alaskan hussy." A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a
stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to
attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought
a moment then replied, "A martini please." The robot clicked a
couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever
had. The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?" The
man answered "oh, about 164." The robot then proceeded to discuss
the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest
medical break throughs', etc....... The man was most impressed. He
left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took
a seat.
Again the robot clicked and asked
what he would have?
"A Martini
please." Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your
IQ sir?" This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot
started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what
to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend. The guy had to try it
one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and
the question, "What is your IQ?"?? This time the man drawled out
"Uh..... bout 50". The robot clicked then leaned close and very
slowly asked, ................ "A-r-e? y-o-u-r?
p-e-o-p-l-e??? h-a-p-p-y? w-i-t-h
O-B-A-M-A????? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Subject: You can't fix Stupid





IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The
Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
'large'enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had
the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and
said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than
1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than two..."

We haven't used Sears repair since.




IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the
McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25,
so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said,
"Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed
and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he
handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of
thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.




IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had
a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are
being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be
crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS . 



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City 



IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the
gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we
ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala. 



IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's
safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that
it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS




IDIOT SIGHTING:

We were having a good-bye luncheon for an
old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our
manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not
another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. 



IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her
power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand
why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's
office, no less. 



IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an
automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked
in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly
to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey,"
I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got
that side. This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS 



IDIOT SIGHTINGS:

When I left Hawaii and was transferred to
Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from
Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you
drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the
Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"! 

STAY ALERT! They walk among us.... they
REPRODUCE.......... 

and they vote ! A little to late to stress that
fact ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JUST IN ... 

Democrats, realizing the success of
the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major
portion of their National Health Care Plan. 

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and
Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news
conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal
which is named...."CASH FOR CODGERS": and it works like this...
Couples wishing to access health care
funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in
one old person. 
The amount the government grants them
will be fixed according to a sliding scale...Older and more prescription
dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts. 

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for
those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers,
persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the
Republican Party. 

Smaller bonuses will be given for
codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk,
dairy products, bacon, Brussel 
sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.


All codgers will be rendered totally
useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold
or their body parts harvested to 
keep other codgers in
repair. 


RUN, MY OLD FRIEND,
RUN!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A senior citizen goes in
for his yearly physical with his wife 
tagging along. 

When the doctor enters the
examination room he says, "I will 
need a urine sample, a stool sample,
and a sperm sample." 

The man, being hard of hearing, turns
to his wife and asks, 
"What did he say?" 

The wife yells back to him,



"GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR"
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Willard and his buddies were discussing an
upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, Willard had to tell them that he couldn't
go this time because his wife wouldn't let him.

The following week when Willard's buddies
arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Willard . He was
already sitting at the campground with a fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire
glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting
you go, Willard?"

"I didn't have to," Willard
replied.

"Last night the ol' lady snuck up behind me
and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'."

"When I peeled her hands back she was
standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into
the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want!'

