|
Welcome to The Funnies
|
Jim Dowers
|
Sep 27, 2009 18:22 PDT
|
------=_NextPart_001_0020_01CA3FB8.8794AAC0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Blank
To subscribe, http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Funnies are strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Carlisle,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
Monday September 28,2009
Today's country music video :
Walkin' the floor over you - Ernest Tubb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCFVR7cPbbA&feature=rec-HM-r2
Ernest Tubb-Waltz across Texas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9GTKJrLgYc&NR=1
Ernest Tubb-There' s a liitle bit of everything in texas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrVXFEsHnbc&feature=related
Ernest Tubb-I'll Get Along Somehow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTZUlf7zMHU&feature=related
Ernest Tubb - I Love You Because
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5ffmDDaQs&feature=related
Yes folks, Youcan still buy GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC at
The Ernest Tubb Record Shops
Thought For Today:Do you want some help using the Internet, son?
No thanks, Dad, I can screw it up all by myself.
As the only vegetarian in my family, I often get tired of defending my food choices to other family members, especially at the large dinner gatherings we have on special occasions. I didn't realize how often the subject is actually discussed until one day around Thanksgiving, when I picked up my six-year-old, Jordan, from school. His class had made Thanksgiving turkey crafts using potatoes and paper feathers.
Jordan proudly presented his to me, announcing excitedly,"Mom, this year we'll finally have the kind of turkey even you can eat!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the beginning of the school year, I asked my Grade 2 students to write about something exciting they did that summer, then to draw a picture to illustrate it. One student proudly presented his account of a ride on a roller coaster, but he had not drawn a picture. When I asked why he hadn't done this, he declared, "I couldn't: I didn't see anything because my eyes were closed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a family gathering, a husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise."
"What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old-fashioned Zachary approached Laura's father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage. "Sir," he blurted out, "I have an attachment for your daughter, and..." "See here, young man," interrupted Laura's dad, "when my daughter needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JUDGE: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didn't you take the food instead of the cash out of the till?
BURGLAR: Your Honor! I'm a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUESTION: Why does beer go through your system so fast?
ANSWER: Because it doesn't have to stop and change color.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Despite his low opinion of lieutenants, the sergeant kept a respectful tone as he taught us how to bail out of a plane in an emergency.
"Sirs, to open the hatch," he began, "turn this lever to the right, then pull that handle."
"What if we don’t follow that sequence?" a second lieutenant asked.
"Then, sir," said the sergeant patiently, "you hit the hatch handle with a crash axe."
"That’ll open the hatch?"
"No, sir. But it will keep your mind occupied until you crash."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While editing announcements for a newspaper, I came across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma. Aside from all the wonderful activities the kids could enjoy, such as canoeing, swimming, crafts and more, it promised that its lakefront property offered something the kids probably did not expect: "breathtaking views."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a friend who saw her dream of proclaiming her love for tofu, mercilessly crushed by the California Division of Motor Vehicles.
They absolutely prohibited her from purchasing and displaying a vanity plate, designed to demonstrate her affection for that bean-curd stuff.
The DMV claimed that the plate would have been obscene. Kelley's plate was to have read: ILVTOFU. Now who could mistake this wholesome sentiment for something else?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the hardest part of skydiving?
A: The ground.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom. "I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she said.
Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't spend that much on my wedding."
My friend answered, "I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mystery writer giving a speech told her audience that her career path was laid out early in her life. She explained that her parents guessed what she might become when she was five years old. They read. "Humpty-Dumpty" to her and she wondered if he was pushed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUESTION: What letter should women avoid?
ANSWER: The letter "A" because it makes men mean
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys
were born. She is the joy of my husband's life, but he is self-conscious
about being an older father. He likes to jokingly tell people that by the
time she graduates from high school, he'll be in a nursing home. One
day she asked. "Mom, you know how Dad always says he'll be in a
home when I graduate?" I nodded, expecting some sad question
about mortality. "Can I have the car then?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pregnant with our second child, I was determined to ride my exercise
bike at least two miles a day. Late one night, having put it off all day,
I climbed aboard the noisy contraption in our bedroom, where my
husband was reading a book. After about 20 minutes of listening
to the squeaky machine, he glanced up, somewhat annoyed,
"Don't you think it's time you turned around and headed for
home?" he asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stopped at a local convenience store the other day to fill up my
gas tank before heading back home. After pumping the gas I
headed in, grabbed a pack of gum, and got in line to pay. In the
front of the line was a tired looking woman, holding a toddler in
her arms. Behind her and just in front of me was an older man
with white hair and a white shirt.
He smiled kindly at me and patiently waited while the woman struggled
to hold her child while she counted out change with her free hand. She
searched twice in her pocket book but still didn't have enough money
to pay for the two gallons of milk she had brought to the counter. I
could see her lips tremble and her eyes moisten as she apologized and
picked up one of the gallons to take back.
It was then that the older man stopped her. With a gentle smile he told
the cashier that he would pay for the milk. The look of relief on the poor
woman’s face touched my heart. She thanked the older man while he
smiled again and said not to worry about it. As she exited the store I
could see that her eyes were still moist, but this time the tears were for
a different reason. As he paid for her milk and his own items the white
haired angel in disguise smiled at me one last time. Then as he was
walking out of the store he gave me a wink and said, "You can't take
it with you, you know."
Today's Links:
*some links may have adult contents on the same page, I have no control what
else appears on the page. Clicker beware!
Video Sneakers
http://tinyurl.com/l5d2oa
Great site for healthy living.
http://www.lime.com/
How The Average U.S. Consumer Spends Their Paycheck
http://www.visualeconomics.com/how-the-average-us-consumer-spends-their-paycheck/
Mighty Optical Illusions
http://www.moillusions.com/
Putt
http://www.matchpractice.com/game/
Survival Kits for parents
http://www.sawyers-specialties.com/survival-kits/
America's most expensive restaurant
The French Laundry is an American restaurant located in Yountville,
California,in the Napa Valley. The chef and owner of the French Laundry
is Thomas Keller. The restaurant is a perennial top five finisher in the
annual Restaurant Magazine list of the Top 50 Restaurants of the World.
http://bit.ly/mYXuT
Morning Glory pool at Yellowstone
http://eamazings.com/index.php/eamazings/morning-glory-pool-18072009.html
Game Baseball
Step up to the plate and see if you can hit a home run!
http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=baseball.swf
Armed Invasion Game
http://tinyurl.com/btoa68
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/btoa68"> Here </a>
Elite Corps Afghanistan
http://tinyurl.com/knhmo2
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/knhmo2"> Here </a>
Samantha Swift & the Golden Touch
http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8"> Here </
Stay Fit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfas.htm
Stethoscope
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsgtr.htm
China
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksd.htm
Super Models
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfqas.htm
Suzuki
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasas.htm
People populate the world. Teachers civilize it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
-25-
Ian Tyson, singer/recording artist/TV host, born Victoria, British Columbia 1933.
