|
Welcome to The Funnies
|
Jim Dowers
|
Sep 13, 2009 21:13 PDT
|
------=_NextPart_001_0004_01CA34D0.24322B30
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Blank
To subscribe, http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Funnies are strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Carlisle,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
Monday September 14,2009
Today's country music video :
Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton - Before I Met You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65o9GC_hOLE&feature=rec-HM-r2
Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton - Holding On To Nothin'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlgMSu6nlAE&feature=related
Dolly Parton & Porter Wagoner - "I Will Always Love You"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBLJIcaVC1w&feature=related
Yes folks, Youcan still buy GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC at
The Ernest Tubb Record Shops
Thought For Today: Tell a man there are 300 million stars in the universe and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to make sure.
A tourist wanders into a back alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an extra thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but, I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars and start following him.
Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously -- now not just thousands but millions -- so that by the time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats 12 city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can throw it.
Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah sir, you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.
"No," says the tourist, "I was just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of a lawyer!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
front
seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said
one child. "No," said another , "he's just for good luck." A third
child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said
firmly, "to find the fire hydrants
~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess I must be on the wrong page…
A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline.
A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year.
So, the average clunker transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year.
They claim 700,000 vehicles – so that's 224 million gallons / year.
That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.
5 million barrels of oil is about ¼ of one day's US consumption.
And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about $350 million dollars at $75/bbl.
So, we all contributed to spending $3 billion to save $350 million.
How good a deal was that???
They'll probably do a great job with health care though!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised
in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which
truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. The salesman
handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer declared, "This isn't the
price I saw!" The salesman went on to tell the wise old farmer how
he was getting extras such as power brakes, power windows, special
tires etc. And that was what took the price up. The farmer needed
the truck badly, paid the price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My
son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for
sale?" The farmer said, "Yes, I have a few cows, and I would sell
for $500.00 apiece. Come look at them and take your pick." The
salesman said he and his son would be right out. After spending a
few hours in the field checking out all the farmer's cows, the two
decided on one and the salesman proceeded to write out a check for
$500.00.
The farmer said--------"Now, wait a minute, that's not the final
price of the cow. You're getting extras with it and you have to pay
for that too." "What extras?" asked the salesman.
Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price
of the
cow..........
BASIC COW...............................$500.00
Two tone exterior..........................$45.00
Extra stomach...............................$75.00
Product storing equipment..........$60.00
Straw compartment....................$120.00
4 Spigots @$10 ea......................$40.00
Leather upholstery......................$125.00
Dual horns.....................................$45.00
Automatic fly swatter....................$38.00
Fertilizer attachment..................$185.00
GRAND TOTAL......................$1,233.00
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At
this price, I'm buying one.' The second one smiles and pats him on the back.
'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will
get one too.' Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did
you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?' The second
redneck replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes
yesterday!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
US Senior Citizen Speaks Out on Healthcare Bill
Two parts,Please watch BOTH parts.....
This man and his wife made the tape from their ranch in south-central Texas.
At their own expense, they made 1000 copies and sent one
to every single congressman and senator
and some media outlets.
Let's hope that each and every one of them watched and LISTENED!!!
Part 1 www.YouTube.com/watch?v=j7sQHunYdN8
Part 2 www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MJsF11PsnQ
Today's Links:
*some links may have adult contents on the same page, I have no control what
else appears on the page. Clicker beware!
Video Tickling Slow Loris
http://thefunnypage.com/125/
Old Ads from the 1930's
http://thefunnypage.com/126/
Photo Gallery: Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge July 2009
http://kingmandailyminer.com/main.asp?SectionID=99&SubSectionID=725&l=2
Peppers .com Hot Recipes
http://www.peppers.com/recipes.cfm
Invention Facts and Myths
http://www.ideafinder.com/history/of_inventions.htm
All you need is an adventuresome spirit.
http://www.moneycompare.com.au/blog/12-ways-to-travel-the-world-for-free.php
Game Classic Checkers
Play checkers online in this checkers game against the computer.
Select your skill level.
http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=21
Patriot Fire/Rescue/Transport
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/patriot.html
Rolling Memorial
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/trucking.html
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html
Hero's Truck
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/herotruck.html
New Jersey Apple Store theft: gone in 31 seconds Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/nmk78n
Tailgating America
http://www.tailgating.com/
Gone But Not Forgotten
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/dead/dead-people-2009.htm
Midnight Massacre
http://tinyurl.com/leygn2
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/leygn2"> Here </a>
Green Terror Game
http://tinyurl.com/cj69fl
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/cj69fl"> Here </a>
Insider Tales: Stolen Venus
http://tinyurl.com/qf5ph8
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/qf5ph8"> Here </a>
Darkness Reborn RPG
http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n"> Here </a>
Lost in the City
http://tinyurl.com/mmgehp
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/mmgehp"> Here </a>
Flower Paradise
http://tinyurl.com/luuyj2
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/luuyj2"> Here </a>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
-11-
Gov. Jimmy Davis born "James Houston Davis," in Beech Springs, LA' 1899. Inducted CMHF 1972.
Jack Shook, singer/session guitarist, born Decatur, IL 1910.
Randy Hughes, Patsy Cline's manager and Pilot, born Gum, TN 1928.
Ernest Tubb recorded at the second known country music recording session, ever to take place in Nashville. The Decca session was held at WSM's Studio B, in 1945. One of the songs recorded that day was "It's Been So Long Darling" which went to #1 on the charts.
Tom T. Hall recorded "That's How I Got To Memphis" 1968.
Leon Payne, age 52, died in San Antonio, TX 1969.
Marty Robbins recorded "Walkin' Piece Of Heaven/Franklin, Tennessee" 1972.
Barbara Mandrell seriously injured in car wreck in Hendersonville, TN 1984. The driver of the other vehicle, Mark White, age 19, was killed when his auto crossed the centerline striking Barbara's vehicle head on. Both of Barbara's children were in the car with her.
The Stoney Mountain Cloggers, made their final Grand Ole Opry appearance, 1993.
Billy Ray Cyrus' PAX-TV show "Doc" is filmed in Toronto, but the setting is New York City. While filming skyline footage of NYC on 9-11-2001, cameras were pointed at the World Trade Center when the plane crashed into the south tower. The footage was provided to government officials, and media outlets.
David Skepner, age 63, manager of Loretta Lynn, and Riders In The Sky, died of a heart attack on 9-11-2001, after the attack on the Twin Towers, and Pentagon.
