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MadKane Humor -- Handling Harvey
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Madeleine Begun Kane
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Nov 02, 2002 14:42 PST
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Dear Friends:
So ... have you missed me? Yes, I know I've been terribly derelict in
sending out this newsletter. But I've been so busy writing song
parodies, Dubya's Dayly Diary entries, Notables Weblog updates, etc.,
that I haven't been able to write one in quite some time.
I still don't have time to put together a full-length issue, but I
wanted to get some humor out to you before the election. So here goes:
HANDLING HARVEY
By Madeleine Begun Kane @ MadKane.com
http://www.madkane.com/pitt.html
CHENEY: Good morning, Mr. President. We need to discuss the Pitt
problem. If anybody asks, we're mulling over the idea of asking Harvey
to resign. (Wink, wink)
DUBYA: But I like Harvey. More important -- our pals like Harvey. What's
the matter with yur eye?
CHENEY: There's nothing wrong with my eye! If anybody asks, we're
mulling over the idea of asking Pitt to resign. (Wink, wink)
DUBYA: I just told ya -- I'm not dumpin Harvey! Ya really should get
that eye looked at.
CHENEY: My eye's fine, damn it! Look! We're not dumping the guy. We're
just mulling over the idea of asking him to resign. (Wink, wink)
DUBYA: Does it hurt?
CHENEY: What?
DUBYA: Yur eye. Does it hurt?
CHENEY: No! But you're giving me chest pains.
DUBYA: Like I keep tellin ya, ya really need ta start workin that
treadmill.
CHENEY: Who the hell has time for treadmills? Okay, you really need to
pay attention to this.
DUBYA: Ta what?
CHENEY: Let's start over. What's happening Tuesday?
DUBYA: That's easy! It's me & Laura's silver weddin anniversary.
CHENEY: Right, but what else happens on Tuesday?
DUBYA: Did I show ya the great present I got fer her?
CHENEY: Several times. Now we need ta move on.
DUBYA: Dya think she'll like it?
CHENEY: Wives always appreciate sculptures of their husbands. Now we
really need to...
DUBYA: I was plannin ta keep it at the ranch. But maybe it should stay
right here in the Oval and keep me & Churchill company.
CHENEY: Whatever...
DUBYA: What's a good spot fer it?
CHENEY: I don't give a flying...
DUBYA: Hey Karl, how's tricks?
ROVE: Fine, Mr. President. Dick, did you talk to him about our Pitt
problem?
CHENEY: Yes, but I didn't get anywhere. Maybe you should...
ROVE: Mr. President, where are you going?
DUBYA: I'm late fer my mornin workout.
ROVE: Hold on a sec, Mr. President. We need to talk about Pitts. Don't
bring the subject up, of course. But if anybody asks, we're mulling over
asking for Pitt's resignation.
DUBYA: Like I already told Dick -- I'm not dumpin Harvey!
ROVE: Look, the election's tight. The Pitt/Webster thing's hurting us.
We just need to look like we're taking this thing seriously till after
the election.
DUBYA: But we can't dump...
ROVE: We're not dumping. We're mulling dumping.
DUBYA: But I like...
ROVE: Okay, let's try this: If anyone asks you about Pitt, just say you
remain committed to cracking down on corporate crime. Can you do that?
DUBYA: No problemo! What didn't you say so the first time? Hey, check
out the great gift I got Laura!
Copyright 11/2/02 Madeleine Begun Kane
http://www.madkane.com/pitt.html
That's it for this issue. I hope to be back very soon with one that
includes Dubya's Dayly Diary excerpts, MadPicks, a MadLines Quiz, and
all my other regular features.
In the meantime, for more humor about everything from marriage, money,
and cars to computers, privacy, and politics, please stop by
http://www.madkane.com and check out my Latest Humor Page @
http://www.madkane.com/Latest.html. And don't forget about Dubya's Dayly
Diary at http://www.madkane.com/bush.html and my weblog at
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html.
Please help spread the word by forwarding this newsletter to anyone you
think may enjoy it. Thanks and enjoy!
Mad Kane
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Madeleine Begun Kane, Humor Columnist
http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe: http://www.madkane.com/email.html
Contact: MadK-@MadKane.com
Copyright 2002 Madeleine Begun Kane
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