Royce Kendall "The Kendalls," born St. Louis, MO 1934.
Larry Sparks, bluegrass artist, born Lebanon, OH 1947.
Little Jimmy Dickens joined the Grand Ole Opry 1948.
Lefty Frizzell's "Always Late," went to #1 in 1951.
"Hank Williams Day" was proclaimed in Montgomery, AL 1954.
WSM president Jack DeWitt fired Grand Ole Opry manager Jim Denny in 1956. Conflict of interest, was the reason given for the termination. Walter D. Kilpatrick was hired to replace Denny.
The Browns "The Three Bells," went to #1 in 1959.
Loretta Lynn joined the Grand Ole Opry 1962.
The Statler Brothers debuted on the charts with "Flowers On The Wall" 1965.
Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "It Takes People Like You/You Left Her Lonely Too Long" 1967.
John Anderson's "Wild and Blue," hit the charts and became his first #1 in 1982.
Sara Evans married Craig Schelske 1993.
Valley Records released Gail Davies' "Live & Unplugged at the Station Inn" 2001.
LeAnn Rimes' single, "Can't Fight The Moonlight," certified gold 2001.
Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan were inducted into the New York State Country Music Hall of Fame 2004.
-26-
Shug Fisher, "Sons of the Pioneers" born Grady County, OK 1907.
Merrill Moore, singer/recording artist/piano session player, born Algona, IA 1923.
Marty Robbins born "Martin Robinson" near Glendale, AR 1925. This recording star/NASCAR driver/Grand Ole Opry member was elected to the NSHF 1975 and the CMHF 1982.
David Frizzell, younger brother of Lefty, born El Dorado, AR 1941.
Lynn Anderson, daughter of Liz Anderson, born Grand Forks, ND 1947.
Olivia Newton-John born Cambridge, England 1948.
Martin Delray born Texarkana, AR 1949.
Skeeter Davis debuted on the Opry 1953.
Carlene Carter born "Rebecca Carlene Smith," Madison, TN 1955. Carlene is the daughter of Carl Smith, and June Carter Cash.
Doug Supernaw born Bryan, TX 1960.
Buck Owen's recorded "You're For Me," 1961.
The Beverly Hillbillies debuted on CBS - TV 1962. The award winning theme song was played by Flatt & Scruggs, who appeared on the show from time to time.
Glen Campbell's single "It's Only Make Believe" charted 1970.
Dwight Yoakam's "Just Lookin' For A Hit," released 1989.
Capitol Nashville released John Berry's album "O Holy Night" 1995.
Elektra released Emmylou Harris' album "Wrecking Ball" 1995.
Keith Urban's single "Days Go By" topped the charts 2004.
-27-
"The Wreck of the Old 97," was inspired by a train wreck near Danville, VA in 1903.
Uncle Josh Graves, Dobro, born Burkett Graves, in Tellico Plains, TN 1928.
Marty Robbins married Marizona Baldwin 1948.
Sue Thompson debuted on the Opry 1952.
The Everly Brothers #1 hit "Wake Up Little Susie" charted 1957.
The National Life and Accident Insurance Company purchased the Ryman Auditorium, and renamed it the "Grand Ole Opry House," in 1963. The purchase price was $207,500.
Connie Smith debuted on the charts with "Once A Day," 1964.
Johnny Cash played to a sold out audience at the Hollywood Bowl 1969.
Paul Mullins "Traditional Grass," born Menifee County, KY 1973.
Charlie Monroe, age 72, died 1975.
Charlie Daniels' single "The Legend of Wooley Swamp" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 chart in 1980.
The first International Bluegrass Music Awards were held in Owensboro, Kentucky 1990.
Brooks & Dunn released "Waitin' on Sundown" on Arista 1994.
Randy Travis and wife Lib were traveling in a limo, from LAX to their California home, when the limo driver suffered a heart attack and died while driving, in 1998. Randy climbed into the front seat and brought the vehicle under control. All attempts to revive the driver were unsuccessful.
-28-
David Parker "Dad" Carter, "The Chuck Wagon Gang," born Milltown, KY 1889.
Joseph Falcon born Rayne, LA 1900. Falcon and wife Cleoma Breaux, recorded the first Cajun record in 1928.
Jim Boyd of the Cowboy Ramblers, born Fannin County, TX 1914.
Jerry Clower country comedy, born Liberty, MS 1926.
Jim Vienneau, MGM Records executive/producer, born Albany, NY 1926.
Tommy Collins born "Leonard Raymond Sipes," Bethany, OK 1930. Inducted NSHF September 19, 1999.
Country Johnny Mathis born Maud, TX 1933.
The "Brown Country Jamboree," debuted on WIBC in Bean Blossom, IN 1941.
Ronnie Reno, "The Reno Brothers," born Buffalo, SC 1947.
Laurie Lewis born Long Beach, CA 1950.
David Lynn Schnaufer, dulcimer, born Hearne, TX 1952.
Johnny Horton and Billie Jean Williams (Hank Williams's widow,) married 1953.
Brenda Lee released "Sweet Nothin's," 1959.
Matt King, singer/songwriter born North Carolina 1966.
Waylon Jennings "I'm A Ramblin' Man" topped the charts 1974.
Mandy Barnett singer/actress, born Crossville, TN 1975.
Johnny Cash was hospitalized with a sinus problem 1978.
Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "Hot Dog" 1988.
Garth Brooks released "In the life of Chris Gaines," 1999.
Renaissance released Lynn Anderson's "Anthology, Vol. 2: The Chart Years" 1999.
