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Smile - its newsletter time! 172
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John Finley
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Aug 25, 2008 00:56 PDT
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John Finley's Learn English newsletter
Monday 25 August 2008 © 2008 Issue No. 172
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Contents:
1. Welcome
2. Test
3. Idiom
4. Useful Link
5. Jokes
6. Test Answers
7. Subscribe/Unsubscribe information
8. That's all folks
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1. Welcome
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Hi
I love gardening!
Over the past two weeks we've eaten lots of tomatoes,
a few peppers and a couple of courgettes and over the
next couple of weeks we'll hopefully have much
more to eat from the garden.
We're also saving seeds of our favourite varieties in
order to grow them next year - we're really going to go
crazy with the tomatoes!
As you can see, gardening is quite a topic with me at the
moment. I'm enjoying my new hobby very much!
Now, on with the show
;-)
john
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2. Test
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A rather unusual test this week.
First, see if you can read the following text.
It's clever, isn't it?
Then, try writing it again but with the correct
spelling. Check your spelling at the end of the
newsletter.
- - -
Tihs si qiute amzanig!
Aoccdrnig to rseearch at an Enlgish uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are - the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteers are in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll
raed it wouthit a porbelm.
This is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter
by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Byyebe
Taht'll f**k teh splelchekcer!
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3. Idiom
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#-# to be like chalk and cheese #-#
Last time the idiom was 'to be like peas in a pod'.
This week's idiom is pretty much the opposite and is
often used to describe two siblings (brothers and
sisters) who are not at all alike in terms of behaviour.
The idiom refers to the different textures and tastes
of chalk and cheese - they are very different from each other.
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4. Useful Link
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ESLCafe Discussion Forums
If you have a question on anything to do with
English then this is the place to go. Just select
a category and see what's there.
<A HREF="http://www.eslcafe.com/discussion">
http://www.eslcafe.com/discussion
</A>
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5. Jokes
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On the first day God created the cow. God said,
"You must go to the field with the farmer all
day long and suffer under the sun, have calves
and give milk to support the farmer. I will give
you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a hard life you want me to
live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll
give back the other forty." God agreed.
On the second day God created the dog. God said,
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark
at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give
you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give
me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
God agreed.
On the third day God created the monkey. God said,
"Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.
I'll give you a life span of twenty years."
The monkey said, "How boring, doing monkey tricks
for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you
back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat,
sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give
you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty, plus the forty the cow gave
back, plus the ten the dog gave back, plus the ten
the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat,
sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next
forty years we work hard to support our family;
for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to
entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten
years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained.
#-#-# http://www.angelfire.com/on/topfen #-#-#
A successful optician (that's a person who tests
people's eyesight, and who sells glasses and
contact lenses) was explaining to a new worker
how to charge a customer.
"After you have fitted the customer's glasses,"
he said, "and he asks you what the charge will be,
you say, '$50.' Then see if he looks unhappy at
the price.
"If the customer doesn't look unhappy you say,
'For the frames. The lenses will be another $50.'
"If he still doesn't look unhappy you say, 'Each.'"
#-#-# http://www.angelfire.com/on/topfen #-#-#
A man was driving his son to school and turned
right at a red light where it was not allowed.
"Oh dear," said the man to his son. "I just made
an illegal turn!"
"That's okay dad," said the son. "The police car
behind us did the same thing."
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6. Test answers
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This is quite amazing!
According to research at an English university,
it doesn't matter in what order the letters in a
word are - the only important thing is that the
first and last letters are in the right place.
The rest can be a total mess and you can still
read it without a problem.
This is because we do not read every letter
by itself but the word as a whole.
Byebye
That'll f**k the spellchecker!
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7. Subscribe/Unsubscribe details
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To subscribe (for example, if a friend wants to get
the newsletter, or if you would like to get it from
a different email address), send a blank email to:
<a href ="mailto: learnenglis-@topica.com">
learnenglis-@topica.com
</a>
To unsubscribe, send a blank email to:
<a href ="mailto: learnenglish-@topica.com">
learnenglish-@topica.com
</a>
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8. That's all folks!
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That's all for a couple of weeks.
Don't forget, if you enjoy reading the newsletter
and find it useful, please tell others about it.
;-)
john
<a href="mailto:topfe-@yahoo.com">
topfe-@yahoo.com
</a>
You can read all previous issues of the newsletter at:
<A HREF="http://www.topica.com/lists/learnenglish/read">
http://www.topica.com/lists/learnenglish/read
</A>
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