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Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs July 2002
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sheldene chant
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Jul 25, 2002 23:45 PDT
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POIGNANT PEARLS & POTBELLIED PIGS
Vol. 3 Issue 7 July, 2002
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CONTENTS
- Hello there . . .
- Inside Story
- Ape on a Wet Thatched Roof
- Don't Bail Out of Marriage Too Soon
- eNony Mouse - weighty problems
- Budget Vegetable Gardens - from scraps
- Discover The 90-10 Secret
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HELLO THERE . . .
…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain
and thoughts without boundaries…
It's cold and raining, so naturally my thoughts turned to food and I
remembered Ron Williams' article (which I knew I had filed away
somewhere) on setting up a vegetable garden from kitchen
scraps. This idea seems tailor-made for those of you living in
fertile places like Florida.
Not that the coastal regions of Kwa-Zulu Natal aren't fertile
enough, but mention vegetables to my husband and he gets
rather beady. Soon after we moved here he cleared a patch of
bush (it took days) and planted potatoes, while a troop of
monkeys sat in a nearby tree and watched him sweat.
Well, you guessed it. The monkeys got the potatoes before he
did because they don't care how small they are. Since then he's
become rather lazy so no doubt we'll continue buying our
tomatoes and things across the road. When you read Ron's
article you'll notice he refers to something called 'choko' and if
anyone can identify/translate this please let me know. There's
quite a few things here that could be covered by a quick-growing,
concealing vine that also produces fruit - for the monkeys of
course.
In 'Discover The 90-10 Secret' Arlen Busenitz reveals how to
change one's life completely by giving up screaming and yelling -
I really must read it again. And apart from that there's the usual
malice in Griselda's Inside Story, more about Pookie, and a
contribution from Melvin Durai on divorce. This is based on the
better the devil you know theory - which I entirely agree with.
I hope you enjoy this issue, and make sure you have a good
month.
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NEWBIES, NERDS & NITWITS
'Support' ezine for everyone needing a helping
hand with their first forays around a PC and the
Internet.
Subscribe today by sending a blank email to:
mailto:nerdsandnitwi-@topica.com
To view previous issues surf to:
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INSIDE STORY
by Griselda
I know I promised you the next best thing to a Rose Garden -
and I must say I'm disappointed. I thought Pam Allen would at
least be honest but obviously she's intimidated. I should really
make one or two alterations. (For instance Pam thought I was
going on holiday - doesn't she realise that if I went on leave that
nothing, even slightly critical of Sheldene, would get into this
ezine?)
'WELL, here I am, Sheldene's cohort in computer chaos.
Ostensibly, Griselda is on a much deserved vacation, but I'm
quite sure the poor girl is locked in the attic. Sheldene is being
inundated with highly anticipated visits from family, and I know
that she doesn't want them to have the faintest clue as to her
bizarre habits. Anyway, I agreed to take over the Inside Story for
this edition. I think Sheldene hopes I'll dispel the impression that
poor Griselda has given, and paint her ladyship as a very
organized, quite superior specimen of computer usage. *sigh*
No chance of that, dear readers. Suffice it to say, that if we had
one more person in our little duo, we'd be a threat to the Three
Stooges.
'We've been working frantically, trying to get the Newbies and
Nitwits computer help site transferred to a new server. It
basically had to be done from scratch, with every page laid out
by hand, and content lovingly pasted in the proper place. I
whipped a copy of a high-tech HTML editing program across the
world, right to her doorstep, so we could both work on the site
together. Unfortunately, neither of us had the first clue about
using this program. She had it set up one way, I had it set up
another. She sent me files to check, I sent her files to check. We
assumed (quite stupidly, as it turns out) that since we both used
the same program, everything would work the same on either
end. Ha!
'It took us two months of daily emails just to get things set up so
that both our programs were looking in the same place for the
pictures. Of course, I wonder how much of it was really a
'misunderstanding' since it was my picture that never showed
up on the page.
'And the buttons! Don't get me started on the buttons. Sheldene
just had to have specific buttons on the pages. Simple buttons
weren't good enough, she had to have SPECIAL buttons. Of
course, the buttons she selected are supposed to do all sorts of
complex things, like fill out forms, send emails, what have you.
Sheldene spent weeks figuring out how to make these buttons
simply go to another page.
'Instead of having one little bitty line that says 'go here when a
reader clicks', we've got entire paragraphs of commands that
circle, and loop, and eventually end up on page 2. Oh well, she
has her buttons, and all is right with the world.
'Newbies and Nitwits is up and running, and looks quite
impressive, if I do say so myself. It's a never ending project, as
we keep thinking of new and exciting things to add to the site. I
find ways to do what we want, and then let her add the buttons.
We've gotten along smashingly well throughout the ordeal, and I
know Griselda was making it up when she said that Sheldene
kept muttering about 'that bossy, pain-in-the-rear American'.
'Of course Sheldene denies ever muttering anything like that!'
(Just wait, Pam, - until the next time you need to
make use of my outstanding skills- Ed.)
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
CONFUSED BY EMAIL?
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know about email accounts, clients, web based, headers, virus
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öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
More about Pookie
APE ON A WET THATCHED ROOF
TIME flies whether or not you are having fun. A couple of years
went by and the monkey, Pookie, remained firmly ensconced as
an unruly member of our family.
Then suddenly it was all happening. We decided to move to a
farm a, a little closer to town, where my husband, Keith, would
be able to train as well as breed racehorses. Rhodesia's 'bush'
war was now in full swing and I had, inadvertently, become
pregnant.
I believe some people callously dump the family cat because it
might interfere with, or try to suffocate, the anticipated baby.
Needless to say our flock of cats were quite safe as we never even
considered getting rid of our bullying, biting monkey.
I recall being far too busy, shocked and cross to want to discuss
the impending happy event, and Keith pretended he was equally
annoyed. Adrian, the monkey's mentor, was absolutely furious
as well as being ashamed of his parents, while Avalon, the eight-
year-old reigning baby, had to come to terms with soon
becoming an ex-infant.
