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Parental Intelligence - Issue 46
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Bob Collier
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Jun 15, 2003 06:22 PDT
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-------------------PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE------------------
15 June 2003
Issue 46
Bob Collier, Editor mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
This newsletter is never sent unsolicited. You are
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Welcome to Parental Intelligence!
"The world's No.1 email newsletter for thinking parents"
Do you hate doing the housework? To be honest, I quite enjoy
it, but I nearly always seem to have something else that
needs my attention! I definitely hate ironing, though.
Ironing boards aren't built for six-footers, to start with -
they're too narrow, too short and too low. But, did you know
that ironing can be serious fun? Yes, really. :) Check it
out at this week's Website Of The Week. It's a long way from
my usual WOTW, but, heck, even I can be whimsical sometimes!
Talking of clothes, I don't know how many of you remember
this, but there was a time when clothes were just that.
Clothes. Nowadays, when you stroll down your local high
street, or wander around your local shopping mall, it can
seem like you're watching one continuous, jumbled up TV
commercial - a moving billboard of logos and slogans.
My first article this week is Kate Kaye's "Sales Pitch
Society: How Advertisers Get Us to Do Their Dirty Work" and
it explores a kind of advertising that's more subtle than
designer labels and more insidious than those carriers bags
that have the store's name emblazoned across them.
"Parenting Experts". As you know, there are some that I
particularly like, who I think give, generally speaking,
solid, positive advice, but, overall, I'm not a great fan of
"Parenting Experts". I think it's simply too difficult for
even the best of them to give precisely the right answer to
every parenting question. My main message to all parents -
written in big capital letters - is still THINK FOR YOURSELF.
My second article this week is all about doing just that -
"Intellectual Self-Reliance, Independent and Critical
Thinking are the Cornerstones" by Sharon Presley of
Resources for Independent Thinking.
Watch out for a review of a new book by Valerie
Fitzenreiter. "The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School"
is her story of how she raised her daughter, Laurie, with
attachment parenting and unschooling methods and chronicles
Laurie's life from birth to summa cum laude college graduate.
What an amazing achievement!
And, as always, there's Doug Bench's Brain Stuff! If you
haven't subscribed yet to his free email course "7 Mini-
Science Lessons for Maxi-Success", I highly recommend it.
Have a great week, until next time.
Bob
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It's Father's Day today in the UK and the USA (but not here
in Australia, where it's in September).
Fathers Direct, in partnership with the National Family and
Parenting Institute, Newpin Fathers Support Centre and
Working With Men, have published a summary of over 20 years
of research into British fathers, entitled What Good Are
Dads?
It's fascinating reading. Check it out here:
http://www.fathersdirect.com/
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DOUG BENCH'S JUNE SPECIAL - CHANGE YOUR BRAIN IN 100 DAYS
The 9 Science for Success Techniques. Doug Bench goes into
the details of the nine techniques and HOW TO SET UP YOUR
100 DAY TIME-SCHEDULE FOR PERMANENT SELF-MOTIVATION SUCCESS.
Do you want to learn science-based permanent self-motivation
skills? This information can get you to your goals!
Don't Miss it!
This Month Only!
2 CD Set - Was US$27.00 Get it Now for US$19.00
http://www.mcssl.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=69141
============================================================
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
The Extreme Ironing Bureau
http://www.extremeironing.com/
"... taking ironing to the edge"
The home of extreme ironing - the latest danger sport that
combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the
satisfaction of a well pressed shirt.
Visit the Galleries to view some of the best extreme ironing
pictures in the world, including the Rowenta Trophy 2003
Winners.
Go to News Topics for competitions, "Extreme Ironing News",
Extreme Ironing IN the news, press releases and site news.
The Info/FAQ page will tell you what it's all about,
including the history of the sport and how to get started
if you want to have a go yourself.
Visit the Who's Who to meet "Steam", founder of Extreme
Ironing and the man responsible for the worldwide
development of the sport (and who secretly wants to see it
in the Olympics). Motto: An ironed shirt in the hand is
worth two in the basket.
