|
Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs - June,2003
|
Sheldene Chant
|
Jun 19, 2003 03:22 PDT
|
--=====================_2358885==_.ALT
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"; format=flowed
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
POIGNANT PEARLS & POTBELLIED PIGS
Vol. 4 Issue 2 June, 2003
:
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
You are receiving this newsletter because you
requested it. Our subscriber list is confidential.
List maintenance instructions appear at the
end of this ezine
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
CONTENTS
- Hello there . . .
- Inside Story
- Of Birds and Bees
- eNonyMouse - warnings about women
- Feeling a Little Camera Shy
- Fly Away Home
- Not Just a Winter Treat
- Gifts From Your Inner Donkey
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
HELLO THERE . . .
…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain and
thoughts without boundaries…
(I am, of course, addressing those who did not rush along
to Topica and press 'delete' because you either thought or hoped
I was dead because of the long silence. Due to some people's
rash actions our subscriber list has shrunk somewhat so, please,
pass this issue on to any like minded lunatics who might enjoy
reading it. You never know - they might even subscribe.).
Without a doubt Griselda will be giving a blow by blow account in
Inside Story of what has been happening in the last four months
(she's so predictable). So I'll get on with this issue which I've
enjoyed putting together because the articles have amused and
inspired me.
Debbie Rodgers talks about building a house for visiting birds in
Fly Away Home - which reminded me of all the birds I've never
thought of accommodating properly, and made me think of some
of the awkward situations I've been in, thanks to our avian friends.
Of Birds and Bees includes most of the ghastly details.
As I've said before one thing leads to another. While I was
concentrating on 'little people with feathers' a Pearls & Pigs
subscriber forwarded an excerpt from the Birds and Blooms
online newsletter - see Not Just a Winter Treat.
I never knew birds liked suet but now that I'm better informed I'm
definitely going to try some of these recipes
Melvin Durai's Feeling a Little Camera Shy? almost provoked
another outpouring, which I've put on hold for now, and I found
Stephanie West Allen's Gifts From Your Inner Donkey quite
delightful. Probably because I'm a natural Eeyore - full of gloom,
doom and snide comments.
I've spent years of my life trying to be bright-eyed, bushy-tailed
and optimistic, just like Pollyanna, so I may not have the nerve to
follow Stephanie's advice and enjoy a few Eeyore moments.
I'm so brainwashed by the positive thinkers that I believe the sky
really would fall in if I deliberately did that!
However an Eeyore day could give rise to interesting situations.
If you're brave enough to try one, why not write about it for a
future issue of 'Pearls & Pigs'? I'd like to include more
contributions from readers.... My email address is included in List
Mechanics at the end of each issue.
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
NEWBIES, NERDS & NITWITS
'Support' ezine for everyone needing a helping
hand with their first forays around a PC and the
Internet.
Subscribe today by sending a blank email to:
mailto:nerdsandnitwi-@topica.com
VISIT the website - read the most recent issues -
http://www.newbiesandnitwits.com
To view all previous issues surf to:
http://www.topica.com/lists/nerdsandnitwits/read
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
INSIDE STORY
by Griselda
I HAVE been instructed to keep this short. As you know she
does this occasionally in an attempt to muzzle me. You cannot
imagine how I have suffered in the months we have been out of
touch.
In February Sheldene's computer went into a freezing frenzy, like
every two minutes, which meant we could'nt do anything other
than download email - and that wasn't easy. Sometimes I had to
reconnect three times to retrieve ten messages. Of course her
attitude was at all times unhelpful. Anyone would think I had
broken the PC personally.
However in the last two weeks the heat has been taken off and
she now has, inevitably, another conspiracy theory.
I think I have mentioned before that Sheldene has a tame
computer technician. He was no doubt sick and tired of being
called in because of her problem computer so he suggested
about a year ago that she upgrade it.
As she refused to get a new one he persuaded her to buy, with
his help, a new motherboard and various other pieces - which are
still sitting at the top of her cupboard. Whenever he suggested
replacing the motherboard etc Sheldene refused because she
might lose some of the junk stored on the computer. So the
freezing every half hour - and the whining - continued.
In February disaster struck (as I've explained the PC was
virtually useless), and the said technician was strangely reluctant
to come anywhere near it. He promised - but became sick..
Sheldene tried everything she could think of - probably making a
bad situation worse - and in the process began behaving as if
she was more demented than usual. By the end of March she
would leave the room, screaming, if anyone mentioned a
computer - especially one that worked.
Then two weeks ago our techie recovered from his serious
illness (because he is about to move to Cape Town, I think). He
came to see Sheldene because he needed to do some banking
urgently and his internet connection was down
'Of course you can TRY and use my computer', Sheldene said
haughtily. 'I hope you enjoy it when it freezes the instant you
connect to your bank.'
Then she stamped out, but stayed close enough to be able to
hear and enjoy his frustrated cursing.
It didn't happen.
After a while he emerged, said thank you, he'd managed alright,
but he must rush off...
Sheldene was extremely put out. Since then her computer has
been behaving exceptionally well - and instead of being grateful
she's tying herself in knots trying to work out what the techie did.
The only certainty is that whatever that was it was something he
didn't choose to do before.
(I suppose there are some grains of truth hidden
within all the rhetoric- Ed.)
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
CONFUSED BY EMAIL?
Are You Totally Confused by the complexities of Email? Don't
know about email accounts, clients, web based, headers, virus
killers, Subject lines, Pop 3's, aliases and all the other
Gobbledygook? The picture-driven 'Email for Newbies' from the
Newbie Club, will solve your frustrations immediately. Go NOW
to http://newbieclub.com/efncopy/?pearlsandpigs
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
OF BIRDS AND BEES
WOULD you be surprised, or simply disgusted, if I confessed to
once employing water cannon tactics in order to recapture a love
bird?
Needless to say this was a last resort. My children had been
chasing the annoying bird for hours and hawks were circling
above, waiting for us to retire defeated.
Somewhere I'd read that birds with soaked feathers can't fly
properly. So, when all else failed, I sent for the hosepipe and,
shrieking with glee, we scampered about attempting to drench
the escapee. As the hosepipe was tethered and the bird wasn't,
both grass and pursuers were waterlogged long before we
achieved our objective. However, at last he settled on top of the
aviary, within reach.
These so-called lovebirds resemble miniature parrots with
brilliant green plumage and rosy cheeks. They look sweet
enough but have nasty, bullying natures. My husband, the family
bird fancier, introduced several into an aviary stocked with
budgies and the love birds' behaviour was frightful right from the
start.
The budgies were tossed out of the nesting boxes and if they
persisted in laying an egg the love birds destroyed it. Although
the budgies outnumbered the love birds and were much the
same size, the newcomers ruled the roost.
Jack the crow was the next bird to enter our orbit. He slept in my
son's bedroom and when Adrian was at home he sat on his
shoulder most of the time. Otherwise Jack flew around the
garden and kept us amused with his antics.