Only Miranda and Llewelyn, who were used to being 'middle'
children, were completely unmoved. The latter was still battling
to survive the stresses and strains of a life lived in close
proximity to Pookie, while Miranda quietly prepared to become
one of the world's most difficult teenagers.
Major moves are always traumatic so a Chant relocation could
safely be classified as doubly so. Uprooting four children is bad
enough, but what about transplanting four dogs, 22 cats, a few
rabbits, a pet rat, my two horses, and a monkey?
To make matters worse we were moving from a civilised four-
bedroom house, designed for gracious living, to a collection of
disconnected thatched huts which were, of course, going to be
transformed later.
Come the great day, my job was to ferry carloads of livestock.
Then there was a problem with the Indian driver of the furniture
removal truck because it was against his religion to have
anything to do with dogs - let alone transport the big ones that
might not fit in my car. And to cap it all it was raining.
Adrian and Pookie travelled as part of one of the early 'cat loads',
and the rest of the family arrived hot on the heels of the dogs and
furniture. By now it was bucketing down and it was clear
everything we owned would soon be sodden.
So Pookie chose that moment to leap out of a rondavel (hut),
thereby providing the furniture removers with just the excuse they
wanted to drop most of our mattresses in the mud. Surprisingly
we did sleep in our beds that night, probably because Freitwell,
Bubu and Anatoria, who were used to working under pressure,
had chosen to move with us.
For the next week or so, having quickly settled in to our new
quarters, Pookie had a wonderful time terrifying this farm's labour
force. He never actually savaged anyone but most of the men
were completely unnerved, not knowing when this fiend would
come scampering across a roof, or simply drop out of a tree, in
order to harass them.
Women balancing water buckets on their heads tossed them
aside, shreiking, while their wide-eyed children peeped at the
proceedings from behind bushes and shed doors. Normal
monkeys would not choose to come so close to humans but by
this time Pookie had no fears.
It was all a bit tiring and, as usual, he kept the best tricks for his
adopted family.
Shortly after the move my best friend, Betty, came to view our
new hovels, bringing with her Serena, whom I barely knew, and a
chocolate cake.
Many people disliked Pookie but Betty loathed him. Sweeping
into the 'lounge' rondavel her first words were 'Where's that
horrible monkey?', so I quickly assured her he was playing with
Adrian 'somewhere'.
Just as I was about to sink my teeth into the first piece of cake
we noticed the malevolent animal crouching high in the rafters.
'Oh dear', said Serena, with feeling.
'Don't worry', I replied airily. 'He won't come down from...'
Then Pookie, in orbit, flashed past me, landing on Serena's
shoulder. Foolishly she yelped, thereby earning a sharp nip, but
Pookie was already advancing on his real target.
Although Betty tried to protect her cake she could not withstand
Pookie's menacing gestures for long. Then he was up and
away, with the cake, and out the window.
Frankly I felt Serena made an inordinate fuss about the litle bite
on her neck. Meanwhile Betty was raging, having been outfaced
and robbed by the monkey she detested, and they left as soon
as I'd managed to unearth some disinfectant for Serena's tiny
wound.
Later I learned Serena had been sick, for quite a while, with a
low grade fever. Which I'm sure was caused by a virus of some
sort. Naturally Betty is convinced, to this day, that Serena's
mysterious illness was the result of a bite from 'poisonous'
Pookie.
So it was really thanks to Pookie that Betty never got around to
telling me that I could, under no circumstances, name the new
baby, Merlyn. The next time we met Merlyn (how could I have
possibly called him anything else?) had joined the menagerie.
Copyright 2000 Sheldene Chant
*The previous three articles about Pookie can
be found in the April, May and June issues at
http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs/read
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'DON'T BAIL OUT OF MARRIAGE TOO SOON'
warns Melvin Durai
FEEL like getting a divorce? Forget about it. A new study
shows that splitting up won't necessarily make you happier,
that you have a better chance of being happy if you stay
with your lousy, good-for-nothing spouse.
Hey, people change. Situations change. Even body odors
change. (Today he smells like sour milk; tomorrow he may
smell like fine cheese.)
So tear up that divorce petition. Get rid of that divorce lawyer.
And send your spouse a box of candy and a note: 'Did I say I
want a divorce? I meant to say I want a device! Yes, a new
remote control. This is all a big misunderstanding, honey. It's my
fault, really. I need to work on my pronunciations.'
The study, conducted primarily at the University of Chicago,
identified 645 unhappy spouses in a national database. After
five years, 167 were divorced or separated, with about half of
them happy. (The ones who got custody of the Lexus.)
Of the 478 who stayed married, two-thirds were happy. What
does all this mean? It's simple: Living with a pain-in-the-neck is
better than trying to chop it off.
Anything can happen in five years to improve a marriage: more
communication, more commitment, more Viagra.
Of course, in some marriages, five years may seem an eternity.
Just ask the former wives of Mike Tyson if they'd give him five
years. 'Five years? Sure, we'd give him five years -- in the
slammer! Certainly not with us. As the divorce court judge said,
we're done serving our time.'
For these women and others, living in matrimony was never as
joyful as living on alimony.
But even the worst marriages can be saved, as the study clearly
shows. Of the unhappiest spouses who stuck it out, a staggering
80% were happy five years later, perhaps because they all
received free marriage counseling -- almost every day on Oprah.
Interviews of the once-unhappy spouses revealed three
routes to happiness:
---Marital endurance: As time went by, sources of conflict eased.
Household incomes grew, gifts of jewelry arrived, and the nightly
headaches disappeared. 'Not tonight, honey' turned into 'Not just
tonight, honey.'
---Marital work: Spouses worked hard to save their marriages.
Their winning strategies included changing their behavior,
improving communication skills, and finding time to wear
deodorant.
---Personal change: Spouses discovered ways to be happy
despite a mediocre marriage. Some focused on their jobs,
others focused on their children, and a few focused on
Antonio Banderas.
Middle-aged woman: 'My husband doesn't find me attractive
anymore, but Antonio thinks I'm cute.'
Friend: 'You've spoken to Antonio Banderas???'
