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The Daily Probe -- April 4, 2002
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Top5 Productions
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Apr 04, 2002 10:49 PST
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April 4, 2002
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The latest issue of THE DAILY PROBE is online NOW!
http://www.dailyprobe.com
Read the stories to near-true headlines such as:
* Bush Daughters Prepare for Their Turn at Ridding World of Saddam
* Cartoon Characters Accuse Priest of Molestation
* Goth Chick Votes for Black and Dark Black for Class Colors
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[ WORLD NEWS ]
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Queen Mum Dies Among Fluffy Hats
LONDON (DPI) - Britain's beloved Queen Mother passed away this
weekend, suffocated by a deluge of fluffy hats. Queen Elizabeth's
mother was found in her closet under four feet of flowery hats,
apparently after a shelf was unable to withstand the combined
weight of the decorative head-coverings. This is not the first
time an accessory has claimed the life of a British royal. In 1973,
Lord Mountbatten was killed by a pair of wild boots, later
memorialized in song by Nancy Sinatra. The Queen Mum won the
hearts of all Britons with her self-confidence and free spirit,
when in 1926, after decades of Victorian propriety, the Queen Mum
became the first British royal to have a bowel movement. She died
at 101, a free spirit with a clean intestine.
- Reported by Slick Sharkey
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[ OTHER HEADLINES ]
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* Filmgoers Demand Reparations for SNL Movies
* Tiger Woods Says He Represents All "Half-frican Americans"
* Single Friend's Relationship with Pet Getting Creepier
* New Webcam Arrives Without Swimsuited Woman
* Opinion: Bo Derek Should Pay Tribute to Dudley Moore
by Showing Us Her Tits Again
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[ Copyright 2002, Chris White ]
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