"So, HERE I AM!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We vote against raising taxes to pay for hospitals
and schools, but will pay whatever they ask for booze and
 cigarettes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I�LL BE SHOPPING WITH YOU By: Joseph J.
Mazzella I heard a story today that found a warm
place in my heart. I don�t know if it is true or not, but if it isn�t then it
should be. It seems a mother was recently approached by her teenage daughter who
asked for a new $160 piece of electronics equipment to replace her old one. Her
old one by the way was only a year old and was working fine. The wise mom said
she would think about it but first could her daughter help her with some errands
that afternoon. That afternoon the mother and
daughter climbed into their car and headed for the local grocery store. Once
there the mom went straight to the bulk food section and started loading food in
the carts. Soon two shopping carts were overflowing with bags of generic rice,
sacks of potatoes, boxes of ramen noodles, cases of canned vegetables, jars of
peanut butter and jelly, and loaves upon loaves of bread. Without a word the mom
headed straight for the checkout lines, paid for the food, and loaded up the
car. The daughter was curious but said nothing.
 The mom then drove in silence straight to a local
food bank. Without a sound she started to carry in the groceries while her
startled daughter helped. Soon both of them were filling up the empty shelves
while the workers and needy families looked on. After a few seconds, however,
both of them were showered with teary eyes, crushed with hugs, and thanked with
more "God bless you�s" than the daughter had ever heard before. As they were
driving home the mom finally smiled and handed her daughter the receipt for the
groceries. The total was $162 and change. "That is what $160 is really worth",
the mom said. "Now next week we can buy you that gadget you want or we can make
another trip to shop for the food bank that helped keep us alive and together
when you were just a baby. It�s up to you." The
daughter smiled and with tears in her eyes said, "I�ll be shopping with you,
Mom!"
<DIV align=center>Today's Links:</DIV>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV>*some links may have adult contents on
the same page, I have no control what</DIV>
<DIV> else appears on the page. Clicker
beware!</DIV></DIV>
Video Challenge! Can you watch this whole clip and
not laugh?
<DIV align=center><A title=http://thefunnypage.com/95/
href="http://thefunnypage.com/95/">http://thefunnypage.com/95/</A></DIV>
<DIV align=center> </DIV>
<DIV align=center>The Original Farmer's Almanac <A
title=http://www.almanac.com/ href="http://www.almanac.com/">http://www.almanac.com/</A> Home
Remedies <A title=http://www.home-remedies-for-you.com/
href="http://www.home-remedies-for-you.com/">http://www.home-remedies-for-you.com/</A> Military Pay Charts <A
title=http://www.navytimes.com/projects/money/pay_charts/2009/basic/0_20/
href="http://www.navytimes.com/projects/money/pay_charts/2009/basic/0_20/">http://www.navytimes.com/projects/money/pay_charts/2009/basic/0_20/</A></DIV>
<DIV align=center> </DIV>
<DIV align=center>Instant Word Search</DIV>
<DIV align=center><A
title=http://www.instantwordsearch.com/
href="http://www.instantwordsearch.com/">http://www.instantwordsearch.com/</A></DIV>
<DIV align=center> </DIV>
<DIV>Changing the world one gift at a time</DIV>
<DIV><A title=http://www.freecycle.org/ href="http://www.freecycle.org/">http://www.freecycle.org/</A></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Game How Fast Are Your Reactions?</DIV>
<DIV>click the tranquilizer button when you see a sheep
running.</DIV>
<DIV><A
title=http://junkplay.com/skill-games/8-skill-games/762-are-you-fast-enough.html
href="http://junkplay.com/skill-games/8-skill-games/762-are-you-fast-enough.html">http://junkplay.com/skill-games/8-skill-games/762-are-you-fast-enough.html</A>Samantha Swift & the Golden Touch <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8">http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8">http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8</A>"> Here
</a> Farm Frenzy Game <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/cn3den">http://tinyurl.com/cn3den</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/cn3den">http://tinyurl.com/cn3den</A>"> Here
</a> Celery is Evil <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/n6x4dd">http://tinyurl.com/n6x4dd</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/n6x4dd">http://tinyurl.com/n6x4dd</A>"> Here
</a> Castle Clout: Return of the King <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/nj9sf5">http://tinyurl.com/nj9sf5</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/nj9sf5">http://tinyurl.com/nj9sf5</A>"> Here
</a> Farm Frenzy Pizza Party <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/q4n97r">http://tinyurl.com/q4n97r</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/q4n97r">http://tinyurl.com/q4n97r</A>"> Here
</a> Madagascar Penguins <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk">http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk">http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk</A>"> Here
</a> Nanny Mania 2
 <A href="http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w">http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w">http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w</A>"> Here
</a> Table Soccer Skills <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/5c2ghb">http://tinyurl.com/5c2ghb</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/5c2ghb">http://tinyurl.com/5c2ghb</A>"> Here
</a> Super Target Shooting <A
href="http://tinyurl.com/odk9p5">http://tinyurl.com/odk9p5</A> <a
href="<A href="http://tinyurl.com/odk9p5">http://tinyurl.com/odk9p5</A>"> Here
</a> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </DIV>
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing but it will
really feel good ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free Food For Homeless Dogs <A
href="http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/" target=_blank rel=nofollow>http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com</A> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know. <A href="http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/"
target=_blank rel=nofollow>http://www.thebreastcancersite.com</A> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation <A
href="http://www.organdonor.gov/" target=_blank rel=nofollow>http://www.organdonor.gov/</A> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The
band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks for
*each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to
help find a cure for autism. <A
href="http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214">http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214</A> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ About
Free Rice Free Rice is a sister site of the world
poverty site <A
href="http://www.freerice.com/about.html">http://www.freerice.com/about.html</A> <A href="http://www.poverty.com/">Poverty.com</A> No one
should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 ****Bill's Country
Calendar **** ****This
Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission from
the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison �
**** 
-5-



