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The Daily Probe -- March 21, 2002
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Top5 Productions
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Mar 21, 2002 14:38 PST
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[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White in-@dailyprobe.com ]
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March 21, 2002
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The latest issue of THE DAILY PROBE is online NOW,
featuring articles and headlines such as:
* Heaven's Band Still Ignoring Sonny Bono
* Yates Sane, Say Insane Texans
* Barometric Pressure Falls as "Star Wars: Episode 2" Begins Sucking
* Daily Probe Fashion Exclusive: "Enduring Freedom" Weddings
http://www.dailyprobe.com
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[ FROM THE DAILY PROBE ARCHIVES ]
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WOMAN HAS SEISMIC ORGASM
LOS ANGELES, CA (DPI) - A quiet, lazy Saturday afternoon here was
disrupted by a minor quake. The U.S. Geological Survey pinpointed
the epicenter to the second floor bedroom at 218 Alcove Circle,
Apartment C. "I felt the Earth move for me with this one. I was
out of breath for an hour. It's never been like this before," said
apartment-dweller Maureen Mammo. The earth shaking activity lasted
a full 2 minutes. "It was a yellin', screamin', head-thrashin',
sheet-grabbin', nail-diggin', back-archin', toe-curlin' orgasm!
It was definitely the big one! The Big 'O' for me!" The slight
tremor measured 2.9 on the Nina Hartley scale. It rattled windows
in San Diego and caused bridges to sway as far north as San Fran-
cisco. Roughly 2 hours later, aftershocks of identical magnitude
were felt coming from the same location. Much later, Miss Mammo
said, "I don't know who makes those new batteries, but I'm buying
stock in that company!"
- Reported by Dave Henry
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[ HEADLINES ]
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* Arthur Andersen To Charge By The Lie
* Patron Saint of Ireland Honored with Green Beer, Vomit
* Ball-less Man Defends Wife's $25K/Year Stuffed-Animal Hobby
* Opinion: No, Mr. Hip-Hop Person, I Do Not KnowWhatYouAreSaying
* Software Pirate Buys Parrot
* Boston Pedocese Under Investigation
* Blue Alert Causes Thousands to Rush to KMart
* Explosion in Nitrous Oxide Plant Claims 32 Amid Gales of Laughter
* $20 Spurs Economic Recovery in Region's Homeless Segment
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[ The Daily Probe is a Top5 publication ]
[ Copyright 2002, Chris White ]
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