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Parental Intelligence - Issue 60
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Bob Collier
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Sep 22, 2003 06:13 PDT
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-------------------PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE------------------
22 September 2003
Issue 60
Bob Collier, Editor mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
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Welcome to Parental Intelligence!
"The world's No.1 email newsletter for thinking parents"
The 3rd International Soul in Education Conference begins on
Saturday 27th here in Australia, near Byron Bay, and runs
until Thursday 2nd October.
Lonny Gold, all the way from Sweden, will be presenting a
workshop at the conference entitled ‘Suggestopedia: learning
as a healing process’ and will also be able to offer
workshops anywhere in Australia between 6th and 17th of
October. For more information on that, he can be contacted
through Kali Wendorf, editor of byronchild magazine at:
ka-@byronpublications.com
If you’d like to know more about Suggestopedia right now,
read on – Lonny Gold’s website is this week’s Website Of
The Week.
In The Candlelight Project this week, I have the complete
text of Dr. Loren Mosher’s letter of resignation from the
American Psychiatric Association, a valuable insider’s
view of the cult of biopsychiatry.
A couple of weeks ago, I was having a discussion with
someone about the “biological necessity of negative
feedback”, in the context of whether it was correct to
assume that feeling good all the time was something to
be achieved at all costs. This week, Joshua Freedman of
the 6 Seconds Emotional Intelligence Network looks at
‘negative emotions’ and explains ‘Why Anger and Fear Are
Your Friends’.
No space for words of wisdom from Doug Bench this week,
but he’ll be back!
Thanks for reading. Have a great week until next time!
Bob
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A FREE GIFT FOR PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE READERS
For a limited time Parental Intelligence would like to give
you a free introductory copy of byronchild, a new Australian
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like Parental Intelligence, supports the propagation of
intelligent information for parents. Simply email
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************************************************************
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
Lonny Gold
http://www.lonnygold.com
Lonny Gold has been a Suggestopedic language teacher for 25
years and an international Suggestopedic teacher trainer for
the last 15 of these. He is the creator of all of his own
material - both for language instruction and teacher
education. Originally Canadian, he has lived in France for
most of his life and directed a Paris-based training
organization for 14 years. He was the Founding President of
France's Conseil National de Suggestopédie, and was, for
many years, a member of the SEAL Committee in the UK.
He currently lives in the north of Sweden.
His most strongly held conviction is:
“When a teacher looks after the learners, the learning looks
after itself.”
Suggestopedia - why it's very special
Suggestopedia is a dynamic and innovative teaching method
that stems from a new vision of learning. Based on the most
recent research on how our brains and memories work, this
approach organizes material in special ways that the mind
can remember spontaneously and then integrates this into
what the learner already knows.
Two elements of this system make it remarkable:
· All information is given emotional meaning. This
"colouring" is precisely what enables the mind to retrieve
the information later on.
· Important knowledge is taught by placing it in a
background context while "side-tracking" the student's
attention with other relevant, but less essential,
material. This is done because long-term memory retains
what it has experienced indirectly; most input experienced
directly only makes it to short-term memory and starts
fading away after 3 or 4 days to "make place" for new
information of more immediate importance - a little like a
teacher, who might progressively erase from a blackboard
the scribblings left from the previous lesson, as more
space is needed for the new business-at-hand.
In Suggestopedia, the teacher is the architect of a highly
stimulating, but psychologically safe, environment where
students constantly surprise themselves by what they have
been able to remember and use creatively. Material is
assimilated before it is analysed, much in the way that
children naturally take in new situations. The emphasis is
on the learning process: results - which are usually 2 to 3
times as fast as in conventional approaches - are regarded
as "side effects" of a proper learning process. In fact,
all language acquisition on this course will be part and
parcel of learning how to learn.
The language texts used have been specially designed and
written for this approach, either by your teachers,
themselves, or by other experts in the field. They are in
the form of plays, in which each participant plays a role.
These texts are presented, dramatically, to Classical music
which gives emotional meaning to the information being
integrated. An encoding session then follows during which
each word and grammatical structure is made "unforgettable"
through specifically chosen historical explanations and
entertaining stories.
