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Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs, APRIL, 2002
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sheldene chant
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Apr 30, 2002 05:50 PDT
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POIGNANT PEARLS & POTBELLIED PIGS
Vol. 3 Issue 4 April, 2002
:
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CONTENTS
- Hello there . . .
- Inside Story
- Tread Carefully If You're a Parent
- Optimism Can Make Life Better
- eNonyMouse - more optimism
- And Then There Was Pookie
- Lifestyling
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
HELLO THERE . . .
…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain and
thoughts without boundaries…
This month I need to deal with so many administrative details
there will hardly be time to get in a good moan - and I certainly
intend to so let me get the whining done first.
Just when I thought I had http://www.newbiesandnitwits.com
sorted out the group, which hosts the site, announced it would
be dispensing with hosting as from July 31, which means I will
probably have to do all those 'pages' again. I feel like screaming.
First of all it took forever for me to adapt things to their system,
then they changed the system so I had to redo most of it, and
now....GRRR!
So it's not surprising this issue is a little overloaded with the
'thinking good thoughts' angle - because I'm trying to convince
myself - with difficulty. However don't despair, although Melvin
Durai's theme is Optimism Can Make Life Better it's not all
sweetness and light and should make you smile.
Then Jim Allen asks us to question what is most important -
one's life or one's lifestyle? The right thoughts in that direction
should surely take some pressure off...
I have decided to rerun And Then There Was Pookie which
is the first in a series of articles about living with a vervet
monkey - and as I write there is a blank in the Table of Contents,
currently labelled DO Something. At this stage I have no idea
what to do but I'm sure inspiration will come tomorrow.
Judging by the muttering Griselda is also battling with Inside
Story, but rest assured, she is sure to come up with some
scurrilous content.
And now the boring admin. Last month there was a high
number of 'bounces' (non delivery usually due to a full mailbox)
and in a panic I sent a message to the list asking subscribers to
let me know if they had not received their copy of 'Pearls & Pigs'
- forgetting that the people who had 'bounced' weren't going to
receive that message either as I hadn't reactivated them via
Topica. So if you didn't receive the March issue, and still want to
please write to me at mailto:shel-@icon.co.za.
However, having sent that useless message to those who
should have received their copy, without problems, I heard
from several people who had not. Which was a bit of a shock.
In future I will send an email a few days after I have posted
the current issue, which will simply say 'Did you get it?'
If you are using a free email service such as Hotmail, with Junk
Mail filters, it is a good idea to check your Junk Mail regularly. I
have a couple of Hotmail accounts and although I have done
everything I should to ensure this does not happen, a number of
the lists I subscribe to still end up in my Junk Mail folder.
If some of your mail has gone missing please check this out. (I
can't bear to think my efforts are going STRAIGHT into a
trash can.)
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INSIDE STORY
(Don't faint - for once Griselda
is being truthful - Ed.)
I 'M sure I have pointed out before that one has to be equipped
with fur and four legs to get decent treatment in this peculiar
establishment, but now the focus has shifted slightly to include
feathers.
While Keith worked away from home, birds had to be grateful for
the odd handout from Sheldene, but now they're in the pound
seats. Flocks of tiny finches, doves, weavers, starlings and who
knows what else swoop into the garden to feast on mounds of
grain and splash in the strategically placed bird baths - while she
mutters about the added expense and he continues to increase
their daily rations.
And I suspect Keith's motives. I'll admit he likes the birds, but
can't help thinking this excessive generosity is fuelled by growing
resentment of the vast amount of food being shovelled into the
gaping maws of cats, dogs, mongooses and monkeys.
Sheldene claims he does it because 'it's just another way to get
the dogs into trouble'. In this topsy-turvy household dogs chase,
and occasionally manage to catch a bird, while the cats ignore
them.
I suppose the Chant's had to find something else to squabble
about, and the tension is mounting...because now Keith has a
special bird which he calls Wobbler.
We can't identify Wobbler - who is very small, with grey and
cream feathers, and definitely a loner. While the rest of his kind
fly about in droves, Wobbler never leaves and can usually be
spotted pottering about on the roof, waiting for dinner.
Which is served to the dogs, on the sundeck, at around 2 p.m. -
and unfortunately Wobbler is convinced he has first claim on
their cooked rice, mince and vegetables.
With my heart in my mouth I have to watch this tiny creature hop
across the deck, passing within centimetres of the canine noses.
