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Smile - its newsletter time! 174
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John Finley
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Oct 05, 2008 12:14 PDT
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John Finley's Learn English newsletter
Monday 6 October 2008 © 2008 Issue No. 174
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Contents:
1. Welcome
2. Test
3. Idiom
4. Useful Link
5. Jokes
6. Test Answers
7. Subscribe/Unsubscribe information
8. That's all folks
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1. Welcome
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Hi
I was on holiday two weeks ago and didn't get around
to sending the newsletter, but we're back on track now!
There's a different sort of test this week - it's
not really aimed at testing your English, but I
hope you find it useful anyway.
Now, on with the show
;-)
john
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2. Test
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This week's test has only four questions and is
designed to test your intelligence. Good luck!
Read the question and give your immediate answer.
That will ensure the results are accurate.
-
Question 1.
You are running a marathon and overtake the runner
who is currently in second place. Which position are
you now in?
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Question 2.
If you overtake the runner currently in last place,
which position are you now in?
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Question 3.
Let's try a mathematics question now.
Start with 1000.
Add 40.
Add another 1000.
Add 30.
Add 1000 again.
Add 20.
Add 1000 again.
Add 10 more.
What's the total?
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Question 4.
Okay, we're now at the final question.
This should be the easiest.
Marie's father has 5 daughters.
They are called:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ??????
What is the fifth daughter called?
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3. Idiom
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#-# to get something from the horse's mouth #-#
If you say that you got some information from the
horse's mouth it means that you got it from the
original source. The information is not second-hand.
Mary: Hey, Sarah, I've heard that Mrs Jones is going
to leave the company.
Sarah: Don't be silly. Mrs Jones loves her job. Who
told you that?
Mary: I got it from the horse's mouth.
(This means that she got the information from Mrs Jones herself.)
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4. Useful Link
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ESLCafe Discussion Forums
If you have a question on anything to do with
English then this is the place to go. Just select
a category and see what's there.
<A HREF="http://www.eslcafe.com/discussion">
http://www.eslcafe.com/discussion
</A>
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5. Jokes
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A woman placed an ad (short for advertisement) in
the personal section of her local newspaper.
The ad began 'Husband wanted'.
A few days later the postman came and delivered
over a hundred letters. The woman was very
excited and started to open them.
However she was soon disappointed as all the
letters were from married women who wrote
"You can have mine".
#-#-# <http://www.angelfire.com/on/topfen> #-#-#
Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates of heaven and
wait in line for St Peter. After an hour of waiting they
are at the front of the queue (a line of people waiting
for something is a queue).
St Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from,
and what he did in his life. The man answers, "I'm
John Smith, and I was a taxi driver in New York City."
St Peter looks in his book, then gives the man a robe
made of silk and a golden staff (like a walking stick -
Moses had one!) and welcomes him to heaven for his
eternal reward.
Then St Peter asks the second man the same questions.
The man replies, "My name is Paul O'Malley, and I was
a Catholic priest in Chicago."
St Peter looks in his book, then gives the man a robe
made of cotton and a wooden staff and welcomes him
to heaven for his eternal reward.
The man looks confused and says, "Wait a minute!
Why did that taxi driver get a silk robe and a golden
staff while I, a Catholic priest and a man of the Lord,
only get a cotton robe and a wooden staff?"
St Peter smiles, and replies, "Rewards in heaven are
based on results on earth. While you preached, people
slept. But while John Smith drove, people prayed."
#-#-# <http://www.angelfire.com/on/topfen> #-#-#
A man (you decide the nationality!) was on holiday
in the South of France and couldn't understand why
his friend Pierre was so successful with the ladies.
He asked Pierre the secret, and Pierre answered,
"It's simple. Take a potato and put it down your
swimming trunks. Then walk up and down the beach.
It drives the women wild."
So the man put a potato down his swimming trunks
and walked up and down the beach.
After four hours of walking up and down without
any women showing interest in him he went to see
Pierre again, and said, "I've tried what you said,
Pierre, but it doesn't work."
Pierre took one look at the man and said, "Maybe
you should try putting the potato down the front
of your swimming trunks."
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6. Test answers
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Answer 1:
If your answer is that you are now in first place, then
your answer is wrong. You overtook the person in
second place - so now you are in second place.
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Answer 2.
If you answered that you are now in second-last
position you are completely wrong. It's not possible
to overtake the runner in last position. If you are
behind them, then they can't be in last position.
The situation is impossible - so your answer should
have been 'impossible'.
If, however, the marathon was being run on a running
track (which is never the case) then it would be possible
to overtake the person in last place, but you would still
be in your original position.
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Answer 3.
Is your answer 5000?
Yes?
Then you've made a mistake.
The correct answer is 4100.
Try again if you got it wrong!
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Answer 4.
Did you write Chuchu?
If you did, it's wrong.
The answer is Marie.
Read the question again!
- - -
I hope you did well (I didn't when I did it)
;-)
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7. Subscribe/Unsubscribe details
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To subscribe (for example, if a friend wants to get
the newsletter, or if you would like to get it from
a different email address), send a blank email to:
<a href ="mailto: learnenglis-@topica.com">
learnenglis-@topica.com
</a>
To unsubscribe, send a blank email to:
<a href ="mailto: learnenglish-@topica.com">
learnenglish-@topica.com
</a>
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8. That's all folks!
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That's all for a couple of weeks.
Don't forget, if you enjoy reading the newsletter
and find it useful, please tell others about it.
;-)
john
<a href="mailto:topfe-@yahoo.com">
topfe-@yahoo.com
</a>
You can read all previous issues of the newsletter at:
<A HREF="http://www.topica.com/lists/learnenglish/read">
http://www.topica.com/lists/learnenglish/read
</A>
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