On 9-11-2001, The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) were scheduled to present Garth Brooks with their Golden Note Award, at a dinner with members of Congress. As a result of the terrorist attacks on America the dinner was canceled, and Garth was stranded in New York City.
Rodney Crowell's daughter Carrie lives with her mother Rosanne Cash, in New York City. Eleven-year-old Carrie was at school on 9-11-2001, when the plane crashed into the south tower of the World Trade Center, a mere 15 blocks away. Rosanne retrieved Carrie, unharmed, a few hours later. 2001.
Carolyn Mayer Beug, 48, filmmaker who produced several music videos for Dwight Yoakam, died in New York City in 2001. She was a passenger on American Airlines Flight 11 that was crashed into the World Trade Center by terrorists.
John Ritter, age 54, son of Tex Ritter, died 2003.
Josh Gracin performed on CBS-TV's The Early Show 2004.
-12-
Helen Carter, of the Carter Sisters, born Maces Springs, VA 1927.
The final TV production of Hometown Jamboree aired 1959. The popular show debuted on 12/18/49.
George Jones, The Possum, born Saratoga, TX 1931. Member of the Grand Ole Opry. Inducted CMHF 1992.
Vernon, Gladys, and Elvis Presley moved from Tupelo, to a small Memphis apartment in 1948.
Rod Brasfield, age 48, died 1958. Inducted CMHF 1987.
George Jones celebrated his 63rd birthday in 1994, by having triple bypass surgery, at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.
Varese Vintage released Roy Clark's "Greatest Hits" 1995.
Rodney Crowell wed his long-time girl friend Claudia Church, in 1998.
Monument released Wade Hayes album "Highways and Heartaches" 2000.
Elektra released Emmylou Harris' album "Red Dirt Girl" 2000.
Koch released Asleep At The Wheel's 2-CD set "Comin' Right at Ya/Texas Gold" in 2000.Dan
Dan Rather interviewed the Dixie Chicks on the CBS television network. Dan pointed out to the girls that after selling 200 Million dollars worth of records, they should be millionaires. They weren't, so shortly after the telecast they sued SONY, and received a huge settlement 2002.
Johnny Cash, age 71, died in Baptist Hospital, Nashville, TN 2003. John has been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, Rockabilly Hall of Fame, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame.
Carolyn Dawn Johnson won five awards at the Canadian Country Music Association Awards in 2004.
-13-
Kelly Harrell, singer/songwriter, born Wythe County, VA 1889.
Daniel Williams, fiddler, for the East Texas Serenaders born 1900.
Kenny "Rudy" Trietsch, of the Hoosier Hot Shots born Arcadia, IN 1903.
Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass, born Rosine, KY 1911.
Claude Casey, singer/bandleader, born Enoree, SC 1912.
Ben Smathers and The Stoney Mountain Cloggers joined the Opry, 1958.
Bobbie Cryner, singer/songwriter, born Woodland, CA 1961.
Barbara Mandrell debuted on the charts with "I've Been Loving You Too Long," 1969.
Tom T. Hall recorded "Levi Jones" 1973.
Randy Travis' album "Old 8x10" was certified platinum 1988.
Ben Smathers, age 62, "Stoney Mountain Cloggers," died 1990.
Suzy Bogguss released "Somethin' Up My Sleeve" 1993.
The new U.S. postage stamp honoring Roy Acuff as "The King of Country Music," was unveiled on stage at the Grand Ole Opry 2003. U.S. Postmaster General John Potter presided.
The Canadian Country Music Association "CCMA" awards show was held in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 2004.
Thanks Bill
Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorr-@hotmail.com
**** Country Music News ****
Swift looks to The View
Friday, September 11, 2009 – Taylor Swift will make her first appearance on The View on Tuesday, Sept. 15. Swift will be interviewed by Barbara Walters and her co-hosts, and then perform two songs from her "Fearless" album. The View airs live on ABC at 11 a.m. eastern in New York.
Swift will perform live from Radio City Music Hall on MTV's Video Music Awards on Sunday, Sept. 13. The show airs live on MTV at 9 p.m. Eastern. She is nominated for Best Female Video for her number one hit, You Belong With Me.
Big Machine Records will release an enhanced version of Swift's "Fearless" album, entitled "Fearless Platinum Edition" on Oct. 27. The CD was RIAA certified quadruple platinum (4 million sales) this week. Swift's career record sales now top 10 million albums and 20 million paid song downloads.
~
Aldean, Swift lead country charts
Thursday, September 10, 2009 – Jason Aldean's Big Green Tractor was first for the third straight week on the Billboard country song chart for the week ending Sept. 19, while "Fearless' by Taylor Swift once again topped the album chart. Reba McEntire's former number one, "Keep on Loving You," dropped to fifth.
Zac Brown Band's "The Foundation" moved up from sixth to second on the album chart. "Hannah Montana: The Movie" was fifth, up two. George Strait's "Twang" was at fourth, down two. Chris Young debuted in sixth with "The Man I Want to Be." Cross Canadian Ragweed debuted in 10th with "Happiness And All the Other Things."
Brad Paisley was at 13, up 4, with "American Saturday Night." Geroge Jones debuted in 24th with "A Collection of My Best Recollection." The Casey Donahew Band debuted in 29th.
On the song chart, George Strait's Living for the Night was up two to second on the song chart. Justin Moore's first single, Small Town USA, climbed two to third, while American Ride from Toby Keith jumped three spots to fourth. Randy Houser's Boots On dropped from second to fifth.
Chris Young had his first top 10 song with Gettin' You Home at ninth, up 3.
Zac Brown Band's Toes moved from 17 to 13. David Nail's Red Light was at 19, up 3. The biggest mover was Need You Now by Lady Antebellum, which was at 25, up 6. Carrie Underwood's new single Cowboy Casanova debuted at 26.
On the overall top 200 album chart, Swift was 9th, Zac Brown Band 13th, "Hannah Montana" 14th, Strait 16th and McEntire 17th.
~
Paisley, Urban CMA count increases due to error
Thursday, September 10, 2009 – Subsequent to the CMA Awards nomination announcements on "Good Morning America," CMT's "Insider Special Edition: 2009 CMA Awards Nominations" and Premiere Radio Networks, it was discovered that Brad Paisley and Keith Urban were inadvertently omitted from the list of final nominees for CMA Musical Event of the Year for Start A Band.
The additional nomination gives Paisley a total of seven nominations - the most of any artist nominated for the 2009 CMA Awards. Urban's nomination count jumps from four to five.
