|
Country Singles December newsletter
|
Harlan. Jacobsen
|
Nov 29, 2007 09:27 PST
|
COUNTRY SINGLES NEWSLETTER 11-29-07 Issue 114
Copyright 2007
http://www.countrysingles.com
========================================================
I N T H I S I S S U E:
** The Terrors of Mingling
** Got the holiday blues?
** How the holiday season can improve your social life
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- How many friends is too many?
-- Feminists make the best sweethearts.
-- When you and your cellphone are one.
~ ~ ~ ~ HAPPY HANUKKAH! ~ ~ ~ ~
* * * * MERRY CHRISTMAS! * * * *
---------------------------------------
For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
---------------------------------------
The TERRORS of MINGLING
How to manage holiday parties when you hardly know a soul
“The New York Times” described it as “Jingle bells, mingle hell” -- the
abundance of holiday parties and the discomfort of handling unfamiliar
social territory.
That includes company or client holiday parties, invites from friends of
friends, and being hauled along to get-togethers as someone you barely
know’s date.
The primary anxiety, says the Times, is “social phobia” — fear of not
knowing how to interact with strangers.
“At parties,” says one expert, “you have to remember that no one is
thinking about you.” In other words, nearly everyone else is just as
terrified, so you might as well relax. Other pointers:
~Plan an opening line, such as “How is your holiday season going?”
If the person isn’t responsive, move on.
~You can start by introducing yourself. If you know hardly anyone
there, say so.
~“Don’t be a barnacle” — no more than fifteen minutes with one
person. The goal is to circulate.
~Avoid telling jokes.
~Don’t ask “What do you do?” when you’ve just met someone. It
sounds mercenary.
~Have a conversation escape plan. such as heading to the buffet or
restroom.
~If your eyes are going to scan the room, do it while you are
talking. When the other person is talking, pay attention.
========================================================
Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
========================================================
Got the holiday blues?
10 SPIRIT-LIFTERS
Whether you’re stressed out from having too much to do, or blue from
feeling left out of the goings-on, now is the time to take better care
of yourself.
Taking time for yourself actually makes you stronger and more capable of
handling the challenges that come your way. “Vitality” magazine offers
a number of pointers:
1. Reading biographies encourages self-reflection and can show you
how others have handled difficult times in their lives.
2. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, head outdoors. One study found
that after just 15 minutes outside, people felt more alert and focused.
For added benefits, get some time in the sun.
3. Boredom and unhappiness can go together. Set a difficult but
attainable goal. When you achieve it, set another. “A sense of
accomplishment leads to contentment.”
4. Exercise lifts your mood by influencing the chemicals in your
blood stream. Climb the stairs for five minutes or take a ten minute
brisk walk. Research shows that over time a regular exercise routine
cuts depression as effectively as antidepressants.
5. To reduce negative self-talk, stand on one leg. Your brain will
eliminate distractions in order to concentrate on keeping your balance.
6. A long hot shower or soaking in a warm bathtub can wash away
stress.
7. Clutter clogs your mind. If you’ve got some extra time, sort out
and donate or throw away “stuff” you don’t need or use.
8. Need to work off some aggressions? Popping bubble wrap can
lower your heart rate and blood pressure.
9. If things are worrying you, make a list, then mark which you have
actual control over and which you don’t. Let go of worrying about what
you can’t control.
10. Plan a “date night” with yourself. (If your plan includes tv,
skip violent programs and the news.) Instead of stressing out about
what you “should” be doing, concentrate on relaxing, then getting a good
night’s sleep.
-------------------------------------
HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
-------------------------------------
SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Friends Is Too Many?
A recent “Wall Street Journal” article questioned whether having large
numbers of "friends" on social networking sites actually harms your
real-life relationships. A research study in1993 estimated that most
people have a ceiling of about 150 social contacts. While technology
may appear to push that number, experts note that spending time online
to interact with large numbers of people can weaken "close
relationships" -- defined as people you turn to when in severe distress.
Feminists Make the Best Sweethearts.
A recent study by Rutgers University of 513 college students and 471
adults ages 18-65 found that women who consider themselves feminists are
more likely to be in romantic relationships than those who do not.