Woman: 'Of course. I speak to Antonio all the time. Every time I
visit his website. That's why I bought a computer. I can use my
Hotmail account to send Antonio some really hot mail.'
Friend: 'Perhaps you should try Yahoo, because that's exactly
what you're turning into.'
When marriages go sour, divorce may seem like the best
answer, at least for those who aren't content with the Internet.
But the study seems to indicate otherwise. With the divorce rate
soaring in America, perhaps more people should just hang in
there and work on their marriages.
'Honey, did I say that I'm leaving you? Well, I didn't finish my
sentence. I meant to say that I'm leaving you all my credit cards.
Buy whatever makes you happy: a diamond ring, a pearl
necklace, a poster of Antonio Banderas.'
(c) Copyright 2002 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.MelvinDurai.com
___________________________
Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and
occasional stand-up comedian. Born in India and raised
in Zambia, he has lived in the U.S. since 1982. Through
the Internet, his column is read by thousands of people
in more than 90 countries. To subscribe send a blank
email to: Join-Funn-@relay.netatlantic.com
or go to: http://MelvinDurai.com/sub.htm
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eNonyMouse
...addresses problems relating
to weight and fitness....
It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you
add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to
spend an additional months in a nursing home at $5000 per
month.
The only reason to take up exercising is to hear heavy breathing
again.
'I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't
lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.'
Long walks are great, especially when they are taken by people
who annoy you.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.
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BUDGET VEGGIE GARDENS FROM KITCHEN SCRAPS
by Ron Williams
IT does not matter whether you put your Kitchen scraps in the
compost or the bin, did you know that you could grow many of
your favourite fruit or vegetables from those scraps. Indeed,
unless your compost is very well matured you will find stray
veggie seedlings may appear wherever you deposit the
compost.
Take for instance those potato peelings. If it is a fairly thick
section of peel with an eye (shoot), then you can often get these
to grow into full potato plants. You can also get sweet potatoes
and taros to grow from sections of the tubers.
Have you ever tried to plant or thought about trying to plant the
seeds from a particularly nice tomato, capsicum, chilli,
watermelon or pumpkin. While any plants grown from such seed
may vary quite a lot from the parent fruit, you can still achieve
fairly good results from them if you are on a tight budget.
While the plants grown from seeds of many of your kitchen
scraps will not produce fruit to the same high standard as the
original fruit/vegetables, this is because of the complicated
interbreeding programs put into place by big seed companies.
The progeny can give a very wide range of resulting offspring in
relation to the size, quality and quantity of the fruit. But if you
come across one or two particularly good plants in the resulting
season, then reuse the seeds of that and always-in future pick
the best fruit from the best plants for your future propagation
material.
Though there are some veggies in the kitchen where it is not
possible to grow them from the seed in the fruit. These are those
vegetables where the edible fruit is still in an immature state and
the seed is not yet viable. These fruit/veggies include the
cucumbers, okra, zuchinni and squashes to name just a few.
This is because the fruit, when it reaches a stage where the
seed is viable, is just too big and coarse for human consumption.
Leave the top of a pineapple out in a shady spot for a week
or so during warm weather, then strip back the lower dead
leaves. You may even notice some small juvenile roots already
forming at the base of the plant top. One thing to remember with
pineapples is that it is a species of bromeliad. And as such it
requires the same moist but well drained growing conditions.
When the garlic cloves are starting to get a green sprout coming
out of the top, it is a pretty good indication, that it might be a good
idea to plant them out individually for a good harvest in about
8-10 months time of this fairly expensive herb plant. Treat it like
any member of the onion tribe, because they like moist, well
drained soil and a fair amount of feeding during the growing
season. Harvest as the tops are dying back. But let them dry out
in a cool but airy place, before you try to use them back in the
kitchen.
Another fruit/vegetable along a similar line is corn, try leaving a
fresh, uncooked cob of sweet corn in a shady dry spot for a
couple of weeks, then you can strip the kernels away from the
cob and plant them, or a quicker suggestion is to grab a handful
of corn kernels out of a packet of popping corn, The only
comment would be that corn grown from these seeds would not
be as sweet or juicy as sweet corn, and in reality would be better
dried and used as popping corn.
Why not try growing your own peanuts (groundnuts), always only
use the raw nuts, and only choosing those nuts, which are still
whole and encased in the brown skin. Peanuts can be grown
during warmer weather in most temperate and subtropical parts
of the world.
One of the fascinating things about peanuts is that they are one
of the only plants which flowers set fruit and then bury and
preplant their own seed ready for later germination. Yes the
peanut, which is dug from the ground, is actually a fruit buried by
the parent plant, after flowering.
You can always grow your own ginger; all it takes is a section of
the root, purchased from a greengrocer. Plant it in a well drained
but moist soil. Allowing plenty of room for the plant to spread out.
You can be harvesting your own ginger roots within about 8-12
months.
Whether you have got a long fence, chookpen or an unsightly
shed to cover, why not try planting a choko. The vine can be very
prolific, as long as you keep the moisture and fertiliser up to it.
Though once it is established, it can be left to fend for itself, and
will still produce a steady supply of fruit for the family.
If you have a few dollars why not look at purchasing some of the
heritage or heirloom seed ranges of fruit and vegetables. Many
seed firms as well as organisations like the Seed Savers
Network have many fascinating and unusual varieties of plants
available for the home gardener to grow.
Of course once you have various plants growing in your veggie
garden don't forget to keep some propagating material back (
whether it is root sections, seed or divisions), for future plantings.
Also you should think about letting certain plants like lettuce,
parsley and basil go to seed, for planting later. I regularly have to
weed my lawns around the gardens for rogue seedlings of the
above plants.Such spare seedling weeds are easily replanted or
swapped with other gardeners for plants I don't yet have, or given
to school and/or charity plant stalls. It is useful to have weeds
that other people want and are willing to pay for.
