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The Daily Probe -- June 18, 2002
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Top5 Productions
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Jun 18, 2002 23:06 PDT
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June 18, 2002
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The latest issue of THE DAILY PROBE is online NOW!
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Read almost-true stories and headlines such as:
* Bob Seger Releases New Album of Truck Songs
* PBS Fundraisers to Make Your Children Cry Until
They Reach Goal
* Bible No Help Whatsoever With Beer Choice
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[ IN OTHER NEWS ]
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* Bush Proposes Homeland Fuhrer Position
* McCartney Wedding Guests Fight Over Who Gets to
Drive Limo into Pool
* Bishops Move Diagonally On Abuse Scandal
* Marketers, Politicians to Square Off in Panderpalooza '02
* Mississippi Voters to Allow Education
* David Blaine Collapses While Standing in Line at the DMV
* Rwanda Beats East Timor to Take World Cup Title,
as Far as Americans Know
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[ MORE HEADLINES ]
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* BMW-Driving Cutoff Artist Not Breaking Any Fucking Stereotypes
* Operation "Enduring Criticism" Enters Third Week
* Overstocked Beautician "Up to Here" in Eyebrow Pencils
* Bush Announces New, Improved Homeland Security with
"Flavor Sparkles"
* Nation's Beaches Host Annual Return of Pasty, Hairy People
* Whiny Toddler Aborts Dad's Plan for Massive Uninterrupted
Dump
* Halle Berry Still Rambling Incoherently at Oscar Podium
* Guy With Accent Calls 0-0 Soccer Match "Quite Thrilling"
* Mr. T Makes Forbes 400 as Gold Prices Spike
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[ Copyright 2002, Chris White ]
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