Unfortunately this intelligent and humorous bird ventured too far
one day and returned home very distressed. We watched Jack's
death throes helplessly and could only conclude that he had
ingested some farmer's fertilizer.
Shortly afterwards Adrian found an orphan owl which also
resided in his bedroom. What a nightmare.
Although too young to fly the owlet's talons were well developed -
and he liked to use them. He never moved from the wooden
railing at the head of the bed. Always threatening and unfriendly
he only altered his stance slightly to gobble food.
At first he scorned the meat we offered and was on the edge of
starvation when we discovered that owls prefer steak wrapped in
fur. As we weren't about to supply live mice, Adrian had to beg
for hair clippings from the local barber.
After several months and many attempts we persuaded this
unpleasant lodger to leave. He nested in the stable yard,
recognisable by his awful glare, but resolutely ignored us.
Our next trick was to erect a pigeon house for four white fantails.
Soon we were the proud owners of a flock of little fantails - and
then the bees struck.
Gentle pigeons are no match for angry African bees and the
birds fled. The garden wasn't nearly so attractive without them
so we persuaded a beekeeper to remove the swarm and bought
more fantails.
Within weeks another gang of bees decided the pigeon cote
was really a hive. Waving a sad farewell to our displaced
fantails we had to get used to being harassed by bees.
As I was denied ornamental pigeons I replaced them with two
pairs of peacocks who adorned the lawn and kept it free of
insects. Haughty to begin with the peacocks eventually followed
us around and if we stayed inside they pecked at the windows.
The two males paraded on the verandah and displayed their
splendid tails while admiring themselves in the panes of
glass.
At night they climbed the tallest tree and on one occasion saved
the neighbourhood from instant incineration by rousing us with
their raucous cries when some vacant land caught fire.
In spite of this a neighbour, Mr Burns, mounted a hate campaign
against them. Peacocks are quiet, except during the breeding
season when they screech incessantly. There were other
peacocks in the area but Mr Burns chose to focus on mine and
phoned us at 3 am:
'I'm coming to shoot those peacocks', he snarled.
'Feel free", I said. 'I'll be waiting for you with my revolver.'
We didn't own a gun but I leapt out of bed anyway and spent two
hours pacing through the house while the peacocks continued
making a dreadful noise.
At 5am I presented myself at the nearest police station in order
to get my complaint in first. Two police officers attempted to
hear me out but the air was alive with the sound of excited
peacocks.
'Are those your peacocks?', one of the policemen asked wearily.
'Of course not, I live miles away'.
It was obvious I had nothing to fear from a police force who had
learned to live with their own amorous peacock problem.
However after that we began herding our peacocks into an
empty chicken run at night as they were at their loudest when
settled in the tree.
One morning we found the peacocks torn to pieces - savaged
by some marauding animal while they were confined - and my
hatred for Mr Burns was without limits.
I thought about getting bantams or guinea fowl but eventually
common sense prevailed as our record as bird keepers was
abysmal.
Now we feed the wild variety, while keeping our distance.
Fortunately the small mammals we lavish with affection manage
to survive.
Copyright © 2003 Sheldene Chant
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
PLEASE FORWARD Pearls & Pigs to friends, but when doing
so ask them NOT to remove you from the list by accident.
To be safe, before you forward, delete the easy 'remove
yourself' link which now appears at the bottom of all the mail
lists Topica sends out.
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
PLEASE RATE THIS EZINE
Please rate this Ezine at the Cumuli Ezine Finder
http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/ra20461.rate
Editor's note: When you click to rate us please make
sure you check the number. It's automatically set at 5,
but you can go as high as 10. Make sure you change
it to the number you want
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
eNonyMouse
Men seem to think women are a very confusing
species. Learning the language might help.
FINE
This is the word used at the end of any argument that a woman
feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use
'fine' to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have
one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that a
football game lasts before a man gets around to taking out the
trash.
NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. 'Nothing'
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to
turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
'Nothing' and will end with the word 'Fine.'
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means 'I give up' or 'do what you want because I don't care.'
You will get a raised eyebrow 'Go Ahead' in just a few minutes,
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A 'Loud Sigh' means she thinks you are
an idiot and wonders why she is wasting time arguing with you
over 'Nothing.'
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. 'Soft Sighs' are one of
the few things some men actually understand. She is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can
make. 'That's Okay,' means she wants to think long and hard
before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for
doing whatever it is you have done. You have a fair chance to tell
the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a 'That's Okay.'
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, 'You're welcome.'
THANKS A LOT
This is quite different to 'Thanks.' A woman will say, 'Thanks a lot'
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies you have hurt her in
some callous way, and will be followed by a loud sigh. Be careful
not to ask what is wrong after the sigh as she will only tell you
'Nothing.'
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
FREE TUTORIALS BY AUTORESPONDER
If you are thinking about making your own web page, or
merely want to exercise your brain slightly, then send for
the web page tutorials by clicking
mailto:nerdsand-@fastresponder.com
Want to find files fast ?- then
mailto:fin-@fastresponder.com
Organising your computer - mailto:org-@fastresponder.com
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööOoo
FEELING A LITTLE CAMERA-SHY
by Melvin Durai
I'VE had some pretty embarrassing moments in my life, most
of which I would never disclose in public, even if Oprah begged
me. Thank goodness I'm part of the older generation: Most of my
embarrassments occurred before ordinary people got their
hands on video cameras.
My mother didn't follow me around with a camera, trying to
record my first bath, first date, first arrest.
These days, video cameras are everywhere. Some men can't
seem to leave home without their cameras, taking them on
every trip, even to the maternity ward.
Pregnant wife: 'Honey, haven't you forgotten something?'
Husband: 'My zoom lens? My tripod? My extra battery?'
Wife: 'No, silly. Your pants!'
The other day, at the airport, I saw a man videotaping his
wife's arrival from a trip abroad. Did he hug her? Of course
not. That might have damaged the camera. (It was a Sony, for
heaven's sake!)
I have good reason to fear this camera-happy trend. Years
ago, at a friend's wedding, a camera recorded me looking
around at the guests -- right in the middle of the prayer. You
would think someone would have had the decency, during a
prayer, to close the camera's eye.
Try as I might, I can't seem to get away from video cameras.
That's because some of my close friends have had cameras
surgically implanted into their shoulders. They've filmed me
so many times, I could probably join the Screen Actors Guild
(SAG). (Of course, if I told my wife I had joined a group
called SAG, she'd wonder which of my body parts qualified
me.)
At least a couple of my camera-toting friends seem to be
invited to every party I go to. This makes me self-conscious.
Whenever I'm burping, scratching or picking my nose, they're
pointing their cameras at me. Someone needs to teach them
manners.
Surely Miss. Manners or Emily Post has something to say
about this. These women need to make some social rules about
video cameras. Here's a good start: Before filming anyone, you
must observe proper etiquette and request their permission by
kissing their feet. If this doesn't work, you must offer to wash their
cars or baby-sit their children.