While it usually not a good idea to try and propagate most of the
tree fruit, simply from a time perspective and again because the
results can also be very variable, it is still interesting to try even if
you only end up getting a potplant out of the results. It is possible
to grow the seeds of such trees as mangoes, citrus, avocado,
apple, pear, etc. While the fruit of some species simply have no
viable seed at all eg, bananas. There is however a few, which
readily lend themselves to home propagation eg, pawpaw
(papaya), tree tomatoes, unroasted coffee beans, etc. I
remember as a child, accidentally germinated a coconut palm,
from throwing the mostly eaten out shell onto a garden bed for a
few months.
Another suggestion for those of you out there, who are visited by
birds to your garden, why not take a handful of birdseed and plant
it out in an out of the way section of your garden. These bird
friendly plants like Sunflower, oats, sorghum, etc, can be a real
bonus for many native birds to supplement their diet. Many of the
seeds in any packet of birdseed are very viable.
When my kids were younger and I was showing them such
wonders, I used to have trouble convincing them I could not
do similar things in growing and multiplying a variety of items
of importance to them at the time, from toys to chocolate, lollies
and even coins.
© Copyright 2001 Ron Williams
____________________
Ron Williams is a freelance writer as well as being a
Horticulturist and a Rehabilitation Therapy Aid at a
Psychiatric Hospital in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. He
writes ezines for wz.com and runs his own website called Bare
Bones Gardening. He also owns a discussion group about
Australian Gardening, called Austgardens at
www.groups.yahoo.com. Also visit
http://www.geocities.com/impatients63/
Ööº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
DISCOVER THE 90/10 SECRET: CHANGE YOUR LIFE
says Arlen Busenitz.
THE 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this
secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved
stress, trials, problems, and heartache.
They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad
days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is
constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry
consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary
and is not enjoyed to the fullest.. Friends are lost. Life is a bore
and often seems cruel.
Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can
be different!. Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will
change your life! What is this secret?
Ten percent of life is made up of what happens to you. Ninety
percent of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of
what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking
down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole
schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no
control over this 10%. The other 90% is different.
You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You
cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't
let people fool you, YOU can control how you react! Let's use an
example.
You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks
over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no
control over what just happened. What happens next will be
determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the
coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her,
you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too
close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You
storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find
your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and
get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must
leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your
daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph
speed limit.. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 away, you
arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying
good-bye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot
your briefcase. Your day has started off terribly. As it continues, it
seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home,
but when you arrive you find a small wedge in your relationship
with your spouse and daughter.Why? Because of how you
reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day? ___
a) Did the coffee cause it?
b) Did your daughter cause it?
c) Did the policeman cause it?
d) Did you cause it?
The answer is d). You had no control over what happened with
the coffee. How you reacted in those five seconds is what
caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have
happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You
gently say 'It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next
time.' Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back
down in time look through the window and see your child getting
on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss
before you both go to work. You arrive five minutes early and
cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of
day you are having.
Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the
same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you reacted.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.
The other 90% is determined by your reaction. Here are some
ways to apply the 90/10 secret.
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a
sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not
have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and
it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a
friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose
your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had
the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood
pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? Who cares if
you arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin
your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry
about it!
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It
will work out. Use your 'worrying' energy and time into finding
another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no
control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know
the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make
things worse.
You now know the 90-10 secret. Apply it and you will be
amazed at the results.
(c) Copyright 2001, Arlen Busenitz.
___________________________
Arlen is a free lance writer specializing in people skills and
personal improvement. Discover the Secret to Making
People Like You-- Free
http://www.Magic-People-Skills.com?90:10
mailto:Ab4-@juno.com
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<b> POIGNANT PEARLS
& POTBELLIED PIGS<br><br>
</b>
Vol. 3 Issue 7 July, 2002<br>
:<br>
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<b>CONTENTS<br><br>
</b> - Hello
there . . .<br><br>
- Inside
Story<br><br>
- Ape on a
Wet Thatched Roof<br><br>
- Don't Bail
Out of Marriage Too Soon<br><br>
- eNony
Mouse - weighty problems<br><br>
- Budget
Vegetable Gardens - from scraps<br><br>
- Discover
The 90-10 Secret<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>HELLO THERE . . .<br><br>
</b>…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain<br>
and thoughts without boundaries…<br><br>
It's cold and raining, so naturally my thoughts turned to food and
I<br>
remembered Ron Williams' article (which I knew I had filed away<br>
somewhere) on setting up a vegetable garden from kitchen<br>
scraps. This idea seems tailor-made for those of you living
in<br>
fertile places like Florida.<br><br>
Not that the coastal regions of Kwa-Zulu Natal aren't fertile<br>
enough, but mention vegetables to my husband and he gets<br>
rather beady. Soon after we moved here he cleared a patch of<br>
bush (it took days) and planted potatoes, while a troop of<br>
monkeys sat in a nearby tree and watched him sweat.<br><br>
Well, you guessed it. The monkeys got the potatoes before he<br>
did because they don't care how small they are. Since then
he's<br>
become rather lazy so no doubt we'll continue buying our<br>
tomatoes and things across the road. When you read Ron's<br>
article you'll notice he refers to something called 'choko' and if<br>
anyone can identify/translate this please let me know.
