|
Single Scene November newsletter
|
Janet Jacobsen
|
Oct 30, 2007 15:24 PST
|
SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 10-30-07 Issue 133
Copyright Single Scene 2007
http://www.azsinglescene.com
========================================================
I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Beware the Buffet!
** Being Grateful is Good for You
** Tis the Season of Free Entertainment
** How Stewing over a Lost Love Can Cook Your Goose
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Lousy marriage makes you sick
-- Dating tips from a new matchmaker
-- Healthiest dating activity
-- Best phone for dating
** Fun Things to Do in November
---------------------------------------
For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
---------------------------------------
LOCAL SINGLES NEWS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Grief and Loss Retreat" Dec. 7-9
Designed for anyone experiencing grief over the death of a loved one, a
Grief and Loss Retreat will be offered Dec. 7-9 at the Franciscan
Renewal Center, 5802 E Lincoln Dr., Scottsdale. Led by Sheila Ringgold
Marchetta, MA, and Mauro Pando, MC, the retreat covers the grief process
and ways to heal. Check-in is 5 pm Friday, with dinner at 6; the
retreat concludes after lunch on Sunday. The $135 fee, double-occupancy
($175 single) includes lodging, meals and materials. For information
contact the Renewal Center at 480-948-7460.
---------------------------------------
Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up
for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to
dating_agai-@topica.com. It’s informative and it’s free!
---------------------------------------
BEWARE THE BUFFET!
Calorie control for holiday dining
Potlucks. Office parties. Singles group gatherings. They can
sabotage your waistline -- especially during holiday season, when
friends and office mates contribute foods and we feel compelled to
sample everything.
Best solutions, according to "Vitality" magazine:
--Don't go to an event starved; skipping meals encourages over-eating.
--Mingle first, eat later. That cuts your time for calorie
consumption.
--Start with your beverage of choice. After the first, shift to
something low calorie like ice tea. Or at least alternate an alcoholic
drink with a nonalcoholic drink.
--Sit down with your plate to eat. Chatting with the buffet table
close at hand encourages mindless nibbling.
--Take tiny portions. The first couple of bites give you the most
flavor, plus taking small portions encourages you to actually focus on
what you're tasting at any given moment.
- - - - -
GIVE THANKS
Being grateful is good for you!
"Reader's Digest" reports on recent research showing that people who
have a consciously grateful attitude -- expressing thanks freely --
experience a number of positive results. People who count their
blessings -- even those who just do so because they were directed to in
a study -- had fewer negative physical symptoms (such as headaches or
colds), exercised more, and had more positive attitudes overall.
In one study, the grateful group were perceived by others as being
happier and more positive thinking overall. Participants who were asked
to focus each day on something to appreciate (compared to those who
focused on a negative experience or simply recalled activities of the
day) were more energetic, enthusiastic, determined, joyful, got more
sleep, and were more likely to have helped someone else.
Showing gratitude influenced the recipients, as well -- one study found
that the receivers of small thank you gifts (in this case, small bags of
candy) were clearer and more methodical in their thinking following the
gift.
To up your gratitude quotient:
1. Keep a gratitude journal. At the end of the day write down three
things that happened that you appreciate, that lifted your spirits or
will contribute to your future happiness. Note who was responsible and
why the event matters to you.
2. Observe the patterns over time. Do particular people add a lot to
your life? How many of the up-lifting experiences did you initiate
yourself?
3. Seize the moment. As you learn to note positive things as they
happen, express your appreciation to others. By saying thanks, you
spread the benefit of your good feelings.
-------------------------------------
HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
-------------------------------------
SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lousy marriage makes you sick.
The "Archives of Internal Medicine" reports on a study of 9,011 British
civil servants that found that those with troubled close relationships
(including partners, close relatives and friends) were 34% more likely
to have heart trouble (including heart attacks) in the twelve years of
the study, compared to those with good relationships.
No dowry required -- in Ohio at least.
An Ohio judge has ruled that an Ohio man doesn't have to pay his former
wife a $25,000 dowry promised before their traditional Muslim wedding.
Though other states have upheld such dowries, the Ohio judged ruled that
the dowry is rooted in religious practice and therefore is a religious
act, not a legal contract on the marriage (which lasted two years).
Dating tips from a new matchmaker.
Recently in "O" magazine a woman reported on undergoing training to be
a matchmaker. Take some tips from what she learned: If you're too busy
to date, you're too busy for a commitment (and therefore not really
"matchmaking" material). The most common nonnegotiables for women are
"education (yes) and smoking (no)." In men's eyes the key requirement
is geographic proximity. On dates you should be an active listener,
asking follow-up questions. Look your date in the eye. Do not talk
about any recent breakups. Have clean teeth -- and smile.