John Stewart, singer/songwriter, born San Diego, Ca. 1939.



Wally Fowler rejoined the Grand Ole Opry 1945.



Songwriters Felice "Scaduto," and Boudleaux Bryant, were married
in Newport, KY 1945.



Jamie Oldaker "The Tractors," born Centerville, UT 1951.



The Country Music Association was chartered by the State of
Tennessee, 1958.



Ferlin Husky's "Wings Of A Dove," charted 1960.



Skeeter Davis' single "(I Can't Help You) I'm Falling Too"
charted 1960. 



Patsy Cline recorded "Leavin' On Your Mind," 1962.



Curley Williams, age 56, singer/songwriter died 1970.



Milt Mabie, age 73, of "Louise Massey & the Westerners" died
1973.



Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" was certified gold 1975.



Amy Grant's "Unguarded," certified gold 1985.



Dwight Yoakam's album "Guitars, Cadillacs," peaked at #4
1986.



Vine Gill's single "I Still Believe In You" topped the charts
1992.



Curb Records released the Bellamy Brothers "Greatest Hits, Vol.
2" 1995.



Tim McGraw's single "Live Like You Were Dyin'," was #1 2004.



-6-



Clarence Cronic, singer/guitarist, of "Smith's Sacred Singers"
born 1902.



Zeke Clements born Warrior, AL 1911.



Buzz Busby born Eros, LA 1933.



David Allan Coe, singer/songwriter/guitarist, born Akron, OH
1939.



John Herald born "John Whittier Sirabian, of "The Greenbriar
Boys" born NYC 1939.



Mel McDaniel born Checotah, OK 1942.



Steve "Buddy" Miller, guitarist/singer/songwriter, born
Fairborn, OH 1952.



Johnny Cash's "I Walk The Line" topped the charts 1956.



Joe Smyth "Sawyer Brown," born Portland, ME 1957.



Sylvia Kirby Allen born Kokomo, IN 1957.



Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be A Redneck If�" born Hapeville, GA
1958.



Mark Chestnut born Beaumont, TX 1963.



Don Gibson's "Woman, Sensuous Woman" was # 1 in 1972.



Ernest Tubb died in Nashville, TN 1984. Inducted CMHF 1965, NSHF
1970 and the Texas CMHF 1999.



Autry Inman, age 59, died 1988. 



Roy Huskey Jr., age 41, session bassist, died of cancer 1997.
Junior Huskey was a master musician.



Martina McBride, Jamie O'Neal, Chely Wright and Pam Tillis,
performed to a sold out audience at Nashville's Ryman Auditorium in 2002.



Robert Reynolds of the Mavericks married wife Angie 2003.



Trace Adkins sang the National Anthem at Louisiana Tech
University's football game 2004. Trace once played linebacker for the team while
studying petroleum engineering, and cussing.



-7-



Charles Hardin Holley, "Buddy Holly," born Lubbock, TX 1936.
Inducted R&RHF 1986, NSHF

1994.



Ronnie Dove born Herndon, VA 1940.



Craig Bickhardt, songwriter/session musician, born Philadelphia,
PA 1954.



Eddy Arnold's "I'm Throwing Rice (At The Girl I Love)" topped
the charts 1949.



Elvis Presley's "Teddy Bear" was #1 in 1957.



Warner Mack's "The Bridge Washed Out" topped the charts
1965.