There's<br>
quite a few things here that could be covered by a quick-growing,<br>
concealing vine that also produces fruit - for the monkeys of<br>
course.<br><br>
In 'Discover The 90-10 Secret' Arlen Busenitz reveals how to<br>
change one's life completely by giving up screaming and yelling -<br>
I really must read it again. And apart from that there's the usual
<br>
malice in Griselda's Inside Story, more about Pookie, and a<br>
contribution from Melvin Durai on divorce. This is based on
the<br>
better the devil you know theory - which I entirely agree with.<br><br>
I hope you enjoy this issue, and make sure you have a good<br>
month.<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
NEWBIES, NERDS & NITWITS<br>
'Support' ezine for everyone needing a helping<br>
hand with their first forays around a PC and the<br>
Internet.<br>
Subscribe today by sending a blank email to:<br>
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<b>INSIDE STORY<br><br>
</b>
by Griselda<br><br>
<i> I know I promised you the next best thing to a Rose Garden
-<br>
and I must say I'm disappointed. I thought Pam Allen
would at<br>
least be honest but obviously she's intimidated. I should
really<br>
make one or two alterations. (For instance Pam thought I was<br>
going on holiday - doesn't she realise that if I went on
leave that<br>
nothing, even slightly critical of Sheldene, would get into
this<br>
ezine?)<br><br>
</i>'WELL, here I am, Sheldene's cohort in computer chaos.<br>
Ostensibly, Griselda is on a much deserved vacation, but I'm<br>
quite sure the poor girl is locked in the attic. Sheldene is being<br>
inundated with highly anticipated visits from family, and I know<br>
that she doesn't want them to have the faintest clue as to her<br>
bizarre habits. Anyway, I agreed to take over the Inside Story for<br>
this edition. I think Sheldene hopes I'll dispel the
impression that<br>
poor Griselda has given, and paint her ladyship as a very<br>
organized, quite superior specimen of computer usage. *sigh*<br>
No chance of that, dear readers. Suffice it to say, that if we had<br>
one more person in our little duo, we'd be a threat to the Three<br>
Stooges.<br><br>
'We've been working frantically, trying to get the Newbies and<br>
Nitwits computer help site transferred to a new server. It<br>
basically had to be done from scratch, with every page laid out<br>
by hand, and content lovingly pasted in the proper place. I<br>
whipped a copy of a high-tech HTML editing program across the<br>
world, right to her doorstep, so we could both work on the site<br>
together. Unfortunately, neither of us had the first clue about<br>
using this program. She had it set up one way, I had it set up<br>
another. She sent me files to check, I sent her files to check. We<br>
assumed (quite stupidly, as it turns out) that since we both used<br>
the same program, everything would work the same on either<br>
end. Ha!<br><br>
'It took us two months of daily emails just to get things set up so<br>
that both our programs were looking in the same place for the<br>
pictures. Of course, I wonder how much of it was really a<br>
'misunderstanding' since it was my picture that never showed<br>
up on the page.<br><br>
'And the buttons! Don't get me started on the buttons. Sheldene<br>
just had to have specific buttons on the pages. Simple buttons<br>
weren't good enough, she had to have SPECIAL buttons. Of<br>
course, the buttons she selected are supposed to do all sorts of<br>
complex things, like fill out forms, send emails, what have you.<br>
Sheldene spent weeks figuring out how to make these buttons<br>
simply go to another page.<br><br>
'Instead of having one little bitty line that says 'go here when a<br>
reader clicks', we've got entire paragraphs of commands that<br>
circle, and loop, and eventually end up on page 2. Oh well, she<br>
has her buttons, and all is right with the world.<br><br>
'Newbies and Nitwits is up and running, and looks quite<br>
impressive, if I do say so myself. It's a never ending project, as<br>
we keep thinking of new and exciting things to add to the site. I<br>
find ways to do what we want, and then let her add the
buttons.<br>
We've gotten along smashingly well throughout the ordeal, and I<br>
know Griselda was making it up when she said that Sheldene<br>
kept muttering about 'that bossy, pain-in-the-rear American'.<br><br>
'Of course Sheldene denies ever muttering anything like that!'<br><br>
<i>(Just wait, Pam, - until the next time
you need to<br>
make use of my outstanding
skills- Ed.)<br><br>
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CONFUSED BY EMAIL?<br>
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know about email accounts, clients, web based, headers, virus<br>
killers, Subject lines, Pop 3's, aliases and all the other<br>
Gobbledygook? The picture-driven 'Email for Newbies' from the<br>
Newbie Club, will solve your frustrations immediately. Go NOW<br>
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<i> More about Pookie<br><br>
</i>
<b>APE ON A WET THATCHED ROOF<br><br>
</b>TIME flies whether or not you are having fun. A couple of
years<br>
went by and the monkey, Pookie, remained firmly ensconced as<br>
an unruly member of our family.<br><br>
Then suddenly it was all happening. We decided to move to a<br>
farm a, a little closer to town, where my husband, Keith,
would<br>
be able to train as well as breed racehorses. Rhodesia's 'bush'<br>
war was now in full swing and I had, inadvertently, become<br>
pregnant.<br><br>
I believe some people callously dump the family cat because it<br>
might interfere with, or try to suffocate, the anticipated baby.<br>
Needless to say our flock of cats were quite safe as we never even<br>
considered getting rid of our bullying, biting monkey.<br><br>
I recall being far too busy, shocked and cross to want to discuss<br>
the impending happy event, and Keith pretended he was equally<br>
annoyed. Adrian, the monkey's mentor, was absolutely furious<br>
as well as being ashamed of his parents, while Avalon, the eight-<br>
year-old reigning baby, had to come to terms with soon<br>
becoming an ex-infant.<br><br>
Only Miranda and Llewelyn, who were used to being 'middle'<br>
children, were completely unmoved. The latter was still
battling<br>
to survive the stresses and strains of a life lived in close<br>
proximity to Pookie, while Miranda quietly prepared to become<br>
one of the world's most difficult teenagers.<br><br>
Major moves are always traumatic so a Chant relocation could<br>
safely be classified as doubly so. Uprooting four children is
bad<br>
enough, but what about transplanting four dogs, 22 cats, a few<br>
rabbits, a pet rat, my two horses, and a monkey?<br><br>
To make matters worse we were moving from a civilised four-<br>
bedroom house, designed for gracious living, to a collection of<br>
disconnected thatched huts which were, of course, going to be<br>
transformed later.<br><br>
Come the great day, my job was to ferry carloads of livestock.<br>
Then there was a problem with the Indian driver of the furniture<br>
removal truck because it was against his religion to have<br>
anything to do with dogs - let alone transport the big ones that<br>
might not fit in my car. And to cap it all it was
raining.<br><br>
Adrian and Pookie travelled as part of one of the early 'cat
loads',<br>
and the rest of the family arrived hot on the heels of the dogs and<br>
furniture. By now it was bucketing down and it was clear<br>
everything we owned would soon be sodden.<br><br>
So Pookie chose that moment to leap out of a rondavel (hut),<br>
thereby providing the furniture removers with just the excuse they<br>
wanted to drop most of our mattresses in the mud.
