|
Parental Intelligence - Issue 52
|
Bob Collier
|
Jul 26, 2003 23:30 PDT
|
-------------------PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE------------------
27 July 2003
Issue 52
Bob Collier, Editor mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
This newsletter is never sent unsolicited. You are
receiving it because you requested a subscription, or it
has been forwarded to you by a friend.
If you're not a subscriber and you'd like to subscribe,
please either visit
http://www.topica.com/lists/pintel
or send a blank email to:
pintel-s-@topica.com
If you want to unsubscribe for any reason, please see the
unsubscribe instructions at the end of this newsletter.
Welcome to Parental Intelligence!
"The world's No.1 email newsletter for thinking parents"
This week, Parental Intelligence celebrates its first
birthday with a Bumper Issue!
My heartfelt thanks to all of you for reading my newsletter
through its first year - and what an interesting year it's
been! In fact, my personal life has changed in several major
ways since that fateful day of 4 August 2002 when I
delivered the inaugural issue of Parental Intelligence to my
only subscriber - my darling wife Mary. :D
At the end of 2002, the first major change in my life
occurred when both of my children left school at the same
time. My daughter Bronwyn graduated from high school and is
now studying Arts and Law at the University of Canberra. My
son Patrick dropped out at the end of Year 1 to be home
educated. What a fantastic adventure for both of us! A
'whole new world' experience such as I haven't known since
those now seemingly distant happy days when I first became
my baby daughter's stay-at-home dad. Now, as then, I'm
taking it one day at a time, doing my best (hopefully) and
finding out what works and what doesn't!
During most of this year, I've been exploring the
extraordinary story behind the "manufactured epidemic" of
so-called 'ADHD'. Until recently, that was strictly 'off the
record', but, I ultimately realized that the primitive
thinking and irrational behaviour behind this nonsense is
such a danger to parents and their children worldwide,
'parental intelligence' was definitely the order of the day
- so where better to promote the need for our enlightenment
on this subject than through the pages of this newsletter.
You can read my latest thoughts on 'ADHD' and the cult of
biopsychiatry in this week's episode of The Candlelight
Project!
I've met so many bright and positive people (in cyberspace,
at least) since I started publishing Parental Intelligence
that I can't begin to tell you how exciting that's been! My
Website Of The Week this week is a cracker - Sarah Fitz-
Claridge's "Taking Children Seriously". The name alone makes
it worth a visit. It's been a total joy for me to discover
over the past twelve months just how many people out there
have views on children and parenting that are so similar to
my own - and that I'm nowhere near as eccentric as I thought
I was! Bless you all!
No articles in this week's issue. Instead, you'll find a
directory of great parenting websites - all of them former
Websites Of The Week - and a selection of book reviews.
Then, bringing up the rear like Yogi Bear, Florida's very
own Doug Bench with more Science for Success. This week, how
our 'Reticular Activating System' works as told through the
adventures of a character he calls Mario (NOT the fat
Italian plumber, I think!).
Would you like to help my newsletter grow? Simply recommend
it to all your friends who have children. They'll thank you
for it!
My goal is 1,000 subscribers by 31st December 2003. This
week's 1st Anniversary Issue is going out to 149 smart
people. I salute you all for sharing my desire to excel!
Thank you for reading!
Have a great week, until next time.
Bob
------------------------------------------------------------
"Don't ask for an easier life; ask to be a stronger person."
- Kristen Goeser
------------------------------------------------------------
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
Taking Children Seriously
http://www.takingchildrenseriously.com/
Taking Children Seriously is the creation of Sarah Fitz-
Claridge, an extraordinary woman variously described as
"controversial", "iconoclastic" and "in-your-face" but also
as "warm and sympathetic, and not judgemental",
"inimitable", "witty", "interesting", "charming", and "one
of the most provocative and entertaining speakers on the
libertarian circuit".