The Activation Phase comes next. This is a quick-moving
succession of games, role-plays, stories, songs, jokes and
playful contests, all closely linked to the texts being
learned. The activities change every 5 minutes, each one
flowering into the next one, in a seamless succession of
information-filled fun, designed to appeal - for different
reasons - to learners of every conceivable learning style.
(In fact, the very concept underlying each activity is that
it must contain visual, auditory and kinaesthetic components
to make sure that every learner is able to learn the way
she, or he, likes to learn best.)
The Relaxation Phase is a recapping of the day. The text,
presented in the morning and subsequently activated, is
reread to Baroque music (such as Bach, Handel, Vivaldi,
etc.), while students just relax and listen. This music has
a calming effect on mental activity, thereby making learners
less active and more receptive; this change of state makes
course participants more alert and gives everything they
experience greater resonance.
Students are requested to reread texts every evening just
before falling asleep and again every morning just after
waking up - as these are the times of day most conducive to
the effective assimilation of new material.
Suggestopedia was created by Bulgarian doctor and
psychiatrist Dr. Georgi Lozanov. It is a system that
redefines the speed and depth at which learning is possible,
and believes that the more satisfying and enjoyable an
experience is, the more thoroughly it will be remembered.
Find out more at Lonny Gold’s website!
Lonny Gold
http://www.lonnygold.com
------------------------------------------------------------
"It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still
differentiate between a time for learning and a time for
play without seeing the vital connection between them." –
Leo Buscaglia
------------------------------------------------------------
THE CANDLELIGHT PROJECT
In Issue 58 of Parental Intelligence, I included a quote
from a letter of resignation written to the American
Psychiatric Association by a Dr. Loren Mosher, then an
official with the National Institute of Mental Health.
There was another reference to that letter of resignation
in last week’s article by Dr. Richard Shulman, ‘The
Surgeon General’s New Clothes’.
I am now able to bring you the complete text of Dr.
Mosher’s letter, published here with the permission of the
author.
Letter of Resignation from the American Psychiatric
Association
4 December 1998
Loren R. Mosher, M.D. to Rodrigo Munoz, M.D., President of
the American Psychiatric Association (APA)
Dear Rod,
After nearly three decades as a member it is with a mixture
of pleasure and disappointment that I submit this letter of
resignation from the American Psychiatric Association. The
major reason for this action is my belief that I am actually
resigning from the American Psychopharmacological
Association. Luckily, the organization's true identity
requires no change in the acronym.
Unfortunately, APA reflects, and reinforces, in word and
deed, our drug dependent society. Yet it helps wage war on
"drugs". "Dual diagnosis" clients are a major problem for
the field but not because of the "good" drugs we prescribe.
"Bad" ones are those that are obtained mostly without a
prescription. A Marxist would observe that being a good
capitalist organization, APA likes only those drugs from
which it can derive a profit -- directly or indirectly. This
is not a group for me. At this point in history, in my view,
psychiatry has been almost completely bought out by the drug
companies. The APA could not continue without the
pharmaceutical company support of meetings, symposia,
workshops, journal advertising, grand rounds luncheons,
unrestricted educational grants etc. etc. Psychiatrists
have become the minions of drug company promotions. APA, of
course, maintains that its independence and autonomy are not
compromised in this enmeshed situation. Anyone with the least
bit of common sense attending the annual meeting would
observe how the drug company exhibits and "industry
sponsored symposia" draw crowds with their various
enticements, while the serious scientific sessions are
barely attended. Psychiatric training reflects their
influence as well: the most important part of a resident's
curriculum is the art and quasi-science of dealing drugs,
i.e., prescription writing.
These psychopharmacological limitations on our abilities to
be complete physicians also limit our intellectual horizons.