Surprisingly<br>
we did sleep in our beds that night, probably because Freitwell,<br>
Bubu and Anatoria, who were used to working under pressure,<br>
had chosen to move with us.<br><br>
For the next week or so, having quickly settled in to our new<br>
quarters, Pookie had a wonderful time terrifying this farm's labour<br>
force. He never actually savaged anyone but most of the men<br>
were completely unnerved, not knowing when this fiend would<br>
come scampering across a roof, or simply drop out of a tree, in<br>
order to harass them.<br><br>
Women balancing water buckets on their heads tossed them<br>
aside, shreiking, while their wide-eyed children peeped at
the<br>
proceedings from behind bushes and shed doors. Normal<br>
monkeys would not choose to come so close to humans but by<br>
this time Pookie had no fears.<br><br>
It was all a bit tiring and, as usual, he kept the best tricks for
his<br>
adopted family.<br><br>
Shortly after the move my best friend, Betty, came to view our<br>
new hovels, bringing with her Serena, whom I barely knew, and a<br>
chocolate cake.<br><br>
Many people disliked Pookie but Betty loathed him.
Sweeping<br>
into the 'lounge' rondavel her first words were 'Where's that<br>
horrible monkey?', so I quickly assured her he was playing
with<br>
Adrian 'somewhere'.<br><br>
Just as I was about to sink my teeth into the first piece of
cake<br>
we noticed the malevolent animal crouching high in the
rafters.<br><br>
'Oh dear', said Serena, with feeling.<br><br>
'Don't worry', I replied airily. 'He won't come down
from...'<br><br>
Then Pookie, in orbit, flashed past me, landing on Serena's<br>
shoulder. Foolishly she yelped, thereby earning a sharp nip,
but<br>
Pookie was already advancing on his real target.<br><br>
Although Betty tried to protect her cake she could not
withstand<br>
Pookie's menacing gestures for long. Then he was up and<br>
away, with the cake, and out the window.<br><br>
Frankly I felt Serena made an inordinate fuss about the litle
bite<br>
on her neck. Meanwhile Betty was raging, having been
outfaced<br>
and robbed by the monkey she detested, and they left as soon<br>
as I'd managed to unearth some disinfectant for Serena's tiny<br>
wound.<br><br>
Later I learned Serena had been sick, for quite a while, with
a<br>
low grade fever. Which I'm sure was caused by a virus of
some<br>
sort. Naturally Betty is convinced, to this day, that
Serena's<br>
mysterious illness was the result of a bite from 'poisonous'<br>
Pookie.<br><br>
So it was really thanks to Pookie that Betty never got around
to<br>
telling me that I could, under no circumstances, name the new<br>
baby, Merlyn. The next time we met Merlyn (how could I
have<br>
possibly called him anything else?) had joined the
menagerie.<br><br>
<b> Copyright 2000 Sheldene Chant<br><br>
</b> <i>*The previous three articles about Pookie can<br>
be found in the April, May and June issues at<br>
<a href="http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs/read" eudora="autourl">http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs/read</a><br><br>
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<b> 'DON'T BAIL OUT OF MARRIAGE TOO SOON'<br>
</b> warns Melvin Durai<br><br>
FEEL like getting a divorce? Forget about it. A new study<br>
shows that splitting up won't necessarily make you happier,<br>
that you have a better chance of being happy if you stay<br>
with your lousy, good-for-nothing spouse.<br><br>
Hey, people change. Situations change. Even body odors<br>
change. (Today he smells like sour milk; tomorrow he may<br>
smell like fine cheese.)<br><br>
So tear up that divorce petition. Get rid of that divorce lawyer.<br>
And send your spouse a box of candy and a note: 'Did I say I<br>
want a divorce? I meant to say I want a device! Yes, a new<br>
remote control. This is all a big misunderstanding, honey. It's my<br>
fault, really. I need to work on my pronunciations.'<br><br>
The study, conducted primarily at the University of Chicago,<br>
identified 645 unhappy spouses in a national database. After<br>
five years, 167 were divorced or separated, with about half of<br>
them happy. (The ones who got custody of the Lexus.)<br><br>
Of the 478 who stayed married, two-thirds were happy. What<br>
does all this mean? It's simple: Living with a pain-in-the-neck is<br>
better than trying to chop it off.<br><br>
Anything can happen in five years to improve a marriage: more<br>
communication, more commitment, more Viagra.<br><br>
Of course, in some marriages, five years may seem an eternity.<br>
Just ask the former wives of Mike Tyson if they'd give him five<br>
years. 'Five years? Sure, we'd give him five years -- in the<br>
slammer! Certainly not with us. As the divorce court judge said,<br>
we're done serving our time.'<br><br>
For these women and others, living in matrimony was never as<br>
joyful as living on alimony.<br><br>
But even the worst marriages can be saved, as the study clearly<br>
shows. Of the unhappiest spouses who stuck it out, a staggering<br>
80% were happy five years later, perhaps because they all<br>
received free marriage counseling -- almost every day on Oprah.<br><br>
Interviews of the once-unhappy spouses revealed three<br>
routes to happiness:<br><br>
---Marital endurance: As time went by, sources of conflict eased.<br>
Household incomes grew, gifts of jewelry arrived, and the nightly<br>
headaches disappeared. 'Not tonight, honey' turned into 'Not just<br>
tonight, honey.'<br><br>
---Marital work: Spouses worked hard to save their marriages.<br>
Their winning strategies included changing their behavior,<br>
improving communication skills, and finding time to wear<br>
deodorant.<br><br>
---Personal change: Spouses discovered ways to be happy<br>
despite a mediocre marriage. Some focused on their jobs,<br>
others focused on their children, and a few focused on<br>
Antonio Banderas.<br><br>
Middle-aged woman: 'My husband doesn't find me attractive<br>
anymore, but Antonio thinks I'm cute.'<br><br>
Friend: 'You've spoken to Antonio Banderas???'<br><br>
Woman: 'Of course. I speak to Antonio all the time. Every time I<br>
visit his website. That's why I bought a computer. I can use my<br>
Hotmail account to send Antonio some really hot mail.'<br><br>
Friend: 'Perhaps you should try Yahoo, because that's exactly<br>
what you're turning into.'<br><br>
When marriages go sour, divorce may seem like the best<br>
answer, at least for those who aren't content with the Internet.<br>
But the study seems to indicate otherwise. With the divorce rate<br>
soaring in America, perhaps more people should just hang in<br>
there and work on their marriages.<br><br>
'Honey, did I say that I'm leaving you? Well, I didn't finish my<br>
sentence. I meant to say that I'm leaving you all my credit cards.<br>
Buy whatever makes you happy: a diamond ring, a pearl<br>
necklace, a poster of Antonio Banderas.'<br><br>
<b>(c) Copyright 2002 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.<br>
</b><a href="http://www.melvindurai.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.MelvinDurai.com</a><br>
___________________________<br>
<i>Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and<br>
occasional stand-up comedian. Born in India and raised<br>
in Zambia, he has lived in the U.S. since 1982. Through<br>
the Internet, his column is read by thousands of people<br>