A cornucopia of uncommon ideas that will frighten some
parents and excite others - or maybe frighten and excite
some parents at the same time! I really can provide you with
no better explanation of what Treating Children Seriously is
all about than to ask Sarah Fitz-Claridge to tell you in her
own words:
"I am the founder of the world-wide TCS movement and editor
of the paper journal, Taking Children Seriously. I founded
TCS because I think that the future of the world depends
upon changing the way we raise our children. TCS is about
bringing reason into the sphere of child-rearing and
education, so that children can grow up free from the
unpleasant and harmful restrictions that parents and
teachers have traditionally inflicted upon them. TCS is
about helping children to do what they want to do, to be who
they want to be, to pursue their own ends in life instead of
being treated as a means to their parents' ends. TCS is an
educational philosophy, a new style of family life, and a
new view of children. But it is more than that. TCS is not
just good for children, but for adults too. Traditional
ideas about child-rearing demand self-sacrifice from
parents. Pre-TCS child-rearing and education is extremely
stressful for adults. TCS eschews self-sacrifice and
provides a positive alternative to the distressing,
conflict-ridden way of life we see all around us in pre-TCS
families. Many parents are initially drawn to TCS because
they believe that the way people treat children is wrong,
but after a while realise that their TCS ideas are changing
their own lives for the better too: TCS is about everyone
taking everyone seriously, including you taking yourself
seriously; it is not just about parents taking children
seriously. If you are reading this, you are a person, and
your wishes, opinions, and preferences matter too. Many
parents, particularly mothers, forget that. If you want to
take your children seriously, you have to be able to take
yourself seriously.
In most families, when people talk about solving problems,
they really mean merely stabilising them. TCS can help
people learn to solve problems so that everyone involved
genuinely, wholeheartedly, prefers the solutions. That
includes the children! It also includes the parents! In TCS
relationships, no one is imposing his or her will on anyone
else. Every individual is getting what he or she wants. The
consent-based TCS approach to resolving disagreements has a
profound effect upon relationships within the family,
producing a virtuous circle in which the more problems are
actually solved, the more each family member wants to solve
problems, and the more problems the family actually can
solve.
TCS can change adult relationships too: some couples find
that TCS helps them create deeper, more fulfilling
relationships together. Clinging to destructive
relationships is a vice, not a virtue. One should either
change them for the better or disengage. TCS can help some
people find the courage to face the truth about their
relationships - for example, to consider (amicable) divorce
if there is no hope of positive change. TCS can be good for
childless single people too, not just parents or couples. It
provides a whole new world-view which can affect positively
even how one thinks in the privacy of one's own mind.
In case I have given the wrong impression in this quick
summary, let me stress that TCS is not a panacea. If it were
easy to create fulfilling relationships, solve problems, and
to grow and improve as a person, there would be no need for
TCS in the first place. But all these things are difficult.
They can't be achieved by fiat, by a mere act of will.
Living a TCS life requires great creativity, and there is
no recipe for creativity. It takes effort, and we are
fallible human beings who make mistakes. We can't become
perfect TCS parents and partners overnight; we can't
achieve perfection ever! Perfection is impossible in any
human undertaking. All we can do is to start from where we
are, and grow and improve from here. Sometimes, we shall
make great strides in a blinding flash of insight; other
times improvement will be frustratingly slow. The thing to
do is not to devote precious creativity to beating ourselves
up about our failures, but to try to view each mistake as an
opportunity for growth and to learn from it."
Learn more here:
Taking Children Seriously
http://www.takingchildrenseriously.com/
************************************************************
Australia will host the 3rd international Soul in Education
conference with the theme Celebrating Spirit of Learning to
be held in the Byron Bay region in September-October 2003.
"An experiential week-long international gathering for
innovative thinkers, practitioners and all those committed
to fostering soul in education, human potential and learning
for life."
For more information about this exciting event, please visit
the Spirit of Learning website at:
http://www.spiritoflearning.com/conference
************************************************************
A FREE GIFT FOR PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE READERS
For a limited time Parental Intelligence would like to give
you a free introductory copy of byronchild, a new Australian
magazine created especially for progressive families which,
like Parental Intelligence, supports the propagation of
intelligent information for parents. Simply email
ka-@byronpublications.com with your name and address and a
free magazine will be sent to you. See more about byronchild
at http://byronchild.com
************************************************************
------------------------------------------------------------
THE CANDLELIGHT PROJECT
If you're not up to speed with The Candlelight Project, you
can find out more about it by reading Issues 49 to 51 of
Parental Intelligence. Please go to:
http://www.topica.com/lists/pintel/read
and/or grab yourself a copy of The Parental Intelligence
Report on 'ADHD' by sending a blank email to:
pire-@getresponse.com
"Failure to recognize the essential unity of the body-mind
leads to inadequate understanding of human behavior."