Self-identified feminists were as likely as non-feminists to be
heterosexual and to consider themselves attractive. Women in a
relationship with a man with feminist thinking had the healthiest
relationships in terms of quality, equality, stability, and sexual
satisfaction, compared to women in relationships with non-feminist men.
Men in relationships with female feminists had greater sexual
satisfaction and greater relationship stability, and the same equality
and stability as men with non-feminist women.
Your Tummy Likes Chocolate.
A recent Swiss study, published in the “Journal of Proteome Research,”
found that people who crave chocolate have somewhat different stomach
microbes than people who don't. (People naturally have trillions of
bacteria in the stomach and intestines.) Apparently the
chocolate-loving bacteria are pretty common -- the study was delayed a
year until the researchers could find eleven men who didn't eat
chocolate.
When You and Your Cellphone Are One.
Some people now experience cellphone separation anxiety, according to a
recent Associated Press story. "Many mobile-phone addicts and
BlackBerry junkies report feeling vibrations when there are none, or
feeling as if they're wearing a cellphone when they're not." One
researcher attributes this to fear of isolation and rejection; the brain
becomes overly attuned to scanning for someone to respond to, leading to
a feeling of not being "whole" without the phone.
Quotables.
“A clear conscience is a continual Christmas.” Benjamin Franklin.
“A hug is a perfect gift for Christmas; one size fits all and it’s
easily returned.” Evelyn Beilenson, quoted in “Guideposts” magazine.
---------------------------------------
Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up
for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to
dating_agai-@topica.com. It’s informative and it’s free!
---------------------------------------
How the Holiday Season Can Improve Your Social Life
by Janet L. Jacobsen, from the book “Dating Success - 45 Proven
Pointers”
Many singles seem to disappear from the social scene between
Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some really are busy with the extra holiday
demands of work and family. Others stay home because a) they think
everyone is busy except them or b) they don't want people to think they
aren’t busy.
Yet many singles actually find themselves with more time than usual
during the holidays, since friends may be unavailable for regular
activities, or the children may be away visiting the other parent.
The holidays offer ways to actually reduce the stress of dating. One
problem in first dates is the perceived pressure to spend money, and the
resulting sense of obligation by the other person. During the holidays
many of the logical date ideas are inexpensive. Most communities offer
a great number of free or inexpensive events -- choral programs,
community pageants, and elaborately decorated neighborhoods, for
instance.
Many shopping malls will have almost continual entertainment and
imaginative decoration. Window shopping can be a fun date in a
wonderfully decorated shop or mall, provided you don’t wind up feeling
pressured to buy each other gifts. For a window shopping date, plan a
stop for coffee or dessert after the mall walk; the time in the
restaurant comes to an easier end than calling a halt to wandering the
stores.
Also, because of the assumed time pressures of the holidays, it’s a good
season to ask for “short” dates (which are the most likely to be
accepted any time of the year, actually). Let the person know you're
only expecting a short time together. Meet at a busy mall for hot
chocolate and window shopping. Browse a crafts fair together. Have pie
and coffee mid-afternoon on Saturday at a cozy cafe.
Be sure you honor the time agreement; don’t act dejected when they say
they have to go. On the other hand, if you’re both having so much fun
you want to stretch out the time, it’s fine, but don’t assume that’s
going to happen, and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t.
Don’t take it personally if the object of your interest doesn’t have a
lot of free time just now. If they say, “I’ll have a lot more time
after Christmas,” by all means give them a call on the 26th.
The holidays offer a good time to expand your social circle by giving a
party. You can invite relatively casual acquaintances who you’d like to
get to know better to “drop in” on a particular afternoon or evening.
But be sure to invite long-time friends too, especially those you know
will show up and stay awhile, since the stress of who -- if anyone --
will actually show up can spoil the day for you.
Take advantage of the “free time” many people have between Christmas and
the New Year. Some folks have the whole week free, and it’s a time when
very few public activities are scheduled, for some reason. Make dates,
give a party, organize some recreation like sledding or cross-country
skiing.
If you take advantage of its many opportunities, the holiday season can
be very good for your social life.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Give the Gift of Happier Dating!
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
How to connect with interesting people
How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
A great gift for all your single friends!
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, Box 9666 Dept. E, Scottsdale AZ
85252-9666. Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Limited time offer: Order today and receive FREE Dr. Jacobsen’s
audiocassette “How to Meet People.”
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
|
|
 |
|