When Keith isn't looking Hillary, the largest and most lumbering
St Bernard, lurches onto her feet and makes a half-hearted bid to
snatch his pet.
But I can tell by the gleam in her eye that she longs to bite the
insolent little bird's head off....and in the meantime Wobbler is
becoming bolder...and bolder.
So once again I am a nervous wreck and can you imagine the
scene that would ensue if Hillary ever gets her way with this
feathered intruder?
I hope I'm around to continue the tale next month.
(For the first time in history Griselda and I
can agree on something - Ed.)
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TREAD CAREFULLY IF YOU'RE A PARENT
IN all walks of life it is increasingly difficult to avoid being accused
of some form of abuse and equally hard to meet someone who
has not been abused.
Naturally I've done some soul-searching but I can't claim to be a
victim. People may have been unkind, inattentive, and even
unreasonable but never violent or cruel. So I can't blame anyone
else for my shortcomings and I'm sure I am not repressing a
single thing.
As abuse is supposed to run in cycles that should leave me and
my progeny in the clear...but does it?
Definitely not, according to my children, who would love to bend
your ear with tales of surviving parental neglect - but I'll ignore
that. However I do have a sneaking suspicion I may have put
one of my son's off mathematics and schooling for life.
He had recently completed the first grade when we moved to a
farm miles from the nearest town. Boarding school was out of
the question so he had to be taught at home - which shouldn't
have been a problem because the Education Department ran
correspondence courses specifically designed for farm
children.
It was just unfortunate both of us were temperamentally
unsuited to this form of quality togetherness. Neither of us
enjoyed being shut in a room while the rest of the family 'played'
outside. And to make matters worse he had never been one of
those children attracted to pencils and paper, having grown up
with horses, cows, tractors and trailers and having no desire to
expand these horizons.
So most mornings we withdrew, reluctantly, and tried to force
a way through the syllabus. We might have got by had it not
been for New Maths - or what used to be arithmetic.
As far as I was concerned arithmetic was bad enough but New
Maths was dreadful - and senseless in the extreme. We were
issued with coloured plastic rods - and each ridiculous rod
represented a number. So not only did I have to drum adding
and subtraction into the mulish child, first of all we had to sort
out the rod situation - and neither of us were capable.
Most of our learning curves ended when we began yelling and
throwing rods at each other.
Work had to be submitted to the Department weekly and once a
term they held an Open Day so pupils could meet their distant
teachers and attend some real classes. We only went once and
stayed just long enough to discover we had been placed in the
backward group.
Back at the farm the torture continued until I became so enraged
during a New Maths session that I hurled my child into the car
and drove him into town to stay with his grandmother - and get
some schooling.
Following in his mother's footsteps Adrian dropped Maths
at the first opportunity and for the rest of his school career only
took an interest in the very few subjects that appealed to him.
Fortunately, like Winston Churchill, he has managed to rise
above his self-inflicted educational handicaps.
Was it all my fault?
I expect so.
Child abuse? Probably...
So tread very carefully if you're a parent!
Copyright 2002 Sheldene Chant All Rights Reserved
___________________________________
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'OPTIMISM CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER'
says Melvin Durai
I'M an optimist, a relentless, incorrigible optimist. If I
were married to LaToya Jackson, I'd say, 'Well, at least I'm
not married to Tonya Harding.' If I were married to Tonya
Harding, I'd say, 'Well, at least I'm not married to Monica
Lewinsky.' If I were married to Monica Lewinsky, I'd say,
'Well, at least I'm not dead.'
Yes, I have a very positive outlook on life. Sometimes I
just look in the mirror and smile, for I know that although
I'm not half as handsome as Tom Cruise, I'm twice as
handsome as Osama bin Laden. Life is good!
Optimism keeps my spirits up, even when things aren't going
my way. Tomorrow will be better, I tell myself. My book will be
published tomorrow; my dream job will open tomorrow; my
bald spot will disappear tomorrow.
Perhaps I'm lying to myself, but I'd rather do a little bit
of lying than a lot of crying.
The benefits of optimism cannot be overstated, even by an
optimist. Not only can optimism make you more successful, it
can make you healthier. For example, a new study indicates
that optimists are far less likely to develop heart disease
than pessimists. Only through ardent optimism has Dick
Cheney managed to limit his heart attacks to one per month.