Hollywood Records released John Berry's album "Wildest Dreams" 1999.
RCA released Clint Black's "D'Lectrified" 1999.
Randy Kohrs and Shawnna Larkin married on stage at the Ryman Auditorium 2003.
The "Can't You Hear Me Callin' – Bluegrass: 80 Years Of American Music" four-CD set was released 2004. Alison Krauss & Union Station, and Patty Loveless were two of the artists who contributed to the project.
Thanks Bill
Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorr-@hotmail.com
**** Country Music News ****
Gayle to receive Hollywood star
Thursday, September 24, 2009 – Crystal Gayle will be honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday, Oct. 2. Tanya Tucker will be the guest speaker.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Country Hall of Fame looks to expand
Wednesday, September 23, 2009 – The Country Music Hall of Fame is looking to double in size, according to a report in The Tennessean.
Nashville Mayor Karl Dean announced the news during a speech on Monday.
Hall of Fame Director Kyle Young told the newspaper, "We really need to expand. We know what happens when you don't do that...It's good business to want to build on success."
The hall moved downtown from Music Row in 2001, The nearly140,000-square-foot building cost about $37 million. About 500,000 people visit annually.
Young and Dean met to talk about the expansion.
Dean indicated an expanded hall could be linked to a proposed downtown convention center and a 1,000-room convention center hotel. The hotel would be constructed just south of the hall.
"An expanded Country Music Hall of Fame has the potential to make Fifth Avenue an extension of what's already happening on Second Avenue and Broadway," Dean said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gill, Harris play Leno Wednesday
Sunday, September 27, 2009 – The upcoming Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum's All for the Hall Los Angeles fundraiser on Oct. 1 with Vince Gill, Emmylou Harris, Dwight Yoakam, Melissa Etheridge and friends performing together will be preceded the night before by a special duet from Harris and Gill on NBC's new primetime Jay Leno Show.
All for the Hall Los Angeles will offer an opportunity to see these singer-songwriters interact in a "guitar pull," where they will accompany one another as they take turns swapping songs, stories and personal recollections
The Museum launched All for the Hall, its' first-ever non-bricks-and-mortar fundraising campaign, in 2005. The campaign addresses the museum's need for long-term financial security and will provide a safety net for the institution and its work. This is the third year the event on the road, hosting previous All for the Hall events in New York in 2007 and 2008.
**** Amy's Kitchen ****
Diabetic Delight...
JUST PLAIN MEAT LOAF
Source: "1,001 Delicious Recipes for People with Diabetes"
1 cup quick cooking oats
1/2 cup fat-free milk
2 egg whites or 1/4 cup no-cholesterol real egg product
1/4 cup catsup or chili sauce
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1-1/2 pounds ground beef eye of round,
or 95% lean ground beef
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
Mix oats, milk, egg whites, catsup, onion, bell pepper, garlic,
and herbs in medium bowl. Mix in beef, salt and pepper until blended.
Pat mixture into ungreased loaf pan, 9x5 inches, or shape
into a loaf in baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees until juices
run clear and met thermometer registers 170 degrees, about
1 hour. Let stand in pan 5 minutes; remove to serving plate.
Yield: 6 servings (2 generous slices each)
Nutritional Information Per Serving (2 slices):
Calories: 241, Fat: 5.5 g, Saturated Fat: 1.8 g, Cholesterol: 64.3 mg,
Sodium: 489 mg, Protein: 31.2 g, Carbohydrate: 15.3 g
Diabetic Exchanges: 1 Bread, 3 Meat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Low / No Fat:
Low Fat Lemon Bars
For the Base:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup quick oats
3 tbsp butter
For theTopping:
1 egg
1 egg white
1 cup sugar
3 tbs flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt
Juice and zest of 1 large lemon
Confectioner's sugar, sifted, for sprinkling
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat an 8-inch square
baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. Combine flour,
oats and sugar in a medium bowl. Using a pastry blender,
add butter and blend until the mixture is crumbly.
Press crumbs into the bottom of the baking pan. Bake for
10 minutes until edges are golden.
Meanwhile, whisk egg and egg white. Add sugar and beat
until creamy. Add flour, baking powder, salt and lemon; whisk
until smooth.
Pour lemon mixture over pre-baked base. Bake for 20-25
minutes, or until center is set.
Cool in pan for 15 minutes, then transfer to wire rack to
cool completely.
Makes 16 squares.
Per Serving: Calories 133, Calories from Fat 24, Total Fat 2.8g
(sat 1.4g), Cholesterol 19mg, Sodium 15mg, Carbohydrate 25.1g,
Fiber 0.1g, Protein 2.1g
****A Parting Thought ****
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
Last Call Y'ALL
The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for
the worst, the yard foreman opened the door. "Is that yours?"
asked the officer, pointing to a company van that was jutting
out into the narrow street.
"Uhh, yes it is," said the foreman. "That is, it's our company's."
"Would you mind moving it?" asked the officer. "We've set up
a speed trap, and the van's causing everyone to slow down."
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Please
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally.
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
Everyone is fair game
The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.
We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscriber's
addresses to anyone for any reason.
Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.
Disclaimer : All of my materials are borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which ever you prefer.