Such rules would have kept me out of many amateur movies. In
some of these movies, I'm just sitting on a chair, eating food or
chatting with a friend, trying hard not to exhibit any deviant
behavior.
I'm not sure why someone found this interesting enough to
record. Perhaps I just don't have the sharp eye of a movie
producer.
A few months ago, I was at a friend's place, chatting with
his mother-in-law, when out popped his video camera. No
warning whatsoever, not even a quick 'Action!'
I can only guess what this particular movie will be called:
'The Visitor Who Dared to Talk to the Mother-in-law'.
But don't get me wrong. Video cameras do have their place -
and not just to catch Winona. I don't mind seeing them at
special events like weddings, which occur only about twice
in a lifetime. Without the videotape, how are you supposed
to remember your first wedding?
© Copyright 2003 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
_______________________
Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and
humorist. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia
and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. Read his
previous columns at http://www.melvindurai.com
For a free subscription to his columns, send a blank
mailto:join-funn-@relay.netatlantic.com
Ööº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
FLY AWAY HOME:
Welcome Our Feathered Friends
by Debbie Rodgers
IN much of North America, this is the time when songbirds are
returning from their winter 'vacations' and setting up
housekeeping for the summer season. What can you do to invite
our feathered friends to make their homes near your outdoor
living space? Provide them with the three basics: food, water
and shelter.
When you think of homes for birds, you may automatically picture
little wooden birdhouses painted bright colours or a many-holed
martin house on a tall pole. But many, if not most, birds prefer to
make their homes in trees and shrubbery, rather than in enclosed
houses. Some larger birds such as hawks or owls prefer nesting
platforms. Those who will use a man-made house are just as
picky as human homebuyers – it must be 'just right' for them!
But even if you are confined to a city balcony, you can encourage
chickadees, nuthatches and other small birds to visit you, by
making or purchasing them a home.
Here are some do's and don'ts.
* DO look for durable construction from such materials as cedar
or cypress wood, or from pine or exterior grade plywood that has
been painted on the outside.
* DON'T use oil-based paints on the outside, and never use stain,
paint or any other finish on the inside of the house.
* DON'T use a metal roof. It will absorb sunlight and heat
the house to unusable temperatures. A wooden roof is best.
* DO leave ventilation holes for air circulation and temperature
control. Look for a 1" gap under the side eaves, or drill ¼"
holes all around the top edge of the walls.
* DON'T forget about drainage. Even the best-constructed
houses can take in water during a storm. Either cut or drill ¼"
holes in each corner and near the middle of the floor.
* DO be sure to make the house the proper size to attract the
birds that you want. (See How Big? below)
* DON'T waste your time on fancy paint jobs – they make the
house more attractive to you, but not as safe for the occupants.
The best colors are tan, gray or sage green. Remember – don't
paint the inside!
* DO give the occupants a foothold by either roughing up the
wood surface, or carving grooves just below the entry (inside and
out).
* DON'T put a perch outside the entry hole – it just gives
predators somewhere to wait for dinner.
* DO rub the inside of the roof with bar soap to help prevent
insect infestations.
* DON'T put more than one birdhouse in an area less than 100 ft
square, unless they are intended for different species. Birds like
to keep a little privacy from their neighbors too!
* DO use a metal pole, or some other guard to keep away
squirrels and other rodents.
Our own home goes beyond the physical structure in which we
live, and so does a bird's. If you can, grow a variety of plants
around your porch or patio to provide nesting sites, winter shelter,
places to hide from predators, and natural year-round food
supplies. To help out the numerous species that prefer to nest in
trees, you can hang out mesh bags of dryer lint, yarn or loose
cotton balls.
Welcome our feathered friends to your outdoor space and they
will reward you many times over with their antics and sweet
songs. Perhaps they will even teach us, as Ralph Waldo
Emerson penned, 'courage, and probity, and grace!'
How big?
To make a home for chickadees, nuthatches or downy
woodpeckers:
* floor 4"x4'"
* height 8"-10"
* entrance hole 2" from top
* entrance hole 1¼" diameter
* hang 6'-15' above the ground
___________________________
Debbie Rodgers owns and operates Paradise Porch, and is
dedicated to helping people create outdoor living spaces that
nurture and enrich them. Visit her on the web at
http://www.paradiseporch.com and get a free report on 'Eight
easy ways to create privacy in your outdoor space".
Mailto:deb-@paradiseporch.com
Ööº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
We are pleased to be members of the Ezine Publishers
Association! Join at http://www.ezinepublisher.org/
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
SUET'S NOT JUST FOR WINTER
(This appeared in the Birds and Blooms newsletter)
'MANY PEOPLE think suet is strictly a wintertime treat for birds,'
writes Pam F. from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. 'But I offer it to
birds in summer, too, in a different form--I make suet dough.'
Suet dough doesn't melt in warmer temperatures because it has
cornmeal and flour mixed in, Pam explains. That raises the
melting point.
'It's been very successful. I have so much fun watching the
chickadees and nuthatches...I've even seen a red-bellied
woodpecker take chunks of suet dough to feed to its young
waiting patiently in a nearby tree.'
Pam adds that rendered suet (suet that has been melted and
then cooled) will also help prevent a melted mess in warm
climates.
Gwen N. of Lillian, Alabama says the suet dough recipe she
follows is an all-time favorite of her backyard visitors. 'It's called
'Summer Suet', but I use it year-round,' she says. 'It's easy to
make. Just melt 1 cup lard with 1 cup crunchy peanut butter over
low heat. Stir in 1/3 cup sugar and mix well with 1 cup whole
wheat flour, 2 cups oatmeal and 2 cups cornmeal.
'You can add raisins, nuts or birdseed for variety,' Gwen notes.
After combining all the ingredients, Gwen pours the mixture into a
pan and chills it overnight. Then she cuts it into squares for easy
use and storage.
'Put a square in your suet basket and you'll have birds galore,'
she says.
________________________________
Birds & Blooms magazine brings beautiful backyards from
across America into your living room--through vivid, full-color
photos. It's like a friendly 'chat' over the back fence with your bird-
and flower-loving neighbors.
To subscribe on-line, visit
http://www.birdsandblooms.com/rd.asp?id=201
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
GIFTS FROM YOUR INNER DONKEY
or
A PHILOSOPHER WITH VERY BIG EARS
by Stephanie West Allen
EEYORE is Winnie the Pooh's cloudy, overcast, glum little
donkey friend. He never lets Pooh's optimism sway him. He
remains a funny killjoy, an amusing wet blanket. His predictable
misery has earned him many fans.
And the donkey has a gift for you. Read on.
Ernest H. Shepard has written a wonderful and witty book called
_Eeyore's Gloomy Little Instruction Book_. In the book are some
classic and typical Eeyore sayings. For example:-
'Do join in the search for a lost friend-or-relation. But don't be
surprised when nobody bothers to tell you he's been found, and
you search on alone for two days.'
Poor Eeyore. Ever feel like that?
'There are those who will wish you a good morning. If it is a good
morning which is doubtful.'
Remind you of any of your mornings?
