|
Single Scene December newsletter
|
Janet Jacobsen
|
Nov 29, 2007 09:23 PST
|
SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 11-29-07 Issue 134
Copyright Single Scene 2007
http://www.azsinglescene.com
========================================================
I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Local Singles News!
** The Terrors of Mingling
** Got the holiday blues?
** How the holiday season can improve your social life
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- How many friends is too many?
-- Feminists make the best sweethearts.
-- When you and your cellphone are one.
** Fun Things to Do in December
~ ~ ~ ~ HAPPY HANUKKAH! ~ ~ ~ ~
* * * * MERRY CHRISTMAS! * * * *
---------------------------------------
For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
---------------------------------------
LOCAL SINGLES NEWS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Singles Dinner Dance Dec. 7
"Let's Do Christmas Together," the annual Christmas Gala dinner and
dance sponsored by Word of Grace First Call Singles, will be Friday,
Dec. 7, at 6:30 pm at the Windemere Hotel in Mesa. Tickets are $37 and
available thru Dec. 2 only; no ticket sales at the door. For
information call Susan Knapp at 480-464-3967 weekdays.
Group aids single moms with cancer
Singleton Moms is a Phoenix-area support group to assist with every day
family chores for single moms who have been diagnosed with cancer. The
“Arizona Republic” reports that the two-year-old nonprofit organization
was founded in memory of single mom Michelle Singleton, who died of
cancer at age 32. For information on the group, call Andy Royal
(480-459-0472) or Jody Berens (602-743-8873).
"Grief and Loss Retreat" Dec. 7-9
Designed for anyone experiencing grief over the death of a loved one, a
Grief and Loss Retreat will be offered Dec. 7-9 at the Franciscan
Renewal Center, 5802 E Lincoln Dr., Scottsdale. Led by Sheila Ringgold
Marchetta, MA, and Mauro Pando, MC, the retreat covers the grief process
and ways to heal. Check-in is 5 pm Friday, with dinner at 6; the
retreat concludes after lunch on Sunday. The $135 fee, double-occupancy
($175 single) includes lodging, meals and materials. For information
contact the Renewal Center at 480-948-7460.
---------------------------------------
Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up
for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to
dating_agai-@topica.com. It’s informative and it’s free!
---------------------------------------
The TERRORS of MINGLING
How to manage holiday parties when you hardly know a soul
“The New York Times” described it as “Jingle bells, mingle hell” -- the
abundance of holiday parties and the discomfort of handling unfamiliar
social territory.
That includes company or client holiday parties, invites from friends of
friends, and being hauled along to get-togethers as someone you barely
know’s date.
The primary anxiety, says the Times, is “social phobia” — fear of not
knowing how to interact with strangers.
“At parties,” says one expert, “you have to remember that no one is
thinking about you.” In other words, nearly everyone else is just as
terrified, so you might as well relax. Other pointers:
~Plan an opening line, such as “How is your holiday season going?” If
the person isn’t responsive, move on.
~You can start by introducing yourself. If you know hardly anyone
there, say so.
~“Don’t be a barnacle” — no more than fifteen minutes with one person.
The goal is to circulate.
~Avoid telling jokes.
~Don’t ask “What do you do?” when you’ve just met someone. It sounds
mercenary.
~Have a conversation escape plan. such as heading to the buffet or
restroom.
~If your eyes are going to scan the room, do it while you are talking.
When the other person is talking, pay attention.
========================================================
Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
========================================================
Got the holiday blues?
10 SPIRIT-LIFTERS
Whether you’re stressed out from having too much to do, or blue from
feeling left out of the goings-on, now is the time to take better care
of yourself.
Taking time for yourself actually makes you stronger and more capable of
handling the challenges that come your way. “Vitality” magazine offers
a number of pointers:
1. Reading biographies encourages self-reflection and can show you how
others have handled difficult times in their lives.
2. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, head outdoors. One study found
that after just 15 minutes outside, people felt more alert and focused.
For added benefits, get some time in the sun.
3. Boredom and unhappiness can go together. Set a difficult but
attainable goal. When you achieve it, set another. “A sense of
accomplishment leads to contentment.”
4. Exercise lifts your mood by influencing the chemicals in your blood
stream. Climb the stairs for five minutes or take a ten minute brisk
walk. Research shows that over time a regular exercise routine cuts
depression as effectively as antidepressants.
5. To reduce negative self-talk, stand on one leg. Your brain will
eliminate distractions in order to concentrate on keeping your balance.
6. A long hot shower or soaking in a warm bathtub can wash away
stress.
7. Clutter clogs your mind. If you’ve got some extra time, sort out
and donate or throw away “stuff” you don’t need or use.
8. Need to work off some aggressions? Popping bubble wrap can lower
your heart rate and blood pressure.