If pessimism were sold in stores, it would come with a
Surgeon General's warning. 'This product could contribute to
heart disease, which would cause the user of this product,
lacking all optimism, to make an appointment at the nearest
funeral home.'
Optimists are generally happier than pessimists. A
pessimistic sports hero would say, 'Five cars. I can't
believe I have only five cars.' An optimistic military hero
would say, 'Five scars. I can't believe I have only five
scars.'
Optimists tend to be more successful than pessimists,
because they don't let failures get them down. They keep
trying until they achieve their goals or qualify for retirement.
Of course, being over-optimistic can be disastrous. An
over-optimistic driver may neglect to wear a safety belt, an
over-optimistic presidential candidate may forget to campaign
in his home state, and an over-optimistic mother may rely on
her husband to keep an eye on the baby during the football
game. 'Honey, the good news is my team won. The bad news
is I sat on the baby. Does our insurance plan cover cosmetic
surgery?'
Some folks say they're neither optimists nor pessimists.
They call themselves realists. But what exactly is reality?
Was it realistic for Nelson Mandela, serving 27 years in a
South African prison, to imagine himself as president? No,
not without making several calls to the Psychic Friends
Network.
Here are three scenarios to illustrate the importance of
optimism:
SCENARIO ONE: Your wife has just left you for
another man.
Realist: 'It's the end of my marriage.'
Pessimist: 'It's the end of my life.'
Optimist: 'It's the end of my credit card bills.'
SCENARIO TWO: You receive a piece of mail
containing a white powder.
Realist: 'It could be anthrax. I'd better call the police.'
Pessimist: 'Oh no! I'm going to die in two days.'
Optimist: 'I'm going to be on CNN! I'm going to be on CNN!'
SCENARIO THREE: After an accident, you lose your
sense of hearing.
Realist: 'I may never hear again.'
Pessimist: 'I may never communicate again.'
Optimist: 'I may never listen to Britney Spears again.'
If that doesn't sell you on optimism, I don't know what
will.
(c) Copyright 2001 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
_______________________________
Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and
occasional stand-up comedian. A native of India, he grew
up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s.
Through the Internet, his column is read by thousands of
people in more than 75 countries.
http://www.melvindurai.com
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eNonyMouse...
... now we're sold on optimism eNonyMouse
has come up with a few tips....
1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.
3. Success stops when you do.
4. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to
unload it...
5. The biggest lie on the planet: 'When I get what I want,
I will be happy.'
6. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
7. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
8. He or she who laughs......lasts.
9. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
10. Life is what's coming....not what was.
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AND THEN THERE WAS POOKIE
by Sheldene Chant
NEVER - until she fell in love with two repulsive pugs very
late in life - could my mother have been described as a pet
lover.
However, she committed two quite extraordinary and out of
character offences while still in her right mind and
masquerading as a law-abiding citizen.
In the first instance she kidnapped a small, unattractive
dog from her neighbour because she suspected it was being
ill-treated. Then, a couple of months later, she went with my 12-
year-old son to the SPCA and returned with a vervet monkey
named Pookie.
Of course these were temporary aberrations as she never
intended to share her hearth and home with either animal. The
white dog, later named Anne, was handed to me immediately,
and she knew her grandson, Adrian, was not going to be parted
from Pookie who 'couldn't stay at the SPCA a moment longer
because he was desperately unhappy.'
Thanks to Adrian, I was accustomed to sharing a house with
rabbits, rats, crows, bats, owls, and guinea pigs, but I must
admit the advent of an ape stunned me. This was my mother,
after all, who was supposed to have my interests at heart.
I had heard a thing or two about monkeys and although I found
them fascinating, from afar, I had every intention of maintaining
that distance.
And then my native conceit clicked in - and because of this
misplaced pride more than three horrible years would follow.
I decided the monkey would stay - regardless. Furthermore the
monkey would live in the house where he would be treated with
due consideration. Given time I would show the world what
could be done with a well brought up monkey.
Adrian was delirious with joy - he even liked me for a while. Only
a week or so previously he had accused me of being an ugly old
witch but now we were instant allies.
The three younger children watched with big,round eyes. This
was all very exciting but a little disturbing. Llewelyn, aged six,
who would have the doubtful pleasure of sharing a bedroom with
Adrian and his latest acquisition, was particularly suspicious.