- Will Schutz, PhD., "Profound Simplicity" (Bantam Books,
1979), p.18
The American Psychiatric Association publishes the 'bible'
of psychiatry, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders (DSM). Last week, I talked about how
everything I've learned about human nature and behaviour
over the past 25 years and have validated successfully in my
18 years as a parent seems to be almost totally contrary to
the fundamental beliefs of this very interesting
organization.
Since then, I've been reading something of the fascinating
history of psychiatry at the website of the Citizens
Commission on Human Rights (CCHR).
Here are just a few clues to the mentality of the American
Psychiatric Association that particularly caught my eye:
"In 1797, the "father" of American psychiatry, Dr. Benjamin
Rush - whose face today still adorns the seal of the
American Psychiatric Association - declared that the color
of blacks was caused by a rare, congenital disease called
"Negritude" which derived from leprosy. In an address to the
American Philosophical Society, Rush said that the only
evidence of a "cure" was when the skin color turned white.
Using "disease" as the reason for segregation, Rush drew the
conclusion that "Whites should not tyrannize over [blacks],
for their disease should entitle them to a double portion of
humanity. However, by the same token, whites should not
intermarry with them, for this would tend to infect
posterity with the 'disorder'... attempts must be made to
cure the disease.""
Creepy, or what?
"In 1865 ... Zurich psychiatrist Wilhelm Griesinger claimed
that since most of the nerve coverage was in the brain, all
mental problems must be diseases of the brain. Additionally,
psychiatrists believed the "patient" must be sick because he
behaved abnormally. By declaring his conduct to be symptoms,
they concluded this, too, must be an illness. Undeterred by
the absence of proof, psychiatry has since industriously
built an empire that's no more than a house of cards.
Unverified by the "scientific method" even today, these
suppositions form the underpinning of most psychiatric
theorizing and practice."
It's no wonder, now I think of it, that I've noticed a
very backward looking attitude generally amongst the
supporters of biopsychiatry that I've encountered on my
travels! They often seem to refer back to scientific
experiments conducted decades ago in search of 'evidence'
to support their beliefs (there's one such mention in the
Parental Intelligence Report on 'ADHD', in fact, of
experiments with psychostimulant drugs carried out in 1937).
If you're a regular reader of Doug Bench's Brain Stuff,
you'll be aware, as I am, that "98 percent of everything
that medical scientists have learned about how the human
brain works and functions has been learned in just the last
six years! 98 percent of everything! 80 percent of
everything that was totally believed to be true before 1990
has now been found to be false!" (Revolutionary Neuroscience
Discoveries for Success, Part 1)
At least this is a little bit more up to date:
"In 1987, "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder" (ADHD)
was literally voted into existence by the American
Psychiatric Association (APA) and enshrined in DSM-III-R.
Within one year, 500,000 children in the U.S. alone were
diagnosed with this affliction created by a vote - a show of
hands."
Psychiatry - Betraying & Drugging Children For Profit
http://cchr.org/children/eng/page00.htm
There's stacks more of this, and a lot of it will have you
wondering, as I am, what the heck is going on here? Go and
take a look and be enlightened. Especially read "Documenting
Psychiatry - A Human Rights Abuse and Global Failure" - it's
an education in itself. You'll find a link to the CCHR
website listed at the end of this Candlelight Project
section.
'ADHD', of course, is where I came in, so to speak. So,
rather than stray too far into the wacky world of psychiatry
generally, I'll get back to that.
Firstly, as promised, my thoughts on the similarities
between psychiatry and paleontology, followed by a quick
trip to Scotland. :)
Here are a couple of extracts from an article that appeared
in 'Discover' magazine (September, 2000) about the creation
of a dinosaur exhibition at the American Museum of Natural
History in New York City. I've selected these particular
excerpts to make my point, but, you're welcome to read the
whole article yourself if you want to.
