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Jest for Pun - Too Many Rhymes !
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Gunjan
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Feb 23, 2004 22:32 PST
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JEST FOR PUN
24th February 2004
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
~ Woody Allen in 'Without Feathers' ~
More Quotes from this fantastic book -
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/feathers.shtml
^^^^^^^^^
==> Who am I ?
To Mama I'm the 'apple of her eye'
Her joy when I laugh, her darling when I cry,
Her doll, her angel, and her cuddly coo,
Her Dennis the Menace, her Winnie-The-Pooh.
All this cuddly-talk my Daddy detests,
Coz to him Will-n-me are nothing but pests.
He only puts up with us pair of hoods,
Coz he hopes someday we'll outdo Tiger Woods.
To Will, my brother, I'm partner scalawag,
Who often doubles as his punching bag.
He loves to have me around to boss,
To bully, to tease and around to toss !
I was so confused ... in such a jam,
Trying to figure out who I am.
These doubts, and thoughts that are so uncool,
Kept bothering me till I went to school.
There, no human traits in me did they find,
To all the other Me's my teacher was blind,
"Read, write, writhe" droned my teacher Francine...
To her I'm nothing but a Homework Machine !
~ Gunjan
(Hey Doc ... is that better? ;)
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WHAT'S IN A NAME?
Fess Fink - reform school student, stoolie
Manny Hughes - age 4, crayon artist extraordinaire
Fran Ticke - a.k.a. The Deadline Queen
Punny names, joke-cartoons, and more at
http://www.grinningplanet.com/9001/jestforpun.htm
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==> Meditations for the Jewish Buddhist
All the great lines that we had under
Meditations for the Jewish Buddhist
in the last issue are all taken from
David M. Bader's book -
"Zen Judaism, For You A Little Enlightenment"
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/060961021X/jestforpun
the sequel to his wonderful
"Haikus For Jews, For You A Little Wisdom."
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/060960502X/jestforpun
Thanks to Dr. Stan Kegel for bringing this to our notice.
===============================
'Great Speaking'
If you're interested in good Public Speaking Tips
and Tips on using Humor in your presentations,
I strongly recommend Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking'
newsletter. With over 1,20,000 subscribers and
fantastic fee structure (It's free) wouldn't you
say it's definitely worth a try? Check it out at
http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606
===============================
==> Limericks... On Anon
(In reply to the Anon Limericks in the last issue)
It don't bother me if 'risque'
it keeps my libido 'frisk-ay."
the ones I have seen
that are pallid and clean,
dont' get my clothes in disk-array.'
Well, sometimes the words just don't come
therefore, I finagle some.
So please judge fairly
criticism scare me;
(and) I claim I'm inventive, not dumb.
I sure long to meet that Anon..
Neither pallid, insipid nor wan;
Omnipresent in lit,
his words always fit,
I wonder where Anon has gone,.
~ Lane
==========**********O**********==========
Normally, as you all know, Mother Goose does all the talking !
Finally Father Gander has his say ...
http://snurl.com/frgander
==========**********O**********==========
===> Limerical Pun with Palidromes...
A palindrome always departs
Returning back from whence it starts
Symmetrical fashion
Inspiring passion
In all of us word-players' hearts
GARY HALLOCK
==================
There are those who think Dubya's a dud,
And consider his name to be mud.
Symmetrically they talk,
But sputter and squawk
When they say, "Dubya won? No way, bud!"
Kirk Miller
(from Limericks and Haiku Group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/limericks_n_haiku/ )
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Do you know the difference between caveat emptor and
an empty bowl of caviar? Likewise, if you've been carjacked,
are you the victim of a robbery, burglary, or are you just
happy to finally be rid of that 1983 Chevy Nova?
In If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit?, you will find the
answer to these questions and hundreds of equally silly
questions. More importantly, you will learn the
fundamental principles of our legal system.
Follow this link and enjoy one of the best Book Descriptions
that I have come across...
http://snurl.com/acquit
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==> Pun your way to the nineteenth...
Here's a golf foursome you wouldn't want to follow:
Monica, because she's a hooker,
OJ Simpson, because he's a slicer,
Ted Kennedy, because he can't drive over water,
Bill Clinton, because he can't remember which hole he's playing.
(Thanks Dianne)
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Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...
http://snurl.com/impwit
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==> The Last Word
Two West Virginia lawyers hired a secretary from a small town
in the hills. She was attractive, and really hot but it was obvious
that she knew nothing about city life.
One attorney said to the other, "Mary is so young and pretty she
might be taken advantage of by some of those fast-talking city guys.
Why don't we teach her what's right and what's wrong?"
"Great idea," said the partner. You teach her what's right."
(Thanks tOM)
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Thanks
Gunjan
gun-@workinghumor.com
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