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MadKane Humor -- Bush Quote Quiz, State of Disunion Crossword Puzzle
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Madeleine Begun Kane
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Jan 21, 2004 20:38 PST
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Dear Friends:
Hi, happy new year, and welcome to another issue of MadKane Humor. And a
special welcome to my new subscribers. If you got this from a friend and
would like your own free subscription, just send a blank email to
madkane-s-@topica.com or visit:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html .
So what have I been up to lately? For one thing, I've just posted my
first interactive crossword puzzle, inspired by Bush's State of the
Union address:
http://madkane.com/crossword_sotu_speech.html .
I've also written several new song parodies which you'll find here:
http://madkane.com/musichumor.html .
They include "Oh, What A Mis'rable Failure" and "St. Reagan's Song."
You've also missed some new satirical poems, if you haven't dropped by
my site during the last couple of months. Here's one of them:
Almanacs of Evil
http://madkane.com/almanac.html
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you dare to use an almanac,
The Feds are on your case.
You may swear you're not a maniac,
But charges you could face.
Cause those books are filled with many facts
An evil man could use.
They have charts and graphs and maps and stats
That make Feds say, "J'accuse."
If you care to keep cops off your back,
Preserving liberty.
Stay away from books so info packed
And keep your brain fact-free.
You can find all of my poems on my poetry page here:
http://madkane.com/poetry.html .
Finally, there's my 2nd annual Dubya Quote Quiz. Here's the intro and
the first few questions:
2nd Annual Dubya Quote Quiz
http://www.madkane.com/quiz2.html
It's time for my Second Annual Dubya Quote Quiz. (You'll find my First
Annual Dubya Quote Quiz here.) As I said last year, Dubya's use of the
English language is so ... uh ... creative, that it's often hard to tell
a made-up quote from the real enchilada. So once again, as a public
service, I offer a Dubya Quote Quiz, this one based exclusively on
quotes from 2003.
Each question consists of four quotes -- three of which George Dubya
really said last year and one of which is a fictitious quote straight
out of my satirical Dubya's Dayly Diary. So have a good time testing
your Bush quote knowledge. You'll find a link to the answers at the end.
No cheating now!
1 (a) "I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian
Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances."
(b) "First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily
killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're
willing to kill."
(c) "Next time the liberal press'll think twice before pesterin me fer a
press conference. Cause I sprung one on em Wednesday, and I was
fabulous! Those reporters were on the hunt, but they sure as hell didn't
have me on the run!"
(d) "There's what they call 'actionable intelligence,' to which our
military has responded on a quick basis is improving."
2 (a) "I think war is a dangerous place."
(b) "Laura's freakin cause it leaked out that she had someone buy a
kiddy's book fer some TV appearance & then returned the used book fer
credit. I don't see what the problem is -- she's just settin a good
frugal example fer the American people."
(c) "We've had a great weekend here in the Land of the Enchanted."
(d) "When you hear about war all the time on your TV screens, the
speculation of war and the discussion of war, it's not conducive to a
confident tomorrow."
3 (a) "The media likes to dwell on death. It gets them viewers, gets
them read. They live to publish lies and leaks. They're just a bunch of
sniv'ling sneaks."
(b) "I don't bring God into my life to - to, you know, kind of be a
political person."
(c) "As you notice, when there's a hole in the ground and a person is
able to crawl into it in a country the size of California, it means
we're on a scavenger hunt for terror, and find these terrorists who hide
in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the
hole, is to give clues and data. And we're on it."
(d) "We said loud and clear [to corporate wrongdoers], if you cheat the
shareholder and your employees, you will be held responsible for those
decisions. The world is now more peaceful because we acted.
4 (a) "All up and down the different aspects of our society, we had
meaningful discussions. Not only in the Cabinet Room, but prior to this
and after this day, our secretaries, respective secretaries, will
continue to interact to create the conditions necessary for prosperity
to reign."
(b) "It's money that -- that will recognize that power is best when it's
disbursed to the people we're trying to help."
(c) "We've got hundreds of sites to exploit, looking for the chemical
and biological weapons that we know Saddam Hussein had prior to our
entrance into Iraq."
(d) "I really like honorin our Vets, especially the dead ones. Just so
long as nobody makes me hug their relatives!"
The rest of the quiz is here:
http://www.madkane.com/quiz2.html
The answers are here:
http://www.madkane.com/answers2.html
That's it for this issue. For more humor about everything from marriage,
money, and cars to computers, privacy, and politics, please stop by
http://www.madkane.com and check out my Latest Humor Page @
http://www.madkane.com/Latest.html, Dubya's Dayly Diary @
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html , and my Notables Weblog @
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html , which I update several times a
week.
Please help spread the word by forwarding this newsletter to anyone you
think may enjoy it. Thanks and enjoy!
Mad Kane
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Madeleine Begun Kane, Humor Columnist
http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe: http://www.madkane.com/email.html
Contact: madkane-s-@topica.com
Copyright January 22, 2004 Madeleine Begun Kane
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