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Country Singles December newsletter
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Harlan. Jacobsen
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Nov 28, 2008 18:23 PST
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COUNTRY SINGLES NEWSLETTER 11-28-08 Issue 126
Copyright 2008
http://www.countrysingles.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** New Goals for the New Year - and how to achieve them
** Good Grief -- Healing from emotional loss
** Christmas, New Year's Eve -- and you're alone?
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Tall tales men tell.
-- Asking for small favors can build friendships.
-- How to sleep better.
** Fun Things to Do in December –
Holiday Date Ideas to Enjoy
~~~~~Happy Hanukkah!~~~~~~
~~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!~~~~~~
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Maintain those friendships!
"Shape" magazine cautions that friendships need love too. That is, be
sure you give your friends attention, like you would family or a
significant other. "Be enthusiastic, do special activities together,
and keep one another updated on developments in your daily lives."
Tall tales men tell.
Cornell University researchers found that in online personals, 53% of
men add at least a half inch to their height.
Asking for small favors can build friendships.
Though it sounds counter-intuitive, asking someone to do you a small
favor can improve the relationship. It gives the person a feeling of
self-satisfaction. And, according to a Harvard Medical School expert,
it increases the likelihood the person will ask you to do small things
for them, further building the relationship. Don't let things get too
out of balance, though. If they've already done you a favor or two,
look for unobtrusive ways to be helpful to them.
How to sleep better.
"Vitality" magazine offers these tips for getting a better night's
sleep. Shoot for at least two to three hours between eating and
bedtime, and between exercise and bedtime. Limit your caffeine intake,
particularly close to bedtime. Develop a sleep routine -- regular
bedtimes and wake-up times. Recognize unresolved worries and anxieties
and develop strategies to help you set them aside at night. If this
proves difficult, consider counseling to help you sort out your options.
Christmas quotables.
"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a
thunderstorm, and we all go through it together." Garrison Keillor.
"Faith is the voice in back of your head that tells you to listen to
the voice in the back of your head." Dennis Miller.
"For fast-acting relief, try slowing down." Lily Tomlin.
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Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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New Goals for the New Year - and how to achieve them
1. When you've got a new goal in mind, write it on a card or slip of
paper and put it where you will see it at least 20 times a day. If no
spot gets that much of your attention, use multiple cards in multiple
places, such as on the refrigerator door, bathroom mirror, and next to
your computer. "Redbook" magazine says that these little regular
reminders will help you pay attention to what's important to you.
2. Create an "I wish I could" list and do at least one thing on your
list each month, says "Woman's Day" magazine. You'll gain new
experiences and skills, and build your sense of achievement.
3. Give it a try! Do something that can become a regular event if you
like it, or a positive experience if once was enough. Some examples:
Give blood. Try an ethnic restaurant you've never tried. Attend a
lecture or workshop on something new that interests you.
4. Shake yourself up; small changes in your routine are energizing.
Drive a different route to work. Change the font on your emails. Move
where you sit at the dinner table. Rearrange some furniture. Take
public transportation, or park a bit away from your destination so you
get a walk. Small changes require you to pay more attention, which
makes you more alert.
5. Shrink your stress. Proactive steps to make each day more
pleasant:
* Get enough sleep. (Naps count!)
* Get some exercise. (Take a flight or two of stairs; gradually
increase frequency and number of floors!)
* Eat better. (Think of places to cut small amounts of sugar,
caffeine, and processed foods. One less donut a week; one bottle of
water instead of soda.)
* Don't multi-task. (It makes you feel overloaded. Tackle things one
at a time.)
* Learn to say no. (If that's really hard, take a "new
responsibilities" sabbatical in your personal life. Then you aren't
saying no, you're saying "Ask me again in six months.")
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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Good Grief -- Healing from emotional loss
Grief is a normal response to the loss of a loved one, whether through
death, divorce, or a relationship parting. Understanding the grief
process can help you heal, says "Vitality" magazine.
1. Grief is the emotion felt over the loss of something or someone
dear to you. Grieving time is influenced by many factors, positive and
negative. Common -- and appropriate -- emotions include disbelief,
shock, despair, sadness, and guilt.
2. Typically people go through five stages of grief: Denial, anger,
bargaining, depression, acceptance.
3. Emotional support from people who are sensitive and understanding
is an important part of healing. Helpful sources of support include
close friends, family, your religious community, grief support groups,
psychotherapists, or grief counselors.
4. Good self-care includes getting enough sleep, eating a healthy
diet, regular exercise, and as much as possible maintaining your normal
routine. Most important, be patient with yourself.