It can be found right here:
What did Dinosaurs really look like ... and will we ever
know?
by William Speed Weed
http://www.discover.com/sept_00/featdino.html
"Does anyone know what dinosaurs really looked like? Sure we
do. We see them everywhere, not just in the museums, but in
magazines, movies, even in value meals at McDonald's. But
all of these lifelike renderings are mostly artistic
interpretations based on very sparse scientific evidence. To
begin with, dinosaur skeletons are rarely found intact, and
figuring out how scattered bones fit together is not always
clear. Then, making the leap of placing tissue and skin on
those bones is a process fraught with unknowns. Some
paleontologists trained in comparative anatomy are beginning
to analyze microscopic marks that soft tissues make on bones
in search of clues to what dinosaurs actually looked like.
But taking a pile of bones and conjuring up what snarling
dinosaurs about to battle each other really looked like
involves at best equal parts educated guesswork and complete
artistic fancy."
"The bones are evidence that's interpretable. The muscles
are guided guesswork. Everything else - soft tissues, skin,
folds, frills, cheeks, lips, eyes, nostrils, pattern, color,
covering - is artistic license, or, in the case of Norell's
feathers [referring to a recent idea that has since been
dismissed as a hoax], scientific license. How far off could
the dinosaur renderings be?
The most conservative answer, which many scientists give, is
that we just don't know. Paleontology is the study of
fossils; fossils are limited in the information they
provide, so we will always run the risk of drawing a titanic
hamster instead of an elephant, and we'll never know if
we're doing it."
Think about what you've just read the next time you're
looking at the pictures of Stegosauruses and Velociraptors
and the rest of those prehistoric animals in your children's
dinosaur books. How many of you assumed that they were
science-based representations of what those creatures REALLY
looked like?
I did. Once.
Now, compare the above with the following:
"Superstition and suspicion are the principal foundations of
20th century medical science. Error is built upon error and
unproven theories are used as building blocks for new ideas.
Assumptions, prejudices and hearsay compete with subjective
observations and personal interpretations of symptoms and
signs for the doctor's attention and allegiance. To be truly
scientific, doctors would have to subordinate their personal
opinions to impartial knowledge gained by analysis and
experimentation; but if they did this doctors would lose the
mystique and authority which has traditionally been a part
of the medicine man's armoury. By becoming scientists,
doctors would become technicians and lose their god-like
powers."
- Dr. Vernon Coleman, "Modern Medicine is not a Science"
http://www.laleva.cc/choice/modern_medicine.html
It makes you wonder, doesn't it? If it doesn't make you
wonder - WAKE UP!!
Finally this week, a flying visit to Loch Ness, in Scotland.
Loch Ness is a stretch of water about 24 miles (39km) long,
1 mile (1.6km) wide, and 755 feet (229m) deep. Legend has it
that the loch is inhabited by a 'monster', which some
experts suggest is possibly a descendant of a plesiosaur
(that's, of course, if a plesiosaur actually looked like
what they think it looked like!).
Apparently, since 1871, there have been 172 documented
experiences in and around Loch Ness of 'something' that may
or may not be a monster, including 28 occasions on which the
'something' has been filmed or photographed. But, nobody, as
yet, has produced convincing evidence that there is indeed a
plesiosaur-like beastie in those waters.
Thousands of visitors every year come to the loch hoping to
catch a glimpse of "Nessie" as it's popularly known. The
search for proof of its existence has become something of a
quest for some people. There is even a team from the Academy
of Applied Science in Massachusetts maintaining an all-year
watch with sonar-triggered cameras and strobe lights
suspended from a raft.
Some years ago, when I was watching a TV documentary about
the Loch Ness Monster, a "Nessie Hunter", as they're called,
when asked why he persisted in his search for a 'prehistoric
monster' in the waters of Loch Ness despite the continued
failure of the 'best in the business' to produce verifiable
evidence of its existence, replied, "We'll keep looking for
it until somebody proves it doesn't exist."
Ever since I heard that comment, I've used the term "a Loch
Ness Monster argument" to describe any proposal that is
being maintained only by a stubborn insistence that, despite
a lack of evidence to support it, it should still be
regarded as valid unless it can be definitely disproved.
It's my opinion that a 'Loch Ness Monster argument' is
essentially all that is sustaining the proponents of 'ADHD',
if not the entire cult of biopsychiatry.