in more than 90 countries. To subscribe send a blank<br>
email to: Join-Funn-@relay.netatlantic.com<br>
or go to: <a href="http://melvindurai.com/sub.htm" eudora="autourl">http://MelvinDurai.com/sub.htm</a><br><br>
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<b>eNonyMouse<br>
</b> <br>
<i>...addresses problems relating<br>
to weight and fitness....<br><br>
</i>It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you<br>
add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to<br>
spend an additional months in a nursing home at $5000 per<br>
month.<br><br>
The only reason to take up exercising is to hear heavy breathing<br>
again.<br><br>
'I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't<br>
lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.'<br><br>
Long walks are great, especially when they are taken by people<br>
who annoy you.<br><br>
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.<br><br>
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small<br>
country.<br><br>
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<b> BUDGET VEGGIE GARDENS FROM KITCHEN SCRAPS<br>
</b> by Ron Williams<br><br>
IT does not matter whether you put your Kitchen scraps in the<br>
compost or the bin, did you know that you could grow many of<br>
your favourite fruit or vegetables from those scraps. Indeed,<br>
unless your compost is very well matured you will find stray<br>
veggie seedlings may appear wherever you deposit the<br>
compost.<br><br>
Take for instance those potato peelings. If it is a fairly thick<br>
section of peel with an eye (shoot), then you can often get these<br>
to grow into full potato plants. You can also get sweet potatoes<br>
and taros to grow from sections of the tubers.<br><br>
Have you ever tried to plant or thought about trying to plant the<br>
seeds from a particularly nice tomato, capsicum, chilli,<br>
watermelon or pumpkin. While any plants grown from such seed<br>
may vary quite a lot from the parent fruit, you can still achieve<br>
fairly good results from them if you are on a tight budget.<br><br>
While the plants grown from seeds of many of your kitchen<br>
scraps will not produce fruit to the same high standard as the<br>
original fruit/vegetables, this is because of the complicated<br>
interbreeding programs put into place by big seed companies.<br>
The progeny can give a very wide range of resulting offspring in<br>
relation to the size, quality and quantity of the fruit. But if you<br>
come across one or two particularly good plants in the resulting<br>
season, then reuse the seeds of that and always-in future pick<br>
the best fruit from the best plants for your future propagation<br>
material.<br><br>
Though there are some veggies in the kitchen where it is not<br>
possible to grow them from the seed in the fruit. These are those<br>
vegetables where the edible fruit is still in an immature state and<br>
the seed is not yet viable. These fruit/veggies include the<br>
cucumbers, okra, zuchinni and squashes to name just a few.<br>
This is because the fruit, when it reaches a stage where the<br>
seed is viable, is just too big and coarse for human consumption.<br><br>
Leave the top of a pineapple out in a shady spot for a week<br>
or so during warm weather, then strip back the lower dead<br>
leaves. You may even notice some small juvenile roots already<br>
forming at the base of the plant top. One thing to remember with<br>
pineapples is that it is a species of bromeliad. And as such it<br>
requires the same moist but well drained growing conditions.<br><br>
When the garlic cloves are starting to get a green sprout coming<br>
out of the top, it is a pretty good indication, that it might be a good<br>
idea to plant them out individually for a good harvest in about<br>
8-10 months time of this fairly expensive herb plant. Treat it like<br>
any member of the onion tribe, because they like moist, well<br>
drained soil and a fair amount of feeding during the growing<br>
season. Harvest as the tops are dying back. But let them dry out<br>
in a cool but airy place, before you try to use them back in the<br>
kitchen.<br><br>
Another fruit/vegetable along a similar line is corn, try leaving a<br>
fresh, uncooked cob of sweet corn in a shady dry spot for a<br>
couple of weeks, then you can strip the kernels away from the<br>
cob and plant them, or a quicker suggestion is to grab a handful<br>
of corn kernels out of a packet of popping corn, The only<br>
comment would be that corn grown from these seeds would not<br>
be as sweet or juicy as sweet corn, and in reality would be better<br>
dried and used as popping corn.<br><br>
Why not try growing your own peanuts (groundnuts), always only<br>
use the raw nuts, and only choosing those nuts, which are still<br>
whole and encased in the brown skin. Peanuts can be grown<br>
during warmer weather in most temperate and subtropical parts<br>
of the world.<br><br>
One of the fascinating things about peanuts is that they are one<br>
of the only plants which flowers set fruit and then bury and<br>
preplant their own seed ready for later germination. Yes the<br>
peanut, which is dug from the ground, is actually a fruit buried by<br>
the parent plant, after flowering.<br><br>
You can always grow your own ginger; all it takes is a section of<br>
the root, purchased from a greengrocer. Plant it in a well drained<br>
but moist soil. Allowing plenty of room for the plant to spread out.<br>
You can be harvesting your own ginger roots within about 8-12<br>
months.<br><br>
Whether you have got a long fence, chookpen or an unsightly<br>
shed to cover, why not try planting a choko. The vine can be very<br>
prolific, as long as you keep the moisture and fertiliser up to it.<br>
Though once it is established, it can be left to fend for itself, and<br>
will still produce a steady supply of fruit for the family.<br><br>
If you have a few dollars why not look at purchasing some of the<br>
heritage or heirloom seed ranges of fruit and vegetables. Many<br>
seed firms as well as organisations like the Seed Savers<br>
Network have many fascinating and unusual varieties of plants<br>
available for the home gardener to grow.<br><br>
Of course once you have various plants growing in your veggie<br>
garden don't forget to keep some propagating material back (<br>
whether it is root sections, seed or divisions), for future plantings.<br><br>
Also you should think about letting certain plants like lettuce,<br>
parsley and basil go to seed, for planting later. I regularly have to<br>
weed my lawns around the gardens for rogue seedlings of the<br>
above plants.Such spare seedling weeds are easily replanted or<br>
swapped with other gardeners for plants I don't yet have, or given<br>
to school and/or charity plant stalls. It is useful to have weeds<br>
that other people want and are willing to pay for.<br><br>
While it usually not a good idea to try and propagate most of the<br>
tree fruit, simply from a time perspective and again because the<br>
results can also be very variable, it is still interesting to try even if<br>
you only end up getting a potplant out of the results. It is possible<br>
to grow the seeds of such trees as mangoes, citrus, avocado,<br>
apple, pear, etc. While the fruit of some species simply have no<br>
viable seed at all eg, bananas. There is however a few, which<br>