Healthiest dating activity.
What do we all say we need more of and don't have time for? Exercise!
And one of the best exercises you can do for overall health is also a
great date activity -- even a first date: Go for a walk. A recent
study found that moderate to high-intensity walking resulted in the most
improvement in health. From a dating point of view, walking provides a
terrific opportunity for talk, because side-by-side is less threatening
than face-to-face. Walk in a park, a neighborhood, along a lakeside --
and get to know each other better!
Best phone for dating.
Singles expert Harlan Jacobsen says you should think of your first few
phone conversations as "dates" -- key steps in getting to know each
other. So you want the best possible phone connection. For that, you
need a landline phone. Corded phones don't have the echo or static that
cell and cordless phones can have. "Vitality" magazine suggests that if
you must use a cellphone for important calls, be sure the phone is fully
charged and stay where the signal is strong.
Quotable.
"Be thankful for what you have -- you'll end up having more." Oprah
Winfrey.
========================================================
Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
========================================================
Tis the season of free entertainment
by Janet L. Jacobsen, from the book “Dating Success -- 45 Proven
Pointers,”
Parks, churches, even shopping malls schedule an array of free
concerts, programs, and performances. These go well with a dinner date.
Holiday light displays abound, both commercial and at private homes.
Many local newspapers publish a list of the best Christmas lights.
Bring hot chocolate for driving around to look at lights; afterward stop
for dessert.
Grownups visit Santa too. Half the fun of this as a date is watching
the little kids while you stand in line. And the photo of the two of
you with Santa is a fun gift for a friend or casual date.
Volunteer together. Soup kitchens, food distribution programs,
agencies that provide gifts to children all have uses for two to three
hours of your time. Working on something meaningful together builds
bonds.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Give the Gift of Happier Dating!
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
How to connect with interesting people
How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
A great gift for all your single friends!
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, Box 9666 Dept. E, Scottsdale AZ
85252-9666. Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Limited time offer: Order today and receive FREE Dr. Jacobsen’s
audiocassette “How to Meet People.”
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
How Stewing Over a Lost Love Can Cook Your Goose
by Janet L. Jacobsen
Romances end, and the person who doesn't experience a little heartbreak
-- even when they initiated the breakup -- is a cold heart indeed.
However, pining away for a lost love -- especially when it's been some
time since the relationship ended -- can be downright unhealthy, and
keeping you from moving on to new relationships.
The unreality show
One danger is that when we're away from our partner, we can fall into
the trap of idealizing the relationship -- focusing on the positive
only, or interpreting things as positive that wouldn't necessarily look
so good if we were dealing with them close up.
For example, one recent study compared long-distance relationships that
had moved close together with relationships that lived near each other
throughout the time. The study found that even for couples who were
looking forward to living near each other, long distance relationships
were twice as likely to break up after moving nearer together. The
researchers attributed this in part to the "idealized" view the partners
had of each other -- a view that was bound to lead to disappointment
when met by day-to-day realities.
In the same way, a relationship that's fading into the past can look
better and better in retrospect, so much so that people in our everyday
lives can't hope to compare.
Thinking makes it so
Recently researchers at the University of Victoria (Canada) assessed
how people's thinking about relationships that had ended within the past
year related to their adjustment.
They looked at "rumination" -- the kinds of repetitive thoughts the
person had about the relationship. Reflection involves trying to
understand what happened and move forward, "trying to come to terms with
an event and lay it to rest." Brooding relates to "woe is me" feelings,
preoccupation is dwelling on the details of a specific event, and
regrets are sorrow over past events.
The study considered people's general style of thinking -- their
day-to-day patterns of rumination -- as well as their thoughts about the
past relationship itself. They compared these with the participants'
general levels of distress, anxiety and depression as a measure of
overall life adjustment.
They found that those emphasizing reflective thinking were more likely
to be better adjusted than those who were primarily preoccupied,
regretful or brooding about the relationship.
In other words, the ways in which we think about the relationship after
the breakup influence our ability to "get over" the relationship. In
fact, the researchers suggest that for some people, continuing negative
thoughts about the relationship may be a way to keep the relationship
"alive."
Moving on
When it comes to recovering from a romance, then, research supports
Shakespeare's line in Hamlet, "There is nothing either good or bad but
thinking makes it so."
The idea is not to give up on thinking over a past relationship, but
instead to take control of the way we think about it. We need to move
on from "poor me" and constantly going over the details, to the more
reflective approach of a general understanding of what happened and how
we can move on with our lives.