No doubt they also had misgivings about their father - who had a
history of erupting when told yet another litter of dear little kittens
had moved into his cupboard.
They need not have worried. When Keith came home Pookie
was sitting at the dining room table learning how to spoon up
porridge - which left the man of the house absolutely
speechless.
Fortunately we were on a farm so not too many people were
around to report on our latest idiocy. Add to that the bush war
that was just getting into its stride in Rhodesia, so visitors were
unlikely after dark.
In fact the first night passed without incident. Pookie took to bed,
bath and liberal sprinklings of talc, like a duck to water. I was in
danger of becoming overconfident as the experiment was
working magnificently, even better than expected.
I didn't fully appreciate that Pookie was also feeling his way
because everything was so strange to him. He looked very sweet
with his tiny head on Adrian's pillow, and I went on my way, more
than pleased with myself
With gritted teeth my husband put up with the bragging and
misplaced enthusiasm. Neither of us knew what we had let
ourselves in for. But we were about to find out.
Copyright 2000 Sheldene Chant
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LIFESTYLING
by Jim Allen
ARE you living a life or pursuing a lifestyle?
More and more I see people who are driving themselves
(and those around them) crazy, not to mention to the edges
of exhaustion and financial insolvency, all for the sake of
trying to live a lifestyle.
Think about it... What's the first thing we see about other
people?
Their lifestyle!
We see the clothes they wear, the jobs they have, the houses
they live in. We see all of the outward signs of their
lifestyle.
But what is it that we aren't seeing? What else is there?
Quite a lot, actually.
Just like an iceberg, most of the big stuff in our lives is
hidden from view. Similarly, Lifestyle is just the tip of the
iceberg to understanding who a person really is and what
they truly value.
Unfortunately, too many people these days get so busy
working towards a lifestyle that they've decided they want,
that they forget to work as hard, if not harder, on the
person inside... so that when they finally get the lifestyle
they strived for, they're not happy with who they are.
Do you really want to have a great lifestyle but a lousy
life?
What does your lifestyle matter to you, anyway?
Take some time today to figure out if you're living life or
pursuing a lifestyle... Know for certain whether you are
simply staying busy, collecting a whole bunch of stuff, or
truly fulfilling your values.
After all, it's your life.
©2001
Jim Allen & CoachJim.com All rights reserved
__________________________________
Jim Allen is a professional life coach, speaker,
and writer. Get more great ideas in your email
every week by subscribing to Jim's weekly newsletter,
The Big Idea, by sending a blank email to:
mailto:Subsc-@CoachJim.com
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Copyright 2002 Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs
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CONTACT INFO: Sheldene Chant (Publisher), 6 Strapp
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öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b> POIGNANT PEARLS &
POTBELLIED PIGS<br><br>
Vol. 3 Issue 4 April, 2002<br>
</b>:<br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
Our subscriber list is confidential and we
respect<br>
your privacy. All SUBSCRIBE and
UNSUBSCRIBE<br>
information can be found at the end of this
issue.<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b> CONTENTS<br><br>
</b> - Hello there
. . .<br><br>
- Inside
Story<br><br>
- Tread Carefully
If You're a Parent<br><br>
- Optimism Can
Make Life Better<br><br>
- eNonyMouse -
more optimism<br><br>
- And Then There
Was Pookie<br><br>
-
Lifestyling<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b> HELLO THERE . . .<br><br>
</b>…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain and<br>
thoughts without boundaries…<br><br>
This month I need to deal with so many administrative details<br>
there will hardly be time to get in a good moan - and I certainly<br>
intend to so let me get the whining done first.<br><br>
Just when I thought I had
<a href="http://www.newbiesandnitwits.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.newbiesandnitwits.com</a><br>
sorted out the group, which hosts the site, announced it would<br>
be dispensing with hosting as from July 31, which means I will<br>
probably have to do all those 'pages' again. I feel like
screaming.<br>
First of all it took forever for me to adapt things to their
system,<br>
then they changed the system so I had to redo most of it, and<br>
now....GRRR!<br><br>
So it's not surprising this issue is a little overloaded with
