|
The Daily Probe -- November 9, 2001
|
Top5 Productions
|
Nov 09, 2001 13:32 PST
|
===================================================================
[ --== TopFive.com Presents ==-- ]
[ T H E D A I L Y P R O B E ]
[ All the News THEY Don't Want You To Know About ]
-------------------------------------------------------------------
[ Satire! Comedy! Legal Disclaimer! Satire! Comedy! ]
===================================================================
Please attach the following line to any forwarded portions:
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White in-@dailyprobe.com ]
November 9, 2001
===================================================================
[ NEW PROBE WEBSITE ISSUE ON NEWSSTANDS NOW! ]
===================================================================
The new issue of THE DAILY PROBE is online NOW!
Read fascinating near-true stories such as:
* Stooge Experts Warn of Terrorist Eye-Poking Threat
* Greek Firefighters Hailed As Gyros
* American Males Mourn Passing of Bare-Navel Season for Hot Chicks
THE DAILY PROBE -- Because *real* news sucks.
New issue online every Monday.
Click here -> <http://www.dailyprobe.com>
===================================================================
[ HEADLINES ]
===================================================================
Human Remains Found in Sandwich: Oprah Declares "Needs more Mayo!"
Illuminati-Obsessed Man Refuses To Discuss Illuminati
America Visitors Complain:
"I am a Tourist" Sounds Too Much Like "I am a Terrorist"
Peter Jennings Injures Self Pronouncing Pakistani Names
Maria Shriver's Cheekbones Declared National Strategic Calcium
Reserve
North Dakota Department of Economic Development Actually Exists
Salesman Known To Take a Drink Now and Again, Now, Again
MTV Exec Debates Whether to Play "Rock the Casbah" Over War Footage
Poll: 4 Out Of 5 Dentists Prefer Scooby Doo Over Scrappy Doo
===================================================================
[ ACTUAL ADVERTISEMENT ]
===================================================================
THE BEST ORIGINAL HUMOR ON THE NET! Subscribe today!
* The Top 5 List -- Brand new original "Top 10" lists, daily!
mailto:top5-su-@topica.com
* ClubTop5 -- Our premium list. Bigger, cooler, better!
http://www.topfive.com/html/ClubTop5.shtml
* Little Fivers -- Weekly "Top 10" lists on specific topics
http://www.topfive.com/html/minilists.shtml
* Top5Classic -- The best from the Top 5 List vaults
mailto:top5classic-@topica.com
* Ruminations -- 5 short humorous quotes every weekday
mailto:ruminations-@topica.com
* The Daily Probe -- an all-original newspaper satire
mailto:probe-su-@topica.com
* The Whack Report -- hysterically funny true stories
mailto:whack-su-@topica.com
===================================================================
[ The Daily Probe is a Top5 publication ]
[ Copyright 2001, Chris White ]
[ --- --- --- --- ]
[ Please forward this message only in its entirety. ]
[ Radio and television programs, magazines and newspapers ]
[ *must* receive permission before using this material. ]
===================================================================
[ P R O B E I N F O ]
[ -------------------- ]
[ To kvetch at the editor: Send mail to chr-@topfive.com ]
[ To kvell at the owner: Send mail to chr-@topfive.com ]
[ --- --- --- --- --- --- ]
[ Got a nasty itch to show off your wit and barbed tongue? ]
[ Write for The Probe! Send mail to writ-@dailyprobe.com ]
===================================================================
TOP5 PRODUCTIONS The Home of Original Humor www.topfive.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Top 5 List (original lists) top5-su-@topica.com
Top5 Classic (greatest hits) top5classic-@topica.com
Ruminations (odd thoughts) ruminations-@topica.com
The Daily Probe (news satire) probe-su-@topica.com
The Whack Report (real stories) whack-su-@topica.com
The Kid Report (kid stories) kidreport--@topica.com
Gadget Geek (cool stuff) gadgetgeek-@topica.com
===================================================================
[ T H E D A I L Y P R O B E ]
===================================================================
|
|
 |
|