For, given its continued miserable failure to prove that
so-called 'ADHD', and all its other artificial 'mental
illnesses', are real diseases as it claims them to be,
biopsychiatry has, it seems to me, now fallen back on a
last resort expectation that its detractors must prove
that they are NOT.
The difficulty, of course, is that it's logically IMPOSSIBLE
to prove that something *definitely* DOESN'T exist! Think of
all the otherwise intelligent and rational people you know
who believe in Santa Claus, for example - even when they say
they don't, you'll still see them at your local shopping
mall every Christmas happily participating in this annual
delusion! Just like, in fact, all those parents I've
discovered who've "kind of" accepted that their children
"are ADHD", but, "heck, it's only a label. It doesn't have
to mean anything if you don't want it to does it?". They
seem to be just as happy participants in the grand 'mental
illness' delusion. Perhaps that just me.
In the meantime, the proponents of these alleged
'neurological diseases' seem determined to carry on
regardless, employing so-called 'scientific research' I
personally consider to be inconclusive at best (when I'm in
a charitable mood, that is!) as if it constitutes, for all
the world, 'proof beyond reasonable doubt'.
How bizarre. But, then, there appears to be a very strong
ulterior motive that keeps these people on the treadmill.
It's called money.
Next week, I'll be casting a little candlelight on the
prolific use of 'psychostimulant' drugs that drives the
"manufactured epidemic" of 'ADHD', the nature of Ritalin
(the drug most commonly prescribed for its 'treatment') -
including something very interesting I've learned about it
since I published my Report - and I'll make a brief and, I
believe, relevant comment on the unusual story of a bloke
called Terry Wallis.
In the meantime, for more information on the truth about
'ADHD', please visit:
ADHD Fraud
http://www.adhdfraud.org/
Death From Ritalin
http://www.ritalindeath.com/
A.S.P.I.R.E.
http://www.aspire.us/
Wildest Colts Make the Best Horses
(Download a free copy of "A Colt of a Booklet" while you're
there!)
http://www.wildestcolts.com/
Citizens Commission on Human Rights
http://www.cchr.org/
See you next week on the Candlelight Trail!
------------------------------------------------------------
LIVING FREE
HOW TO BEAT THE SYSTEM - AND GROW RICH
by Phil Gosling - "Britain's most successful author
no-one's ever heard of".
Read Part One AND Part Two of this totally revised and
updated Millennium Edition of one of the best-selling
educational courses of the early 1990s ABSOLUTELY FREE.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
Please visit:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=74710
------------------------------------------------------------
A DIRECTORY OF HIGHLY RECOMMENDED PARENTING WEBSITES!
Active Birth Centre
Discover how you can make informed choices, and gain the
confidence to be actively in charge of your pregnancy, birth
and early parenting. Online home of Janet Balaskas, founder
of the Active Birth Movement.
http://www.activebirthcentre.com/
Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children (aTLC)
A nonprofit organization that aims to "champion a culture of
compassionate individuals, families, and communities who
have fun with, learn from, and responsively and lovingly
interact with children." It accomplishes this by providing
guidance about consciously conceiving, birthing, and
nurturing children. Great minds collected together in one
place for a common cause!
http://www.atlc.org/
Aware Parenting Institute
My very first Website Of The Week! Aware Parenting is based
on the work of Aletha Solter, Ph.D., a Swiss-American
developmental psychologist, international speaker,
consultant, and author of three books (The Aware Baby,
Helping Young Children Flourish and Tears and Tantrums).
http://www.awareparenting.com/
Byronchild
"The magazine for progressive families"
Created to support and give voice to the embryonic but
powerfully essential movement towards conscious parenting
and conscious living happening all around the world.
http://www.byronchild.com/
Empathic Parenting
A website and the monthly journal of the Canadian Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (CSPCC). Since
1978 the Empathic Parenting Journal has published articles
dealing with the serious long-term consequences of the
inadequate nurturing of children under the age of three.
http://www.bconnex.net/~cspcc/empathic_parenting/
Inspired Parenting
The website of Dr. Caron Goode, author of Nurture Your
Child's Gift. Learn about Whole-Child Parenting - a
revolutionary approach to helping children achieve personal
success.