the<br>
'thinking good thoughts' angle - because I'm trying to convince<br>
myself - with difficulty. However don't despair, although
Melvin<br>
Durai's theme is Optimism Can Make Life Better it's not all<br>
sweetness and light and should make you smile.<br><br>
Then Jim Allen asks us to question what is most important -<br>
one's life or one's lifestyle? The right thoughts in that
direction<br>
should surely take some pressure off...<br><br>
I have decided to rerun And Then There Was Pookie which<br>
is the first in a series of articles about living with a
vervet<br>
monkey - and as I write there is a blank in the Table of Contents,<br>
currently labelled DO Something. At this stage I have no idea<br>
what to do but I'm sure inspiration will come tomorrow.<br><br>
Judging by the muttering Griselda is also battling with Inside<br>
Story, but rest assured, she is sure to come up with some<br>
scurrilous content.<br><br>
And now the boring admin. Last month there was a high<br>
number of 'bounces' (non delivery usually due to a full mailbox)<br>
and in a panic I sent a message to the list asking subscribers to<br>
let me know if they had not received their copy of 'Pearls &
Pigs'<br>
- forgetting that the people who had 'bounced' weren't going to<br>
receive that message either as I hadn't reactivated them via<br>
Topica. So if you didn't receive the March issue, and still want to<br>
please write to me at
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However, having sent that useless message to those who<br>
should have received their copy, without problems, I heard<br>
from several people who had not. Which was a bit of a
shock.<br><br>
In future I will send an email a few days after I have
posted<br>
the current issue, which will simply say 'Did you get it?'<br><br>
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Mail filters, it is a good idea to check your Junk Mail regularly.
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If some of your mail has gone missing please check this out. (I<br>
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<b> INSIDE STORY<br><br>
</b>
<i>(Don't faint - for once Griselda<br>
is being truthful - Ed.)<br><br>
</i>I 'M sure I have pointed out before that one has to be equipped<br>
with fur and four legs to get decent treatment in this peculiar<br>
establishment, but now the focus has shifted slightly to include<br>
feathers.<br><br>
While Keith worked away from home, birds had to be grateful for<br>
the odd handout from Sheldene, but now they're in the pound<br>
seats. Flocks of tiny finches, doves, weavers, starlings and
who<br>
knows what else swoop into the garden to feast on mounds of<br>
grain and splash in the strategically placed bird baths - while she<br>
mutters about the added expense and he continues to increase<br>
their daily rations.<br><br>
And I suspect Keith's motives. I'll admit he likes the birds,
but<br>
can't help thinking this excessive generosity is fuelled by growing<br>
resentment of the vast amount of food being shovelled into the<br>
gaping maws of cats, dogs, mongooses and monkeys.<br><br>
Sheldene claims he does it because 'it's just another way to get<br>
the dogs into trouble'. In this topsy-turvy household dogs chase,<br>
and occasionally manage to catch a bird, while the cats ignore<br>
them.<br><br>
I suppose the Chant's had to find something else to squabble<br>
about, and the tension is mounting...because now Keith has a<br>
special bird which he calls Wobbler.<br><br>
We can't identify Wobbler - who is very small, with grey and<br>
cream feathers, and definitely a loner. While the rest of his
kind<br>
fly about in droves, Wobbler never leaves and can usually be<br>
spotted pottering about on the roof, waiting for dinner.<br><br>
Which is served to the dogs, on the sundeck, at around 2 p.m. -<br>
and unfortunately Wobbler is convinced he has first claim on<br>
their cooked rice, mince and vegetables.<br><br>
With my heart in my mouth I have to watch this tiny creature hop<br>
across the deck, passing within centimetres of the canine noses.<br>
When Keith isn't looking Hillary, the largest and most lumbering<br>
St Bernard, lurches onto her feet and makes a half-hearted bid to<br>
snatch his pet.<br><br>
But I can tell by the gleam in her eye that she longs to bite the<br>
insolent little bird's head off....and in the meantime Wobbler is<br>
becoming bolder...and bolder.<br><br>
So once again I am a nervous wreck and can you imagine the<br>
scene that would ensue if Hillary ever gets her way with this<br>
feathered intruder?<br><br>
I hope I'm around to continue the tale next month.<br><br>
<i>(For the first time in history
Griselda and I<br>
can agree on
something - Ed.)<br><br>
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<br>
