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Getting Past Anxious Thoughts
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David Carbonell, Ph.D.
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Jul 01, 2006 09:13 PDT
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THE ANXIETY COACH®
Helping People Thrive in an Anxious World
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Volume 7, Issue 6
IN THIS ISSUE
Dr. Carbonell answers a reader's question about thought stopping.
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INDEX
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1. Dave's Note
2. Getting Past Anxious Thoughts
3. About The Anxiety Coach®
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Dave's Note
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June 30, 2006
Dear Reader,
In July, I'll be at several locations in North Carolina,
offering my workshop for professional therapists in the
treatment of panic disorder. Here's the schedule.
July 19: Charlotte
July 20: Winston-Salem
July 21: Raleigh
For information and registration, visit this link:
http://www.pesihealthcare.com
and search amongst the mental health workshops.
See you next month!
Dave Carbonell
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Getting Past Anxious Thoughts
by
David A. Carbonell, Ph.D.
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In the March issue ("Traveling in Circles"), I wrote about
a man whose struggle to stop his anxiety had become a self
defeating exercise which maintained, rather than reduced,
his anxiety. When I first suggested to him that it might
be better to accept the anxiety and focus instead on his
true goals and aspirations, he said "But I've been marching
down this road a long time, I don't want to turn back now".
He thought about it for a few moments, and then said "I guess
it's actually a cul-de-sac, isn't it?"
A cul-de-sac, of course, is a little road that just loops in
a circle, and if you keep marching down that road, you're
just going in circles. I thought that was a nice analogy for
the way anxiety works.
A number of readers wrote in with comments and questions,
and here is what one reader asked.
#############################################################
Can you please address how one STOPS going around the cul de
sac. I know there is a simple answer, just stop!! But this
really doesn't address what makes it so hard or how to stop
your mind from the thoughts or the impulses that keep driving
you around and around especially when it seems as if the
steering wheel is stuck or when you get into a certain gear
you just can't seem to change it.
#############################################################
What makes it so hard? A big part of the answer is right
there in this e-mail, the part that refers to "how to stop
your mind from he thoughts..."
Don't try to stop your mind from the thoughts.
Your mind doesn't work that way. When you try to censor your
thoughts in this way, you get the same results that come from
banning books. It just creates more interest!
Maybe you're thinking now, "what about thought stopping? How
about that technique of snapping a rubber band against my
wrist to get rid of thoughts?". This has been a popular
technique for some reason, but it rarely works, at least for
the kinds of anxiety problems I discuss here. Thought
stopping? Don't even think about thought stopping!
Imagine the following scenario. You have a good friend, a
friend who is an interesting, enjoyable companion. You enjoy
the friendship. But this friend has a notable shortcoming.
Whenever you drive somewhere together, this friend becomes
unreasonably anxious. He becomes a back seat driver who
forgets that you have been driving without accident for more
than 20 years. He monitors your every move, and second
guesses it. He constantly urges you to go faster, go slower,
change lanes, watch out, and so on.
In other walks of life - maybe advice about your kids, or
your garden - this friend has very helpful ideas. He's not
an idiot. But he has this blind spot that becomes apparent
every time you drive somewhere. Once you get home, he
apologizes, says he was over-reacting, and promises to do
better next time. But you know he never changes this habit.
Since you enjoy the friendship, you do your best to hear
his carping about your driving without taking it seriously.
You don't argue about it with him because he really can't
help himself. You accept the fact that he has this limitation.
You periodically tease him about it, but basically you hear
and disregard it, and drive as you see fit.
Your mind is just like that friend.
Your mind is a valuable guide in a lot of situations. But
in some situations, particularly a moment of high anxiety,
your mind is all thumbs.
Your thinking, decision making mind is often a poor guide
as you try to find your way out of a panic attack or a
powerful obsession. That's okay. You don't always have to
follow its direction, nor do you need to silence or correct
it. When you come to see, from your own experience, that
your mind is misleading you with respect to anxiety, let your
experience determine your responses, rather than your mind.
The best way to do that is to rely on some simple approach
that doesn't require a lot of intellectual effort or ability
to remember, one that helps you get back into action, rather
than debating the thoughts. This is what's so useful about
the AWARE steps for responding to panic. If you're not
familiar with AWARE, have a look at:
http://anxietycoach.com/pan7.htm
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THE ANXIETY COACH®
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The Anxiety Coach® is a publication of the Anxiety
Treatment Center, Ltd. The Center is a small group of
clinical psychologists who specialize in the treatment of
anxiety problems. The Center has offices in Chicago and
several nearby suburbs.
Dr. Carbonell, a licensed psychologist, is the founder and
director of the Anxiety Treatment Center.
The information contained in this publication is not a
substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals.
Each individual's health concerns should be evaluated by a
qualified professional.
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SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
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If you received this copy from a friend or colleague and
want your own (free) subscription, you can subscribe at
http://www.anxietycoach.com/newsletter.htm.
If you would like to see past issues of the newsletter,
click on the newsletter link (above) and follow it to the
archive.
To unsubscribe, follow the link at the very end of this
newsletter.
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CONTACT INFORMATION
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David A. Carbonell, Ph.D.
Anxiety Treatment Center, Ltd.
E-mail: dire-@anxietycoach.com
Web: http://www.anxietycoach.com
1340 Remington Road, Suite D
Schaumburg, IL 60173
847.605.0453
© 2006, Anxiety Treatment Center, Ltd.
All rights reserved.
Anxiety Coach® is a registered mark of Anxiety Treatment
Center, Ltd.
Distribution Rights: The above material is copyrighted,
but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you
wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or
deleted, including the contact information. However, you
may not copy it to a web site without prior permission.
Reprint permission will be freely granted, upon request,
to periodicals and non-profit educational and service
organizations.
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