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Jest for Pun - PeeKaboo
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Gunjan
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Apr 06, 2004 21:05 PDT
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JEST FOR PUN
6th April 2004
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If cats could talk, they wouldn't.
~ Nan Porter ~
More Catty Quotes at
http://workinghumor.com/quotes/cats.shtml
^^^^^^^^^
==> Punny Riddle
If a centipede a pint and a velocipede a quart,
how much would a precipice?
| | Shake the old gray cells some more...
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It would be just a drop.
~ Steven N. S.
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Does your Cat speak any French ?
Isn't it high time you taught him some ?
Who better to help you teach him than
Henri de la Barbe (Henry Beard) ?
Check out ... French for Cats
http://snipurl.com/catfrench
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==> And the Oscar goes to...
"He's gay!" This I've known since a child
It's info that I've long since filed
But still I do wonder
Who he studied under
Who was it that drove Oscar Wilde?
GARY HALLOCK
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Of Wilde's early childhood we learnest
The passions for man in him burnest.
With friend, door the next
Oscar learned about sex --
The Importance of Being in Ernest.
-- Bob Dvorak
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'Great Speaking'
If you're interested in good Public Speaking Tips
and Tips on using Humor in your presentations,
I strongly recommend Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking'
newsletter. With over 1,20,000 subscribers and
fantastic fee structure (It's free) wouldn't you
say it's definitely worth a try? Check it out at
http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606
===============================
==> Pun with single Letter Changes !
Cognito ergo sum:
You know who I am. So add it up!
Don't drink and drivel:
The utterances of the inebriated are often far from
profound, so watch it.
~ Cynthia MacGregor
GO FROTH AND MULTIPLY -
If you have too much head on your beer you're going
to need a very absorbent paper towel.
GOD SAVE THE QUEER -
Right wing Bible thumpers chanting protests
outside San Francisco city hall.
COGITO ERGO SUMO -
I think there are four fat Japanese guy wrestling.
~ GARY HALLOCK
==========**********O**********==========
Normally, as you all know, Mother Goose does
all the talking ! Finally Father Gander has his say ...
http://snurl.com/frgander
==========**********O**********==========
===> Comical Punning ...
Gunther - "I've really missed watching baseball"
Pierpoint - "Yeah"
Gunther - "Do you think those guys are playing on
natural grass?"
Pierpoint - "Nah"
"I think they stick pretty much to steroids."
(The Grizzwells)
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Rat - "Hey Chicken. How goes it?
Chicken - "Bad. Farmer Jake is oppressing us.
We live in squalor while he parades
around in this two-door sports car.
Rat - "What are you going to do?
Chicken - "All of the chickens are going to rise up,
kill Jake, and claim his car in the name
of the revolution."
Rat - "A coup by the coop for the coupe?"
Chicken - "Something like that."
(Pearls before Swine)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rat - "Pig, this is my old friend, Satan.
He is going to stay with us for a few days."
Pig - "Stay with us? Why?
Satan - "I hope you don't mind. I'm having my
place remodeled."
Pig - "Why are you remodeling?"
Satan - "It looks like hell."
(Pearls before Swine)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank - "Wow! 'Lord of the Rings has done
very well at the box office.It's made
some people rich."
Ernest - "They're elf-made millionaires."
(Frank and Ernest)
=====================
Do you know the difference between caveat emptor
and an empty bowl of caviar? Likewise, if you've
been carjacked, are you the victim of a robbery,
burglary, or are you just happy to finally be rid
of that 1983 Chevy Nova?
In If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit?, you will find
the answer to these questions and hundreds of equally
silly questions. More importantly, you will learn the
fundamental principles of our legal system.
Follow this link and enjoy one of the best Book
Descriptions that I have come across...
http://snurl.com/acquit
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==> Call that punny?
While visiting his niece, an elderly man had a heart attack.
The niece drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.
After what seemed like a very long wait, the E.R. doctor
appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said,
"I'm afraid that your uncle's brain is dead, but his heart is still
beating."
"Oh, dear," cried the woman, her hands clasped against
her cheeks with shock, "We've never had a
Republican in the family before."
(Thanks tOM)
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Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult.
His jabs at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring
conventionality still have a penetrating power.
His snubs and put-downs became the talk of his
time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750
biting comments...
http://snurl.com/impwit
===============================
==> The Last Word (The Focused Doctor)
The blonde patient sees her doctor because she really
wants to loose weight. He prescribes a special
low-fat/low-carb diet which she follows exactly.
After three weeks she comes back to a check-up all
happy because she already lost 15 pounds. However it
seems that she developed an insatiable hunger for sex.
"That's a quite normal reaction." explains the doctor and
tells her not to worry.
Another three weeks later she returns for yet another
control visit and is devastated.
"What's wrong?" the medic asks her, as she sits crying in
front of him.
"Oh, Doc! I feel so bad. You know with all that insatiable
hunger, I bit off one of my hubby's balls last night."
The doctor puts his arm around the sobbing woman.
"Don't you worry. One testicle can't have more than
60 calories."
Thanks Dr. Stan Kegel ... Groaners Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners
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Thanks
Gunjan
gun-@workinghumor.com
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