<b> TREAD CAREFULLY IF YOU'RE
A PARENT<br><br>
</b>IN all walks of life it is increasingly difficult to avoid being
accused<br>
of some form of abuse and equally hard to meet someone who<br>
has not been abused.<br><br>
Naturally I've done some soul-searching but I can't claim to be a<br>
victim. People may have been unkind, inattentive, and
even<br>
unreasonable but never violent or cruel. So I can't blame
anyone<br>
else for my shortcomings and I'm sure I am not repressing a<br>
single thing.<br><br>
As abuse is supposed to run in cycles that should leave me and<br>
my progeny in the clear...but does it?<br><br>
Definitely not, according to my children, who would love to bend<br>
your ear with tales of surviving parental neglect - but I'll ignore<br>
that. However I do have a sneaking suspicion I may have put<br>
one of my son's off mathematics and schooling for life.<br><br>
He had recently completed the first grade when we moved to a<br>
farm miles from the nearest town. Boarding school was out of<br>
the question so he had to be taught at home - which shouldn't<br>
have been a problem because the Education Department ran<br>
correspondence courses specifically designed for farm<br>
children.<br><br>
It was just unfortunate both of us were temperamentally<br>
unsuited to this form of quality togetherness. Neither of us<br>
enjoyed being shut in a room while the rest of the family 'played'<br>
outside. And to make matters worse he had never been one of<br>
those children attracted to pencils and paper, having grown up<br>
with horses, cows, tractors and trailers and having no desire to<br>
expand these horizons.<br><br>
So most mornings we withdrew, reluctantly, and tried to force<br>
a way through the syllabus. We might have got by had it not<br>
been for New Maths - or what used to be arithmetic.<br><br>
As far as I was concerned arithmetic was bad enough but New<br>
Maths was dreadful - and senseless in the extreme. We were<br>
issued with coloured plastic rods - and each ridiculous rod<br>
represented a number. So not only did I have to drum adding<br>
and subtraction into the mulish child, first of all we had to sort<br>
out the rod situation - and neither of us were capable.<br><br>
Most of our learning curves ended when we began yelling and<br>
throwing rods at each other.<br><br>
Work had to be submitted to the Department weekly and once a<br>
term they held an Open Day so pupils could meet their distant<br>
teachers and attend some real classes. We only went once and<br>
stayed just long enough to discover we had been placed in the<br>
backward group.<br><br>
Back at the farm the torture continued until I became so enraged<br>
during a New Maths session that I hurled my child into the car<br>
and drove him into town to stay with his grandmother - and get<br>
some schooling.<br><br>
Following in his mother's footsteps Adrian dropped Maths<br>
at the first opportunity and for the rest of his school career only<br>
took an interest in the very few subjects that appealed to him.<br>
Fortunately, like Winston Churchill, he has managed to rise<br>
above his self-inflicted educational handicaps.<br><br>
Was it all my fault?<br><br>
I expect so.<br><br>
Child abuse? Probably...<br><br>
So tread very carefully if you're a parent!<br><br>
<b>Copyright 2002 Sheldene Chant All Rights Reserved<br>
</b>___________________________________<br><br>
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<b> 'OPTIMISM CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE
BETTER'<br><br>
says Melvin Durai<br><br>
</b>I'M an optimist, a relentless, incorrigible optimist. If I<br>
were married to LaToya Jackson, I'd say, 'Well, at least I'm<br>
not married to Tonya Harding.' If I were married to Tonya<br>
Harding, I'd say, 'Well, at least I'm not married to Monica<br>
Lewinsky.' If I were married to Monica Lewinsky, I'd say,<br>
'Well, at least I'm not dead.'<br><br>
Yes, I have a very positive outlook on life. Sometimes I<br>
just look in the mirror and smile, for I know that although<br>
I'm not half as handsome as Tom Cruise, I'm twice as<br>
handsome as Osama bin Laden. Life is good!<br><br>
Optimism keeps my spirits up, even when things aren't going<br>
my way. Tomorrow will be better, I tell myself. My book will be<br>
published tomorrow; my dream job will open tomorrow; my<br>
bald spot will disappear tomorrow.<br><br>
Perhaps I'm lying to myself, but I'd rather do a little bit<br>
of lying than a lot of crying.<br><br>
The benefits of optimism cannot be overstated, even by an<br>
optimist. Not only can optimism make you more successful, it<br>
can make you healthier. For example, a new study indicates<br>
that optimists are far less likely to develop heart disease<br>
than pessimists. Only through ardent optimism has Dick<br>
Cheney managed to limit his heart attacks to one per month.<br><br>