~
To subscribe, http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies
Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
comments at: jim4-@verizon.net
Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
This document is virus free
Scanned by AVG edition 8.5.409
~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unsubscription Email:
Unsubscription URL:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------=_NextPart_001_0020_01CA3FB8.8794AAC0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD><TITLE id=ridTitle>Blank</TITLE>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=windows-1252"><BASE
href="file://C:\Program Files\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\Stationery\">
<STYLE>BODY {
MARGIN-TOP: 25px; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 25px; COLOR: #000000; FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica
}
P.msoNormal {
MARGIN-TOP: 0px; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; COLOR: #ffffcc; FONT-FAMILY: Helvetica, "Times New Roman"
}
LI.msoNormal {
MARGIN-TOP: 0px; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; COLOR: #ffffcc; FONT-FAMILY: Helvetica, "Times New Roman"
}
</STYLE>
<META content="MSHTML 6.00.6000.16587" name=GENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT size=6>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000 size=2><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><STRONG><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#000000 size=3>To
subscribe,</FONT> </FONT></STRONG><A
href="http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies" target=_blank
rel=nofollow><SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1193125905_0
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #dceeff"><FONT color=#003399
size=3><STRONG>http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></A><FONT
color=#0000ff><FONT
color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT><STRONG>
<HR>
</STRONG></DIV></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT size=6></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=6><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000 size=2>The Funnies are strictly a
<FONT size=3>DOUB</FONT></FONT><STRONG><FONT face=Arial color=#ff0000
size=2><FONT size=3>LE</FONT> opt-in service.THIS IS NOT
SPAM<BR></FONT></STRONG>
<HR>
<BR><IMG alt="" hspace=0 src="cid:40ED8F1A23C84E3B90FAC8E769B46C8D@BESSIE4"
align=baseline border=0><BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"><FONT
size=3><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>From Carlisle,Indiana<BR>U.S.A.<BR><FONT
color=#0000ff>Welcome to T</FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080 size=7><FONT face=Verdana><FONT size=3><STRONG><FONT
color=#0000ff>he Funnies<BR>est.7-4-2000
<BR><BR></FONT></STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT size=4><FONT size=5><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>These are <STRONG>clean jokes.</STRONG>
However,<BR>They are,<BR><STRONG>PG - Not intended for younger readers -
PG</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" color=#800000 size=6><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=4><FONT face="Edwardian Script ITC"
color=#800000 size=6><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT
face="Edwardian Script ITC" size=6><FONT face=Arial color=#000000><FONT
size=3><FONT color=#008000><STRONG>Monday
September 28,2009</STRONG></FONT><BR><BR><STRONG>Today's country
music video</STRONG>
:<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></P><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#008000><FONT face=Arial>
<H1>
<H1><FONT color=#000000 size=3><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cELNho6_Rw&feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff></FONT></A></FONT></H1><FONT color=#000000
size=3></FONT></H1><FONT size=3><FONT color=#000000>
<P align=center><STRONG><EM>Walkin' the floor over you - Ernest Tubb<BR></EM><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCFVR7cPbbA&feature=rec-HM-r2"><FONT
color=#0000ff><EM>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCFVR7cPbbA&feature=rec-HM-r2</EM></FONT></A><BR><BR><EM>Ernest
Tubb-Waltz across Texas.<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9GTKJrLgYc&NR=1"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9GTKJrLgYc&NR=1</FONT></A><BR><BR></P>
<H1><FONT size=3>Ernest Tubb-There' s a liitle bit of everything in texas<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrVXFEsHnbc&feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrVXFEsHnbc&feature=related</FONT></A><BR><BR>Ernest
Tubb-I'll Get Along Somehow<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTZUlf7zMHU&feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTZUlf7zMHU&feature=related</FONT></A><BR><BR>Ernest
Tubb - I Love You Because<BR><A
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5ffmDDaQs&feature=related"><FONT
color=#0000ff>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5ffmDDaQs&feature=related</FONT></A></FONT></H1>
<P align=center></EM></STRONG><STRONG>Yes folks, Youcan still buy GREAT COUNTRY
MUSIC at<BR>The Ernest Tubb Record Shops</STRONG><BR></P>
<P align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </P>
<P align=center><STRONG><EM>Thought For Today:</EM></STRONG>Do you want
some help using the Internet, son?<BR><BR>No thanks, Dad, I can screw it up all
by myself. </FONT><STRONG> <BR><BR><BR></STRONG><FONT color=#000000>As
the only vegetarian in my family, I often get tired of defending my food choices
to other family members, especially at the large dinner gatherings we have on
special occasions. I didn't realize how often the subject is actually discussed
until one day around Thanksgiving, when I picked up my six-year-old, Jordan,
from school. His class had made Thanksgiving turkey crafts using potatoes and
paper feathers.<BR><BR>Jordan proudly presented his to me, announcing
excitedly,"Mom, this year we'll finally have the kind of turkey even you can
eat!"<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>At the beginning of the school year, I asked my
Grade 2 students to write about something exciting they did that summer, then to
draw a picture to illustrate it. One student proudly presented his account of a
ride on a roller coaster, but he had not drawn a picture. When I asked why he
hadn't done this, he declared, "I couldn't: I didn't see anything because my
eyes were closed." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>At a family gathering, a husband
began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to
her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise."<BR><BR>"What is it when I
get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle."
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Old-fashioned Zachary approached Laura's father, intent
upon asking him for her hand in marriage. "Sir," he blurted out, "I have an
attachment for your daughter, and..." "See here, young man," interrupted Laura's
dad, "when my daughter needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>JUDGE: You claim you robbed the grocery store because
you were starving. So why didn't you take the food instead of the cash out of
the till?<BR><BR>BURGLAR: Your Honor! I'm a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule
to pay for everything I eat<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>QUESTION: Why does beer go
through your system so fast?<BR><BR>ANSWER: Because it doesn't have to stop and
change color. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Despite his low opinion of lieutenants,
the sergeant kept a respectful tone as he taught us how to bail out of a plane
in an emergency.<BR><BR>"Sirs, to open the hatch," he began, "turn this lever to
the right, then pull that handle."<BR><BR>"What if we don’t follow that
sequence?" a second lieutenant asked.<BR><BR>"Then, sir," said the sergeant
patiently, "you hit the hatch handle with a crash axe."<BR><BR>"That’ll open the
hatch?"<BR><BR>"No, sir. But it will keep your mind occupied until you crash."
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>While editing announcements for a newspaper, I came
across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma. Aside from all the
wonderful activities the kids could enjoy, such as canoeing, swimming, crafts
and more, it promised that its lakefront property offered something the kids
probably did not expect: "breathtaking views." <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>I have a
friend who saw her dream of proclaiming her love for tofu, mercilessly crushed
by the California Division of Motor Vehicles.<BR><BR>They absolutely prohibited
her from purchasing and displaying a vanity plate, designed to demonstrate her
affection for that bean-curd stuff. <BR><BR>The DMV claimed that the plate
would have been obscene. Kelley's plate was to have read: ILVTOFU. Now who
could mistake this wholesome sentiment for something else?
