RDJ-- Mock Crab Salad, 04-11-12
Apr 11, 2012 18:30 PDT
Volume 15 Number 66
US Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-3292
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Mock Crab Salad
2 cups shredded peeled parsnip
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1/4 cup chopped pimiento-stuffed olives
1/4 cup fat-free mayonnaise
2 tablespoons minced fresh onion
2 tablespoons 1% low-fat milk
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 (4-ounce) jar diced pimiento, drained
Combine all ingredients, tossing well. Makes 4 servings.
Amount per serving
Calories from fat: 21%
Saturated fat: 0.3g
Monounsaturated fat: 0.8g
Polyunsaturated fat: 0.2g
Rich's Note: Mayo and Butter (from 2000)
My grandmother used to get offended whenever you didn’t eat whatever she
served. People’s tastes change. I went to live with her (again) when I
got out of the army and went to college.
We were out on the boat fishing one weekend when she pulled out some
sandwiches for lunch. They were ham and cheese. But she had buttered
both slices of bread first, then added mayo, and then put the cheese
next to the mayo. After that was the ham, lettuce, mustard, and the
other slice of bread (with more mayo and more butter).
Somewhere along the line I’d decided that one doesn’t combine mayo with
butter on a sandwich. I’d also decided that one NEVER allowed mayo to
touch cheese. I didn’t want to eat the sandwich.
She didn’t understand. It was as alien to her as the why of a child not
wanting his or her foods touching each other on the dinner plate. "It
goes down the same hole!" she maintained.
Rather than let it cause too much friction, I ate the sandwich and
fibbed, saying I was wrong, it actually tasted good. I kept waiting for
her to turn away so I could throw it over the side. "I knew you’d like
it," she said. "So I made you two. Here." And she handed me another
"Got any pickles?" I asked.
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Do You Remember?
Pat Boone 1957
title song from film starring Boone, Janet Gaynor, and Terry Moore
Words and Music by Johnny Mercer
Oh, Bernadine (sigh)
Oh, oh, oh, Bernadine
I can tell by the dimple on your chin
You're in beautiful shape for the shape you're in
An' I'm in shape for Bernadine
Oh, oh, oh, Bernadine
When you wander inta my dreams at night
Your remarkable form is a pure delight
I go, go, go for Bernadine
You're a little bit like ev'ry girl I've ever seen
Oh, your separate parts are not unknown
But the way you assemble them's all your own
All yours and mine, dear Bernadine (yours and mine, dear Bernadine)
Oh, oh, oh, Bernadine
Say you'll wait for me out by the rocket base
And we'll both blast off into outer space
At oh, oh, oh-oh, Bernadine
Come away with me now in the rocket-propelled machine
We'll come home by the way of a drive-in spa
Just a little this side of Shangri-La
And there I'll stay with Bernadine (there I'll stay with Bernadine)
There I'll stay with Bernadine!
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