The omission occurred when transferring information from the online ballot to the list of final nominees. "We take the integrity of the CMA Awards balloting very seriously," said Tammy Genovese, CMA Chief Executive Officer. "And when an oversight like this occurs we commit ourselves to a thorough review, thoughtful and immediate correction, and complete disclosure and accountability to the artists and our industry.
"I can assure CMA's valued constituents that we have examined every detail of the ballot for other discrepancies and all other categories were correct as announced."
Start A Band will be added to the list of nominees for the final ballot and all previously announced nominees will remain on the list. "All of the nominees for Musical Event of the Year are deserving and in the interest of fairness will remain on the ballot for the final vote by our membership," Genovese said. "We sincerely regret the omission of these two deserving artists from the list of nominees and apologize to Brad and Keith, and their representatives, for any confusion."
Zac Brown, Jamey Johnson, George Strait, and Taylor Swift each received four CMA Awards nominations.
Paisley was also nominated for Entertainer; Male Vocalist; Album for "American Saturday Night," which was produced by Frank Rogers and Chris DuBois; Single and Song for Then (DuBois and Ashley Gorley are also nominated as songwriters); and Music Video for "Start A Band" with Urban, which was directed by Jim Shea.
Urban's other nominations include Entertainer; Male Vocalist; Music Video for Start A Band with Paisley; and Album of the Year for "Defying Gravity." Urban is eligible to win a second trophy in the Album category for producing "Defying Gravit"y with Dann Huff.
The 43rd Annual CMA Awards will be broadcast live from the Sommet Center in Nashville, Wednesday, Nov. 11.
**** Amy's Kitchen ****
Coconut Pecan Cookies
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg
2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3 cups flaked coconut, divided
Pecan halves
In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and the sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg. Combine the flour, baking soda, and the salt. Add to the creamed mixture. Mix well. Stir in 2 cups of coconut. Shape into six 2 inch diameter logs. Roll in the remaining coconut. Wrap in plastic wrap. Freeze until frozen. Unwrap the dough. Cut into 1/4 inch slices. Place 3 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Place a pecan half in the center of each. Bake at 325 F for 20-25 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool for 2-3 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely. Makes 4 1/2 dozen
Melissa
~
FROM: RECIPE DU JOUR
_
Smothered Burgers
Cooking spray
2 cups vertically sliced onion
2 teaspoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt, divided
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided
- 1 (8-ounce) package presliced mushrooms
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 pound ground round
4 (1-ounce) slices Texas toast
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese
Prepare grill.
Heat a medium nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium
heat. Add onion; cover and cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add
sugar, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper; cook, uncovered, 5
minutes or until tender, stirring frequently. Remove onion from pan, and
keep warm.
Heat pan coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms
and 1/4 teaspoon salt; saute 5 minutes or until tender.
Combine 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon pepper, Worcestershire sauce,
and beef. Divide mixture into 4 equal portions, shaping each into a
1/2-inch-thick patty.
Preheat broiler.
Place patties on a grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 5 minutes
on each side or until done. Place bread on grill rack; grill 1 minute on
each side or until toasted.
Arrange bread on a baking sheet. Top each bread slice with 1 patty, 1/4
cup onion, 1/4 cup mushrooms, and 2 tablespoons cheese; broil 2 minutes
or until cheese melts. Yield: 4 servings.
CALORIES 393 (40% from fat); FAT 17.5g (sat 7.5g,mono 6.7g,poly 1.4g);
IRON 4.4mg; CHOLESTEROL 91mg; CALCIUM 204mg; CARBOHYDRATE 27.1g; SODIUM
786mg; PROTEIN 31.1g; FIBER 2.5g
****A Parting Thought ****
When Martians land on Earth, how will they tell which are the people
and which are the pets?
Last Call Y'ALL
A fellow and his wife in Muskogee, Oklahoma, where the
people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of
twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the
4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to
his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice, after
the pledge of allegiance".
His wife said, "Are you nuts?
You can't have girls going through life with names like
Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular
girl's names like Mary or Jane".
Well, the argument went
on for about a month, when a compromise was reached.
They would each name one of the girls. The man chose
Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth. As the girls grew,
they were so identical, they kept pulling tricks on people
who couldn't tell them apart.
Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest
in them. He would take one out on a date but he was never
sure which one he was with.
He decided he would marry one of them, or both if he could
get away with it, but he wasn't sure which one he would
marry, if he could only get one.He went to the girls father
and explained his quandary. "I love your daughters and want
to marry one of them, but I can't tell them apart, so I will
leave it up to you". "Give me Liberty or give me Beth"
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Please
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally.
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
Everyone is fair game
The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.
We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscriber's
addresses to anyone for any reason.
Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.
Disclaimer : All of my materials are borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which ever you prefer.