readily lend themselves to home propagation eg, pawpaw<br>
(papaya), tree tomatoes, unroasted coffee beans, etc. I<br>
remember as a child, accidentally germinated a coconut palm,<br>
from throwing the mostly eaten out shell onto a garden bed for a<br>
few months.<br><br>
Another suggestion for those of you out there, who are visited by<br>
birds to your garden, why not take a handful of birdseed and plant<br>
it out in an out of the way section of your garden. These bird<br>
friendly plants like Sunflower, oats, sorghum, etc, can be a real<br>
bonus for many native birds to supplement their diet. Many of the<br>
seeds in any packet of birdseed are very viable.<br><br>
When my kids were younger and I was showing them such<br>
wonders, I used to have trouble convincing them I could not<br>
do similar things in growing and multiplying a variety of items<br>
of importance to them at the time, from toys to chocolate, lollies<br>
and even coins.<br><br>
<b> © Copyright 2001 Ron Williams<br>
</b>____________________<br>
<i>Ron Williams is a freelance writer as well as being a<br>
Horticulturist and a Rehabilitation Therapy Aid at a<br>
Psychiatric Hospital in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. He<br>
writes ezines for wz.com and runs his own website called Bare<br>
Bones Gardening. He also owns a discussion group about<br>
Australian Gardening, called Austgardens at<br>
<a href="http://www.groups.yahoo.com/" eudora="autourl">www.groups.yahoo.com</a>. Also visit<br>
<a href="http://www.geocities.com/impatients63/" eudora="autourl">http://www.geocities.com/impatients63/</a><br><br>
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<b>DISCOVER THE 90/10 SECRET: CHANGE YOUR LIFE<br>
</b> says Arlen Busenitz.<br><br>
THE 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this<br>
secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved<br>
stress, trials, problems, and heartache.<br><br>
They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad<br>
days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is<br>
constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry<br>
consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary<br>
and is not enjoyed to the fullest.. Friends are lost. Life is a bore<br>
and often seems cruel.<br><br>
Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can<br>
be different!. Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will<br>
change your life! What is this secret?<br><br>
Ten percent of life is made up of what happens to you. Ninety<br>
percent of life is decided by how you react.<br><br>
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of<br>
what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking<br>
down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole<br>
schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no<br>
control over this 10%. The other 90% is different.<br><br>
You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You<br>
cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't<br>
let people fool you, YOU can control how you react! Let's use an<br>
example.<br><br>
You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks<br>
over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no<br>
control over what just happened. What happens next will be<br>
determined by how you react.<br><br>
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the<br>
coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her,<br>
you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too<br>
close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You<br>
storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find<br>
your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and<br>
get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must<br>
leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your<br>
daughter to school.<br><br>
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph<br>
speed limit.. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 away, you<br>
arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying<br>
good-bye.<br><br>
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot<br>
your briefcase. Your day has started off terribly. As it continues, it<br>
seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home,<br>
but when you arrive you find a small wedge in your relationship<br>
with your spouse and daughter.Why? Because of how you<br>
reacted in the morning.<br><br>
Why did you have a bad day? ___<br>
a) Did the coffee cause it?<br>
b) Did your daughter cause it?<br>
c) Did the policeman cause it?<br>
d) Did you cause it?<br><br>
The answer is d). You had no control over what happened with<br>
the coffee. How you reacted in those five seconds is what<br>
caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have<br>
happened.<br><br>
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You<br>
gently say 'It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next<br>
time.' Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.<br><br>
After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back<br>
down in time look through the window and see your child getting<br>
on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss<br>
before you both go to work. You arrive five minutes early and<br>
cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of<br>
day you are having.<br><br>
Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the<br>
same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you reacted.<br>
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.<br>
The other 90% is determined by your reaction. Here are some<br>
ways to apply the 90/10 secret.<br><br>
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a<br>
sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not<br>
have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and<br>
it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a<br>
friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.<br><br>
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose<br>
your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had<br>
the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood<br>
pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? Who cares if<br>
you arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin<br>
your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry<br>
about it!<br><br>
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It<br>
will work out. Use your 'worrying' energy and time into finding<br>
another job.<br><br>
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day.<br>
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no<br>
control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know<br>
the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make<br>
things worse.<br><br>
You now know the 90-10 secret. Apply it and you will be<br>
amazed at the results.<br><br>
(c) Copyright 2001, Arlen Busenitz.<br>
___________________________<br>
<i>Arlen is a free lance writer specializing in people skills and<br>
personal improvement. Discover the Secret to Making<br>
People Like You-- Free<br>
<a href="http://www.magic-people-skills.com/?90:10" eudora="autourl">http://www.Magic-People-Skills.com?90:10</a><br>
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