Mac Davis' #1 hit "Stop And Smell The Roses" charted 1974.



Hubert Long died 1972. Inducted CMHF 1979.



Waylon Jennings "Greatest Hits" album certified platinum
1979.



Mercury Records released Vassar Clements' album "Vassar
Clements" 1975.



Reba McEntire released her album "The Last One To Know"
1987.



Don Williams' "Back In My Younger Days," enter the charts at #1
in 1990.



A&M released John Hiatt's album "Perfectly Good Guitar"
1993.



Sara Evans' "I Keep Looking" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 chart
2002.



Terri Clarks single "Girls Lie Too" went to #1 in 2004.



L. E. White, age 74, singer/musician/songwriter, died
Hendersonville, TN 2004.



-8-



Jimmie Rodgers born Meridian, MS 1897. Inducted CMHF 1961, NSHF
1970.The "Singing Brakeman," was the first person to be inducted into the
CMHF.



Milton Brown, Western Swing bandleader/singer, born
Stephenville, TX 1903.



Harlan Howard, "The Dean of Songwriters," born Detroit, MI
1927.



Patsy Cline born "Virginia Patterson Hensley," Winchester, VA
1932. Inducted CMHF 1973.



Buck Owens played lead guitar on Tommy Collins first recording
session, at Capitol Records Melrose Avenue Studios, in Los Angeles 1953. The
first song recorded was "You Better Not Do That." The single became Collin's
first hit, reaching No. 2 on the charts.



George Morgan released "Candy Kisses," for Columbia Records
1958.



Hank Garland seriously injured in a car wreck near Springfield,
TN 1961.



Jo Ann Campbell's single "I'm The Girl On Wolverton Mountain"
charted 1962.



The movie "Forty Acre Feud" starring several Music City artists,
including Bill Anderson, Minnie Pearl and George Jones premiered in Nashville
1965.



Neko Case, singer/songwriter, born Alexandria, VA 1970.



Kenny Rogers' "Love Will Turn You Around" topped the charts
1982. 



Dick Heard, age 61, died from cancer in 1998. Heard wrote,
"Abigal Beecher, My History Teacher," and co-wrote "Kentucky Rain" with Eddie
Rabbitt.



Shania Twain won four awards from the Canadian Country Music
Association 2003.



Loretta Lynn's latest book "You're Cookin' It Country" was
released 2004.