~
To subscribe, http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies
Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
comments at: jim4-@verizon.net
Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
This document is virus free
Scanned by AVG edition 8.5.409
~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unsubscription Email:
Unsubscription URL:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------=_NextPart_001_0004_01CA34D0.24322B30
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML XMLNS:O><HEAD><TITLE id=ridTitle>Blank</TITLE>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=windows-1252"><BASE
href="file://C:\Program Files\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\Stationery\">
<STYLE>BODY {
MARGIN-TOP: 25px; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 25px; COLOR: #000000; FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica
}
P.msoNormal {
MARGIN-TOP: 0px; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; COLOR: #ffffcc; FONT-FAMILY: Helvetica, "Times New Roman"
}
LI.msoNormal {
MARGIN-TOP: 0px; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; COLOR: #ffffcc; FONT-FAMILY: Helvetica, "Times New Roman"
}
</STYLE>
<META content="MSHTML 6.00.6000.16587" name=GENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY id=ridBody bgColor=#ffffff
background=cid:1CCEBAAD9BE8493BA5043CF3EFA0A603@BESSIE4>
<DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT size=6>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000 size=2><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><STRONG><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=3>To
subscribe,</FONT> </FONT></STRONG><A
href="http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies" target=_blank
rel=nofollow><SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1193125905_0
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #dceeff"><FONT color=#003399
size=3><STRONG>http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></A><FONT
color=#0000ff><FONT
color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT><STRONG>
<HR>
</STRONG></DIV></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT size=6></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=6><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000 size=2>The Funnies are strictly a
<FONT size=3>DOUB</FONT></FONT><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000
size=2><FONT size=3>LE</FONT> opt-in service.THIS IS NOT
SPAM<BR></FONT></STRONG>
<HR>
<IMG alt="" hspace=0 src="cid:1A2E575439204880ADF315BF9D961596@BESSIE4"
align=baseline border=0><BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=3><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>From Carlisle,Indiana<BR>U.S.A.<BR><FONT
color=#0000ff>Welcome to T</FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080 size=7><FONT face=Verdana><FONT size=3><STRONG><FONT
color=#0000ff>he Funnies<BR>est.7-4-2000
<BR><BR></FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT size=4><FONT size=5><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>These are <STRONG>clean jokes.</STRONG>
However,<BR>They are,<BR><STRONG>PG - Not intended for younger readers -
PG</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" color=#800000 size=6><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"
color=#800000 size=6><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT face=Arial color=#000000><FONT
size=3><FONT color=#008000><STRONG>Monday
September 14,2009</STRONG></FONT><BR><BR><STRONG>Today's country
music video</STRONG> :<BR><STRONG><EM>Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton -
Before I Met You<BR></EM></STRONG><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65o9GC_hOLE&;feature=rec-HM-r2"><FONT
color=#0000ff><STRONG><EM>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65o9GC_hOLE&;feature=rec-HM-r2</EM></STRONG></FONT></A><FONT
size=2><BR><BR></FONT></FONT><FONT size=3><STRONG><EM>Porter Wagoner & Dolly
Parton - Holding On To Nothin'<BR></EM></STRONG><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlgMSu6nlAE&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff><STRONG><EM>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlgMSu6nlAE&;feature=related</EM></STRONG></FONT></A><FONT
size=2><BR><BR></P>
<H1><FONT size=3><EM>Dolly Parton & Porter Wagoner - "I Will Always Love
You"<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBLJIcaVC1w&;feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBLJIcaVC1w&;feature=related</FONT></A></EM></FONT></H1>
<DIV class=clearL><EM></EM></DIV>
<P
align=center></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT color=#000000><FONT
face=Arial size=2></FONT> </P>
<P align=center><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><STRONG>Yes folks, Youcan still
buy GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC at<BR>The Ernest Tubb Record
Shops</STRONG><BR></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT> </P>
<P align=center><EM><FONT face=Arial size=3><STRONG>Thought
For Today:</STRONG></FONT></EM></FONT><FONT face=Arial><FONT
size=3><STRONG> </STRONG><FONT color=#000000>Tell a man there are 300
million stars in the universe and he'll believe you. </FONT></FONT></P>
<DIV><FONT size=3><FONT color=#000000>Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and
he'll have to touch it to make sure.<BR></FONT><BR><BR><BR></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#000000 size=3>A tourist wanders into a back alley
antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on
display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so
interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an extra thousand
dollars more for the story behind it." </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#000000 size=3>"You can keep the story, old man," he
replies, "but, I'll take the rat." </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#000000 size=3>The transaction complete, the tourist
leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in
front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step
behind him.<BR><BR>Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk
faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and
follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at
his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon
breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant
lots, and abandoned cars and start following him.<BR><BR>Rats by the thousands
are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he
panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep
up, squealing hideously -- now not just thousands but millions -- so that by the
time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats 12 city blocks long is
behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it
with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the
other, as far as he can throw it.<BR><BR>Pulling his legs up and clinging to the
light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the
breakwater into the sea, where they drown.<BR><BR>Shaken and mumbling, he makes
his way back to the antique shop. "Ah sir, you've come back for the rest of the
story," says the owner. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000><FONT face=Arial size=3>"No," says the tourist, "I was
just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of a lawyer!"<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>A nursery
school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of<BR>kids home one day when
a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the<BR>front<BR>seat of the truck was a
Dalmatian dog. The children started<BR>discussing the dog's duties. "They use
him to keep crowds back,"<BR>said<BR>one child. "No," said another , "he's just
for good luck." A third<BR>child brought the argument to a close. "They use the
dogs," she said<BR>firmly, "to find the fire hydrants<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">I guess I must be on the wrong page…</SPAN> </FONT>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800
gallons a year of gasoline.</SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480
gallons a year. </SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT></DIV>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">So, the average clunker transaction will reduce US
gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year. </SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT></DIV>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">They claim 700,000 vehicles – so that's 224 million
gallons / year.</SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of
oil.</SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT></DIV>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">5 million barrels of oil is about <STRONG>¼</STRONG>
of one day's US consumption.</SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT></DIV>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about
$350 <SPAN class=ececyshortcuts>million dollars</SPAN> at
$75/bbl.</SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT></DIV>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">So, we all contributed to spending <B><SPAN
style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"><FONT color=#ff0000>$3
billion</FONT></SPAN></B> to save $350 million. </SPAN> </FONT></FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=3></FONT></DIV>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">How good a deal was that??? </SPAN></FONT>
<P class=ececmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt"></SPAN><FONT
face=Arial><FONT color=blue><SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"><STRONG><B><SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'">They'll probably do a great job with health
care though!!</SPAN></SPAN></B></STRONG></SPAN></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=3>
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>A farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw
advertised<BR>in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman
which<BR>truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. The
salesman<BR>handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer declared, "This isn't
the<BR>price I saw!" The salesman went on to tell the wise old farmer how<BR>he
was getting extras such as power brakes, power windows, special<BR>tires etc.
And that was what took the price up. The farmer needed<BR>the truck badly, paid
the price and went home. <BR><BR>A few months later, the salesman called up the
farmer and said, "My<BR>son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you
have any for<BR>sale?" The farmer said, "Yes, I have a few cows, and I would
sell<BR>for $500.00 apiece. Come look at them and take your pick."
The<BR>salesman said he and his son would be right out. After spending a<BR>few
hours in the field checking out all the farmer's cows, the two<BR>decided on one
and the salesman proceeded to write out a check for<BR>$500.00. <BR><BR>The
farmer said--------<WBR>"Now, wait a minute, that's not the final<BR>price of
the cow. You're getting extras with it and you have to pay<BR>for that too."