You'll also get to say hello to "Starch", "Flex", "Basket",
"Hotwire" and the rest of the Extreme Ironing gang. Notice,
by the way, that most of them are blokes!
There are also Reviews, Downloads, Weblinks, a Members List,
Chat Rooms and Forums.
It's a whole world we never knew about - until now!
The Extreme Ironing Bureau
http://www.extremeironing.com/
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Australia will host the 3rd international Soul in Education
conference with the theme Celebrating Spirit of Learning to
be held in the Byron Bay region in September-October 2003.
"An experiential week-long international gathering for
innovative thinkers, practitioners and all those committed
to fostering soul in education, human potential and learning
for life."
For more information about this exciting event, please visit
the Spirit of Learning website at:
http://www.spiritoflearning.com/conference
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THE PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE REPORT ON 'ADHD'
Read my personal views on this controversial subject.
Send a blank email to: pire-@getresponse.com
************************************************************
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Sales Pitch Society: How Advertisers Get Us To Do Their
Dirty Work
by Kate Kaye
In recent times, we've heard a lot about the ill-effects of
advertising. It's commandeered our public spaces in the
forms of corporate naming rights, towering billboards and
sidewalk stencils. Nearly all forms of media and
entertainment, from television sitcoms to news programming
to novels have increasingly integrated advertising into
content. Even our schools have been infiltrated by
advertising. However, there's one place in which we may have
neglected to recognize the presence of advertising:
ourselves.
This isn't an alarmist sermon. It's just a heads up. You
see, as more and more marketing campaigns hinge upon our
willing participation in product promotion, it's becoming
easier and more advantageous for advertisers to rely upon us
to do their dirty work for them.
Like billboards, TV commercial breaks, phone booths and
subway cars, the words we speak, the actions we take and the
choices we make have become the latest spaces in which to
place ads. No longer will our logo-emblazoned clothing
suffice. Now advertisers want what's underneath it to
promote their wares as well.
Some human media buys willfully choose to be used in such a
way by advertisers and marketers. They offer themselves up
to the highest bidder, begging to have their personal,
everyday conversations tainted with promo pitches. Some take
part unwittingly, gaining little compensation for pushing
products and services to others. Some go undercover,
promoting brands to friends and acquaintances without
letting on that they're getting paid to do so.
Forget the Tupperware parties, forget your Amway-hawking
coworker, forget the guy who wanted to sell his kid's name
to some corporation: the new human ad phenomenon takes
word-of-mouth marketing and product endorsement to a whole
new level. Today, there are sponsored college students
groveling for the chance to spread corporate messages to
fellow frosh in exchange for tuition payments. There are
brides-to-be setting their friends and family up as
marketing targets in misguided attempts at reducing the cost
of those all-important wedding videos and floral
arrangements. There are nightclub goers initiating seemingly
innocent conversations with smokers to get them to switch
cigarette brands; all the while being paid to do so. There
are huge corporations who are no longer satisfied with
word-of-mouth promotion occurring naturally. Now, they're
triggering buzz by purposely integrating person-to-person
marketing strategies into campaigns. The outcome of these
promo prompts depends as much on us corrupting our personal
relationships with marketing messages as it does on the
expertise of the ad agency's creative team.
We have no crystal ball to show us what sorts of effects
this phenomenon will have on relationships among individuals
and on society as a whole. If we did, there's no doubt it
would run a few 30-second spots before it played the
foreboding footage. Certainly, if this marketing trend
persists, it will have an impact, and chances are it won't
be a good one. From the looks of things, we're already
becoming a sales pitch society.
It's happening in small doses, so we may fail to realize the
magnitude of the situation. In Sales Pitch Society, a free
document available for download at
http://www.salespitchsociety.com, the topic has been
introduced for further conversation. Read about it.
Contemplate it. Discuss it. Believe it. Dispute it. Eschew
it. Embrace it. No matter what, you can count on the sales
pitch society in which we're all living to impact your life.