http://www.inspiredparenting.net/
International Network for Children and Families (INCAF)
Formed over twenty years ago by Kathryn Kvols, author of
Redirecting Children's Behavior, INCAF is now a worldwide
parent training network that teaches skill-building
strategies to families.
http://www.incaf.com/
Natural Parenting
"The UK's most comprehensive alternative parenting site"
Started in 2000 by mother of five Alex Julian-Stewart with
the support of her husband Joel, and with the aim of
providing support and information to parents who believe in
trusting their instincts over the all-too-often misguided
traditional parenting advice.
http://www.natural-parenting.com/
Philosophical Mother
A website for intelligent, thoughtful, creative, feminist,
and open-minded mothers. Check out The Philosophical Mother
Monthly Webzine - great articles!
http://www.philosophicalmother.com/
Touch The Future
A Non-Profit Learning Design Center founded by documentary
film-maker Michael Mendizza, guided and inspired by Joseph
Chilton Pearce, known internationally for his best selling
books, The Magical Child, Crack In The Cosmic Egg,
Evolution's End and others. The goal of Touch the Future is
to bring about a deep change in the way adults view and
relate to the developmental needs of children.
http://www.ttfuture.org/
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
BOOK REVIEWS
A Helping Hand: How to Build Self Esteem in Others
by Mark Tyrrell and Roger Elliott
Learn Advanced Communication Skills and Help People Believe
in Themselves (without them noticing you're doing it!)
Whether you are a parent, therapist, counselor, teacher,
manager or work with people in some other way, the ability
to increase peoples' self belief is highly rewarding.
By learning subtle communication secrets you can avoid the
usual mistakes that simply make others argue harder for
their weaknesses. Knowing how to sidestep resistance will
allow you to escape the frustration of watching negativity
ruin peoples' lives.
With the 23 techniques, plus a bonus chapter with 7 tips on
raising self esteem in children, your ability to help others
will be multiplied several times.
In the process, you will learn many new ways to convey your
own ideas so they are much more likely to be accepted,
whatever the situation.
Find out more about this e-book and about online and email
courses, including Self Confidence and Self Hypnosis at:
http://www.uncommonknowledge.co.uk/
The Positive Power of Negative Thinking
by Julie K. Norem, PhD.
"The psychologist who wrote this interesting new book
provides significant understanding and help for those of us
who just are not the naturally upbeat type of Amercan
optimists. Finally a book that truly respects and values the
wide range of individual differences that exist for optimism
and pessimism. The concept and quiz for the personality
style "Defensive Pessimism" support a positive
interpretation of the adaptive value of being a person who
thinks through worst-case scenarios and uses anxiety to
motivate and carry out effective actions. I like the
balanced approach in this book that helps the reader
understand both the dangers of unrealistic optimism and the
virtues of constructive pessimism. This is a welcome relief
from the one-sided optimistic bias of the positive
psychology movement; here we can find realistic psychology
for real people."
For more information about this book, please visit:
http://www.defensivepessimism.com/
Punished by Rewards
The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans,
A's, Praise, and Other Bribes
by Alfie Kohn
Our basic strategy for raising children, teaching students,
and managing workers can be summarized in six words: Do this
and you'll get that. We dangle goodies (from candy bars to
sales commissions) in front of people in much the same way
that we train the family pet
In this groundbreaking book, Alfie Kohn shows that while
manipulating people with incentives seems to work in the
short run, it is a strategy that ultimately fails and even
does lasting harm. Our workplaces and classrooms will
continue to decline, he argues, until we begin to question
our reliance on a theory of motivation derived from
laboratory animals.
Drawing from hundreds of studies, Kohn demonstrates that
people actually do inferior work when they are enticed with
money, grades, or other incentives. Programs that use
rewards to change people's behavior are similarly
ineffective over the long run. Promising goodies to children
for good behavior can never produce anything more than
temporary obedience. In fact, the more we use artificial
inducements to motivate people, the more they lose interest
in what we're bribing them to do. Rewards turn play into
work, and work into drudgery.
Step by step, Kohn marshals research and logic to prove that
pay-for-performance plans cannot work; the more an
organization relies on incentives, the worse things get.