"What extras?" asked the salesman. <BR><BR>Below is the list the farmer gave the
salesman for the final price<BR>of the <BR>cow.........<WBR>. <BR>BASIC
COW.........<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>....$500.<WBR>00 <BR>Two tone
exterior....<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>....$45.00 <BR>Extra
stomach.....<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>........$<WBR>75.00 <BR>Product
storing equipment...<WBR>.......$60.<WBR>00 <BR>Straw
compartment.<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>.$120.00 <BR>4 Spigots @$10
ea..........<WBR>.........<WBR>...$40.00 <BR>Leather
upholstery..<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>..$125.00 <BR>Dual
horns.......<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>.........<WBR>...$45.00
<BR>Automatic fly swatter.....<WBR>.........<WBR>......$38.<WBR>00
<BR>Fertilizer attachment..<WBR>.........<WBR>.......$185.<WBR>00 <BR>GRAND
TOTAL.......<WBR>.........<WBR>......$1,<WBR>233.00
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR> Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and
admiring the models. <BR>One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful
girls in this catalog?'<BR>The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very
beautiful. And look at the price!' <BR>The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow,
they aren't very expensive. At <BR>this price, I'm buying one.' The second one
smiles and pats him on the back. <BR>'Good idea! Order one and if she's as
beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will <BR>get one too.' Three weeks later,
the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did <BR>you ever receive the girl you
ordered from the Sears catalog?' The second <BR>redneck replies, 'No, but it
shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes <BR>yesterday!'
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT></FONT></FONT><BR><FONT size=3><FONT
face=Arial><BR>US Senior Citizen Speaks Out on Healthcare
Bill <BR></FONT><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN><B><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Two
parts,Please </SPAN></B><B><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">watch
BOTH parts.....</SPAN></B><O:P></O:P></FONT></P>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT
size=3> <O:P></O:P></FONT></P></DIV>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">This man and his wife
made the tape from their ranch in south-central Texas. </SPAN><SPAN
class=ec410121003-05092009><SPAN
style="COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN></SPAN><O:P></O:P></FONT></P></DIV>
<P class=ecmsonormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">At their own expense,
they made 1000 copies and sent one </SPAN><O:P></O:P></FONT></P>
<P class=ecmsonormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">to every single
congressman and senator </SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">
</SPAN><O:P></O:P></FONT></P>
<P class=ecmsonormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT size=3><SPAN
style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">and some media
outlets.</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN><SPAN
class=ec410121003-05092009><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">
</SPAN><O:P></O:P></FONT></P>
<P class=ecmsonormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT size=3><SPAN
class=ec410121003-05092009><SPAN
style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Let's hope that each and
every one of them watched and LISTENED!!! </SPAN><SPAN
class=ec410121003-05092009><SPAN
style="COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN></SPAN><O:P></O:P></FONT></P>
<P class=ececmsonormal><FONT face=Arial color=#000080 size=3>Part 1
</FONT><A title=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7sQHunYdN8
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7sQHunYdN8" target=_blank><FONT face=Arial
size=3>www.YouTube.com/watch?v=j7sQHunYdN8</FONT></A><FONT color=#000080><FONT
face=Arial><FONT size=3>
<O:P></O:P></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<DIV>
<P class=ecmsonormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center"
align=center><SPAN style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"><FONT
size=3>Part 2 </FONT><A
title=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MJsF11PsnQ
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MJsF11PsnQ" target=_blank><FONT
size=3>www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MJsF11PsnQ</FONT></A></SPAN><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#0000ff size=3><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><FONT color=#0000ff size=3><STRONG><BR>Today's
Links:</STRONG></P></DIV></DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG>*some links may have adult contents on
the same page, I have no control what</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG> else appears on the page. Clicker
beware!</STRONG></FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV>
<P align=center></FONT><BR></P>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Video Tickling Slow Loris</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A title=http://thefunnypage.com/125/
href="http://thefunnypage.com/125/"><FONT
size=2>http://thefunnypage.com/125/</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2> Old Ads from the 1930's</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A title=http://thefunnypage.com/126/
href="http://thefunnypage.com/126/"><FONT
size=2>http://thefunnypage.com/126/</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Photo Gallery: Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge July 2009
<BR></FONT><A
title=http://kingmandailyminer.com/main.asp?SectionID=99&;SubSectionID=725&l=2
href="http://kingmandailyminer.com/main.asp?SectionID=99&;SubSectionID=725&l=2"><FONT
size=2>http://kingmandaily<WBR>miner.com/<WBR>main.asp?<WBR>SectionID=<WBR>99&SubSectionID=<WBR>725&l=2</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Peppers .com Hot Recipes<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.peppers.com/recipes.cfm
href="http://www.peppers.com/recipes.cfm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.peppers.<WBR>com/recipes.<WBR>cfm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Invention Facts and Myths<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.ideafinder.com/history/of_inventions.htm
href="http://www.ideafinder.com/history/of_inventions.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.ideafind<WBR>er.com/history/<WBR>of_inventions.<WBR>htm</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>A<FONT face=Georgia><FONT face=Arial>ll you need is an
adventuresome spirit.</FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A
title=http://www.moneycompare.com.au/blog/12-ways-to-travel-the-world-for-free.php
href="http://www.moneycompare.com.au/blog/12-ways-to-travel-the-world-for-free.php"><FONT
size=2>http://www.moneycompare.com.au/blog/12-ways-to-travel-the-world-for-free.php</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2> Game Classic Checkers</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Play checkers online in this checkers game against the
computer. <BR>Select your skill level. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A title=http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=21
href="http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=21"><FONT
size=2>http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=21</FONT></A><FONT
color=#000000><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Patriot Fire/Rescue/<WBR>Transport
<BR></FONT><A href="http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/patriot.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.shangral<WBR>afamilyfun.<WBR>com/patriot.<WBR>html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Rolling Memorial <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trucking.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.Shangral<WBR>aFamilyFun.<WBR>com/trucking.<WBR>html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>USS New York LPD-21 Tribute <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.shangral<WBR>afamilyfun.<WBR>com/ussny.<WBR>html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Hero's Truck<BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/herotruck.html"><FONT
size=2>http://www.shangral<WBR>afamilyfun.<WBR>com/herotruck.<WBR>html</FONT></A><BR></FONT><BR><FONT
size=2>New Jersey Apple Store theft: gone in 31 seconds Via Wesley<BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/nmk78n"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/nmk78n</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Tailgating
America<BR></FONT><A href="http://www.tailgating.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.tailgati<WBR>ng.com/</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Gone But
Not Forgotten<BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.fiftiesweb.com/dead/dead-people-2009.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.fiftiesw<WBR>eb.com/dead/<WBR>dead-people-<WBR>2009.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Midnight Massacre <BR></FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/leygn2"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/leygn2</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/leygn2"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/leygn2</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Green Terror Game <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/cj69fl"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/cj69fl</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/cj69fl"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/cj69fl</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Insider Tales: Stolen Venus <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/qf5ph8"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/qf5ph8</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/qf5ph8"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/qf5ph8</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Darkness Reborn RPG <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/dxys9n</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/dxys9n"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/dxys9n</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Lost in the City <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/mmgehp"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/mmgehp</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/mmgehp"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/mmgehp</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Flower Paradise <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/luuyj2"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/luuyj2</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/luuyj2"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/luuyj2</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000000