AH, WOE IS ME
'Don't be surprised if it hails a good deal tomorrow. Blizzards and
what-not. Being fine today doesn't Mean Anything. It's just a small
piece of weather.'
Starting to get in touch with your inner Eeyore?
'If you've been invited to a party, it's probably a mistake. Make
sure they don't blame you if it rains.'
By now, you may be asking, 'Is this article I am reading supposed
to be uplifting and cheery?' Yep, it sure is. Eeyore can bring you
one of the best days ever.
THERE'S GOLD IN THE GLOOM
Most of us have an inner Eeyore. To indulge it can bring release
and laughter and freedom. To be the absolute worst whatever-it-
is-you-want-to-be lets loose in you a power that has been spent in
resisting it. A power that brings many benefits. You give yourself
permission to break the rules. Such a sweet honesty surfaces.
Trying to be a constantly upbeat, optimistic person? One reliable
path to your goal is to become dramatically the opposite. Ignore
all the blissful affirmations and joyful self-talk -- just for a short
time. You will find gold in the opposite. That may be why Eeyore
has so many fans.
AND TODAY . . .
Have some Eeyore moments. Don't be mildly glum and gloomy.
Give it your all. Be a theatrical, spectacular Drama Queen or
King. You must be the exact and true opposite of the lighthearted
and up person you want to be.
If you have heard Eeyore's voice in a movie or video, you know
how the donkey talks. Talk like Eeyore, too.
Being the opposite, the Eeyore, is fun. It is hard not to laugh when
you are Eeyore-ing. Please give it a try. You get some giggles
and a sharper focus on the kind of positive person you want to
be. Playing the opposite somehow gives you that focus.
I have to leave you now to go make my coffee. Do you think
my coffee beans were on sale because they were somehow
defective? The store was out of unbleached filters. Will my
bleached ones harm me?
Then I'll read the paper; it will be full of awful news. At least, I will
have my coffee. Wonder where I get one of those testers to make
sure my coffee mug doesn't have lead in it?
By now, I am having a great time. My inner Eeyore makes me
howl with laughter.
Go forth now, and have several Eeyore moments today. It
will be a memorable, valuable -- and positive -- day. No
doubt about it.
©Copyright 2002 Stephanie West Allen
__________________
Stephanie West Allen, JD, brings humor and
motivation to associations and organizations.
http://www.allen-nichols.com
Monday through Friday, start your day with a free Upsy
Daisy Push-up to get you going gloriously, gratefully, and
gleefully. Subscribe by sending a blank e-mail to
mailto:UpsyDaisyDai-@yahoogroups.com
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖoo
FREE EZINES
Find hundreds of quality, FREE Ezines at the Cumuli
Ezine Finder: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖoo
Copyright 2003 Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo
LIST MECHANICS
TO JOIN: Please send a BLANK email to
mailto:pearlypigs-@topica.com
VIEW PREVIOUS ISSUES AT -
http://www.sheldenechant.com or
http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs/read
If you are a Topica Member organising the lists you
subscribe to becomes less complicated.
Visit http://www.topica.com/ to join.
CONTACT INFO: Sheldene Chant (Publisher), 6 Strapp
Lane, Amanzimtoti 4126, KwaZuluNatal, South Africa.
Fax:27-31-9031635. mailto:morg-@icon.co.za .
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖoo
--=====================_2358885==_.ALT
Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
<html>
<br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>POIGNANT PEARLS & POTBELLIED PIGS<br><br>
</b>
Vol. 4 Issue 2 June, 2003<br>
:<br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<i>You
are receiving this newsletter because you<br>
requested it. Our subscriber list is confidential.<br>
List maintenance instructions appear at the<br>
end of this ezine<br><br>
</i>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b> CONTENTS<br><br>
</b> - Hello
there . . .<br><br>
- Inside
Story<br><br>
- Of Birds
and Bees<br><br>
- eNonyMouse
- warnings about women<br><br>
- Feeling a
Little Camera Shy<br><br>
- Fly Away
Home<br><br>
- Not Just a
Winter Treat<br><br>
- Gifts From
Your Inner Donkey<br><br>
<br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>HELLO THERE . . .<br><br>
</b>…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain and<br>
thoughts without boundaries…<br><br>
(I am, of course, addressing those who did not rush along<br>
to Topica and press 'delete' because you either thought or hoped<br>
I was dead because of the long silence. Due to some people's<br>
rash actions our subscriber list has shrunk somewhat so, please,<br>
pass this issue on to any like minded lunatics who might enjoy<br>
reading it. You never know - they might even subscribe.).<br><br>
Without a doubt Griselda will be giving a blow by blow account in<br>
Inside Story of what has been happening in the last four
months<br>
(she's so predictable). So I'll get on with this issue which I've<br>
enjoyed putting together because the articles have amused and<br>
inspired me.<br><br>
Debbie Rodgers talks about building a house for visiting birds in<br>
Fly Away Home - which reminded me of all the birds I've never<br>
thought of accommodating properly, and made me think of some<br>
of the awkward situations I've been in, thanks to our avian
friends.<br>
Of Birds and Bees includes most of the ghastly details.<br><br>
As I've said before one thing leads to another. While I was<br>
concentrating on 'little people with feathers' a Pearls & Pigs<br>
subscriber forwarded an excerpt from the Birds and Blooms<br>
online newsletter - see Not Just a Winter Treat.<br><br>
I never knew birds liked suet but now that I'm better informed I'm<br>
definitely going to try some of these recipes<br><br>
Melvin Durai's Feeling a Little Camera Shy? almost provoked<br>
another outpouring, which I've put on hold for now, and I found<br>
Stephanie West Allen's Gifts From Your Inner Donkey quite<br>
delightful. Probably because I'm a natural Eeyore - full of gloom,<br>
doom and snide comments.<br><br>
I've spent years of my life trying to be bright-eyed,
bushy-tailed<br>
and optimistic, just like Pollyanna, so I may not have the nerve to<br>
follow Stephanie's advice and enjoy a few Eeyore moments.<br>
I'm so brainwashed by the positive thinkers that I believe the sky<br>
really would fall in if I deliberately did that!<br><br>
However an Eeyore day could give rise to interesting situations.<br>
If you're brave enough to try one, why not write about it for
a<br>
future issue of 'Pearls & Pigs'? I'd like to include more<br>
contributions from readers.... My email address is included in List<br>
Mechanics at the end of each issue.<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
NEWBIES, NERDS & NITWITS<br>
'Support' ezine for everyone needing a helping<br>
hand with their first forays around a PC and the<br>
Internet.<br>
Subscribe today by sending a blank email to:<br>
<a href="mailto:nerdsandnitwi-@topica.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:nerdsandnitwi-@topica.com</a><br><br>
VISIT the website - read the most recent issues -<br>
<a href="http://www.newbiesandnitwits.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.newbiesandnitwits.com</a><br><br>
To view all previous issues surf to:<br>
<a href="http://www.topica.com/lists/nerdsandnitwits/read" eudora="autourl">http://www.topica.com/lists/nerdsandnitwits/read</a><br><br>
<br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>INSIDE STORY<br><br>
</b> by Griselda<br><br>
I HAVE been instructed to keep this short. As you know she<br>
does this occasionally in an attempt to muzzle me. You cannot<br>
imagine how I have suffered in the months we have been out of<br>
touch.<br><br>
In February Sheldene's computer went into a freezing frenzy, like<br>
every two minutes, which meant we could'nt do anything other<br>
than download email - and that wasn't easy. Sometimes I had
to<br>
reconnect three times to retrieve ten messages. Of course her<br>
attitude was at all times unhelpful. Anyone would think I had<br>
broken the PC personally.<br><br>
However in the last two weeks the heat has been taken off and<br>
she now has, inevitably, another conspiracy theory.<br><br>
I think I have mentioned before that Sheldene has a tame<br>
computer technician. He was no doubt sick and tired of
being<br>
called in because of her problem computer so he suggested<br>
about a year ago that she upgrade it.<br><br>
As she refused to get a new one he persuaded her to buy, with<br>
his help, a new motherboard and various other pieces - which are<br>
still sitting at the top of her cupboard. Whenever he
suggested<br>
replacing the motherboard etc Sheldene refused because she<br>
might lose some of the junk stored on the computer. So the<br>
freezing every half hour - and the whining - continued.<br><br>
In February disaster struck (as I've explained the PC was<br>
virtually useless), and the said technician was strangely reluctant<br>
to come anywhere near it. He promised - but became sick..<br><br>
Sheldene tried everything she could think of - probably making a<br>
bad situation worse - and in the process began behaving as if<br>
she was more demented than usual. By the end of March she<br>
would leave the room, screaming, if anyone mentioned a<br>
computer - especially one that worked.<br><br>
Then two weeks ago our techie recovered from his serious<br>
illness (because he is about to move to Cape Town, I think).
