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Thoughts vs Experience
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David Carbonell, Ph.D.
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Mar 02, 2006 12:40 PST
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THE ANXIETY COACH®
Helping People Thrive in an Anxious World
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Volume 7, Issue 2
IN THIS ISSUE
Dr. Carbonell writes about a man who learned to trust his
experience, rather than his thoughts, as he worked to overcome
anxiety and depression.
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INDEX
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1. Dave's Note
2. Which Do You Trust? Thoughts vs Experience
3. About The Anxiety Coach®
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Dave's Note
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March 2, 2006
Dear Reader,
The annual conference of the Anxiety Disorders Association
of America will take place March 23-26 in Miami. It's a
great conference for both professionals and consumers with
a need to learn more about anxiety disorders. For
information and registration, visit:
http://www.adaa.org/conference&events/AnnualConference.asp
If you're a professional therapist in the Chicago area, you
may be interested in a seminar I'll give entitled "Breaking
the Panic Trick: A Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Panic
Disorder". This will take place March 24, 8:30 - 11:30 am,
at Behavioral Health Services on the campus of Central DuPage
Hospital, 27 W 350 High Lake Road, in Winfield. Admission is
$25; it offers 3 CEU's for IAODAPCA, LCPC,LCSW.
Call 630.933.4234 to register.
I'll also be presenting my day-long workshop, "Breaking the
Panic Cycle", in the following cities between now and July:
May: Memphis and Nashville, TN
June: Eau Claire, WI; Bloomington and Minneapolis, MN
July: Charlotte, Winston-Salem, and Raleigh, NC
For information and registration, visit this link:
http://www.pesihealthcare.com
and search amongst the mental health workshops,listed by
state.
And if you're looking for my "Panic Attacks Workbook", you
can purchase it on my website, at:
http://www.anxietycoach.com/book.htm
See you next month!
Dave Carbonell
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Which Do You Trust? Thoughts vs Experience
by
David A. Carbonell, Ph.D.
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Recently I started working with a man who's trying to
overcome a difficult case of social phobia and depression.
He's been spending almost all his time at home, basically
not doing much, due to his social fears of dealing with
people. Naturally, this adds to his depression, and makes
him more afraid as well.
With my encouragement, he worked out a basic schedule of
daily events for himself, so he could get into a routine of
leaving his house and becoming involved in some activities.
This week, when he came in for his weekly visit, he told me
that he'd succeeded in going to the gym four times during
the week, but that it was hard to get there. He told me
that he'd spent a lot of time "fighting to go to the gym"
each morning.
Getting to the gym is a valuable activity for him. He told
me that "each time I go, I feel better. If I don't go, I
feel horrible".
I asked him to describe the "fighting" to me. He wasn't sure
how to answer that, so I explained that I wanted to know
exactly what the fight consisted of - how he fought, and so
on.
He described the process to me, and it became apparent to
both of us that he was talking about making the decision to
go to the gym. That's what the fighting was, in his mind,
making the decision.
I said to him "You feel good each time you go, is that
right?", and he agreed. I said "You feel horrible each time
you don't go, right?", and he agreed again.
So I asked him "Is this the decision you spend hours on?
Trying to decide whether to feel good or horrible?".
He had a good laugh about that.
We talked about it some more, and it became clear to us both
that the "fighting" and decision making was more about a
thought he'd have. When he got ready to go to the gym, he'd
have the thought "It doesn't matter if I go or not", and
become embroiled in a struggle with it. This struggle
postponed, often cancelled, his gym visit.
I pointed out that this thought was quite different from his
actual experience. In his actual experience, it mattered a
great deal if he went to the gym. If he went, he felt good.
If he stayed home, he felt horrible.
He agreed this was true. He said that the thought was just
part of his depression.
I asked him to imagine getting a phone call each morning from
somebody, certainly not a friend, who asked him to stay home
that day in order to feel horrible.
He said it would take about 2 seconds to decide. Not three
or four hours. But because the thought came from his own
mind, he often got into a struggle with it. He didn't
usually notice that the thought was completely at odds with
all his actual experience.
This week I asked him to work at recognizing this thought,
"it doesn't matter if I go or not", as the voice of
depression talking. Rather than get into an argument
with it, I asked him to allow himself to have the thought.
He could have the thought, and accept it, but still act on
the basis of his experience, rather than what the depression
tells him.
We can have all kinds of thoughts - true, false, helpful,
unhelpful, and so on. We don't get to decide what kind of
thoughts we have.
But experience - we only have one kind of experience. Real
experience.
If you struggle in a similar way with fears and depression,
see if you can identify the thoughts with which you struggle.
See how they compare to your actual experience.
Then go with your experience, rather than the thought.
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THE ANXIETY COACH®
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The Anxiety Coach® is a publication of the Anxiety
Treatment Center, Ltd. The Center is a small group of
clinical psychologists who specialize in the treatment of
anxiety problems. The Center has offices in Chicago and
several nearby suburbs.
Dr. Carbonell, a licensed psychologist, is the founder and
director of the Anxiety Treatment Center.
The information contained in this publication is not a
substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals.
Each individual's health concerns should be evaluated by a
qualified professional.
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SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If you received this copy from a friend or colleague and
want your own (free) subscription, you can subscribe at
http://www.anxietycoach.com/newsletter.htm.
If you would like to see past issues of our newsletter,
you will find them in the archive at:
http://www.topica.com/lists/anxietycoach/read.
To unsubscribe, follow the link at the very end of this
newsletter.
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CONTACT INFORMATION
++++++++++++++++++++++
David A. Carbonell, Ph.D.
Anxiety Treatment Center, Ltd.
E-mail: dire-@anxietycoach.com
Web: http://www.anxietycoach.com
1340 Remington Road, Suite D
Schaumburg, IL 60173
847.605.0453
© 2006, Anxiety Treatment Center, Ltd.
All rights reserved.
Anxiety Coach® is a registered mark of Anxiety Treatment
Center, Ltd.
Distribution Rights: The above material is copyrighted,
but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you
wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or
deleted, including the contact information. However, you
may not copy it to a web site without prior permission.
Reprint permission will be freely granted, upon request,
to periodicals and non-profit educational and service
organizations.
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