No longer do we seek to understand whole persons in their
social contexts -- rather we are there to realign our
patients' neurotransmitters. The problem is that it is very
difficult to have a relationship with a neurotransmitter –
whatever its configuration. So, our guild organization
provides a rationale, by its neurobiological tunnel vision,
for keeping our distance from the molecule conglomerates we
have come to define as patients. We condone and promote the
widespread use and misuse of toxic chemicals that we know
have serious long term effects -- tardive dyskinesia,
tardive dementia and serious withdrawal syndromes. So, do I
want to be a drug company patsy who treats molecules with
their formulary? No, thank you very much. It saddens me that
after 35 years as a psychiatrist I look forward to being
dissociated from such an organization. In no way does it
represent my interests. It is not within my capacities to
buy into the current biomedical-reductionistic model
heralded by the psychiatric leadership as once again
marrying us to somatic medicine. This is a matter of
fashion, politics and, like the pharmaceutical house
connection, money.
In addition, APA has entered into an unholy alliance with
NAMI (I don't remember the members being asked if they
supported such an association) such that the two
organizations have adopted similar public belief systems
about the nature of madness. While professing itself the
"champion of their clients" the APA is supporting non-
clients, the parents, in their wishes to be in control, via
legally enforced dependency, of their mad/bad offspring:
NAMI with tacit APA approval, has set out a pro-neuroleptic
drug and easy commitment-institutionalization agenda that
violates the civil rights of their offspring. For the most
part we stand by and allow this fascistic agenda to move
forward. Their psychiatric god, Dr. E. Fuller Torrey, is
allowed to diagnose and recommend treatment to those in the
NAMI organization with whom he disagrees. Clearly, a
violation of medical ethics. Does APA protest? Of course
not, because he is speaking what APA agrees with, but can't
explicitly espouse. He is allowed to be a foil; after all –
he is no longer a member of APA. (Slick work APA!) The
shortsightedness of this marriage of convenience between
APA, NAMI, and the drug companies (who gleefully support
both groups because of their shared pro-drug stance) is an
abomination. I want no part of a psychiatry of oppression
and social control.
"Biologically based brain diseases" are certainly convenient
for families and practitioners alike. It is no-fault
insurance against personal responsibility. We are all just
helplessly caught up in a swirl of brain pathology for which
no one, except DNA, is responsible. Now, to begin with,
anything that has an anatomically defined specific brain
pathology becomes the province of neurology (syphilis is an
excellent example). So, to be consistent with this "brain
disease" view, all the major psychiatric disorders would
become the territory of our neurologic colleagues. Without
having surveyed them I believe they would eschew
responsibility for these problematic individuals. However,
consistency would demand our giving over "biologic brain
diseases" to them. The fact that there is no evidence
confirming the brain disease attribution is, at this point,
irrelevant. What we are dealing with here is fashion,
politics and money. This level of intellectual /scientific
dishonesty is just too egregious for me to continue to
support by my membership.
I view with no surprise that psychiatric training is being
systematically disavowed by American medical school
graduates. This must give us cause for concern about the
state of today's psychiatry. It must mean -- at least in
part -- that they view psychiatry as being very limited and
unchallenging. To me it seems clear that we are headed
toward a situation in which, except for academics, most
psychiatric practitioners will have no real relationships
-- so vital to the healing process -- with the disturbed and
disturbing persons they treat. Their sole role will be that
of prescription writers -- ciphers in the guise of being
"helpers".
Finally, why must the APA pretend to know more than it does?
DSM IV is the fabrication upon which psychiatry seeks
acceptance by medicine in general. Insiders know it is more
a political than scientific document. To its credit it says
so -- although its brief apologia is rarely noted. DSM IV
has become a bible and a money making best seller -- its
major failings notwithstanding. It confines and defines
practice, some take it seriously, others more realistically.
It is the way to get paid. Diagnostic reliability is easy to
attain for research projects. The issue is what do the
categories tell us? Do they in fact accurately represent the
person with a problem? They don't, and can't, because there
are no external validating criteria for psychiatric
diagnoses. There is neither a blood test nor specific
anatomic lesions for any major psychiatric disorder. So,
where are we? APA as an organization has implicitly
(sometimes explicitly as well) bought into a theoretical
hoax. Is psychiatry a hoax -- as practiced today?
Unfortunately, the answer is mostly yes.