He<br>
came to see Sheldene because he needed to do some banking<br>
urgently and his internet connection was down<br><br>
'Of course you can TRY and use my computer', Sheldene said<br>
haughtily. 'I hope you enjoy it when it freezes the instant
you<br>
connect to your bank.'<br><br>
Then she stamped out, but stayed close enough to be able to<br>
hear and enjoy his frustrated cursing.<br><br>
It didn't happen.<br><br>
After a while he emerged, said thank you, he'd managed alright,<br>
but he must rush off...<br><br>
Sheldene was extremely put out. Since then her computer has<br>
been behaving exceptionally well - and instead of being
grateful<br>
she's tying herself in knots trying to work out what the techie
did.<br>
The only certainty is that whatever that was it was something he<br>
didn't choose to do before.<br><br>
<i>(I suppose there are some grains of truth hidden<br>
within all the rhetoric- Ed.)<br><br>
</i>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
CONFUSED BY EMAIL?<br>
Are You Totally Confused by the complexities of Email? Don't<br>
know about email accounts, clients, web based, headers, virus<br>
killers, Subject lines, Pop 3's, aliases and all the other<br>
Gobbledygook? The picture-driven 'Email for Newbies' from the<br>
Newbie Club, will solve your frustrations immediately. Go NOW<br>
to
<a href="http://newbieclub.com/efncopy/?pearlsandpigs" eudora="autourl">http://newbieclub.com/efncopy/?pearlsandpigs</a><br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b> OF BIRDS AND BEES<br><br>
</b> WOULD you be surprised, or simply disgusted, if I confessed
to<br>
once employing water cannon tactics in order to recapture a
love<br>
bird?<br><br>
Needless to say this was a last resort. My children had
been<br>
chasing the annoying bird for hours and hawks were circling<br>
above, waiting for us to retire defeated.<br><br>
Somewhere I'd read that birds with soaked feathers can't fly<br>
properly. So, when all else failed, I sent for the hosepipe
and,<br>
shrieking with glee, we scampered about attempting to drench<br>
the escapee. As the hosepipe was tethered and the bird
wasn't,<br>
both grass and pursuers were waterlogged long before we<br>
achieved our objective. However, at last he settled on top of
the<br>
aviary, within reach.<br><br>
These so-called lovebirds resemble miniature parrots with<br>
brilliant green plumage and rosy cheeks. They look
sweet<br>
enough but have nasty, bullying natures. My husband, the
family<br>
bird fancier, introduced several into an aviary stocked with<br>
budgies and the love birds' behaviour was frightful right from
the<br>
start.<br><br>
The budgies were tossed out of the nesting boxes and if they<br>
persisted in laying an egg the love birds destroyed it.
Although<br>
the budgies outnumbered the love birds and were much the<br>
same size, the newcomers ruled the roost.<br><br>
Jack the crow was the next bird to enter our orbit. He slept
in my<br>
son's bedroom and when Adrian was at home he sat on his<br>
shoulder most of the time. Otherwise Jack flew around
the<br>
garden and kept us amused with his antics.<br><br>
Unfortunately this intelligent and humorous bird ventured too
far<br>
one day and returned home very distressed. We watched
Jack's<br>
death throes helplessly and could only conclude that he had<br>
ingested some farmer's fertilizer.<br><br>
Shortly afterwards Adrian found an orphan owl which also<br>
resided in his bedroom. What a nightmare.<br><br>
Although too young to fly the owlet's talons were well developed
-<br>
and he liked to use them. He never moved from the
wooden<br>
railing at the head of the bed. Always threatening and
unfriendly<br>
he only altered his stance slightly to gobble food.<br><br>
At first he scorned the meat we offered and was on the edge
of<br>
starvation when we discovered that owls prefer steak wrapped
in<br>
fur. As we weren't about to supply live mice, Adrian had to
beg<br>
for hair clippings from the local barber.<br><br>
After several months and many attempts we persuaded this<br>
unpleasant lodger to leave. He nested in the stable
yard,<br>
recognisable by his awful glare, but resolutely ignored
us.<br><br>
Our next trick was to erect a pigeon house for four white
fantails.<br>
Soon we were the proud owners of a flock of little fantails -
and<br>
then the bees struck.<br><br>
Gentle pigeons are no match for angry African bees and the<br>
birds fled. The garden wasn't nearly so attractive without
them<br>
so we persuaded a beekeeper to remove the swarm and bought<br>
more fantails.<br><br>
Within weeks another gang of bees decided the pigeon cote<br>
was really a hive. Waving a sad farewell to our
displaced<br>
fantails we had to get used to being harassed by bees.<br><br>
As I was denied ornamental pigeons I replaced them with two<br>
pairs of peacocks who adorned the lawn and kept it free of<br>
insects. Haughty to begin with the peacocks eventually
followed<br>
us around and if we stayed inside they pecked at the windows.<br>
The two males paraded on the verandah and displayed their<br>
splendid tails while admiring themselves in the panes of<br>
glass.<br><br>
At night they climbed the tallest tree and on one occasion
saved<br>
the neighbourhood from instant incineration by rousing us
with<br>
their raucous cries when some vacant land caught
fire.<br><br>
In spite of this a neighbour, Mr Burns, mounted a hate
campaign<br>
against them. Peacocks are quiet, except during the
breeding<br>
season when they screech incessantly. There were other<br>
peacocks in the area but Mr Burns chose to focus on mine and<br>
phoned us at 3 am:<br><br>
'I'm coming to shoot those peacocks', he snarled.<br><br>
'Feel free", I said. 'I'll be waiting for you with my
revolver.'<br><br>
We didn't own a gun but I leapt out of bed anyway and spent
two<br>
hours pacing through the house while the peacocks continued<br>
making a dreadful noise.<br><br>
At 5am I presented myself at the nearest police station in
order<br>
to get my complaint in first. Two police officers attempted
to<br>
hear me out but the air was alive with the sound of excited<br>
peacocks.<br><br>
'Are those your peacocks?', one of the policemen asked
wearily.<br><br>
'Of course not, I live miles away'.<br><br>
It was obvious I had nothing to fear from a police force who
had<br>
learned to live with their own amorous peacock problem.<br>
However after that we began herding our peacocks into an<br>
empty chicken run at night as they were at their loudest when<br>
settled in the tree.<br><br>
One morning we found the peacocks torn to pieces -
savaged<br>
by some marauding animal while they were confined - and
my<br>
hatred for Mr Burns was without limits.<br><br>
I thought about getting bantams or guinea fowl but eventually<br>
common sense prevailed as our record as bird keepers was<br>
abysmal.<br><br>
Now we feed the wild variety, while keeping our