<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Q: What is the hardest part of skydiving?<BR><BR>A: The
ground.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Last June, my friend told me about her plans for
our upcoming prom. "I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new
dress, and I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she
said.<BR><BR>Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't spend that
much on my wedding."<BR><BR>My friend answered, "I can have three or four
weddings. But a prom you do only once. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>A mystery
writer giving a speech told her audience that her career path was laid out early
in her life. She explained that her parents guessed what she might become when
she was five years old. They read. "Humpty-Dumpty" to her and she wondered if he
was pushed. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>QUESTION: What letter should women
avoid?<BR><BR>ANSWER: The letter "A" because it makes men
mean<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life,
long after our two boys <BR>were born. She is the joy of my husband's life, but
he is self-conscious <BR>about being an older father. He likes to jokingly tell
people that by the <BR>time she graduates from high school, he'll be in a
nursing home. One <BR>day she asked. "Mom, you know how Dad always says he'll be
in a <BR>home when I graduate?" I nodded, expecting some sad question <BR>about
mortality. "Can I have the car then?" <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Pregnant with our
second child, I was determined to ride my exercise <BR>bike at least two miles a
day. Late one night, having put it off all day,<BR>I climbed aboard the noisy
contraption in our bedroom, where my <BR>husband was reading a book. After about
20 minutes of listening <BR>to the squeaky machine, he glanced up, somewhat
annoyed, <BR>"Don't you think it's time you turned around and headed
for<BR>home?" he asked. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR> I stopped at a local
convenience store the other day to fill up my <BR>gas tank before heading back
home. After pumping the gas I<BR>headed in, grabbed a pack of gum, and got in
line to pay. In the <BR>front of the line was a tired looking woman, holding a
toddler in <BR>her arms. Behind her and just in front of me was an older man
<BR>with white hair and a white shirt.<BR>He smiled kindly at me and patiently
waited while the woman struggled <BR>to hold her child while she counted out
change with her free hand. She <BR>searched twice in her pocket book but still
didn't have enough money<BR>to pay for the two gallons of milk she had brought
to the counter. I <BR>could see her lips tremble and her eyes moisten as she
apologized and<BR>picked up one of the gallons to take back.<BR>It was then that
the older man stopped her. With a gentle smile he told<BR>the cashier that he
would pay for the milk. The look of relief on the poor <BR>woman’s face touched
my heart. She thanked the older man while he <BR>smiled again and said not to
worry about it. As she exited the store I <BR>could see that her eyes were still
moist, but this time the tears were for<BR>a different reason. As he paid for
her milk and his own items the white<BR>haired angel in disguise smiled at me
one last time. Then as he was <BR>walking out of the store he gave me a wink and
said, "You can't take<BR>it with you, you
know."</FONT></P></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#0000ff size=3><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><FONT color=#0000ff size=3>
<DIV align=center><STRONG>Today's Links:</STRONG></DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#ff0000>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG>*some links may have adult contents on
the same page, I have no control what</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000><STRONG> else appears on the page. Clicker
beware!</STRONG></FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV></FONT>
<P align=center><FONT size=2>Video Sneakers<BR></FONT><A
title=http://tinyurl.com/l5d2oa href="http://tinyurl.com/l5d2oa"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/l5d2oa</FONT></A><FONT size=2> </FONT></P>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>Great site for healthy living.<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.lime.com/ href="http://www.lime.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.lime.com/</FONT></A><FONT size=2> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>How The Average U.S. Consumer Spends Their
Paycheck</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#0000ff size=2><A
title=http://www.visualeconomics.com/how-the-average-us-consumer-spends-their-paycheck/
href="http://www.visualeconomics.com/how-the-average-us-consumer-spends-their-paycheck/">http://www.visualec<WBR>onomics.com/<WBR>how-the-average-<WBR>us-consumer-<WBR>spends-their-<WBR>paycheck/</A></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2>Mighty Optical Illusions<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.moillusions.com/ href="http://www.moillusions.com/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.moillusi<WBR>ons.com/</FONT></A><FONT size=2>
<BR><BR>Putt<BR></FONT><A title=http://www.matchpractice.com/game/
href="http://www.matchpractice.com/game/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.matchpra<WBR>ctice.com/<WBR>game/</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Survival Kits for parents<BR></FONT><A
title=http://www.sawyers-specialties.com/survival-kits/
href="http://www.sawyers-specialties.com/survival-kits/"><FONT
size=2>http://www.sawyers-<WBR>specialties.<WBR>com/survival-<WBR>kits/</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2> America's most expensive restaurant</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>The French Laundry is an American restaurant located in
Yountville,<BR>California,in the Napa Valley. The chef and owner of the French
Laundry </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>is Thomas Keller. The restaurant is a perennial top five
finisher in the </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>annual Restaurant Magazine list of the Top 50 Restaurants of
the World.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A title=http://bit.ly/mYXuT href="http://bit.ly/mYXuT"><FONT
size=2>http://bit.ly/<WBR>mYXuT</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Morning Glory pool at Yellowstone</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A
title=http://eamazings.com/index.php/eamazings/morning-glory-pool-18072009.html
href="http://eamazings.com/index.php/eamazings/morning-glory-pool-18072009.html"><FONT
size=2>http://eamazings.<WBR>com/index.<WBR>php/eamazings/<WBR>morning-glory-<WBR>pool-18072009.<WBR>html</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2> Game Baseball</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A class=tiny><FONT size=2>Step up to the plate and see if you can hit a
home run!</FONT></A><FONT size=2> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><A title=http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=baseball.swf
href="http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=baseball.swf"><FONT
size=2>http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=baseball.swf</FONT></A></DIV>
<P align=center><BR><BR><FONT size=2>Armed Invasion Game <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/btoa68"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/btoa68</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/btoa68"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/btoa68</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Elite Corps Afghanistan <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/knhmo2"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/knhmo2</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/knhmo2"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/knhmo2</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</a><BR><BR>Samantha Swift & the Golden Touch <BR></FONT><A
href="http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/ozfjs8</FONT></A><BR><FONT size=2><a
href="</FONT><A href="http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8"><FONT
size=2>http://tinyurl.<WBR>com/ozfjs8</FONT></A><FONT size=2>"> Here
</<BR><BR>Stay Fit <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfas.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>sdfas.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Stethoscope <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsgtr.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>dsgtr.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>China <BR></FONT><A href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksd.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>jksd.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Super Models <BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfqas.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>dsfqas.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
size=2>Suzuki<BR></FONT><A href="http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasas.htm"><FONT
