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Country Singles April Newsletter
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Harlan. Jacobsen
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Mar 30, 2008 17:02 PST
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COUNTRY SINGLES NEWSLETTER 3-30-08 Issue 118
Copyright 2008
http://www.countrysingles.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Living After Loss
** Are you rejecting yourself?
** Restaurants Begin to Offer Bargains
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Are singles causing global warming?
-- Alone but not lonely.
-- Feeling depressed? Could be the coffee.
** Fun Things to Do in April
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spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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Restaurants Begin to Offer Bargains
High end places likely to make the first move
One of the first places Americans cut spending if they feel financially
pinched is in where they spend their restaurant dollars. So the "hot
spots" are now having to work harder to get your attention and that can
be good news for dating. The pricey places get a little less pricey (or
at least have more special offers) and the mid-range places get more
competitive in response.
Look for happy hour specials that were formerly only available on
weekdays to move into weekends too. Reverse happy hours (special prices
later in the evening) will turn up in places that didn't have them
previously.
Fancier spots are likely to first lower food prices or offer specials in
their bar areas. Some restaurants will add to their bar menu.
If there's a restaurant you're interested in trying, call ahead and ask
whether they currently have any special offers. Rather than lower their
regular prices, restaurants will create more special offers or
combination prices that give you significant bargains if you take the
time to look for them.
I recently saw an article about a very expensive restaurant in my area
that is offering a three course dinner-for-two special certain nights a
week through May for $100 -- a major steal at this location.
Of course they are hoping you get carried away and run up the tab with
drinks and wine, but you don't have to! Just be sure you and your date
have an understanding BEFORE you get to the restaurant about how you are
keeping things affordable.
Even lunch prices -- generally less expensive compared to dinner menus
-- seem to be getting more competitive. By noticing ads and paying
attention to the menu, these days you can spot some dating-while-dining
bargains.
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Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up
for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to
dating_agai-@topica.com. It’s informative and it’s free!
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Are singles causing global warming?
That's the impression you could get from a recent article in Reader's
Digest on how to conserve energy and live "green." One of their tips:
Stay married; divorce leads to more households, which consume more
energy. With logic like that, we all ought to live in dorms.
Single moms a growing group.
Nearly 40% of babies born in the US in 2006 were born to unwed mothers,
reports USA Weekend. About half of these moms are living with a
boyfriend, says Stephanie Coontz, research director of the Council on
Contemporary Families. Relationship ambivalence is a key factor, says
Coontz. "They are more afraid of marrying the wrong man and
experiencing a divorce than of being an unwed mom."
Alone but not lonely.
In a recent interview actor Matthew McConaughey talked about the single
life. "Being lonely sucks. But being alone is cool. I love my
solitude. I love my time alone. If you have a good relationship with
yourself and you have a good relationship with God, then you can sit
happily alone and not be lonely."
Feeling depressed? Could be the coffee.
Feeling anxious or depressed? You could be getting too much caffeine.
People "dependent" on caffeine (if you can't go without coffee, that's
you) are 30 percent more likely to experience depression and anxiety,
compared to those who aren't regular caffeine drinkers. Coffee isn't
the only source of caffeine; colas count too.
Ladies, lack of assertiveness hurts your health.
Squashing your feelings can be hard on your health. Readers' Digest
reports on a ten year study of people who held back their feelings in
arguments with their significant others. Women who did so were four
times more likely to die during the study. (There was no affect for
men, however.) Learning to speak up assertively will help you live
longer, ladies.
Quotable.
"Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife."
Actress Shelley Winters.
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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Living After Loss
Healthy steps in dealing with grief
Grief doesn't only come when a loved one dies, but also with the death
of any major relationship. Other things too can be emotionally
devastating. The death of a pet, moving to a new place, or being
"downsized" from your job can leave you with a profound sense of loss.
Recently "Vitality" magazine interviewed Bob Deits, author of "Life
After Loss," and offered advice on how to achieve wholeness after losing
important people, places and things in your life.
Healthy grieving isn't a passive experience, just waiting for time to go
by. While everyone grieves differently, healing generally follows some
common paths, which can be made easier by understanding what is normal
along the way.
Emotional protections
Especially if the loss is sudden, for the first several days you are
likely to feel stunned, shocked and overwhelmed. Your emotions
essentially pull back to allow you to process the loss gradually. "The
important thing to know about shock is that it's a necessary first step
to recovery," says Deits.
Anger, blame and disbelief can all be part of what is called the
"denial" stage, another way we commonly withdraw from emotional pain.
Even anger toward a person who died can be typical as we go through
feelings of abandonment. People who don't realize that the reaction is
a normal response may experience the added burden of a sense of guilt
over their anger.
Moving forward
The "acknowledgement" phase involves gradually taking charge of your
life; forward and backward steps eventually lead to balance as you
accept that the loss is permanent and real. It can be a long process (a
year is not uncommon) of moving on to the "new normal" of your life.
Seeing a grief counselor or being in a support group can help facilitate
the process.
One sign that you are getting beyond the more difficult stages of grief
is when you being asking yourself "how" questions, instead of "why."
"How can I learn from this? How can I become a better person because of
this experience?"
Making the journey from hurt to wholeness leaves you with the knowledge
that you are stronger than you were before.
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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Disconnecting
Are you rejecting yourself?
by Janet L. Jacobsen, Ph.D. Excerpted from the book
“Dating Success: 45 proven pointers”
If the person you’ve been dating (or trying to date) has told you
several times to go away, sooner or later you ought to accept the
rejection and move along. For most of us, though, the problem is that
we pre-reject ourselves.
When you read interesting personals but never answer them, you have not
escaped rejection. When you decide that someone you’ve seen at a party
really doesn’t want to meet you, or probably isn’t interested in dating
right now, you have not escaped rejection, you’ve simply rejected
yourself.
Social skills are learned skills, including the ability to meet people
and to carry on conversations. Maybe you aren’t necessarily a big hit
at first, but you get better with practice. When you reject yourself,
you guarantee that you won’t make any progress, period.
So the “success” of a social interaction is not in any particular
outcome, but in the fact that you’re in there trying. Like Babe Ruth,
in order to hit home runs, you must also be willing to strike out.
Besides, other singles appreciate how difficult the whole social process
can be. They are generally much more understanding and tolerant of
major social flub-ups when the person is making a sincere effort, than
they are of minor flubs from people who seem to think they already know
it all.
And asking people for advice or help on how to handle situations is also
usually more endearing than upsetting. It’s a good idea, in fact, to
say, “I’d like to go with you to the opera/hockey game, but I’ve never
been and I’m not sure how to act. But I’ll go if you’ll coach me along
the way.”
Not meeting people because you pre-reject yourself is not the way to a
happier social life. Playing the game, even with the occasional strike
out, is.
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WHY MAKE THE TYPICAL DATING MISTAKES?
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
How to connect with interesting people
How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, Box 9666 Dept. E, Scottsdale AZ
85252-9666. Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
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