What do I recommend to the organization upon leaving after
experiencing three decades of its history?
1. To begin with, let us be ourselves. Stop taking on
unholy alliances without the members' permission.
2. Get real about science, politics and money. Label each
for what it is -- that is, be honest.
3. Get out of bed with NAMI and the drug companies. APA
should align itself, if one believes its rhetoric,
with the true consumer groups, i.e., the ex-patients,
psychiatric survivors etc.
4. Talk to the membership -- I can't be alone in my views.
We seem to have forgotten a basic principle -- the need to
be patient/client/consumer satisfaction oriented. I always
remember Manfred Bleuler's wisdom: "Loren, you must never
forget that you are your patient's employee." In the end
they will determine whether or not psychiatry survives in
the service marketplace.
Copyright © Loren R. Mosher, MD
About Dr. Loren Mosher
Born and raised in California, Dr. Mosher received his B.A.
from Stanford University and M.D., with honors, from
Harvard Medical School in 1961, where he also subsequently
took his psychiatric training. He was Clinical Director of
Mental Health Services for San Diego, California from 7/96
to 11/98and remains a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at
the School of Medicine, University of California at San
Diego. One of his principal tasks in San Diego was the
implementation of a managed care system for public sector
adult clients. From 1988-96 he was Chief Medical Director of
Montgomery County Marylands Department of Addiction, Victim
and Mental Health Services and a Clinical Professor of
Psychiatry at the Uniformed Services University of the
Health Sciences, F. Edward Herbert School of Medicine. In
his role in Montgomery County, he helped establish a number
of innovative programs, including a consumer owned and
operated computer company and a new residential alternative
to psychiatric hospitalization for persons in crisis.
His professional training and experience is both extensive
and wide-ranging. He received research training at the
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Intramural
Research Program in Bethesda, Maryland and at the Tavistock
Clinic in London. From 1968-80 he was the first Chief of
NIMH's Center for Studies of Schizophrenia. While with the
NIMH he founded and served as first Editor-in-Chief of the
Schizophrenia Bulletin.
From 1970 to 1992 he was a collaborating investigator, then
Research Director, of the Soteria Project - Community
Alternatives for the Treatment of Schizophrenia. In this
role, he was instrumental in developing and researching an
innovative, non-drug, non-hospital, home-like, residential
treatment facility for acutely psychotic persons. The many
publications from this experiment demonstrate both the
feasibility and cost-effectiveness of its non-traditional
approach to the treatment of persons newly identified as
having schizophrenia. Continuing his career long interest
in clinical research Dr. Mosher more recently (1990 - 1996)
has been the Principal Investigator of a Center for Mental
Health Services(CMHS) research/demonstration grant for the
first study to compare clinical outcomes and costs of long
term seriously mentally ill public-sector clients("frequent
flyers" randomly assigned (with no psychopathology based
exclusion criteria) to a residential alternative to
hospitalization or the psychiatric ward of a local general
hospital (the McPath project). Its findings, comparable
clinical effectiveness with a 40% cost saving favoring the
alternative, have important acute care implications.
In 1980, while based at the University of Verona Medical
School, Dr. Mosher conducted an in-depth study of Italy's
revolutionary new mental health system. He documented that
a new National Health Service supported system of
catchmented community care could stop admissions to large
state hospitals enabling them to be phased down and
eventually closed. He also showed that where the mandated
community system was implemented properly there were no
adverse consequences for patients or the community.
In his legal/psychiatric work Dr. Mosher was expert witness
for the plaintiffs in two successful class action suites
related to forced medication of psychiatric patients (N.J.;
Renie vs. Klein, 1978; CA; Jamison vs. Farribee 1983). He
is currently expert witness for the plaintiffs in four class
action suites (MD, VA, DC &AZ) against Psychiatric
Institutes of America(PIA) and National Medical Enterprises
(NME) for medical malpractice and insurance fraud (1994-
present).
As a clinician, Dr. Mosher specializes in family and
adolescent treatment, community psychiatry program
consultation, and staff training. As a teacher, he is an
acknowledged expert at conveying the essential and critical
aspects of the interviewing process to students at all
levels.