size=2>http://www.buffalos<WBR>chips.com/<WBR>dsfasas.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT
color=#000000>People populate the world. Teachers civilize it.<BR><FONT
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT></FONT><STRONG> </STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG>Please help, it won't cost ya a thing<BR>but it will
really feel good</STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT></FONT> <FONT
size=2>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000
size=1><STRONG>Free Food For Homeless Dogs<BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT
color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><FONT
color=#ff00ff size=2><STRONG>Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know. <BR></STRONG></FONT><A href="http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/"
target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.thebreastcancersite.com</STRONG></FONT></A><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR><FONT color=#008000
size=2><STRONG>Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation</STRONG></FONT><FONT
color=#000000 size=2><STRONG> <BR></STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.organdonor.gov/" target=_blank rel=nofollow><FONT color=#003399
size=2><STRONG>http://www.organdonor.gov/</STRONG></FONT></A><STRONG> </STRONG><FONT
size=2><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#000000
size=3>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2><STRONG>The
band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks<BR>for
*each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies<BR>to
help find a cure for autism. </STRONG></FONT></FONT></SPAN><BR><FONT
color=#0000ff size=2><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT><A
href="http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214"><FONT
color=#0000ff
size=2><STRONG>http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214</STRONG></FONT></A></FONT><FONT
size=2><BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></FONT><FONT size=2>About
Free Rice<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008080><FONT
size=5><FONT color=#000000><FONT size=3>Free Rice is a sister site of the world
poverty site<BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><A
href="http://www.freerice.com/about.html"><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3>http://www.freerice.com/about.html</FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#0000ff
size=3> </FONT><A href="http://www.poverty.com/"><FONT
size=3>Poverty.com</FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#ff00ff size=3><STRONG>No one
should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim<BR><FONT
color=#000000>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</FONT><BR></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG>No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.<BR></STRONG></FONT></P></FONT><FONT color=#0000ff>
<P align=center><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3><STRONG>****Bill's Country
Calendar </STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#000000
size=3><STRONG>****<BR></STRONG><FONT size=2><FONT color=#ca1010><EM>****This
Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission<BR>from
</EM>the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison ©
****<BR></FONT></P></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><FONT
size=2><I><FONT color=#008000>
<P align=center>-25-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ian Tyson, singer/recording artist/TV host, born Victoria,
British Columbia 1933.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Royce Kendall "The Kendalls," born St. Louis, MO 1934.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Larry Sparks, bluegrass artist, born Lebanon, OH 1947.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Little Jimmy Dickens joined the Grand Ole Opry 1948.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Lefty Frizzell's "Always Late," went to #1 in 1951.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>"Hank Williams Day" was proclaimed in Montgomery, AL 1954.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>WSM president Jack DeWitt fired Grand Ole Opry manager Jim Denny
in 1956. Conflict of interest, was the reason given for the termination. Walter
D. Kilpatrick was hired to replace Denny.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The Browns "The Three Bells," went to #1 in 1959.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Loretta Lynn joined the Grand Ole Opry 1962.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The Statler Brothers debuted on the charts with "Flowers On The
Wall" 1965.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "It Takes People
Like You/You Left Her Lonely Too Long" 1967.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>John Anderson's "Wild and Blue," hit the charts and became his
first #1 in 1982.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Sara Evans married Craig Schelske 1993.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Valley Records released Gail Davies' "Live & Unplugged at
the Station Inn" 2001.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>LeAnn Rimes' single, "Can't Fight The Moonlight," certified gold
2001.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan were inducted into the New
York State Country Music Hall of Fame 2004.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>-26-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Shug Fisher, "Sons of the Pioneers" born Grady County, OK
1907.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Merrill Moore, singer/recording artist/piano session player,
born Algona, IA 1923.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Marty Robbins born "Martin Robinson" near Glendale, AR 1925.
This recording star/NASCAR driver/Grand Ole Opry member was elected to the NSHF
1975 and the CMHF 1982.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>David Frizzell, younger brother of Lefty, born El Dorado, AR
1941.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Lynn Anderson, daughter of Liz Anderson, born Grand Forks, ND
1947.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Olivia Newton-John born Cambridge, England 1948.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Martin Delray born Texarkana, AR 1949.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Skeeter Davis debuted on the Opry 1953.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Carlene Carter born "Rebecca Carlene Smith," Madison, TN 1955.
Carlene is the daughter of Carl Smith, and June Carter Cash. </P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Doug Supernaw born Bryan, TX 1960.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Buck Owen's recorded "You're For Me," 1961.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The Beverly Hillbillies debuted on CBS - TV 1962. The award
winning theme song was played by Flatt & Scruggs, who appeared on the show
from time to time.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Glen Campbell's single "It's Only Make Believe" charted
1970.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Dwight Yoakam's "Just Lookin' For A Hit," released 1989.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Capitol Nashville released John Berry's album "O Holy Night"
1995.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Elektra released Emmylou Harris' album "Wrecking Ball" 1995.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Keith Urban's single "Days Go By" topped the charts 2004.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>-27-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>"The Wreck of the Old 97," was inspired by a train wreck near
Danville, VA in 1903.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Uncle Josh Graves, Dobro, born Burkett Graves, in Tellico
Plains, TN 1928.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Marty Robbins married Marizona Baldwin 1948.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Sue Thompson debuted on the Opry 1952.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The Everly Brothers #1 hit "Wake Up Little Susie" charted
1957.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The National Life and Accident Insurance Company purchased the
Ryman Auditorium, and renamed it the "Grand Ole Opry House," in 1963. The
purchase price was $207,500.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Connie Smith debuted on the charts with "Once A Day," 1964.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Johnny Cash played to a sold out audience at the Hollywood Bowl
1969.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Paul Mullins "Traditional Grass," born Menifee County, KY
1973.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Charlie Monroe, age 72, died 1975.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Charlie Daniels' single "The Legend of Wooley Swamp" debuted on
Billboard's Top 40 chart in 1980.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The first International Bluegrass Music Awards were held in
Owensboro, Kentucky 1990.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Brooks & Dunn released "Waitin' on Sundown" on Arista 1994.