Satchel Paige was talking about age when he said it's "mind over
matter; if you don't mind, it don't matter," but the same applies (in
the long run) to the end of a relationship.
As sorry as we may be to see a relationship end, we'll lead better,
healthier lives and move in to new relationships if we take to heart the
advice of Alfred Lord Tennyson, "'Tis better to have loved and lost,
than never to have loved at all."
------------------------------------
Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
---------------------------------------
FUN THINGS TO DO in NOVEMBER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Veterans Day, Sunday, November 11. Look for programs and tributes in
various venues, Friday (9th) thru Monday (12th).
How is it that sinking ships and lost lives are somehow romantic?
"Titanic: The artifact exhibition" runs Nov. 10 to May 4, '08, at the
Arizona Science Center, 600 E. Washington in Phoenix. 10-5 daily. Adm.
$20 nonmembers, $10 members. (Since membership is $70 and gets you 2
admissions year round, romantics should get a membership!)
602-716-2028.
Talk about capturing the moment! "Seeing the Unseen: Photographs by
Harold E. Edgerton," on exhibit at the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary
Art (SMoCA), 7374 E. Second St., Sc., through Dec. 30, includes such
imperceptibles as a hovering hummingbird, and bullets shot through
various objects. Adm. $7. 480-994-2787.
Thru Nov. 17 bats are cracking at the Cactus League baseball stadiums
for the 16th annual Major League Baseball Fall League. Adm. $6; check
your nearest stadium for schedule. Championship game is Sat., Nov. 17,
12:35 pm, Scottsdale Stadium, 7408 E Osborn Rd.
Starting Thanksgiving weekend, it's the Christmas/holiday season, with
tree lightings, Santa visits, live music -- all coming to a city park
and/or shopping mall near you!
Arizona State Fair! Thru Nov. 4 at the State Fairgrounds, Phx. A great
value with lots of exhibits & entertainment -- including national acts.
Adm. $12, sr.55+ $6; on-site parking, $12. azstatefair.com.
Thru Nov. 18: 42nd annual Cowboy Artists of America exhibition, Phoenix
Art Museum, 1625 N. Central Ave., Phx. Adm. $10. www.phxart.org
602-257-1222.
Thur., Nov. 1: Wearable ArtWalk, downtown Scottsdale Arts District (5th
Ave., etc.). This week Scottsdale's Thursday Art Walk combines with
Fashion Week, featuring "models draped in avant garde art" strolling
Marshall Way. Open galleries and musical entertainment featured. Free.
6-9 pm. 480-990-3939.
Fri., Nov. 2: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10
pm. Free. Very popular event for singles, where about 10,000 people
stroll, look at art, see entertainment -- and each other. DASH bus
starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N.Central, Phx.
602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539.
Sat., Nov. 3: Desert Shrimp Festival, Community Center Park, Gila Bend.
Shrimp-eating contest, bobbing for shrimp, sand castle building.
928-683-2255.
Every Saturday, classic cars & motorcycles exhibited approx. 5 to 8:30
p.m. (or later) around McDonald's at the Scottsdale Pavilions, 9140 E.
Indian Bend Road, Scottsdale. Free. 480-991-6007 or 480=443-0080. For
other cruise-ins, see www.cruisinarizona.com.
Sat.-Sun., Nov. 3-4: 37th Annual Festival of the Arts, 101 Wigwam Way,
next to Wigwam Resort, Litchfield Park. 9 am to 5 pm. Free adm. Live
music, arts & crafts, food. 623-935-5053.
Sun., Nov. 4: Sundays, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert
Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam
trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737.
Tues, Nov. 6: Movie Tuesday movie discussion series, 5:30-7 p.m.
Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central,
Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636.
Wed., Nov. 7: Chandler Art Walk, first Wednesday, 5 to 9 p.m., downtown
Chandler, San Marcos Place and Boston Street, between Arizona Avenue and
Chandler Blvd. 5-9 pm. 480-206-5895.
Thur., Nov. 8: Every Thursday, El Pedregal Art Walk, Festival
Marketplace at the Boulders Resort, 34505 N. Scottsdale Rd. 7-9 pm.
Entertainment, demonstrations. Free. 480-488-1072.
Thur.-Sun., Nov. 8-11: Arizona Classic Jazz Festival, Crowne Plaza San
Marcos, 1 San Marcos Place, Chandler. Four venues of traditional jazz
and swing music, including dance floors! Admission charge.