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><STRONG> </STRONG></DIV>
<P align=center><STRONG>Please help, it won't cost ya a thing<BR>but it will
really feel good</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT> <FONT
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000
size=1><STRONG>Free Food For Homeless Dogs<BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT
color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><FONT
color=#ff00ff size=2><STRONG>Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know. <BR></STRONG></FONT><A href="http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/"
target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.thebreastcancersite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><FONT color=#008000
size=2><STRONG>Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation</STRONG></FONT><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><STRONG> <BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.organdonor.gov/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.organdonor.gov/</STRONG></FONT></A><STRONG> </STRONG><FONT
size=2><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#000000
size=3>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2><STRONG>The
band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks<BR>for
*each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies<BR>to
help find a cure for autism. </STRONG></FONT></FONT></SPAN><BR><FONT
color=#0000ff size=2><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214"><FONT
color=#0000ff
size=2><STRONG>http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214</STRONG></FONT></A></FONT><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2>About
Free Rice<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3>Free Rice is a sister site of the world
poverty site<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><A
href="http://www.freerice.com/about.html"><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3>http://www.freerice.com/about.html</FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3> </FONT><A href="http://www.poverty.com/"><FONT
size=3>Poverty.com</FONT></A><BR><STRONG><FONT color=#ff00ff size=3>No one
should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim<BR><FONT
color=#000000>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><BR></P></FONT></STRONG><FONT
color=#0000ff>
<P align=center><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3><STRONG>****Bill's Country
Calendar </STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#000000
size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG><FONT size=2><FONT color=#ca1010><EM>****This
Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission<BR>from
</EM>the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison ©
****<BR></FONT></P></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><FONT size=2><I>
<P align=center>-11-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Gov. Jimmy Davis born "James Houston Davis," in Beech Springs,
LA' 1899. Inducted CMHF 1972.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jack Shook, singer/session guitarist, born Decatur, IL 1910.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Randy Hughes, Patsy Cline's manager and Pilot, born Gum, TN
1928.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ernest Tubb recorded at the second known country music recording
session, ever to take place in Nashville. The Decca session was held at WSM's
Studio B, in 1945. One of the songs recorded that day was "It's Been So Long
Darling" which went to #1 on the charts.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Tom T. Hall recorded "That's How I Got To Memphis" 1968. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Leon Payne, age 52, died in San Antonio, TX 1969.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Marty Robbins recorded "Walkin' Piece Of Heaven/Franklin,
Tennessee" 1972. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Barbara Mandrell seriously injured in car wreck in
Hendersonville, TN 1984. The driver of the other vehicle, Mark White, age 19,
was killed when his auto crossed the centerline striking Barbara's vehicle head
on. Both of Barbara's children were in the car with her. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The Stoney Mountain Cloggers, made their final Grand Ole Opry
appearance, 1993.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Billy Ray Cyrus' PAX-TV show "Doc" is filmed in Toronto, but the
setting is New York City. While filming skyline footage of NYC on 9-11-2001,
cameras were pointed at the World Trade Center when the plane crashed into the
south tower. The footage was provided to government officials, and media
outlets. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>David Skepner, age 63, manager of Loretta Lynn, and Riders In
The Sky, died of a heart attack on 9-11-2001, after the attack on the Twin
Towers, and Pentagon.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>On 9-11-2001, The American Society of Composers, Authors and
Publishers (ASCAP) were scheduled to present Garth Brooks with their Golden Note
Award, at a dinner with members of Congress. As a result of the terrorist
attacks on America the dinner was canceled, and Garth was stranded in New York
City.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Rodney Crowell's daughter Carrie lives with her mother Rosanne
Cash, in New York City. Eleven-year-old Carrie was at school on 9-11-2001, when
the plane crashed into the south tower of the World Trade Center, a mere 15
blocks away. Rosanne retrieved Carrie, unharmed, a few hours later. 2001.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Carolyn Mayer Beug, 48, filmmaker who produced several music
videos for Dwight Yoakam, died in New York City in 2001. She was a passenger on
American Airlines Flight 11 that was crashed into the World Trade Center by
terrorists.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>John Ritter, age 54, son of Tex Ritter, died 2003.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Josh Gracin performed on CBS-TV's The Early Show 2004.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>-12-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Helen Carter, of the Carter Sisters, born Maces Springs, VA
1927.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The final TV production of Hometown Jamboree aired 1959. The
popular show debuted on 12/18/49.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>George Jones, The Possum, born Saratoga, TX 1931. Member of the
Grand Ole Opry. Inducted CMHF 1992.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Vernon, Gladys, and Elvis Presley moved from Tupelo, to a small
Memphis apartment in 1948.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Rod Brasfield, age 48, died 1958. Inducted CMHF 1987.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>George Jones celebrated his 63rd birthday in 1994, by having
triple bypass surgery, at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Varese Vintage released Roy Clark's "Greatest Hits" 1995.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Rodney Crowell wed his long-time girl friend Claudia Church, in
1998.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Monument released Wade Hayes album "Highways and Heartaches"
2000.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Elektra released Emmylou Harris' album "Red Dirt Girl" 2000.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Koch released Asleep At The Wheel's 2-CD set "Comin' Right at
Ya/Texas Gold" in 2000.Dan </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Dan Rather interviewed the Dixie Chicks on the CBS television
network. Dan pointed out to the girls that after selling 200 Million dollars
worth of records, they should be millionaires. They weren't, so shortly after
the telecast they sued SONY, and received a huge settlement 2002.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Johnny Cash, age 71, died in Baptist Hospital, Nashville, TN
2003. John has been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, Rockabilly
Hall of Fame, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and the Nashville Songwriters Hall
of Fame.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Carolyn Dawn Johnson won five awards at the Canadian Country
Music Association Awards in 2004. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>-13-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Kelly Harrell, singer/songwriter, born Wythe County, VA
1889.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Daniel Williams, fiddler, for the East Texas Serenaders born
1900.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Kenny "Rudy" Trietsch, of the Hoosier Hot Shots born Arcadia, IN
1903.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass, born Rosine, KY 1911. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Claude Casey, singer/bandleader, born Enoree, SC 1912.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ben Smathers and The Stoney Mountain Cloggers joined the Opry,
1958.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Bobbie Cryner, singer/songwriter, born Woodland, CA 1961.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Barbara Mandrell debuted on the charts with "I've Been Loving
You Too Long," 1969.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Tom T. Hall recorded "Levi Jones" 1973.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Randy Travis' album "Old 8x10" was certified platinum 1988.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ben Smathers, age 62, "Stoney Mountain Cloggers," died 1990.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Suzy Bogguss released "Somethin' Up My Sleeve" 1993.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The new U.S. postage stamp honoring Roy Acuff as "The King of
Country Music," was unveiled on stage at the Grand Ole Opry 2003. U.S.