5. Grief is a normal emotional process. However, if prolonged it can
lead to depression. People who find their grief debilitating, who have
thoughts of suicide, or who are still struggling after six months,
should seek professional counseling.
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Give the Gift of Happier Dating!
A great gift for all your single friends!
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
*How to connect with interesting people
*How to end a relationship
*Tips on using the personals
*Important pointers for planning dates
*How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, 6802 E Loma Land Dr., Scottsdale AZ 85257.
Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm. Satisfaction
Guaranteed!
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Christmas, New Year's Eve -- and you're alone?
by Harlan Jacobsen
Alone for Christmas? Today more than 25% of American households are
one person, living alone. Some single parents find themselves suddenly
alone as the children go off to spend the school break with the ex.
As a single, many holidays are hard to get through. Traditional family
holidays are worst. Christmas for a lonely single without a family can
be a nightmare. Even though you are not prone to feeling lonely,
holidays can get to you.
The fourth of July you can usually get away or there is something
doing, but Christmas keeps getting to you as friends keep reminding you
by saying, "Merry Christmas." It's hard to bring work home from the
office and cover your time that way at Christmas. That worked fine for
Labor Day and other holidays, but somehow it just doesn't work out at
Christmas.
With children, you can sometimes feel so hassled and harried getting
everything just so for them that you're glad when it's over and you just
didn't have time to feel lonely. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes you try to compensate for that hollow "alone" feeling by
being overly generous with presents, ending up in the depths of poverty
in January. Cheaper, at least, to spend lots of time making your
presents too pretty to open.
This doesn't have to be just another lonely holiday season to be
endured, though. You have options!
1. Take a trip to a place that won't remind you of childhood
Christmas. You can go with or without a friend.
2. If you're a single parent, invite a single friend of either sex and
share the Christmas morning glee.
3. Invite other "alones" over, any time during the holidays. Bringing
people together almost invariably brings happiness, especially during
the holidays.
4. Get some single friends together (both sexes) and visit those less
fortunate -- an old folks' home, VA hospital, etc. Jointly accept
responsibility for some unfortunate family's happiness over the
holidays. There is no better way for you to chase the blues.
5. The very best way to cope with holiday depression is to develop new
meaningful relationships with people -- male and female -- who you can
count on to spend the holidays with you.
6. So the holiday invitations aren't exactly stuffing your mailbox.
Throw a get-together at your house. Company is the best antidote for
misery.
7. Do yourself a favor. Spend some money on something you've always
wanted; save it for the holidays.
8. Call an old friend and talk.
9. Attend holiday singles activities, visit with your new "singles"
family. Wish all your single friends a happy holiday.
10. Go off your diet. Buy those delicacies you've been avoiding and
treat yourself just this once. Go easy on the booze, though.
Over-indulgence is likely to lead to deeper depressions.
11. Arrange well ahead of time to attend some special holiday event
with an interesting date.
12. Volunteer yourself at your place of worship or social agency that
has special one-time needs, like an "angel tree" program or holiday
dinner for the poor.
13. You're about to start a new year. Begin early to work on the new
you. Figure out what it is you want out of single life and start in
that direction now.
You are basically a goal-seeking mechanism. Unless you have some sort
of goal of what you want out of life and work toward it, you are more or
less drifting, a victim of circumstances. If you want more fun and
enjoyment out of life, more success, meeting the right person, whatever,
start in that direction now.
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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FUN THINGS to DO in DECEMBER
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Holiday Date Ideas to Enjoy
by Janet L. Jacobsen
With the holiday season here, the almost limitless number of special
events make this a great season for dating. And they range from the
more expensive concert spectaculars to absolutely free fun finds.
Nearly every choir, band, and orchestra around will be giving a concert
somewhere, sometime in the next weeks -- some with admission prices, and
many free.
'Tis the season to be browsing, and why not take a date? Make it clear
you're planning an evening of window-shopping and a stop for coffee.
Avoid the mega-malls and choose areas more suitable to strolling.
No need for gifting your date, but if you would like a trinket to help
remember the evening, an out-of-the-ordinary Christmas tree decoration
can be an inexpensive treasure.
You can make the coffee stop more than every day too, by having just
dessert at an up-scale restaurant or at one where dessert is the point,
like a pie shop.
Other seasonal specialties that make great date events:
1. Take a driving tour of home Christmas lighting, or a walk at
area lighting extravaganzas.
2. If there's snow, go cross-country skiing. The ski centers often
rent out the necessary equipment.
3. Or just put on the mittens and out to play in the snow a bit. Take
a thermos of hot chocolate.
4. Go ice-skating at a rink that rents skates.
5. Museums generally have special holiday-related exhibits.
~~~~~Happy New Year!~~~~~~
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