In addition to over 100 articles and reviews, Dr. Mosher has
edited books on the Psychotherapy of Schizophrenia and on
Milieu Treatment. His book, Community Mental Health:
Principles and Practice, written with his Italian colleague,
Dr. Lorenzo Burti, was published by W.W. Norton in 1989. A
revised, updated, abridged paperback version, Community
Mental Health: A Practical Guide, appeared in 1994. It has
been translated into five languages. Most recently he has
founded his own consulting company, Soteria Associates, to
provide individual, family and system consultation using the
breadth of experience described above. For consultation
please call, fax or e-mail Dr. Mosher at his home.
ADDRESSES:
Office and Home: 2616 Angell Avenue, San Diego, CA 92122
Phone: (858) 550-0312 Fax: (858) 558-0854
E-Mail: 102754-@compuserve.com
Dr. Mosher’s website is at:
http://www.moshersoteria.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
If you're not up to speed with The Candlelight Project and
would like to read about it from the beginning, please
visit the following web page and read from Parental
Intelligence Issue 49:
http://www.topica.com/lists/pintel/read
If you'd like to read The Parental Intelligence Report on
'ADHD', published May 2003, please send a blank email to:
pire-@getresponse.com
To discover more of the truth about 'ADHD', please visit:
ADHD Fraud
http://www.adhdfraud.org/
Death From Ritalin
http://www.ritalindeath.com/
A.S.P.I.R.E.
http://www.aspire.us/
Wildest Colts Make the Best Horses
(Download a free copy of "A Colt of a Booklet" while you're
there!)
http://www.wildestcolts.com/
Citizens Commission on Human Rights
http://www.cchr.org/
Able Child - Parents for Label and Drug Free Education
http://ablechild.org/
Fight For Kids
http://www.fightforkids.org/
See you next week on the Candlelight Trail!
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Constructive Emotions: Why Anger and Fear Are Your Friends
by Joshua Freedman
Listening to the news for an hour is enough to stir fear in
anyone. Like a clammy fog, the fear seems to constrict your
heart and drain your energy.
It feels bad -- so it must be bad, right?
While fear and other unpleasant emotions certainly can be
debilitating, these emotions are not bad for you, they are
not destructive, and they are not negative. Rather, they are
a source of vital information and protection.
Fear's Warning
When you touch a hot stove, it hurts. It's your body's way
of saying, "Hey! Don't touch that!!!" So while it hurts, is
that sensitivity negative or bad? It does not feel good to
be burned, so we learn to avoid the hot stove. In the same
way, fear is a message to help us avoid danger.
At its essence, fear is a message of uncertainty. It is a
warning that there is a potential risk. The risk may be
obvious (as in the fear of heights), or it may be more
veiled (as in the fear of having a child). Sometimes people
make this distinction between clear and generalized fears
as "rational fear" and "irrational fear;" since fear is
inherently non-rational, that may be a misleading
differentiation. Rather, it is useful to see that there are
fears we understand, and fears we don't.
To understand fear, we need to know what uncertainty is
causing the fear. At the top of a high ski slope, the fear
is usually clear. "I am not certain I will live to get to
the bottom of this hill." The resolution of the fear is
actually simple: Commit. Point your skis down the fall line,
and go. Once you commit, the fear goes away because the
uncertainty is gone.
Unfortunately, many of us sit at the top of the ski slope
debating, "Can I?" We start blaming, wishing we were
somewhere else, exhibiting negative behaviors -- all in an
effort to challenge the commitment. Our fear is saying, "Do
you REALLY mean to do this?"
In the midst of the uncertainty, it is easy to become
distracted from the real question; your fear brings in all
kinds of other questions, doubts, and past experiences.
Perhaps you remain engaged in inner debate; you focus on
"shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" on blame, and on past failures.
Fear actually increases as your uncertainty increases, and
soon you are paralyzed -- but more about that later.
Alternately, you remember the essential question: Do you
really mean to ski this hill? Say "Yes!" and mean it, the
fear quiets, and away you go.