Copyright © Kate Kaye
About the author:
Kate Kaye is a freelance writer who regularly covers the
advertising and marketing industry. Her work has been
published in AdAge, Business 2.0, Creativity, BrandEra's
BrandNews, NewMedia, Revolution Magazine and other
publications. Kate is also the author of The Lowbrow
Lowdown, a syndicated commentary column focusing on
advertising and marketing related topics. The humorous and
thought-provoking Lowbrow Lowdown can be found online at
http://www.lowbrowlowdown.com.
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This newsletter has been created using ideas and techniques
I learned from The Home Publishing Revolution, the world's
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------------------------------------------------------------
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The best way to understand SystemX is to experience it by
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For further exciting details, please go to:
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BOOK REVIEW
The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School
By Valerie Fitzenreiter
ISBN: 0-9729416-0-6
Price: $14.95
Release date: July 1, 2003
Valerie Fitzenreiter's book "The Unprocessed Child" is her
story of how she raised her daughter, Laurie, with attachment
parenting and unschooling methods.
"We raised our child, Laurie, in as much freedom as we could
give her. We introduced no schoolwork into her life unless
she requested it. We gave her no rewards or punishments for
performance or behavior. She was not required to submit to
authority simply because she was younger. We respected her
opinions, decisions, needs and desires from the moment she
made them known to us with an expression on her face or with
body language. When she began articulating, she was taken
seriously and not ignored or silenced. She pursued her own
interests, whether it was a driving passion to learn about
Catherine the Great or to "play" on the computer for eight
years without developing an interest in anything else. We
did not try to motivate her to do anything that society
expects a child to do, nor were we anxious about her lack of
interest in school-related topics. We were there to provide
her with a safe and loving home and to help her in the
pursuit of knowledge, as long as she initiated it."
"The Unprocessed Child" chronicles Laurie's life from birth
to summa cum laude college graduate. It covers the ever-
asked questions about socializing, intelligence, motivation
and discipline. Laurie's life proves that a parent and a
child can be best of friends and have sincere respect for
one another. First and foremost, the book proves that
compulsory education and authoritative parenting are
unnecessary when a parent learns to trust a child to follow
his own heart, mind and interests and acquire what he needs
when he needs it.
Find out more about The Unprocessed Child and read a free
online sample chapter at:
http://www.ubpub.com/index.html
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Intellectual Self-Reliance, Independent and Critical
Thinking are the Cornerstones
by Sharon Presley
In seeking self-reliance in education, it's not enough to
advocate freedom from religious interference in the public
educational system. Nor are alternatives such as private
schools and home schooling the whole solution either. More
than just political or institutional change is needed;
psychological and cognitive conditions must also be met.
Self-reliance in thinking is as important as self-reliance
in educational systems. Finding ways to encourage children
to think for themselves and to be critical thinkers are
crucial elements for a free and free-thinking society. If
children grow up to be adults who are unable to think
independently and critically, then they will be vulnerable
to political, religious, and psychological despots,
regardless of what kind of schools they attended!
Incorporating the principles of independent and critical
thinking into the educational curriculum of our schools -
public, private or home - should be a primary goal of those
who educate.
What is Independent Thinking?
The Oxford Unabridged Dictionary offers many definitions of
"independent," including "not depending on the authority of
others" and "not dependent on others for forming an
opinion." Making up your own mind, in other words. But what
does that really mean? Does it mean forming an opinion
without input from others? No, of course not, otherwise we
"reinvent the wheel" every time we make a decision. We all
need relevant information and data on which to base our
opinions. It's the way that we seek information and how we
apply it that makes us dependent or independent thinkers.
If we uncritically accept whatever values or ideas we've
been taught by parents, teachers or church, never
questioning these ideas or asking ourselves if these ideas
really make sense, then we are dependent thinkers (even if
the ideas are true!).