480-620-3941. azclassicjazz.org
Fri.-Sun., Nov. 9-11: Fountain Festival of Arts & Crafts, Avenue of the
Fountains, Fountain Hills. Live music, entertainment, exhibits. Free
adm. www.FountainHillsChamber.com 480-837-1654.
Bluegrass Festival & Fiddle Championship, Boman Rodeo Grounds,
Wickenburg. 1-928-648-5479.
Fri.-Mon., Nov. 9-12: Wild West Days, Frontier Town, Cave Creek.
Entertainment. 480-437-1110.
Sat., Nov. 10: Live Music Festival, Boyce Thompson Arboretum, Superior,
AZ. 10-3. Entertainment and fall foliage. $7.50 adm. 520-689-2811.
Sat.-Sun., Nov. 10-11: 6th annual Spanish Market, Heard Museum, 2301 N.
Central Ave. Phx. Hispanic arts and culture in an outdoor exhibit and
market. 10-5. Free. 602-252-8848.
Sun., Nov. 11: Veterans Day Gourd Dance and Community Potluck, Pueblo
Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington St., Phx. 11-4. Gourd dancing begins
at 11:30. Bring a potluck dish to share. Free adm. 602-495-0901.
Second Sunday, Heard Museum Community Sunday, free admission at the
three Heard locations--2301 N. Central, Phx. (602-252-8840); 32633 N.
Scottsdale Rd., Sc. (480-488-9817); 16126 N. Civic Center Plaza,
Surprise (623-344-2200).
Mon., Nov. 12: Veterans Day Parades, such as downtown Tempe, Mill Ave.
to Beach Park (tempe.gov) and Phx., from VA Medical Center to North
Baptist Church, 480-496-9237.
Foothills Film Society monthly film series, Cactus Shadows Fine Arts
Center, 33606 N. 60th St., Scottsdale. Film "Best in Show," followed by
discussion, coffee and cake. 7 pm. Adm. $9 ($48 for series of 6).
480-488-1090.
Thurs., Nov. 15: That Thursday Thing, 6-9 pm, downtown and Murphy Park
in Glendale. Street performers, extended shopping hours. Free adm.
623-930-2299. Every third Thursday.
Fri., Nov. 16: Big-band swing night, Bookman's Entertainment Exchange,
8034 N. 19th Ave. Phx. Free. 7 pm. 602-433-0255, www.bookmans.com.
Sat., Nov. 17: 3rd annual Hedgpeth Hills Winter Festival, Deer Valley
Rock Art Center, 3711 W. Deer Valley Rd., Phx. Exhibits,
demonstrations, tours. 10-3. Free. 623-582-8007.
Chaparral Park Grand Opening, 5401 N. Hayden Rd., Scottsdale,
celebrates completion of the park, 1-3:30 pm. 480-312-2353.
Sat.-Sun., Nov. 17-18: Artfest of Scottsdale, Civic Center Plaza. Arts
& crafts, entertainment, food. Free adm. 1-888-278-3378.
Sun., Nov. 18: Silent Sundays features five silent comedy classics --
Harold Lloyd, Buster Keaton, Charles Chaplin, Charley Chase, Laurel &
Hardy -- with live theater organ music. 2:30 pm organ concert, movie at
3 p.m. Phoenix College Bulpitt Auditorium, 1202 W. Thomas, Phoenix.
Adm. $10. www.silentsundays.info.
Thur., Nov. 22: Thanksgiving! No family nearby? Hold a potluck with
friends!
Nov. 23 thru Dec. 23: Las Noches de Las Luminarias, Desert Botanical
Garden, Phx. Lighted pathways, live entertainment. $25 adm., advance
tickets recommended. 480-941-1225.
Sat., Nov. 24: APS Fantasy of Lights, Mill Ave., downtown Tempe. Tree
lighting, live entertainment, fireworks. downtownTempe.com.
Sat.-Sun., Nov. 24-25: Fall Foliage Finale Festival, Boyce Thompson
Arboretum, Superior, AZ. 11-3. Entertainment and "picture perfect"
fall foliage. $7.50 adm. 520-689-2811.
Sun., Nov. 25: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande
Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and
culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901.
Thurs., Nov. 29: Every Thurs., swing lessons and dance, Wrigley Mansion
Resort, 2501 E Telewa Trail, Phoenix. Lessons at 7:15 pm, 8 to
midnight, deejayed music. Dress: Resort casual. $10 adm. ($15 when
live music). 602-955-4079, 602-717-2787.
Fri.-Sat., Nov. 30-Dec. 1: Christmas Apple Festival, Community Center,
Willcox AZ. 1-800-200-2272.
|
|
 |
|