</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Randy Travis and wife Lib were traveling in a limo, from LAX to
their California home, when the limo driver suffered a heart attack and died
while driving, in 1998. Randy climbed into the front seat and brought the
vehicle under control. All attempts to revive the driver were unsuccessful.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>-28-</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>David Parker "Dad" Carter, "The Chuck Wagon Gang," born
Milltown, KY 1889.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Joseph Falcon born Rayne, LA 1900. Falcon and wife Cleoma
Breaux, recorded the first Cajun record in 1928.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jim Boyd of the Cowboy Ramblers, born Fannin County, TX
1914.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jerry Clower country comedy, born Liberty, MS 1926.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Jim Vienneau, MGM Records executive/producer, born Albany, NY
1926.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Tommy Collins born "Leonard Raymond Sipes," Bethany, OK 1930.
Inducted NSHF September 19, 1999.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Country Johnny Mathis born Maud, TX 1933.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>The "Brown Country Jamboree," debuted on WIBC in Bean Blossom,
IN 1941.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Ronnie Reno, "The Reno Brothers," born Buffalo, SC 1947.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Laurie Lewis born Long Beach, CA 1950.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>David Lynn Schnaufer, dulcimer, born Hearne, TX 1952.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Johnny Horton and Billie Jean Williams (Hank Williams's widow,)
married 1953.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Brenda Lee released "Sweet Nothin's," 1959.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Matt King, singer/songwriter born North Carolina 1966.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Waylon Jennings "I'm A Ramblin' Man" topped the charts 1974.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Mandy Barnett singer/actress, born Crossville, TN 1975.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Johnny Cash was hospitalized with a sinus problem 1978.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "Hot Dog" 1988.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Garth Brooks released "In the life of Chris Gaines," 1999.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Renaissance released Lynn Anderson's "Anthology, Vol. 2: The
Chart Years" 1999.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Hollywood Records released John Berry's album "Wildest Dreams"
1999.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>RCA released Clint Black's "D'Lectrified" 1999.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center>Randy Kohrs and Shawnna Larkin married on stage at the Ryman
Auditorium 2003.</P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P align=center></P>
<P>The "Can't You Hear Me Callin' – Bluegrass: 80 Years Of American Music"
four-CD set was released 2004. Alison Krauss & Union Station, and Patty
Loveless were two of the artists who contributed to the project.</P>
<P align=center></I></FONT><STRONG>Thanks Bill<BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><A
href="http://www.rockabillyhall.com/rcnv.html"><FONT color=#000000
size=1><STRONG>Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views"
Page</STRONG></FONT></A><BR><FONT color=#000000><STRONG><EM><FONT
size=2>Compiled by Bill Morrison -
billmorr-@hotmail.com</FONT></EM></STRONG></A><BR></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT><BR></FONT><FONT
color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT
color=#008000><FONT size=3><STRONG> <BR>**** Country Music News
</STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#008000><STRONG><FONT size=3>****<BR></FONT><FONT
size=3>Gayle to receive Hollywood star</FONT></STRONG></P>
<DIV><FONT size=3><STRONG>Thursday, September 24, 2009 – Crystal
Gayle will be honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday, Oct.
2. Tanya Tucker will be the guest speaker.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~<BR></STRONG>Country
Hall of Fame looks to expand<BR>Wednesday, September 23, 2009 – The Country
Music Hall of Fame is looking to double in size, according to a report in The
Tennessean. <BR>Nashville Mayor Karl Dean announced the news during a speech on
Monday. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>Hall of Fame Director Kyle Young told the newspaper, "We
really need to expand. We know what happens when you don't do that...It's good
business to want to build on success." </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>The hall moved downtown from Music Row in 2001, The
nearly140,000-square-foot building cost about $37 million. About 500,000 people
visit annually. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>Young and Dean met to talk about the expansion. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>Dean indicated an expanded hall could be linked to a proposed
downtown convention center and a 1,000-room convention center hotel. The hotel
would be constructed just south of the hall. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>"An expanded Country Music Hall of Fame has the potential to
make Fifth Avenue an extension of what's already happening on Second Avenue and
Broadway," Dean said. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Gill, Harris play Leno
Wednesday<BR>Sunday, September 27, 2009 – The upcoming Country Music Hall of
Fame and Museum's All for the Hall Los Angeles fundraiser on Oct. 1 with Vince
Gill, Emmylou Harris, Dwight Yoakam, Melissa Etheridge and friends performing
together will be preceded the night before by a special duet from Harris and
Gill on NBC's new primetime Jay Leno Show. <BR>All for the Hall Los Angeles will
offer an opportunity to see these singer-songwriters interact in a "guitar
pull," where they will accompany one another as they take turns swapping songs,
stories and personal recollections</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3>The Museum launched All for the Hall, its' first-ever
non-bricks-and-mortar fundraising campaign, in 2005. The campaign addresses the
museum's need for long-term financial security and will provide a safety net for
the institution and its work. This is the third year the event on the road,
hosting previous All for the Hall events in New York in 2007 and
2008.</FONT></DIV></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<P align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT size=4><FONT
color=#000000><BR><FONT size=3><FONT color=#008000><STRONG>****</STRONG>
<STRONG>Amy's Kitchen</STRONG> <STRONG>****</STRONG> </FONT><BR></P>
<DIV>Diabetic Delight...</DIV>
<DIV> JUST PLAIN MEAT LOAF<BR>Source: "1,001 Delicious Recipes for People
with Diabetes"<BR><BR> 1 cup quick cooking oats<BR> 1/2 cup fat-free
milk<BR> 2 egg whites or 1/4 cup no-cholesterol real egg product<BR>