If we reject what our parents, teachers or church have
taught us simply because they say something is right, does
that make us independent thinkers? No, that's just what
psychologists call "anti-conformity" rather than non-
conformity. Making up your own mind is an action, not a
reaction. Independent thinking means making sense of the
world based on your own observations and experiences rather
than just depending on the word of others. It means trusting
your own ability to make judgments, even if they contradict
what others say. It means acting in accordance with these
judgments, even if you sometimes make mistakes. Independent
thinkers know it's psychologically better to make your own
mistakes than someone else's. Independent thinking is not
necessarily rational or critical. Sometimes you make
mistakes; sometimes it's difficult to know whether your
beliefs are your own or simply uncritically borrowed. No
one ever said independent thinking is easy. Critical
thinking is a tool that can help you decide whether your
old beliefs are sensible. It can help you examine new ideas
or help you solve problems in reasonable ways.
What is Critical Thinking?
There are many reasonable definitions of "critical
thinking," but I like the one offered by psychologists
Carole Wade and Carol Tavris because it emphasizes the
positive side to critical thinking. Too often people think
that being critical means just tearing some argument down:
"Critical thinking," they write, "is the ability and
willingness to assess claims and make objective judgments on
the basis of well-supported reasons. It is the ability to
look for flaws in arguments and resist claims that have no
supporting evidence. Critical thinking, however, is not
merely negative thinking. It also fosters the ability to be
creative and constructive - to generate possible
explanations for findings, think of implications, and apply
new knowledge to a broad range of social and personal
problems. You can't really separate critical thinking from
creative thinking, for it's only when you question what is
that you can begin to imagine what can be."
Nor is being an independent thinker and a critical thinker
merely being "open-minded." As Wade and Tavris point out,
"Sometimes people justify mental laziness by proudly telling
you that they are "open-minded." "It's good to be open-
minded," replies philosopher Jacob Needleman, "but not so
open that your brains fall out." Wade writes that sometimes
her students think that being open-minded means that every
opinion is just as good as every other opinion. "What comes
across to students," she says, "is that they shouldn't
defend their own beliefs too passionately or criticize
someone else's beliefs too strongly." When they complain
"It's just my opinion," she replies "Well, is it a good
opinion or a bad opinion? Is it well-supported by evidence
or reasons? The goal is to teach students how to take a
position and defend it strongly and with passion, and yet
fairmindedly."
Commitment and Fair-mindedness
A theory that complements Wade's idea of fair-mindedness, as
well as the notion of critical thinking, is one offered by
developmental psychologist William Perry. He suggests that,
as we mature to adulthood, we go through different stages in
our thinking about beliefs. As young teens, many of us see
the world from an authoritarian perspective. There's only
one right answer and it's the teacher or authority figure's
job to give us "the" answer. [Sadly, many adults never get
out of this stage!]
Then, as we mature, we begin to see things in a more
relative perspective, recognizing that different people have
different points of view. At this point, we can take several
paths - we can slip into complete relativism, believing like
those students of Wade's, that any opinion is as good as any
other; or we can slip into nihilism, giving up any belief;
or, if we keep growing, we move forward to the final stage.
Here, we recognize the need to make a commitment to personal
beliefs that we have arrived at by careful thinking and a
need to take responsibility for these beliefs. But at this
stage, we also accept and respect the idea that others may
hold contradictory values to which they are equally
committed. In other words, we see the need to defend our
values and to be fair-minded.
Self-reliance of any kind, political, social or personal, is
not an easy goal to reach. "To be nobody but yourself in a
world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you
like everybody else," writes e.e. Cummings, "means to fight
the hardest battle any human being can fight, and never stop
fighting." It's a battle well worth fighting - for ourselves
and for future generations.
Sharon Presley, Ph.D. is a social psychologist who writes
and speaks frequently on topics relevant to critical and
independent thinking. She is executive director of Resources
for Independent Thinking. For more information about RIT,
write RIT, 484 Lake Park Ave, No. 24, Oakland CA 94610,
phone 925-228-0565, or visit the RIT website at:
http://www.rit.org/
This article has been adapted from an essay that appeared in
Volume 1, Number 1 of Independent Thinking Review. All
rights reserved by Resources for Independent Thinking.
