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The Price of Postponement
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David Carbonell, Ph.D.
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Oct 03, 2005 07:37 PDT
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THE ANXIETY COACH®
Helping People Thrive in an Anxious World
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Volume 6, Issue 9
IN THIS ISSUE
Dr. Carbonell writes about what happens when people postpone
dealing with a phobic situation.
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INDEX
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1. Dave's Note
2. The Price of Postponement
3. About The Anxiety Coach®
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Dave's Note
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September 30, 2005
Dear Reader,
In November, I'll present a short talk on the treatment of
panic disorder at the annual conference of the Illinois
Psychological Association. For details, visit this link:
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See you next month!
Dave Carbonell
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The Price of Postponement
by
David A. Carbonell, Ph.D.
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I was struck by a trend among some of my clients this week.
They act as if postponing activities they fear will help
them feel better, and more secure, even though most of the
evidence in their lives points to the opposite conclusion.
For instance, I saw a man who struggles with a fear of public
speaking. His boss wants him to talk to a staff meeting on a
topic he knows better than anyone. He knows he has to do it,
sooner or later. But he makes a variety of excuses and
postpones it as much as he can.
There's a man who's been afraid of highway driving for a
long time, and he'll have to do some regular highway
driving for his new job. He knows he'll have to do it,
but he continues to put it off as long as he can. Sooner or
later, if he doesn't start traveling on his own, his boss
will tell him to get going. But his strategy is to stall and
avoid as long as possible.
In both cases, these men suffer, every day, as they wake to
the gnawing worry that the feared activity awaits them.
Countless times throughout the day, they are reminded of
what they're postponing, and every time they feel the dull
pressure of worry.
In these kinds of situations, people tend to overlook the
down side of postponement. It's this.
**Anticipation is typically the high point of anxiety**
People usuallly find that when they finally confront the
situation they fear, their anxiety goes down. A speaker
generally has his worst moments just before the talk. A
driver generally feels most anxious just before turning
onto the road he fears.
When you postpone the event you fear, you actually extend
the time of your high anxiety. You have more total
discomfort than you would have had without the postponement.
That's certainly the case with the two men I described above.
Every day, they experience the peak anticipatory anxiety,
and put off the relief they'll feel when they finally
confront it.
It's like the person who lingers at the water's edge,
gingerly splashing water on his calves in an effort to
persuade himself to jump in.
It just prolongs the misery!
Postponing can be useful. If I have a credit card with a 0%
interest rate, I'll make the minimum payment each month, and
postpone paying off the balance as long as possible. That's
a good thing, because it doesn't cost me a cent. I'll pay
it off as slowly as they'll allow.
But if they're charging me 15% or more, I'm going to pay
that off as fast as I can, because those interest charges
really add up quickly. The longer I wait to pay up, the
more it costs me.
Postponement isn't always good or bad, and there are some
times when postponing can work in your favor. But before
you postpone confronting a phobia, review your actual
history with this fear. How has your anticipatory anxiety
compared to your actual experience when you confronted the
situation or activity?
If you find, as most people do, that your anticipatory
anxiety is far worse than what you actually experience in the
situation, then postponement is not your friend!
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THE ANXIETY COACH®
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The Anxiety Coach® is a publication of the Anxiety
Treatment Center, Ltd. The Center is a small group of
clinical psychologists who specialize in the treatment of
anxiety problems. The Center has offices in Chicago and
several nearby suburbs.
Dr. Carbonell, a licensed psychologist, is the founder and
director of the Anxiety Treatment Center.
The information contained in this publication is not a
substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals.
Each individual's health concerns should be evaluated by a
qualified professional.
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SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
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CONTACT INFORMATION
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David A. Carbonell, Ph.D.
Anxiety Treatment Center, Ltd.
E-mail: dire-@anxietycoach.com
Web: http://www.anxietycoach.com
1340 Remington Road, Suite D
Schaumburg, IL 60173
847.605.0453
© 2005, Anxiety Treatment Center, Ltd.
All rights reserved.
Anxiety Coach® is a registered mark of Anxiety Treatment
Center, Ltd.
Distribution Rights: The above material is copyrighted,
but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you
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may not copy it to a web site without prior permission.
Reprint permission will be freely granted, upon request,
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