9. If things are worrying you, make a list, then mark which you have
actual control over and which you don’t. Let go of worrying about what
you can’t control.
10. Plan a “date night” with yourself. (If your plan includes tv,
skip violent programs and the news.) Instead of stressing out about
what you “should” be doing, concentrate on relaxing, then getting a good
night’s sleep.
-------------------------------------
HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
-------------------------------------
SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Friends is Too Many?
A recent “Wall Street Journal” article questioned whether having large
numbers of "friends" on social networking sites actually harms your
real-life relationships. A research study in1993 estimated that most
people have a ceiling of about 150 social contacts. While technology
may appear to push that number, experts note that spending time online
to interact with large numbers of people can weaken "close
relationships" -- defined as people you turn to when in severe distress.
Feminists Make the Best Sweethearts.
A recent study by Rutgers University of 513 college students and 471
adults ages 18-65 found that women who consider themselves feminists are
more likely to be in romantic relationships than those who do not.
Self-identified feminists were as likely as non-feminists to be
heterosexual and to consider themselves attractive. Women in a
relationship with a man with feminist thinking had the healthiest
relationships in terms of quality, equality, stability, and sexual
satisfaction, compared to women in relationships with non-feminist men.
Men in relationships with female feminists had greater sexual
satisfaction and greater relationship stability, and the same equality
and stability as men with non-feminist women.
Your Tummy Likes Chocolate.
A recent Swiss study, published in the “Journal of Proteome Research,”
found that people who crave chocolate have somewhat different stomach
microbes than people who don't. (People naturally have trillions of
bacteria in the stomach and intestines.) Apparently the
chocolate-loving bacteria are pretty common -- the study was delayed a
year until the researchers could find eleven men who didn't eat
chocolate.
When You and Your Cellphone Are One.
Some people now experience cellphone separation anxiety, according to a
recent Associated Press story. "Many mobile-phone addicts and
BlackBerry junkies report feeling vibrations when there are none, or
feeling as if they're wearing a cellphone when they're not." One
researcher attributes this to fear of isolation and rejection; the brain
becomes overly attuned to scanning for someone to respond to, leading to
a feeling of not being "whole" without the phone.
Quotables.
“A clear conscience is a continual Christmas.” Benjamin Franklin.
“A hug is a perfect gift for Christmas; one size fits all and it’s
easily returned.” Evelyn Beilenson, quoted in “Guideposts” magazine.
------------------------------------
Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
---------------------------------------
How the Holiday Season Can Improve Your Social Life
by Janet L. Jacobsen, from the book “Dating Success - 45 Proven
Pointers”
Many singles seem to disappear from the social scene between
Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some really are busy with the extra holiday
demands of work and family. Others stay home because a) they think
everyone is busy except them or b) they don't want people to think they
aren’t busy.
Yet many singles actually find themselves with more time than usual
during the holidays, since friends may be unavailable for regular
activities, or the children may be away visiting the other parent.
The holidays offer ways to actually reduce the stress of dating. One
problem in first dates is the perceived pressure to spend money, and the
resulting sense of obligation by the other person. During the holidays
many of the logical date ideas are inexpensive. Most communities offer
a great number of free or inexpensive events -- choral programs,
community pageants, and elaborately decorated neighborhoods, for
instance.
Many shopping malls will have almost continual entertainment and
imaginative decoration. Window shopping can be a fun date in a
wonderfully decorated shop or mall, provided you don’t wind up feeling
pressured to buy each other gifts. For a window shopping date, plan a
stop for coffee or dessert after the mall walk; the time in the
restaurant comes to an easier end than calling a halt to wandering the
stores.
Also, because of the assumed time pressures of the holidays, it’s a good
season to ask for “short” dates (which are the most likely to be
accepted any time of the year, actually). Let the person know you're
only expecting a short time together. Meet at a busy mall for hot
chocolate and window shopping. Browse a crafts fair together. Have pie
and coffee mid-afternoon on Saturday at a cozy cafe.
Be sure you honor the time agreement; don’t act dejected when they say
they have to go. On the other hand, if you’re both having so much fun
you want to stretch out the time, it’s fine, but don’t assume that’s
going to happen, and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t.
Don’t take it personally if the object of your interest doesn’t have a
lot of free time just now. If they say, “I’ll have a lot more time
after Christmas,” by all means give them a call on the 26th.
The holidays offer a good time to expand your social circle by giving a
party. You can invite relatively casual acquaintances who you’d like to
get to know better to “drop in” on a particular afternoon or evening.
But be sure to invite long-time friends too, especially those you know
will show up and stay awhile, since the stress of who -- if anyone --
will actually show up can spoil the day for you.