Parents and teachers who care about helping students to
learn, meanwhile, should be doing everything possible to
help them forget that grades exist. Even praise can become a
verbal bribe that gets kids hooked on our approval.
Rewards and punishments are just two sides of the same coin
- and the coin doesn't buy very much. What is needed, Kohn
explains, is an alternative to both ways of controlling
people. The final chapters offer a practical set of
strategies for parents, teachers, and managers that move
beyond the use of carrots or sticks. Seasoned with humor and
familiar examples, Punished by Rewards presents an argument
that is unsettling to hear but impossible to dismiss.
For more information about this book, please visit:
http://www.alfiekohn.org/
True Nature and Great Misunderstandings
by John Breeding
John Breeding, author of The Wildest Colts Make The Best
Horses, does it again! In this bold new work, Breeding
inspires us to remember the wondrous true nature of our
children. He points out where we have gone wrong, and he
shows us a better way.
Breeding says that we care for children according to our
understanding. If we understand children to be inherently
violent, we can expect to be struggling to tame violent
urges from here on. If we forget that children are born with
an insatiable curiosity and absorbent minds, and instead
think we need to use reward and punishment to make them
learn, then we get a system that creates dumb, unmotivated
students. If we believe that failures in adjustment are due
to biologically based "mental illnesses" like "attention
deficit disorder," then we end up with millions of our
precious children on toxic drugs. This book will help to
clean these distorted mirrors of perception.
The inherent nature of our children includes vast
intelligence, unbridled zest and open-hearted loving. When
we understand just how awesome and wonderful our precious
children are, we can relax, and trust, and see them through
the eyes of delight.
For more information about this book, please visit:
http://www.wildestcolts.com/
The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School
by Valerie Fitzenreiter
Valerie Fitzenreiter's book "The Unprocessed Child" is her
story of how she raised her daughter, Laurie, with
attachment parenting and unschooling methods.
"We raised our child, Laurie, in as much freedom as we could
give her. We introduced no schoolwork into her life unless
she requested it. We gave her no rewards or punishments for
performance or behavior. She was not required to submit to
authority simply because she was younger. We respected her
opinions, decisions, needs and desires from the moment she
made them known to us with an expression on her face or with
body language. When she began articulating, she was taken
seriously and not ignored or silenced. She pursued her own
interests, whether it was a driving passion to learn about
Catherine the Great or to "play" on the computer for eight
years without developing an interest in anything else. We
did not try to motivate her to do anything that society
expects a child to do, nor were we anxious about her lack of
interest in school-related topics. We were there to provide
her with a safe and loving home and to help her in the
pursuit of knowledge, as long as she initiated it."
"The Unprocessed Child" chronicles Laurie's life from birth
to summa cum laude college graduate. It covers the ever-
asked questions about socializing, intelligence, motivation
and discipline. Laurie's life proves that a parent and a
child can be best of friends and have sincere respect for
one another. First and foremost, the book proves that
compulsory education and authoritative parenting are
unnecessary when a parent learns to trust a child to follow
his own heart, mind and interests and acquire what he needs
when he needs it.
Find out more about The Unprocessed Child and read a free
online sample chapter at:
http://www.ubpub.com/index.html
------------------------------------------------------------
"A characteristic of the normal child is that he doesn't act
that way very often." - Author unknown
------------------------------------------------------------
DOUG BENCH'S BRAIN STUFF
Our brain is firing neurons (thinking) on many (approx. 6)
levels at all times, and only one of these is our conscious
level. Therefore, about 5/6th of our brain-power comes from
our non-conscious thoughts and memories. To reach tremendous
levels of success, we must learn what is happening at these
other levels of neurons, and we must learn to control these
non-conscious thoughts and ideas, since they are automatic,
and therefore permanently going to keep firing!
Our Limbic System portion of the lower brain contains what
is known as the Reticular Activating System, or the RAS for
short. Our RAS performs a fantastically important function!
The RAS is like a "switching station" for neuron impulses
that arrive at the threshold of the cortex for
interpretation. If the 'message' is important to us, the RAS
sends the message to our top floor (conscious level). If the
message is not important to us, the RAS sends the message to
the basement (nonsconscious levels). How does the RAS know
what is important or unimportant to us? WE CONTROL THIS WITH
OUR INNERSTATES! We create new synaptic connections every
day, via repetition, association, and emotion!