Postmaster General John Potter presided.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P>The Canadian Country Music Association "CCMA" awards show was held in
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 2004.</P>
<P align=center></I><STRONG>Thanks Bill<BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><A
href="http://www.rockabillyhall.com/rcnv.html"><FONT color=#000000
size=1><STRONG>Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views"
Page</STRONG></FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#000000><STRONG><EM><FONT
size=2>Compiled by Bill Morrison -
billmorr-@hotmail.com</FONT></EM></STRONG></A><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><BR></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><FONT size=3><STRONG> <BR>**** Country Music News
</STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#008000 size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><BR>Swift looks to The View<BR>Friday, September 11, 2009 – Taylor
Swift will make her first appearance on The View on Tuesday, Sept. 15. Swift
will be interviewed by Barbara Walters and her co-hosts, and then perform two
songs from her "Fearless" album. The View airs live on ABC at 11 a.m. eastern in
New York. <BR>Swift will perform live from Radio City Music Hall on MTV's Video
Music Awards on Sunday, Sept. 13. The show airs live on MTV at 9 p.m. Eastern.
She is nominated for Best Female Video for her number one hit, You Belong With
Me. </FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Big Machine Records will release an
enhanced version of Swift's "Fearless" album, entitled "Fearless Platinum
Edition" on Oct. 27. The CD was RIAA certified quadruple platinum (4 million
sales) this week. Swift's career record sales now top 10 million albums and 20
million paid song downloads. <BR>~<BR>Aldean, Swift lead country
charts<BR>Thursday, September 10, 2009 – Jason Aldean's Big Green Tractor was
first for the third straight week on the Billboard country song chart for the
week ending Sept. 19, while "Fearless' by Taylor Swift once again topped the
album chart. Reba McEntire's former number one, "Keep on Loving You," dropped to
fifth. <BR>Zac Brown Band's "The Foundation" moved up from sixth to second on
the album chart. "Hannah Montana: The Movie" was fifth, up two. George Strait's
"Twang" was at fourth, down two. Chris Young debuted in sixth with "The Man I
Want to Be." Cross Canadian Ragweed debuted in 10th with "Happiness And All the
Other Things." </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Brad Paisley was at 13, up 4, with
"American Saturday Night." Geroge Jones debuted in 24th with "A Collection of My
Best Recollection." The Casey Donahew Band debuted in 29th. </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>On the song chart, George Strait's
Living for the Night was up two to second on the song chart. Justin Moore's
first single, Small Town USA, climbed two to third, while American Ride from
Toby Keith jumped three spots to fourth. Randy Houser's Boots On dropped from
second to fifth. </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Chris Young had his first top 10 song
with Gettin' You Home at ninth, up 3. </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Zac Brown Band's Toes moved from 17 to
13. David Nail's Red Light was at 19, up 3. The biggest mover was Need You Now
by Lady Antebellum, which was at 25, up 6. Carrie Underwood's new single Cowboy
Casanova debuted at 26. </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>On the overall top 200 album chart,
Swift was 9th, Zac Brown Band 13th, "Hannah Montana" 14th, Strait 16th and
McEntire 17th.</FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>~<BR>Paisley, Urban CMA count
increases due to error<BR>Thursday, September 10, 2009 – Subsequent to the CMA
Awards nomination announcements on "Good Morning America," CMT's "Insider
Special Edition: 2009 CMA Awards Nominations" and Premiere Radio Networks, it
was discovered that Brad Paisley and Keith Urban were inadvertently omitted from
the list of final nominees for CMA Musical Event of the Year for Start A Band.
<BR>The additional nomination gives Paisley a total of seven nominations - the
most of any artist nominated for the 2009 CMA Awards. Urban's nomination count
jumps from four to five. </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>The omission occurred when
transferring information from the online ballot to the list of final nominees.
"We take the integrity of the CMA Awards balloting very seriously," said Tammy
Genovese, CMA Chief Executive Officer. "And when an oversight like this occurs
we commit ourselves to a thorough review, thoughtful and immediate correction,
and complete disclosure and accountability to the artists and our industry.
</FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>"I can assure CMA's valued
constituents that we have examined every detail of the ballot for other
discrepancies and all other categories were correct as announced."
</FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Start A Band will be added to the list
of nominees for the final ballot and all previously announced nominees will
remain on the list. "All of the nominees for Musical Event of the Year are
deserving and in the interest of fairness will remain on the ballot for the
final vote by our membership," Genovese said. "We sincerely regret the omission
of these two deserving artists from the list of nominees and apologize to Brad
and Keith, and their representatives, for any confusion." </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Zac Brown, Jamey Johnson, George
Strait, and Taylor Swift each received four CMA Awards nominations.
</FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Paisley was also nominated for
Entertainer; Male Vocalist; Album for "American Saturday Night," which was
produced by Frank Rogers and Chris DuBois; Single and Song for Then (DuBois and
Ashley Gorley are also nominated as songwriters); and Music Video for "Start A
Band" with Urban, which was directed by Jim Shea. </FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>Urban's other nominations include
Entertainer; Male Vocalist; Music Video for Start A Band with Paisley; and Album
of the Year for "Defying Gravity." Urban is eligible to win a second trophy in
the Album category for producing "Defying Gravit"y with Dann Huff.
</FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=4><FONT size=3>The 43rd Annual CMA Awards will be
broadcast live from the Sommet Center in Nashville, Wednesday, Nov. 11.
</FONT></FONT></P>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><BR><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000><STRONG>****</STRONG>
<STRONG>Amy's Kitchen</STRONG>
<STRONG>****</STRONG> </FONT><BR>Coconut Pecan Cookies<BR> <BR>1
cup butter, softened<BR>1 cup sugar<BR>1 egg<BR>2 1/4 cups flour<BR>1/2 tsp
baking soda<BR>1/2 tsp salt<BR>3 cups flaked coconut, divided<BR>Pecan
halves<BR> <BR>In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and the sugar until
light and fluffy. Beat in the egg. Combine the flour, baking soda,
and the salt. Add to the creamed mixture. Mix well. Stir in 2
cups of coconut. Shape into six 2 inch diameter logs. Roll in the
remaining coconut. Wrap in plastic wrap. Freeze until frozen.