If pessimism were sold in stores, it would come with a<br>
Surgeon General's warning. 'This product could contribute to<br>
heart disease, which would cause the user of this product,<br>
lacking all optimism, to make an appointment at the nearest<br>
funeral home.'<br><br>
Optimists are generally happier than pessimists. A<br>
pessimistic sports hero would say, 'Five cars. I can't<br>
believe I have only five cars.' An optimistic military hero<br>
would say, 'Five scars. I can't believe I have only five<br>
scars.'<br><br>
Optimists tend to be more successful than pessimists,<br>
because they don't let failures get them down. They keep<br>
trying until they achieve their goals or qualify for
retirement.<br><br>
Of course, being over-optimistic can be disastrous. An<br>
over-optimistic driver may neglect to wear a safety belt, an<br>
over-optimistic presidential candidate may forget to campaign<br>
in his home state, and an over-optimistic mother may rely on<br>
her husband to keep an eye on the baby during the football<br>
game. 'Honey, the good news is my team won. The bad news<br>
is I sat on the baby. Does our insurance plan cover cosmetic<br>
surgery?'<br><br>
Some folks say they're neither optimists nor pessimists.<br>
They call themselves realists. But what exactly is reality?<br>
Was it realistic for Nelson Mandela, serving 27 years in a<br>
South African prison, to imagine himself as president? No,<br>
not without making several calls to the Psychic Friends<br>
Network.<br><br>
Here are three scenarios to illustrate the importance of<br>
optimism:<br><br>
SCENARIO ONE: Your wife has just left you for<br>
another man.<br><br>
Realist: 'It's the end of my marriage.'<br>
Pessimist: 'It's the end of my life.'<br>
Optimist: 'It's the end of my credit card bills.'<br><br>
SCENARIO TWO: You receive a piece of mail<br>
containing a white powder.<br><br>
Realist: 'It could be anthrax. I'd better call the police.'<br>
Pessimist: 'Oh no! I'm going to die in two days.'<br>
Optimist: 'I'm going to be on CNN! I'm going to be on CNN!'<br><br>
SCENARIO THREE: After an accident, you lose your<br>
sense of hearing.<br><br>
Realist: 'I may never hear again.'<br>
Pessimist: 'I may never communicate again.'<br>
Optimist: 'I may never listen to Britney Spears again.'<br><br>
If that doesn't sell you on optimism, I don't know what<br>
will.<br><br>
<b>(c) Copyright 2001 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.<br>
</b>_______________________________<br>
<i>Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and<br>
occasional stand-up comedian. A native of India, he grew<br>
up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s.<br>
Through the Internet, his column is read by thousands of<br>
people in more than 75 countries.<br>
<a href="http://www.melvindurai.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.melvindurai.com</a><br><br>
</i>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
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<b>eNonyMouse...<br><br>
</b> <i> ... now
we're sold on optimism eNonyMouse<br>
has come up with a few tips....<br><br>
</i>1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.<br><br>
2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to
be.<br><br>
3. Success stops when you do.<br><br>
4. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to<br>
unload it...<br><br>
5. The biggest lie on the planet: 'When I get what I want,<br>
I will be happy.'<br><br>
6. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.<br><br>
7. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.<br><br>
8. He or she who laughs......lasts.<br><br>
9. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.<br><br>
10. Life is what's coming....not what was.<br><br>
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<b>AND THEN THERE WAS POOKIE<br><br>
by Sheldene Chant<br><br>
</b>NEVER - until she fell in love with two repulsive pugs very<br>
late in life - could my mother have been described as a pet<br>
lover.<br><br>
However, she committed two quite extraordinary and out of<br>
character offences while still in her right mind and<br>
masquerading as a law-abiding citizen.<br><br>
In the first instance she kidnapped a small, unattractive<br>
dog from her neighbour because she suspected it was being<br>
ill-treated. Then, a couple of months later, she went with my 12-<br>
year-old son to the SPCA and returned with a vervet monkey<br>
named Pookie.<br><br>
Of course these were temporary aberrations as she never<br>
intended to share her hearth and home with either animal. The<br>
white dog, later named Anne, was handed to me immediately,<br>
and she knew her grandson, Adrian, was not going to be parted<br>
from Pookie who 'couldn't stay at the SPCA a moment longer<br>