The International Bluegrass Music Association's "Bluegrass Fan Fest" was held
in Louisville, KY 2004.
 Thanks Bill <A
href="http://www.rockabillyhall.com/rcnv.html">Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views"
Page</A> Compiled by Bill Morrison -
billmorr-@hotmail.com</A> **** Country Music News
**** 
Del McCoury readies new CD Friday, September 4,
2009 � Del McCoury may have released a retrospective, the "Celebrating 50 Years
Of Del McCoury" boxed set, but he's not done for the year. "Family Circle" is
dropping Oct. 27. Recorded this summer at sessions sandwiched between
appearances at Merlefest, Bonnaroo, Grey Fox and McCoury's own Delfest, "Family
Circle" finds McCoury recorded with sons Ronnie and Rob, fiddler Jason Carter
and bass player Alan Bartram. 
Writers like Billy Smith and Shawn Camp are back
with new entries, along with Californian Joe New. McCoury revives pop classic I
Remember You (learned from country singer Slim Whitman's version) and goes to
his roots with Sweet Appalachia (from West Virginia's Alan Johnston) and
Revenuer's Blues, written by Rob McCoury and long-time buddy Ronnie Bowman. Jim
Lauderdale, Verlon Thompson and Buddy and Julie Miller - McCoury covers Does My
Ring Burn Your Finger - and Dire Straits' Mark Knopfler and a dash of rockabilly
with the Charlie Rich-penned Jerry Lee Lewis number, Break Up also are
included. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ George Jones teams up with Cracker
Barrel Friday, September 4, 2009 � George Jones teamed up with Cracker Barrel
to release a new CD this week. "A Collection Of My Best Recollection" contains
10 Jones hits plus 2 previously unreleased songs, I Don't Want To Know and I'm A
Long Gone Daddy. Jones is set to Sept. 11 will perform on NBC's Late Night
with Jimmy Fallon. A live interview and performance on the Fox News Huckabee
show is slated for Saturday, Sept. 12. Jones also has scheduled interviews for
CBS affiliates, Fox Entertainment and Sirius/XM Radio. A collaboration between
George Jones and Cracker Barrel Old Country Store , the album is in celebration
of Cracker Barrel's 40th anniversary. It is available exclusively at all Cracker
Barrel locations. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ McEntire hits the TV
circuit Thursday, September 3, 2009 � Reba McEntire is hitting the TV circuit
to support her new best selling CD,"Keep On Loving You," her first solo CD in
six years. She has a new single, Consider Me Gone, now in the Top 35 this
week on the Billboard chart. 
McEntire goes to Los Angeles next week for a series
of media appearances beginning with a full band performance on The Tonight Show
with Conan O'Brien on Wednesday, Sept. 9. 
McEntire is the focus of an A&E Biography
premiering the next day on A&E Biography Channel at 10 p.m. Eastern/ 9 p.m.
Central on Thursday, Sept. 10. 
She will join Craig Ferguson as his lead couch
guest as well as for a full band performance on The Late Late Show with Craig
Ferguson on Tuesday, Sept. 15. 
McEntire will also be with comedian Bonnie Hunt on
her syndicated talk-variety show The Bonnie Hunt Show on Tuesday, Sept.
15. 
 ****
Amy's Kitchen
**** Baked Apple Upside Down
French Toast Description This french toast recipe is
fantastic because it tastes like a combination of a simple french toast
recipe and the best apple pie recipe. Make this french toast recipe using
french bread today. Serves: 8 Ingredients 3 pound Granny Smith apples,
peeled quartered and thinly sliced 6 tablespoon butter 3/4 cup granulated
sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon 8 slices French bread, sliced 3/4 inch thick
 7 eggs 1/2 teaspoon vanilla 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg, freshly grated 1
cup milk 1/2 cup heavy cream Instructions Melt butter in large saut�
pan and add sliced apples. Top apples with sugar and cinnamon and stir to
incorporate. Saut� over medium heat until apples are limp and translucent,
about 10 minutes, stirring so they don�t scorch. Pour apples into 9 x
13� glass oven proof baking dish. Top with sliced French bread. Fill any
spaces with small pieces of sliced bread so that entire surface is covered.
 Whisk eggs with vanilla, nutmeg, milk and cream. Pour this mixture over
the bread evenly so that all pieces absorb the liquid. Cover with plastic
wrap and refrigerate until morning. The next morning, pre-heat the
oven to 400 degrees F. Bake French toast for 25 minutes or until bread is
golden and custard is set. Invert carefully onto a sheet pan and cut
into squares to serve, apple side up. You may add the syrup of your choice and a
dollop of cr�me fraiche. ****A
Parting Thought **** I can lie convincingly about my age
because at my age I can't always remember what it is. Last Call
Y'ALL 
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center> 
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the
children of Israel "pick up 
Your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I
will lead you to the 
Promised Land". 

Nearly 75 years ago, FDR said, "Pick up your
shovels, get off your 
Asses, and light up a camel, this is the Promised
Land." 

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses,
raised the price of 
Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land.


We need change. Too late
now *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ Hey, Let's be careful out
there *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ Please Don't take anything you see in the Funnies
personally. The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing
more. Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target
here. Everyone is fair
game The Funnies are strictly an opt-in
service. We do not sell, lease, loan, or
give our subscriber's addresses to anyone for any reason. Our
features are intended to be for entertainment only. </DIV></DIV>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center>Disclaimer : All of my materials are borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are
believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright
on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which
ever you prefer. ~ To
subscribe, Regarding any problems In
accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
 comments at: <A
href="mailto:jim4-@verizon.net">jim4-@verizon.net</A> Jim
Dowers P.O. Box 521 Carlisle, IN 47838-0521 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& God Bless America , Our Land
, Forever May She Stand &&&&&&&&&& This document is virus free Scanned
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