Unwrap the dough. Cut into 1/4 inch slices. Place 3 inches apart on
ungreased baking sheets. Place a pecan half in the center of each.
Bake at 325 F for 20-25 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool for 2-3
minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely. Makes 4 1/2
dozen<BR> <BR>Melissa<BR>~<BR>FROM: RECIPE DU JOUR <BR>_ <BR>Smothered
Burgers <BR>Cooking spray<BR>2 cups vertically sliced onion<BR>2 teaspoons
sugar<BR>3/4 teaspoon salt, divided <BR>1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black
pepper, divided <BR>- 1 (8-ounce) package presliced mushrooms <BR>2 tablespoons
Worcestershire sauce<BR>1 pound ground round<BR>4 (1-ounce) slices Texas toast
<BR>1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese <BR>Prepare grill. <BR>Heat a
medium nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium<BR>heat. Add
onion; cover and cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add<BR>sugar, 1/4
teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper; cook, uncovered, 5<BR>minutes or until
tender, stirring frequently. Remove onion from pan, and<BR>keep warm. <BR>Heat
pan coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms<BR>and 1/4
teaspoon salt; saute 5 minutes or until tender. <BR>Combine 1/4 teaspoon salt,
1/4 teaspoon pepper, Worcestershire sauce,<BR>and beef. Divide mixture into 4
equal portions, shaping each into a<BR>1/2-inch-thick patty. <BR>Preheat
broiler. <BR>Place patties on a grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 5
minutes<BR>on each side or until <U>done.</U> Place bread on grill rack; grill 1
minute on<BR>each side or until toasted. <BR>Arrange bread on a baking sheet.
Top each bread slice with 1 patty, 1/4<BR>cup onion, 1/4 cup mushrooms, and 2
tablespoons cheese; broil 2 minutes<BR>or until cheese melts. Yield: 4 servings.
<BR>CALORIES 393 (40% from fat); FAT 17.5g (sat 7.5g,mono 6.7g,poly
1.4g);<BR>IRON 4.4mg; CHOLESTEROL 91mg; CALCIUM 204mg; CARBOHYDRATE 27.1g;
SODIUM<BR>786mg; PROTEIN 31.1g; FIBER 2.5g<BR><BR><STRONG><FONT
color=#008000>****A Parting Thought ****</FONT></STRONG><BR>When Martians land
on Earth, how will they tell which are the people <BR>and which are the
pets? <BR><STRONG><FONT color=#008000><BR>Last Call
Y'ALL</FONT></STRONG><BR></P></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT
color=#000000><FONT size=3>A fellow and his wife in Muskogee, Oklahoma, where
the <BR>people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of <BR>twins, two
identical girls. These twins were born on the <BR>4th of July, and the father,
being patriotic, said to <BR>his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice,
after <BR>the pledge of allegiance".<BR><BR>His wife said, "Are you nuts?
<BR>You can't have girls going through life with names like <BR>Liberty and
Justice. We are going to name them regular <BR>girl's names like Mary or
Jane".<BR><BR>Well, the argument went <BR>on for about a month, when a
compromise was reached. <BR>They would each name one of the girls. The man chose
<BR>Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth. As the girls grew, <BR>they were so
identical, they kept pulling tricks on people <BR>who couldn't tell them
apart.<BR><BR>Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest <BR>in
them. He would take one out on a date but he was never <BR>sure which one he was
with. <BR><BR>He decided he would marry one of them, or both if he could <BR>get
away with it, but he wasn't sure which one he would <BR>marry, if he could only
get one.He went to the girls father <BR>and explained his quandary. "I love your
daughters and want <BR>to marry one of them, but I can't tell them apart, so I
will <BR>leave it up to you". "Give me Liberty or give me
Beth"<BR></FONT><BR><BR></FONT><FONT color=#0000ff><FONT
size=4><BR><STRONG>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+<BR></STRONG></FONT><STRONG><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>Hey, Let's be careful out
there<BR></FONT>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+</FONT><BR>Please<BR></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG>Don't take anything you see in the Funnies
personally. <BR>The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing
more.<BR>Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target
here.<BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>Everyone is fair
game</FONT><BR>The Funnies are strictly an opt-in
service.<BR></STRONG><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>We do not sell, lease, loan, or
give our subscriber's <BR>addresses to anyone for any reason.</FONT> <BR>Our
features are intended to be for entertainment only.<BR></STRONG></DIV></DIV>
<DIV align=center></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><STRONG><FONT
color=#ff0033><FONT class=Verdana14>Disclaimer : </FONT></FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8 color=#000000>All of my materials are borrowed </FONT><FONT
color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>from various areas on the web <FONT
color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>and from my readers. All are
</FONT><FONT class=Verdana8>believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright
o</FONT></FONT>n any of these materials </FONT></FONT></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG><FONT class=Verdana8>please </FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8>inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which
ever you prefer. </FONT><BR></STRONG></FONT><STRONG>~<BR></STRONG><STRONG><FONT
size=3>To subscribe,</FONT> <A
href="http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies" target=_blank
rel=nofollow><SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1193125905_0
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #dceeff"><FONT color=#003399
size=3><STRONG>http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></A><FONT
color=#0000ff><FONT color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><BR></STRONG><FONT
size=3><BR><STRONG>Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
<BR>Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or <BR>comments at:
</STRONG><A
href="mailto:jim4-@verizon.net"><STRONG>jim4-@verizon.net</STRONG></A><FONT
color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><BR>Jim
Dowers<BR>P.O. Box 521 <BR>Carlisle, IN 47838-0521</FONT><FONT
color=#008080><BR><BR><FONT
size=3><STRONG>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&<BR><BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>God Bless America , </FONT><FONT
color=#0000ff>Our Land</FONT></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#ff0000 size=3><STRONG>
, Forever May She Stand<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG>&&&&&&&&&&<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG>This document is virus free<BR>Scanned
by </STRONG></FONT><FONT size=3><STRONG><FONT color=#008000><FONT
color=#008080>AVG edition
8.5.409</FONT><BR></FONT>~<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#ff0000
size=3><STRONG>
<HR>
</STRONG><FONT color=#000000 size=4>Unsubscription Email:<BR></FONT><FONT
color=#000000 size=4>Unsubscription URL: </FONT><STRONG>
<HR>
</STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV>
<P align=center> </P></BODY></HTML>
------=_NextPart_001_0004_01CA34D0.24322B30--
|
|
 |
|
