|
EGR: Look On My Works, Ye Mighty
|
Christopher Locke
|
Oct 05, 2001 03:14 PDT
|
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gonzo Marketing: Winning through Worst Practices
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738204080/entropygradientr
be the first kid on your block!
http://www.gonzomarkets.com
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Valued Readers:
AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV
What a trip! It's way past my normal bedtime (???), but no way was I
going to take a pass on telling you about this one. So yesterday, the
Amazon sales rank for Gonzo Marketing was like 13,685. Today I watched
it climb as high as 71. Fuh-uuuh-uuuuck! (Let's see the firewall
filters catch that one.)
BE A MILLIONAIRE LIKE OTHERS WITHIN A YEAR!!!
Anyway, you can imagine how very pleased I was at this excellent news.
I celebrated by urinating off several Interstate overpasses. Yee-hah!
Look, it's Colorado, alright?
DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM
HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER.
At the moment, the book is hanging onto its top-100 ranking by a
thread. By the time you get this, it'll probably be back in the
shitter. Well, pluck your magic twanger, Froggy! But what a ride. It
almost felt for a second there like I was back in the game. Dang. You
could give me that real-good feeling again, you know, just by clicking
on that big 'ol URL above. C'mon, you know where it is. Would it help
if I said I didn't have long to live? No more'n 40 or 50 years max, I
figure.
****PRINT THIS NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE****
As to the NEXT book, I dunno. The Bombast Transcripts hits in January,
and I've got a real bad feeling this one could fuck me up something
fierce. I mean, I just re-read Gonzo Marketing -- the actual book
arrived from the printer late last week -- and I'll be damned, it's
not half as bad as I thought. For one thing, I can't believe what I
got away with! But *some* people might take it seriously, you know?
There are one or two halfway sane ideas in the thing, and who knows,
it *could* catch on. But then, right behind it comes this Bombast
abomination -- all that EGR shit to finally and irrevocably brand me
as a walking timebomb of mentalcase recidivism. You could say I was
having second thoughts.
FOLLOW THE SIMPLE INSTRUCTION BELOW AND YOUR
FINANCIAL DREAMS WILL COME TRUE, GUARANTEED!
I guess it's possible some of this may have sneaked into the preface I
wrote a couple days ago. Which could explain why Perseus Publishing
strongly suggested I should try again. Oh well, at least this way I've
got something to throw at you guys. Though I really can't understand
why they didn't like it. Given the way I feel right now, I thought it
was pretty upbeat. See what you think...
The Bombast Transcripts
Author's Last Warning
It's coming to me now, hold on... The haze is lifting, the image is
becoming clearer. Ah yes, I see you now, standing in a bookstore
isle, wondering whether to purchase this very volume. What the hell
is this thing, you're wondering. Who is this person? Do I really
want to know?
There are no answers to these questions. No good ones, anyway. This
is my last chance to warn you. Do yourself a favor and put the book
back on the shelf. Do it now. Walk away. Don't even finish reading
this page. Because if there's one book you simply mustn't miss this
year, it isn't this one. This one you can miss safely. In fact,
you'll be considerably safer if you do. You'll sleep better at
night. You'll advance in your work. Enticing members of your sex-
of-preference will offer you unmentionable favors.
Walk away. Do it now. You won't know what you're missing. But
that's a *good* thing.
If you ignore this warning, I can't be held responsible, OK? So
long as you know that going in, do whatever you want. I'm powerless
to stop you. You're a free agent, right? You're all grown up, a
consenting adult. Presumably.
However, if I can't persuade you to forget the whole thing right
now, maybe I can at least prepare you for some of the pain you are
about to undergo. The first danger you'll face is the very real
potential for cortical delamination. That's where your brain
suddenly comes apart like a baseball that's been smacked outta the
park one too many times.
No less disturbing, you will experience a highly unpleasant sense
of temporal vertigo, as the pieces herein mercilessly slingshot you
from future to past and from present to pluperfect indefinite. You
won't know in what order anything is happening, had happened, or
might quite possibly not have happened at all. This is entirely
intentional.
Also, as all these bits were previously published online, you will
be thought an idiot by friends and loved ones, who will surely not
miss the opportunity to inform you that you could have gotten this
material without paying a nickel -- if only you had the least clue
how to work a web browser and an Internet search engine. But you
don't, do you? You pathetic loser.
There are many other reasons you don't want to read this book. The
fatal paradox is that the rest are explained in the book itself. If
you do buy it, and somehow actually make it through to the end, at
least then you'll know why you needn't have bothered. Yes, it's a
Zen thing. Chose well, grasshopper!
Either way, lots of luck. Because, either way, you're gonna need
it.
Trust me.
RageBoy
"Trust me" -- nice touch, huh? Yeah, I thought you'd like that.
Heh,
The Management
_____________________________________________________________________
to subscribe or UNSUBSCRIBE - c'mon Bunky, you can figure it out if
you try real hard - send a blank message to egr-sub-@topica.com
or egr-unsu-@topica.com - or http://www.rageboy.com/sub-up.html
http://www.rageboy.com http://www.topica.com/lists/egr
|
|
 |
|