Look at it this way. We have in our RAS, a friend, Mario,
who comes to work each day to run our RAS toll booth. He
sits down in the booth and waits for message impulses to
arrive for interpretation. Along comes a sound impulse for
example and Mario will send it to the proper part of the
brain for sound interpretation. If the sound is on our
daily IMPORTANT LIST hung on the wall of the tollbooth,
then he will send it to the top floor and we will
consciously 'hear' it. If it's not on our daily important
list, he sends it to the basement (nonconscious levels) and
we don't 'hear' it or we miss that sound! How does Mario get
that list each day? We give it to him! By our "Innerstates",
our dominate thoughts, our repeated thoughts! What is
important to us gets put on that list!
For example, say you were buying a new car, and once you
did, you started seeing that car everywhere; everyone had
one! That's because your new car got put on your daily
important list! Mario now sends you a message to your top
floor of every car like yours that he sees! Automatically!
You don't even have to 'think' about it anymore! You created
new synaptic connections of that car that will last for
years! The more you repeat thoughts of that car; the more
you associate with that car; the more emotional your
experiences with that car, the more important it becomes and
the more synaptic connections you have on your important
list and the longer they will last. (Nearly permanently!)
Learn the SCIENCE of PERMANENT Self-Motivation. So you
don't have to go back again and again and again, and spend
more and more and more money for a short term fix!
Scientific facts do not lie and do not fail, and neither
will you! Guaranteed!
*** 7 Mini-Science Lessons for Maxi-Success ***
This Course is FREE, and a great starting point for you to
run toward the Science of Permanent Self-Motivation.
Subscribe to the 7 Mini-Science Lessons for Maxi-Success
course and to Doug Bench's free Neuroscience Self-Motivation
News at his Science for Success website:
http://www.mcssl.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=69141
AUDIO has been added to Science for Success website!
Doug Bench has added Audio examples of nearly all of his
Systems and Tools to his website.
Go check it out now! Everywhere that you see the
Green 'Play' Button, you can hear a helpful sample of that
Tool.
http://www.mcssl.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=69141
------------------------------------------------------------
PROJECTS OF INTEREST
The Natural Child Project
Parent, homeschooler, author and psychologist Jan Hunt
shares her vision of the world in which all children are
treated with dignity, respect, understanding and compassion.
http://www.naturalchild.org/
The Parenting Project
A non-profit organization founded in 1995 by parent advocate
and mother of three Suzy Garfinkle Chevrier working to bring
parenting, empathy and nurturing skills education to all
school age children and teens.
http://www.parentingproject.org/
Project HappyChild
Penny Rollo Midas' extraordinary extravaganza of resources
for children and parents. Started in 1998, it's now more
than 7,000 pages and still growing!
http://www.happychild.org.uk/
Project Renaissance
Creative thinking pioneer Win Wenger's core mission is to
enable as many human beings as possible to become more than
a match for the situations, opportunities and problems or
difficulties that they find around them, and to enjoy a
richer quality of life and experience.
http://www.winwenger.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you've enjoyed this issue of Parental Intelligence!
Issue 53 will be published on 3 August 2003
PLEASE RECOMMEND PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
WHO HAVE CHILDREN - THEY'LL THANK YOU FOR IT!
Do you have any comments or suggestions? Would you
like to contribute an article?
mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
Please include the words "Parental Intelligence" in the
subject line.
This newsletter is never sent unsolicited. You are
receiving it because you requested a subscription, or it
has been forwarded to you by a friend.
If you're not a subscriber and you'd like to subscribe,
please either visit
http://www.topica.com/lists/pintel
or send a blank email to:
pintel-s-@topica.com
If you want to unsubscribe for any reason, please see the
unsubscribe instructions at the end of this newsletter.
Copyright (c) 2003, Bob Collier except where indicated
otherwise.
Published by:
Bob Collier
3 Goldie Place
Kambah
CANBERRA
ACT 2902
Australia
mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
Have a happy and successful day!
------------------------------------------------------------
"Who is this bloke?" Find out more about the publisher of
Parental Intelligence by sending a blank email to:
bobco-@getresponse.com
------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
 |
|