because he was desperately unhappy.'<br><br>
Thanks to Adrian, I was accustomed to sharing a house with<br>
rabbits, rats, crows, bats, owls, and guinea pigs, but I must<br>
admit the advent of an ape stunned me. This was my mother,<br>
after all, who was supposed to have my interests at heart.<br>
I had heard a thing or two about monkeys and although I
found<br>
them fascinating, from afar, I had every intention of maintaining<br>
that distance.<br><br>
And then my native conceit clicked in - and because of this<br>
misplaced pride more than three horrible years would follow.<br><br>
I decided the monkey would stay - regardless. Furthermore the<br>
monkey would live in the house where he would be treated with<br>
due consideration. Given time I would show the world what<br>
could be done with a well brought up monkey.<br><br>
Adrian was delirious with joy - he even liked me for a while. Only<br>
a week or so previously he had accused me of being an ugly old<br>
witch but now we were instant allies.<br><br>
The three younger children watched with big,round eyes. This<br>
was all very exciting but a little disturbing. Llewelyn, aged
six,<br>
who would have the doubtful pleasure of sharing a bedroom with<br>
Adrian and his latest acquisition, was particularly suspicious.<br>
No doubt they also had misgivings about their father - who had a<br>
history of erupting when told yet another litter of dear little
kittens<br>
had moved into his cupboard.<br><br>
They need not have worried. When Keith came home Pookie<br>
was sitting at the dining room table learning how to spoon up<br>
porridge - which left the man of the house absolutely<br>
speechless.<br><br>
Fortunately we were on a farm so not too many people were<br>
around to report on our latest idiocy. Add to that the bush
war<br>
that was just getting into its stride in Rhodesia, so
visitors were<br>
unlikely after dark.<br><br>
In fact the first night passed without incident. Pookie took to
bed,<br>
bath and liberal sprinklings of talc, like a duck to water. I was
in<br>
danger of becoming overconfident as the experiment was<br>
working magnificently, even better than expected.<br><br>
I didn't fully appreciate that Pookie was also feeling his
way<br>
because everything was so strange to him. He looked very sweet<br>
with his tiny head on Adrian's pillow, and I went on my way, more<br>
than pleased with myself<br><br>
With gritted teeth my husband put up with the bragging and<br>
misplaced enthusiasm. Neither of us knew what we had let<br>
ourselves in for. But we were about to find out.<br><br>
<b>Copyright 2000 Sheldene Chant<br><br>
<br>
</b>Ööº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
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<b>LIFESTYLING<br><br>
by Jim Allen<br><br>
<br>
</b>ARE you living a life or pursuing a lifestyle?<br><br>
More and more I see people who are driving themselves<br>
(and those around them) crazy, not to mention to the edges<br>
of exhaustion and financial insolvency, all for the sake of<br>
trying to live a lifestyle.<br><br>
Think about it... What's the first thing we see about other<br>
people?<br><br>
Their lifestyle!<br><br>
We see the clothes they wear, the jobs they have, the houses<br>
they live in. We see all of the outward signs of their<br>
lifestyle.<br><br>
But what is it that we aren't seeing? What else is there?<br><br>
Quite a lot, actually.<br><br>
Just like an iceberg, most of the big stuff in our lives is<br>
hidden from view. Similarly, Lifestyle is just the tip of the<br>
iceberg to understanding who a person really is and what<br>
they truly value.<br><br>
Unfortunately, too many people these days get so busy<br>
working towards a lifestyle that they've decided they want,<br>
that they forget to work as hard, if not harder, on the<br>
person inside... so that when they finally get the lifestyle<br>
they strived for, they're not happy with who they are.<br><br>
Do you really want to have a great lifestyle but a lousy<br>
life?<br><br>
What does your lifestyle matter to you, anyway?<br><br>
Take some time today to figure out if you're living life or<br>
pursuing a lifestyle... Know for certain whether you are<br>
simply staying busy, collecting a whole bunch of stuff, or<br>
truly fulfilling your values.<br><br>
After all, it's your life.<br><br>
<b>©2001<br>
Jim Allen & CoachJim.com All rights reserved<br>
</b>__________________________________<br><br>
<i>Jim Allen is a professional life coach, speaker,<br>
and writer. Get more great ideas in your email<br>
every week by subscribing to Jim's weekly newsletter,<br>
The Big Idea, by sending a blank email to:<br>
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<b>Copyright 2002 Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs<br><br>
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