1/4 cup catsup or chili sauce<BR> 1/2 cup chopped onion<BR> 1/4 cup
chopped green bell pepper<BR> 1 clove garlic, minced<BR> 1 teaspoon
Italian seasoning<BR> 1-1/2 pounds ground beef eye of
round,<BR> or 95% lean ground beef<BR> 3/4 teaspoon
salt<BR> 1/2 teaspoon pepper<BR><BR>Mix oats, milk, egg whites, catsup,
onion, bell pepper, garlic,<BR>and herbs in medium bowl. Mix in beef, salt and
pepper until blended.<BR>Pat mixture into ungreased loaf pan, 9x5 inches, or
shape<BR>into a loaf in baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees until juices<BR>run
clear and met thermometer registers 170 degrees, about<BR>1 hour. Let stand in
pan 5 minutes; remove to serving plate.<BR><BR>Yield: 6 servings (2 generous
slices each)</DIV>
<DIV>Nutritional Information Per Serving (2 slices):<BR>Calories: 241, Fat: 5.5
g, Saturated Fat: 1.8 g, Cholesterol: 64.3 mg,<BR>Sodium: 489 mg, Protein: 31.2
g, Carbohydrate: 15.3 g<BR>Diabetic Exchanges: 1 Bread, 3
Meat<BR> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</DIV>
<DIV>Low / No Fat:</DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#000000 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="12"></FONT> <STRONG>Low Fat Lemon Bars<BR></STRONG>For the
Base:<BR>1 cup all-purpose flour<BR>1/4 cup sugar </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#000000 size=3 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="12">1/2 cup quick oats<BR>3 tbsp butter<BR><BR>For theTopping:<BR>1
egg<BR>1 egg white<BR>1 cup sugar</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=0 face=Arial color=#000000 size=3 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
PTSIZE="12">3 tbs flour<BR>1/4 tsp baking powder<BR>Pinch of salt<BR>Juice and
zest of 1 large lemon<BR>Confectioner's sugar, sifted, for
sprinkling<BR><BR>Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat an 8-inch square <BR>baking
pan with nonstick cooking spray. Combine flour, <BR>oats and sugar in a medium
bowl. Using a pastry blender,<BR>add butter and blend until the mixture is
crumbly. <BR>Press crumbs into the bottom of the baking pan. Bake for <BR>10
minutes until edges are golden. <BR>Meanwhile, whisk egg and egg white. Add
sugar and beat <BR>until creamy. Add flour, baking powder, salt and lemon; whisk
<BR>until smooth. <BR>Pour lemon mixture over pre-baked base. Bake for 20-25
<BR>minutes, or until center is set. <BR>Cool in pan for 15 minutes, then
transfer to wire rack to <BR>cool completely. <BR>Makes 16 squares.
<B><BR><BR></B>Per Serving: Calories 133, Calories from Fat 24, Total Fat 2.8g
<BR>(sat 1.4g), Cholesterol 19mg, Sodium 15mg, Carbohydrate 25.1g, <BR>Fiber
0.1g, Protein 2.1g </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><BR> </DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT color=#008000>****A Parting Thought ****</FONT></STRONG><BR>I
don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.<BR><STRONG><FONT color=#008000><BR>Last
Call Y'ALL<BR></DIV>
<DIV>The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for </DIV>
<DIV>the worst, the yard foreman opened the door. "Is that yours?" </DIV>
<DIV>asked the officer, pointing to a company van that was jutting </DIV>
<DIV>out into the narrow street. <BR>"Uhh, yes it is," said the foreman. "That
is, it's our company's." <BR>"Would you mind moving it?" asked the officer.
"We've set up </DIV>
<DIV>a speed trap, and the van's causing everyone to slow down."
</FONT></STRONG><BR></DIV></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><FONT
color=#000000><FONT size=3></FONT><BR><BR></FONT><FONT color=#0000ff><FONT
size=4><BR><STRONG>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+<BR></STRONG></FONT><STRONG><FONT
size=4><FONT color=#ff0000>Hey, Let's be careful out
there<BR></FONT>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+</FONT><BR>Please<BR></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG>Don't take anything you see in the Funnies
personally. <BR>The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing
more.<BR>Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target
here.<BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>Everyone is fair
game</FONT><BR>The Funnies are strictly an opt-in
service.<BR></STRONG><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>We do not sell, lease, loan, or
give our subscriber's <BR>addresses to anyone for any reason.</FONT> <BR>Our
features are intended to be for entertainment only.<BR></STRONG></DIV></DIV>
<DIV align=center></FONT></FONT>
<DIV align=center><FONT color=#008080><FONT color=#008080><STRONG><FONT
color=#ff0033><FONT class=Verdana14>Disclaimer : </FONT></FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8 color=#000000>All of my materials are borrowed </FONT><FONT
color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>from various areas on the web <FONT
color=#000000><FONT class=Verdana8>and from my readers. All are
</FONT><FONT class=Verdana8>believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright
o</FONT></FONT>n any of these materials </FONT></FONT></STRONG><FONT
color=#000000><STRONG><FONT class=Verdana8>please </FONT><FONT
class=Verdana8>inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which
ever you prefer. </FONT><BR></STRONG></FONT><STRONG>~<BR></STRONG><STRONG><FONT
color=#000000 size=3>To subscribe,</FONT> <A
href="http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies" target=_blank
rel=nofollow><SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1193125905_0
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #dceeff"><FONT color=#003399
size=3><STRONG>http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></A><FONT
color=#0000ff><FONT color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><BR></STRONG><FONT
size=3><BR><STRONG>Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
<BR>Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or <BR>comments at:
</STRONG><A
href="mailto:jim4-@verizon.net"><STRONG>jim4-@verizon.net</STRONG></A><FONT
color=#000000><BR></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000000 size=3><BR>Jim
Dowers<BR>P.O. Box 521 <BR>Carlisle, IN 47838-0521</FONT><FONT
color=#008080><BR><BR><FONT
size=3><STRONG>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&<BR><BR></STRONG></FONT></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>God Bless America , </FONT><FONT
color=#0000ff>Our Land</FONT></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#ff0000 size=3><STRONG>
, Forever May She Stand<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG>&&&&&&&&&&<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT
size=3><STRONG>This document is virus free<BR>Scanned
by </STRONG></FONT><FONT size=3><STRONG><FONT color=#008000><FONT
color=#008080>AVG edition
8.5.409</FONT><BR></FONT>~<BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#ff0000
size=3><STRONG>
<HR>
</STRONG><FONT color=#000000 size=4>Unsubscription Email:<BR></FONT><FONT
color=#000000 size=4>Unsubscription URL: </FONT><STRONG>
<HR>
</STRONG></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></BODY></HTML>
------=_NextPart_001_0020_01CA3FB8.8794AAC0--
|
|
 |
|