You're about to give major public speech, and fear courses
through you. You might be embarrassed, you might die of
shame, you might become the target of ridicule, you might
fail, you might succeed to far. Again, the fear is asking,
"Do you really mean it? Are you committed?" If you
equivocate or avoid the question, the fear will remain a
powerfully driving force -- it will increase. In one of the
ironies of "helpful fear," by remaining in the thick of the
emotion, your capacity to succeed will diminish. Stuck in
the "unaddressed fear" you will have less clarity, less
energy, and less success in your speech. The fear will
become a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other hand, if you
answer fear's question, it will help you. By answering
fear's question, you see why this presentation is so
important. You connect with your deeply held values and
vision, you embrace the audience's real need to hear the
message, and your power and efficacy is increased.
Anger Kills?
Anger also has a bad rap. I know that I've done stupid
things when angry, so it is easy to see anger as destructive
and negative. Again, an hour of watching the news is enough
to convince even the most emotion-friendly person that anger
is at the root of all kinds of troubles.
Or is it?
Like fear, anger serves a useful purpose. Fear asks, "Are
you sure?" Anger asks, "Will you take action?" Think of all
the people who were angry about civil rights. About taxation
without representation. About the tyranny of monarchies. Or,
in more mundane angers, how about feeling so frustrated with
those too-tight pants that you finally start exercising? Or
anger about tar-stained teeth you finally quit smoking? Even
anger about being told "you can't" that leads you to prove
you can?
Anger means "there is something I don't like about the
situation," or, "my way was blocked." As with fear, the
challenge is to identify that "something." Once we listen to
the message, the feeling diminishes, and we have a clear
course of action.
Unfortunately, like fear, anger feeds on itself when you are
not clear. The generalized sense of frustration leads us to
see more and more that frustrates us, and anger builds
because the essential discomfort remains. Like a tiny thorn
that leads to a terrible wound, the minor irritation
escalates from neglect.
Everything In Moderation
These positive emotions become dangerous when they escalate.
Anger escalates to rage, fear escalates to terror. Both
trigger the same kind of "fight, freeze, or flight" reaction
a core survival mechanism. In that crisis reaction, we don't
care about the long-term. We forget about consequences and
do anything to survive. We'll "hit back first" to destroy
the risk, we'll become immobilized to hide from the risk, or
we'll run to avoid it. Yet even these extreme reactions are
examples of the intelligence of our emotions. They are
interpreting a situation and creating a conclusion working
to keep us alive. The problem is that for most of us, this
intelligence is not trained well, and in such challenging
moments our strong emotions lead us to unproductive,
dangerous, and even destructive actions.
So how does something so positive turn dangerous? Imagine
these emotions are like an ignored child: Yesterday I
watched my daughter, Emma, struggle with anger. She did not
like what we'd told her, and so she began to protest. We did
not listen to the protests, so she got louder. Finally, she
picked up an expensive toy and threw it -- suddenly, she got
attention (perhaps even more than she wanted).In the same
way, we all experience anger or fear, and conditioned to see
them as negative, we ignore the feelings. In the case of
fear, we ignore the message that we're not certain. The fear
escalates to get our attention, and pretty soon we've got a
generalized sense of dread, or even terror -- but we don't
know where it came from! We don't know the question -- we
are standing on the ski slope debating about why we got here
in the first place and ignoring the clear decision before us.
Take, for example, the "Orange Alerts" recently so common in
the US. It is a system designed to arouse concern (fear) so
people become more vigilant. On one level it works –
anxiety increases vigilance and critical thinking. Then,
over time, the fear begins to feed on itself because we
can't identify the action to take. We can't "ski the fall
line" of anti-terrorism, so we take action that is not
constructive such as hoarding duct tape or beating up people
with turbans -- anything to assuage that sense of dread. Of
course, these actions do not help because they do not answer
the real question fear is asking: "Are you certain?" We
don't even know what we're uncertain about!