distance.<br>
Fortunately the small mammals we lavish with affection
manage<br>
to survive.<br><br>
<b>Copyright © 2003 Sheldene Chant<br><br>
</b>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
PLEASE FORWARD Pearls & Pigs to friends, but when doing<br>
so ask them NOT to remove you from the list by accident.<br>
To be safe, before you forward, delete the easy 'remove<br>
yourself' link which now appears at the bottom of all the
mail<br>
lists Topica sends out.<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
PLEASE RATE THIS EZINE<br><br>
Please rate this Ezine at the Cumuli Ezine Finder<br>
<a href="http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/ra20461.rate" eudora="autourl">http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/ra20461.rate</a><br><br>
Editor’s note: When you click to rate us please make<br>
sure you check the number. It’s automatically set at 5,<br>
but you can go as high as 10. Make sure you change<br>
it to the number you want<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>eNonyMouse<br><br>
</b>
<i>Men seem to think women are a very confusing<br>
species. Learning the language might help.<br><br>
FINE<br>
</i>This is the word used at the end of any argument that a
woman<br>
feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use<br>
'fine' to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have<br>
one of those arguments.<br><br>
<i>FIVE MINUTES<br>
</i>This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
a<br>
football game lasts before a man gets around to taking out
the<br>
trash.<br><br>
<i>NOTHING<br>
</i>This means something and you should be on your toes. 'Nothing'<br>
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to<br>
turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.<br><br>
<i>GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)<br>
</i>This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over<br>
'Nothing' and will end with the word 'Fine.'<br><br>
<i>GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)<br>
</i>This means 'I give up' or 'do what you want because I don’t
care.'<br>
You will get a raised eyebrow 'Go Ahead' in just a few minutes,<br><br>
<i>LOUD SIGH<br>
</i>This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement
very<br>
misunderstood by men. A 'Loud Sigh' means she thinks you are<br>
an idiot and wonders why she is wasting time arguing with you<br>
over 'Nothing.'<br><br>
<i>SOFT SIGH<br>
</i>Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. 'Soft Sighs' are one
of<br>
the few things some men actually understand. She is content.<br>
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay
content.<br><br>
<i>THAT’S OKAY<br>
</i>This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can<br>
make. 'That’s Okay,' means she wants to think long and hard<br>
before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.<br><br>
<i>PLEASE DO<br>
</i>This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the<br>
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for<br>
doing whatever it is you have done. You have a fair chance to
tell<br>
the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a 'That’s Okay.'<br><br>
<i>THANKS<br>
</i>A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, 'You’re
welcome.'<br><br>
<i>THANKS A LOT<br>
</i>This is quite different to 'Thanks.' A woman will say, 'Thanks a
lot'<br>
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies you have hurt her
in<br>
some callous way, and will be followed by a loud sigh. Be careful<br>
not to ask what is wrong after the sigh as she will only tell you<br>
'Nothing.'<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
FREE TUTORIALS BY AUTORESPONDER<br><br>
If you are thinking about making your own web page, or<br>
merely want to exercise your brain slightly, then send for<br>
the web page tutorials by clicking<br>
<a href="mailto:nerdsand-@fastresponder.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:nerdsand-@fastresponder.com</a><br>
Want to find files fast ?- then<br>
<a href="mailto:fin-@fastresponder.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:fin-@fastresponder.com</a><br>
Organising your computer -
<a href="mailto:org-@fastresponder.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:org-@fastresponder.com</a><br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööOoo<br><br>
<b>FEELING A LITTLE CAMERA-SHY<br><br>
by Melvin Durai<br><br>
</b>I'VE had some pretty embarrassing moments in my life, most<br>
of which I would never disclose in public, even if Oprah begged<br>
me. Thank goodness I'm part of the older generation: Most of my<br>
embarrassments occurred before ordinary people got their<br>
hands on video cameras.<br><br>
My mother didn't follow me around with a camera, trying to<br>
record my first bath, first date, first arrest.<br><br>
These days, video cameras are everywhere. Some men can't<br>
seem to leave home without their cameras, taking them on<br>
every trip, even to the maternity ward.<br><br>
Pregnant wife: 'Honey, haven't you forgotten something?'<br><br>
Husband: 'My zoom lens? My tripod? My extra battery?'<br><br>
Wife: 'No, silly. Your pants!'<br><br>
The other day, at the airport, I saw a man videotaping his<br>
wife's arrival from a trip abroad. Did he hug her? Of course<br>
not. That might have damaged the camera. (It was a Sony, for<br>
heaven's sake!)<br><br>
I have good reason to fear this camera-happy trend. Years<br>
ago, at a friend's wedding, a camera recorded me looking<br>
around at the guests -- right in the middle of the prayer. You<br>
would think someone would have had the decency, during a<br>
prayer, to close the camera's eye.<br><br>
Try as I might, I can't seem to get away from video cameras.<br>
That's because some of my close friends have had cameras<br>
surgically implanted into their shoulders. They've filmed me<br>
so many times, I could probably join the Screen Actors Guild<br>
(SAG). (Of course, if I told my wife I had joined a group<br>
called SAG, she'd wonder which of my body parts qualified<br>
me.)<br><br>
At least a couple of my camera-toting friends seem to be<br>
invited to every party I go to. This makes me self-conscious.<br>
Whenever I'm burping, scratching or picking my nose, they're<br>
pointing their cameras at me. Someone needs to teach them<br>
manners.<br><br>
Surely Miss. Manners or Emily Post has something to say<br>
about this. These women need to make some social rules about<br>
video cameras. Here's a good start: Before filming anyone, you<br>
must observe proper etiquette and request their permission by<br>
kissing their feet. If this doesn't work, you must offer to wash
their<br>
cars or baby-sit their children.<br><br>
Such rules would have kept me out of many amateur movies. In<br>
some of these movies, I'm just sitting on a chair, eating food or<br>
chatting with a friend, trying hard not to exhibit any deviant<br>