Take advantage of the “free time” many people have between Christmas and
the New Year. Some folks have the whole week free, and it’s a time when
very few public activities are scheduled, for some reason. Make dates,
give a party, organize some recreation like sledding or cross-country
skiing.
If you take advantage of its many opportunities, the holiday season can
be very good for your social life.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Give the Gift of Happier Dating!
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
How to connect with interesting people
How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
A great gift for all your single friends!
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, Box 9666 Dept. E, Scottsdale AZ
85252-9666. Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Limited time offer: Order today and receive FREE Dr. Jacobsen’s
audiocassette “How to Meet People.”
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
FUN THINGS TO DO in DECEMBER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Holiday lights are everywhere. Plan a neighborhood tour -- the “Arizona
Republic” website has a map of specially lighted homes. Or head to one
of the "major" exhibits, like Zoo Lights (6-10 pm, Phoenix Zoo, thru
Jan. 6, adm. $8) or Glendale Glitters (downtown Glendale, free; includes
entertainment on weekends). In either case, afterward go for hot
chocolate and dessert.
Snow falls at 6 and 7 pm every Friday and Saturday thru Dec. 22 in the
courtyard at the Borgata, west side of Scottsdale Rd., south of Lincoln
Drive.
Thru Dec. 23: Las Noches de Las Luminarias, Desert Botanical Garden,
Phx. Lighted pathways, live entertainment. $25 adm., advance tickets
recommended. 480-941-1225.
Thru Dec. 30, "Seeing the Unseen: Photographs by Harold E. Edgerton,"
is on exhibit at the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art (SMoCA), 7374
E. Second St., Sc. It includes such imperceptibles as a hovering
hummingbird, and bullets shot through various objects. Adm. $7.
480-994-2787.
Fri., Nov. 30-Sun., Dec. 2: 39th annual Tempe Fall Festival of the
Arts. On Mill Avenue & side streets in downtown Tempe, hundreds of
thousands attend this combination arts & crafts fair and entertainment
extravaganza, with multiple stages. 10 a.m. to dusk. All free! Info
480-921-2300.
Sat., Dec. 1: APS Electric Light Parade. 7 pm, on Central Ave. from
just south of Bethany Home to Camelback, east to 7th St., then south to
Indian School. Free. Attracts hundreds of thousands of spectators.
602-262-4627.
Tues., Dec. 4: Every Tuesday is free night at Phoenix Art Museum
(donations appreciated), from 3 to 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central.
602-257-1880.
Wed., Dec. 5: Happy Hanukkah!
Thurs., Dec. 6: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave.
area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939.
Sat, Dec, 8: APS Fantasy of Lights Boat Parade, Tempe Town Lake.
Activities in the Tempe Beach Park begin at 4 pm, boat parade at 7. The
90-minute procession of 50+ boats circle the lake starting from the
north side marina, followed by fireworks. Free. Info 480-921-2300.
Sat.-Sun., Dec. 8-9: 31st Annual Pueblo Grande Indian Market, Steele
Indian School Park, 300 E. Indian School, Phoenix. Arts, crafts, live
entertainment, Native American foods. Admission $8. Info 602-495-0901.
Mon., Dec. 10: Foothills Film Society monthly film series, Cactus
Shadows Fine Arts Center, 33606 N. 60th St., Scottsdale. Film "Joyeux
Noel," followed by discussion, coffee and cake. 7 pm. Adm. $9.
480-488-1090.
Sat., Dec. 15: Every Saturday, classic cars & motorcycles exhibited
approx. 5 to 8:30 p.m. (or later) around McDonald's at the Scottsdale
Pavilions, 9140 E. Indian Bend Road, Scottsdale. Free. 480-991-6007 or
480-443-0080. For other cruise-ins, see www.cruisinarizona.com.
Thurs., Dec. 20: That Thursday Thing, 6-9 pm, downtown and Murphy Park
in Glendale. Street performers, extended shopping hours. Free adm.
623-930-2299. Every third Thursday.
Tues., Dec. 25: Merry Christmas!
Fri., Dec. 28: 30th Fiesta Bowl National Band Championship, University
of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale. Begins at 1 pm, finals at 6 pm, featuring
bands from around the US.
Sat., Dec. 29: Fiesta Bowl Parade, 11 a.m. on Central Ave. from just
south of Bethany Home to Camelback, east to 7th St., then south to
Indian School. More than 100 entries, including floats and bands from
around the US. Attracts hundreds of thousands of spectators. You'll
need to be early to find a good spot!
Mon., Dec. 31: New Year's Eve! Tempe's downtown Block Party is
considered one of the major New Year's Eve events in the nation. Free.
4 pm to 12:15 a.m., includes fireworks. Mill Ave. and Tempe Beach Park.
The Party pairs with the 19th annual Insight Bowl football game at Sun
Devil Stadium at 3:30 pm.
|
|
 |
|