Copyright © Sharon Presley
Resources for Independent Thinking
Resources for Independent Thinking is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit
educational organization with a commitment to encouraging
and promoting fair-minded independent and critical thinking.
It offers information and resources that help people think
for themselves and increase their critical thinking skills.
This includes workshops, seminars, reprints, and a mail-
order book service for adults and children, as well as a
quarterly publication, Independent Thinking Review. ITR
includes articles, book reviews and listings of
organizations, publications and other resources available
that are relevant to critical or independent thinking in
general or to specific themes where critical thinking is
called for. Because critical thinking resources for
children and parents in the sense defined in this article
are not easily found, RIT has a special mission to seek out
the resources that do exist and make them more readily
available. RIT also plans to develop its own critical
thinking educational material for children and parents.
You are invited to join in this endeavor. If you know of
resources-books, organizations, publications, videos, TV
and radio programs, or other efforts-that could help
increase critical thinking skills, let RIT know about them;
they are always looking for new and useful information to
pass on to people.
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"If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish
any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded
as a parent and you will have given your children the
greatest of blessings." - Brian Tracy
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DOUG BENCH'S BRAIN STUFF
The nonconscious brain has 5/6th of ALL your brain's power
because it works 24/7, but it works only on things
previously designated and stipulated by prior activity in
the conscious brain. WHATEVER THE CONSCIOUS MIND DWELLS ON,
THE NONCONSCIOUS BRAIN ACTS ON! Your noncon goes to work
designing solutions and pathways forward, based on specific
directed objectives from your conscious brain. It's genius
works constantly and automatically! So much so that we take
it for granted and do not fully exercise its enormous powers.
Think of it: SECRET-SECRET-SECRET! You can focus your
attention on any subject you wish--select any topic, any
subject--and by pondering and thinking upon it, you can call
forth light and insight and answers on that precise issue!
Learn the SCIENCE of PERMANENT Self-Motivation. So you
don't have to go back again and again and again, and spend
more and more and more money for a short term fix!
Scientific facts do not lie and do not fail, and neither
will you! Guaranteed!
*** 7 Mini-Science Lessons for Maxi-Success ***
This Course is FREE, and a great starting point for you to
run toward the Science of Permanent Self-Motivation.
Subscribe to the 7 Mini-Science Lessons for Maxi-Success
course and to Doug Bench's free Neuroscience Self-Motivation
News at his Science for Success website:
http://www.mcssl.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=69141
AUDIO has been added to Science for Success website!
Doug Bench has added Audio examples of nearly all of his
Systems and Tools to his website.
Go check it out now! Everywhere that you see the
Green 'Play' Button, you can hear a helpful sample of that
Tool.
http://www.mcssl.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=69141
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PROJECTS OF INTEREST
The Parenting Project
http://www.parentingproject.org/
The Natural Child Project
http://www.naturalchild.org/
Project HappyChild
http://www.happychild.org.uk/
Project Renaissance
http://www.winwenger.com/
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I hope you've enjoyed this issue of Parental Intelligence!
Issue 47 will be published on 22 June 2003
PLEASE MENTION PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
WHO HAVE CHILDREN - THEY'LL THANK YOU FOR IT!
Do you have any comments or suggestions? Would you
like to contribute an article?
mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
Please include the words "Parental Intelligence" in the
subject line.
This newsletter is never sent unsolicited. You are
receiving it because you requested a subscription, or it
has been forwarded to you by a friend.
If you're not a subscriber and you'd like to subscribe,
please either visit
http://www.topica.com/lists/pintel
or send a blank email to:
pintel-s-@topica.com
If you want to unsubscribe for any reason, please see the
unsubscribe instructions at the end of this newsletter.
Copyright (c) 2003, Bob Collier except where indicated
otherwise.
Published by:
Bob Collier
3 Goldie Place
Kambah
CANBERRA
ACT 2902
Australia
mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
Have a happy and successful day!
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"Who is this bloke?" Find out more about the publisher of
Parental Intelligence by sending a blank email to:
bobco-@getresponse.com
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