behavior.<br><br>
I'm not sure why someone found this interesting enough to<br>
record. Perhaps I just don't have the sharp eye of a movie<br>
producer.<br><br>
A few months ago, I was at a friend's place, chatting with<br>
his mother-in-law, when out popped his video camera. No<br>
warning whatsoever, not even a quick 'Action!'<br><br>
I can only guess what this particular movie will be called:<br>
'The Visitor Who Dared to Talk to the Mother-in-law'.<br><br>
But don't get me wrong. Video cameras do have their place -<br>
and not just to catch Winona. I don't mind seeing them at<br>
special events like weddings, which occur only about twice<br>
in a lifetime. Without the videotape, how are you supposed<br>
to remember your first wedding?<br><br>
<b>© Copyright 2003 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.<br>
</b> _______________________<br>
<i>Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and<br>
humorist. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia<br>
and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. Read his<br>
previous columns at
<a href="http://www.melvindurai.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.melvindurai.com</a><br>
For a free subscription to his columns, send a blank<br>
<a href="mailto:join-funn-@relay.netatlantic.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:join-funn-@relay.netatlantic.com</a><br><br>
</i>Ööº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>FLY AWAY HOME:<br>
</b>
Welcome Our Feathered Friends<br><br>
<b>by Debbie Rodgers<br><br>
</b>IN much of North America, this is the time when songbirds are<br>
returning from their winter 'vacations' and setting up<br>
housekeeping for the summer season. What can you do to invite<br>
our feathered friends to make their homes near your outdoor<br>
living space? Provide them with the three basics: food,
water<br>
and shelter.<br><br>
When you think of homes for birds, you may automatically picture<br>
little wooden birdhouses painted bright colours or a many-holed<br>
martin house on a tall pole. But many, if not most, birds prefer to<br>
make their homes in trees and shrubbery, rather than in enclosed<br>
houses. Some larger birds such as hawks or owls prefer nesting<br>
platforms. Those who will use a man-made house are just as<br>
picky as human homebuyers – it must be 'just right' for them!<br><br>
But even if you are confined to a city balcony, you can encourage<br>
chickadees, nuthatches and other small birds to visit you, by<br>
making or purchasing them a home.<br><br>
Here are some do's and don'ts.<br><br>
* DO look for durable construction from such materials as cedar<br>
or cypress wood, or from pine or exterior grade plywood that
has<br>
been painted on the outside.<br><br>
* DON'T use oil-based paints on the outside, and never use stain,<br>
paint or any other finish on the inside of the house.<br><br>
* DON'T use a metal roof. It will absorb sunlight and heat<br>
the house to unusable temperatures. A wooden roof is best.<br><br>
* DO leave ventilation holes for air circulation and temperature<br>
control. Look for a 1" gap under the side eaves, or drill
¼"<br>
holes all around the top edge of the walls.<br><br>
* DON'T forget about drainage. Even the best-constructed<br>
houses can take in water during a storm. Either cut or drill
¼"<br>
holes in each corner and near the middle of the floor.<br><br>
* DO be sure to make the house the proper size to attract the<br>
birds that you want. (See How Big? below)<br><br>
* DON'T waste your time on fancy paint jobs – they make the<br>
house more attractive to you, but not as safe for the occupants.<br>
The best colors are tan, gray or sage green. Remember – don't<br>
paint the inside!<br><br>
* DO give the occupants a foothold by either roughing up the<br>
wood surface, or carving grooves just below the entry (inside and<br>
out).<br><br>
* DON'T put a perch outside the entry hole – it just gives<br>
predators somewhere to wait for dinner.<br><br>
* DO rub the inside of the roof with bar soap to help prevent<br>
insect infestations.<br><br>
* DON'T put more than one birdhouse in an area less than 100 ft<br>
square, unless they are intended for different species. Birds like<br>
to keep a little privacy from their neighbors too!<br><br>
* DO use a metal pole, or some other guard to keep away<br>
squirrels and other rodents.<br><br>
Our own home goes beyond the physical structure in which we<br>
live, and so does a bird's. If you can, grow a variety of plants<br>
around your porch or patio to provide nesting sites, winter
shelter,<br>
places to hide from predators, and natural year-round food<br>
supplies. To help out the numerous species that prefer to nest in<br>
trees, you can hang out mesh bags of dryer lint, yarn or loose<br>
cotton balls.<br><br>
Welcome our feathered friends to your outdoor space and they<br>
will reward you many times over with their antics and sweet<br>
songs. Perhaps they will even teach us, as Ralph Waldo<br>
Emerson penned, 'courage, and probity, and grace!'<br><br>
How big?<br><br>
To make a home for chickadees, nuthatches or downy<br>
woodpeckers:<br><br>
* floor 4"x4'"<br>
* height 8"-10"<br>
* entrance hole 2" from top<br>
* entrance hole 1¼" diameter<br>
* hang 6'-15' above the ground<br>
___________________________<br>
<i>Debbie Rodgers owns and operates Paradise Porch, and is<br>
dedicated to helping people create outdoor living spaces that<br>
nurture and enrich them. Visit her on the web at<br>
<a href="http://www.paradiseporch.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.paradiseporch.com</a>
and get a free report on 'Eight<br>
easy ways to create privacy in your outdoor space".<br>
<a href="mailto:deb-@paradiseporch.com" eudora="autourl">Mailto:deb-@paradiseporch.com</a><br><br>
</i>Ööº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
We are pleased to be members of the Ezine Publishers<br>
Association! Join at <a href="http://www.ezinepublisher.org/" eudora="autourl">http://www.ezinepublisher.org/</a><br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<br>
<b>SUET'S NOT JUST FOR WINTER<br>
</b> <i>(This appeared in the Birds and Blooms newsletter)<br><br>
</i>'MANY PEOPLE think suet is strictly a wintertime treat for birds,'<br>
writes Pam F. from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. 'But I offer it to<br>
birds in summer, too, in a different form--I make suet dough.'<br><br>
Suet dough doesn't melt in warmer temperatures because it has<br>
cornmeal and flour mixed in, Pam explains. That raises the<br>
melting point.<br><br>
'It's been very successful. I have so much fun watching the<br>
chickadees and nuthatches...I've even seen a red-bellied<br>
woodpecker take chunks of suet dough to feed to its young<br>
waiting patiently in a nearby tree.'<br><br>
Pam adds that rendered suet (suet that has been melted and<br>