In other words, we've gone from a specific, clear feeling to
a generalized, overwhelming one. The emotion has begun to
feed on itself and color all of our perceptions. It is even
more difficult to really listen to the emotion because it
feels even more overwhelming, and this generalized sense of
threat is confusing and paralyzing. Our bodies prepare for
the worst, and get ready for survival mode. Then something
comes along to inspire anger, and it is like a spark to a
powder keg.
Who's Driving?
While some people talk about "emotional intelligence" as a
way of being "smart in the way we control our emotions,"
this view misses the real point. Emotional intelligence is
about how our emotions are smart all by themselves. Emotions
are a system of processing information and drawing
conclusions. They guide us and help us.
If a person tries to follow a map and gets lost, we don't
assume that the map is bad, nor do we assume the person is
broken. Instead, it is most likely that he just has not
developed enough skill at map reading. With some training,
his "map intelligence" can help him get where he's going.
Likewise, many people have not developed or trained the
intelligence of their emotions, and they'd gain great
benefit from developing those abilities.
The terrible irony is that the more we seek to diminish and
ignore our emotions, the more desperate they become to
deliver their messages. We go to war within ourselves, our
energy is consumed, and our decision-making is impaired.
Like any system, this dysfunctional relationship with
emotions may "work ok" in day-to-day life. But what happens
when the threats and fears pile up? When the world becomes
less predictable, feels more dangerous? Suddenly, the
dysfunction becomes dangerous, and the war expands to
consume us.
The alternative: make peace, each of us starting within
ourselves, one emotion at a time. As we form a constructive
partnership with our emotions, we'll still feel emotions
that are uncomfortable, but we'll work together to make a
change for the better.
Begin by changing your opinion of "negative emotions" and
keep telling yourself they are your allies. Appreciate them.
Ask your emotions for advice, give yourself time to listen
to them. And like any advisors, don't accept their first
reaction -- inquire, explore, and question, get multiple
viewpoints, and collaborate for the deepest possible
understanding.
------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you to Dr. Peter Salovey for pointing out that even
our "negative reactions" are examples of the intelligence
of our emotions.
------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright ©2003, Joshua Freedman
Josh is a leading expert in teaching people to apply and
enhance their emotional intelligence (EQ). He works with
organizations and individuals around the world developing
EQ programs that increase accountability, motivation, and
purpose. Read about his speaking at:
http://www.jmfreedman.com
Dr. Peter Salovey is a psychologist renowned for his work
with Emotional Intelligence or EQ. He has written several
books on human emotions including The Remembered Self, a
book which discusses the role of memory in personality.
http://salovey.socialpsychology.org/
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------------------------------------------------------------
PROJECTS OF INTEREST
The Natural Child Project
Parent, homeschooler, author and psychologist Jan Hunt
shares her vision of the world in which all children are
treated with dignity, respect, understanding and compassion.
http://www.naturalchild.org/
The Parenting Project
A non-profit organization founded in 1995 by parent advocate
and mother of three Suzy Garfinkle Chevrier working to bring
parenting, empathy and nurturing skills education to all
school age children and teens.
http://www.parentingproject.org/
Project HappyChild
Penny Rollo Midas' extraordinary extravaganza of resources
for children and parents. Started in 1998, it's now more
than 7,000 pages and still growing!
http://www.happychild.org.uk/
Project Renaissance
Creative thinking pioneer Win Wenger's core mission is to
enable as many human beings as possible to become more than
a match for the situations, opportunities and problems or
difficulties that they find around them, and to enjoy a
richer quality of life and experience.
http://www.winwenger.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you've enjoyed this issue of Parental Intelligence!
Issue 61 will be published on 29 September 2003
PLEASE RECOMMEND PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
WHO HAVE CHILDREN - THEY'LL THANK YOU FOR IT!
Do you have any comments or suggestions? Would you
like to contribute an article?
mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
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Copyright (c) 2003, Bob Collier except where indicated
otherwise.
Published by:
Bob Collier
3 Goldie Place
Kambah
CANBERRA
ACT 2902
Australia
mailto:quauss-@hotmail.com
Have a happy and successful day!
------------------------------------------------------------
"Who is this bloke?" Find out more about the publisher of
Parental Intelligence by sending a blank email to:
bobco-@getresponse.com
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