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Country Singles July newsletter  Harlan. Jacobsen
 Jun 29, 2009 15:05 PDT 

Copyright 2009
I N   T H I S   I S S U E:

**   How Your Local Newspaper Can Make Dating More Fun
**   Manners Help Handle Hard Times
**   Are You Ready for Dating?

** National Singles News Briefs, including
      --   Tips on twittering.
      --   Never again, says Brinkley.
      --   Vasectomies on the rise?

** Fun Things to Do in July

~~Happy 4th of July!~~~

Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.

The Economy and the Divorce Rate

"Conventional wisdom" says that divorce rates rise in times of economic
stress, says the Arizona Republic newspaper, but the current situation
seems to be having the reverse effect, keeping some couples together.
Normally times of financial strain, such as high unemployment, increase
stress in relationships and result in more divorces.

Today a key factor may be the housing market. It can be difficult to
try to "divide" a house with a substantially reduced value, or where
more is owed than the value of the house. Says one source, "The easy
way out before would be to leave them, but now the easy way out is not
to leave them."
Nevertheless, says a divorce attorney, "Most people, if they want a
divorce, they're going to find a way to get a divorce."


How Your Local Newspaper Can Make Dating More Fun

by Janet Jacobsen

Your local newspaper is a great resource to enhance your dating life, if
you read it with an eye for what's useful.

1. Date ideas. Community events, arts and culture, and the local
calendar section are all great sources for ideas on out-of-the-ordinary
things to do on a date. Spotting something that's of interest to the
other person, that they would otherwise have missed, gets you bonus
points for thoughtfulness.

2. Helpful information. Newspapers regularly feature articles on
topics such as how to improve your communication, get along better with
your children or co-workers, or how to enjoy life more.

3. Carrying on a conversation. Sure you can Google what interests
you, and the CNN headlines cover "current" events, but there's nothing
like paging through the national and local news to help you be
up-to-date and loaded with conversational topics. "I just saw an
article about X. What do you think of the topic?" is a great way to
fill a conversational lull on a dinner date.

4. Coupons and discounts. Most newspapers have a "grocery flier" day
that may include useful coupons. Traditionally the Sunday papers are
the big coupon source. A two-for-one coupon to a favorite restaurant
can save you much more than the cost of the paper. In fact, if it's a
super favorite and the coupon has a distant enough expiration date, it's
well worth it to buy multiple copies of the paper.

Today many local restaurant ads include a special offer or discount.
Look for these in the calendar or entertainment sections.

Plus, these days newspapers regularly feature tips on saving money,
including special discounts and promotions for everything from grocery
produce to musical theater.


HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.


Manners Help Handle Hard Times

"USA Weekend" magazine recently reported that stress is a major cause of
rudeness. So now is a good time to prepare yourself to make the most of
your manners. Among their suggestions:

Evaluate your behavior and anticipate the likelihood of rudeness. "Be
even more patient and understanding with the world at large."

Don't let money woes mess up your relationships. Realize that others
may have concerns about spending.

Watch out for others who may not be coping well. Depression may become
more common. Be support and a good listener. Respect other's privacy
by keeping things confidential.

Be a prophet of boom, not doom. Focus on positive events. Optimism is

Make time to reassure others. Spend quality time with friends and
family. Let them know that they matter, not their circumstances.

Communicate often. "Nothing dispels anxiety like the flow of candid


Vasectomies on the rise?
Vasectomy is an "almost infallible" form of birth control and a safer,
simpler operation than sterilization for women, yet the procedure has
been much less common. "USA Today" reports that some areas of the
country are now seeing an increase in vasectomies, attributed to the
current economic conditions.

Tips on twittering.
Twitter is a free micro-blog service that lets you send 140-character
text messages to multiple recipients. Amassing "followers" has replaced
amassing Facebook friends as the in thing to do. "USA Weekend" offers
these tips to increase your popularity: Tweets about what you're doing
are boring. Be provocative by offering your thoughts on "culture,
politics, life." Don't be rude or mean. Use complete sentences to
respond to those who reply to you, so others can follow the

Think before you tweet!

Beware of violating your own privacy – and safety – with what you post
on social networking sites and systems. Recently an Arizona couple
returned from vacation to find that their home had been burglarized.   
He has 2,000 Twitter followers, related to his business, and as they
left on vacation they posted tweets such as “another ten hours of
driving” and “made it to Kansas City.”

Never again, says Brinkley.
Model Christie Brinkley, four times married and divorced, told "Ladies
Home Journal" recently that she'll never get married again. "With what
I know, I don't see why anyone would get married."

Need to cheer up? Clean house!
"Health" magazine reports that 98% of us say that living in a clean
home makes us feel good about ourselves.

"Do something for someone every day, even if it's to leave them alone."
Ruth Adams, in "Guidepost" magazine.

For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.

Are You Ready for Dating?
Think you’re over your last relationship and ready to date again?
Take this helpful quiz!

by Harlan Jacobsen

Are you really ready for dating? Is your last relationship crimping
your style now? Here’s how to know.

1. Do you feel “it just isn’t fair” if your ex is dating extensively
and you are not?

2. Would it please you -- would you go out of your way -- to have your
ex see you somewhere with an attractive member of the opposite sex?

3. Do you find it difficult or impossible to go to social functions for
singles alone, without someone else along?

4. If your ex gets into heavy dating, do you have a strong feeling that
the children are being neglected?

5. Do you sort of have the feeling that if a relationship is not
forever it is nothing?

6. Do you still see yourself as sort of a failure as a result of your

7. Are you still angry at your ex for not living up to your
expectations in your last relationship?

8. Do you still feel that being single is one heck of a hassle and that
being married was much more comfortable?

9. Do you still talk about your divorce several times a week?

10. Do you still have trouble totally trusting someone of the opposite

11. Do you still feel emotionally drained?

12. Do you evaluate people of the opposite sex according to how good a
marriage prospect they may be?

13. Are you searching, hoping to get married again?

14. Are you very strongly opposed to the idea of ever getting married

15. If you are a man, do you feel that all single women are trying to
marry? If you are a woman, do you feel that all men want is to get you
in bed?

16. Do you find that you seem to attract mostly losers?

17. Do you wince at either the word “dating” or “single”?

18. When talking about your former spouse, do you still often refer to
him/her as my husband/wife?

19. Do you feel you are not really dating material?

20. Are you greatly afraid of getting really involved and hurt again?

21. Do you feel like damaged goods or like you are on a used spouse

22. When you go out or think about going out where other singes are, do
you feel like everyone is looking at you as if you were wearing an “I’m
available” sign?

23. Do you think it’s necessary to figure out what the other sex “wants
to hear” to get anywhere the second time around?

24. Do you sort of feel that anyone who would want to be associated
with worthless you is probably worthless, too?

25. Do you feel that the majority of singles are losers?

26. Would you have trouble staying at home Friday or Saturday night by
yourself doing nothing in particular without feeling bad?

If you answered yes to five or more questions, you still have some
things to work through that are impeding successful dating.

Go directly to a divorce recovery class or to counseling. Do not pass
GO; do not collect $200.

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