then cooled) will also help prevent a melted mess in warm<br>
climates.<br><br>
Gwen N. of Lillian, Alabama says the suet dough recipe she<br>
follows is an all-time favorite of her backyard visitors. 'It's called<br>
'Summer Suet', but I use it year-round,' she says. 'It's easy to<br>
make. Just melt 1 cup lard with 1 cup crunchy peanut butter over<br>
low heat. Stir in 1/3 cup sugar and mix well with 1 cup whole<br>
wheat flour, 2 cups oatmeal and 2 cups cornmeal.<br><br>
'You can add raisins, nuts or birdseed for variety,' Gwen notes.<br>
After combining all the ingredients, Gwen pours the mixture into a<br>
pan and chills it overnight. Then she cuts it into squares for easy<br>
use and storage.<br><br>
'Put a square in your suet basket and you'll have birds galore,'<br>
she says.<br>
________________________________<br>
<i>Birds & Blooms magazine brings beautiful backyards from<br>
across America into your living room--through vivid, full-color<br>
photos. It's like a friendly 'chat' over the back fence with your bird-<br>
and flower-loving neighbors.<br><br>
To subscribe on-line, visit<br>
<a href="http://www.birdsandblooms.com/rd.asp?id=201" eudora="autourl">http://www.birdsandblooms.com/rd.asp?id=201</a><br><br>
</i>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
<b>GIFTS FROM YOUR INNER DONKEY<br>
or<br>
A PHILOSOPHER WITH VERY BIG EARS<br><br>
by Stephanie West Allen<br><br>
</b>EEYORE is Winnie the Pooh's cloudy, overcast, glum little<br>
donkey friend. He never lets Pooh's optimism sway him. He<br>
remains a funny killjoy, an amusing wet blanket. His predictable<br>
misery has earned him many fans.<br><br>
And the donkey has a gift for you. Read on.<br><br>
Ernest H. Shepard has written a wonderful and witty book called<br>
_Eeyore's Gloomy Little Instruction Book_. In the book are some<br>
classic and typical Eeyore sayings. For example:-<br><br>
'Do join in the search for a lost friend-or-relation. But don't be<br>
surprised when nobody bothers to tell you he's been found, and<br>
you search on alone for two days.'<br><br>
Poor Eeyore. Ever feel like that?<br><br>
'There are those who will wish you a good morning. If it is a good<br>
morning which is doubtful.'<br><br>
Remind you of any of your mornings?<br><br>
<i>AH, WOE IS ME<br><br>
</i>'Don't be surprised if it hails a good deal tomorrow. Blizzards and<br>
what-not. Being fine today doesn't Mean Anything. It's just a small<br>
piece of weather.'<br><br>
Starting to get in touch with your inner Eeyore?<br><br>
'If you've been invited to a party, it's probably a mistake. Make<br>
sure they don't blame you if it rains.'<br><br>
By now, you may be asking, 'Is this article I am reading supposed<br>
to be uplifting and cheery?' Yep, it sure is. Eeyore can bring you<br>
one of the best days ever.<br><br>
<i>THERE'S GOLD IN THE GLOOM<br><br>
</i>Most of us have an inner Eeyore. To indulge it can bring release<br>
and laughter and freedom. To be the absolute worst whatever-it-<br>
is-you-want-to-be lets loose in you a power that has been spent in<br>
resisting it. A power that brings many benefits. You give yourself<br>
permission to break the rules. Such a sweet honesty surfaces.<br><br>
Trying to be a constantly upbeat, optimistic person? One reliable<br>
path to your goal is to become dramatically the opposite. Ignore<br>
all the blissful affirmations and joyful self-talk -- just for a short<br>
time. You will find gold in the opposite. That may be why Eeyore<br>
has so many fans.<br><br>
<i>AND TODAY . . .<br><br>
</i>Have some Eeyore moments. Don't be mildly glum and gloomy.<br>
Give it your all. Be a theatrical, spectacular Drama Queen or<br>
King. You must be the exact and true opposite of the lighthearted<br>
and up person you want to be.<br><br>
If you have heard Eeyore's voice in a movie or video, you know<br>
how the donkey talks. Talk like Eeyore, too.<br><br>
Being the opposite, the Eeyore, is fun. It is hard not to laugh when<br>
you are Eeyore-ing. Please give it a try. You get some giggles<br>
and a sharper focus on the kind of positive person you want to<br>
be. Playing the opposite somehow gives you that focus.<br><br>
I have to leave you now to go make my coffee. Do you think<br>
my coffee beans were on sale because they were somehow<br>
defective? The store was out of unbleached filters. Will my<br>
bleached ones harm me?<br><br>
Then I'll read the paper; it will be full of awful news. At least, I will<br>
have my coffee. Wonder where I get one of those testers to make<br>
sure my coffee mug doesn't have lead in it?<br><br>
By now, I am having a great time. My inner Eeyore makes me<br>
howl with laughter.<br><br>
Go forth now, and have several Eeyore moments today. It<br>
will be a memorable, valuable -- and positive -- day. No<br>
doubt about it.<br><br>
<b>©Copyright 2002 Stephanie West Allen<br>
</b>__________________<br>
<i>Stephanie West Allen, JD, brings humor and<br>
motivation to associations and organizations.<br>
<a href="http://www.allen-nichols.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.allen-nichols.com</a><br>
Monday through Friday, start your day with a free Upsy<br>
Daisy Push-up to get you going gloriously, gratefully, and<br>
gleefully. Subscribe by sending a blank e-mail to<br>
<a href="mailto:UpsyDaisyDai-@yahoogroups.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:UpsyDaisyDai-@yahoogroups.com</a><br><br>
</i>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖoo<br><br>
FREE EZINES<br>
Find hundreds of quality, FREE Ezines at the Cumuli<br>
Ezine Finder: <a href="http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/" eudora="autourl">http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/</a><br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖoo<br><br>
<b>Copyright 2003 Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs<br><br>
</b>öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöo<br><br>
LIST MECHANICS<br><br>
TO JOIN: Please send a BLANK email to<br>
<a href="mailto:pearlypigs-@topica.com" eudora="autourl">mailto:pearlypigs-@topica.com</a><br><br>
VIEW PREVIOUS ISSUES AT -<br>
<a href="http://www.sheldenechant.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.sheldenechant.com</a> or<br>
<a href="http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs/read" eudora="autourl">http://www.topica.com/lists/pearlypigs/read</a><br><br>
If you are a Topica Member organising the lists you<br>
subscribe to becomes less complicated.<br>
Visit <a href="http://www.topica.com/" eudora="autourl">http://www.topica.com/</a> to join.<br><br>
CONTACT INFO: Sheldene Chant (Publisher), 6 Strapp<br>
Lane, Amanzimtoti 4126, KwaZuluNatal, South Africa.<br>
Fax:27-31-9031635. <a href="mailto:morg-@icon.co.za" eudora="autourl">mailto:morg-@icon.co.za</a> .<br><br>
öÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖöº*°*ºöÖööÖoo<br>
</html>
--=====================_2358885==_.ALT--
|
|
 |
|
