|
Single Scene January newsletter
|
Janet Jacobsen
|
Dec 28, 2007 21:50 PST
|
SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 12-28-07 Issue 135
Copyright Single Scene 2007
http://www.azsinglescene.com
========================================================
I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Local Singles News!
** Ten Easy Ways to Enjoy Life More in the New Year
** Why Your Cellphone Should Come in Second
** Meeting through the personals -- Some Restrictions Apply
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Friends first versus love at first sight.
-- Rise of sexually transmitted diseases.
-- How can you tell if you're a jerk?
** Fun Things to Do in January
~ ~ ~ ~ HAPPY NEW YEAR! ~ ~ ~ ~
LOCAL SINGLES NEWS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birds Nest is Major Mingling Event
At the FBR Open golf tournament Jan. 28 to Feb. 3 (Tournament Players
Club, 17020 N. Hayden Rd., Scottsdale), the attraction for area singles
is not so much the golf pros as the after-hours entertainment events
called the Birds Nest, 3:30 to 10 pm, Jan. 30 to Feb. 2. The parties
feature major local and national bands. Admission is $25. 602-870-0163.
Singles Fair & Ball in Phoenix Saturday, February 16
The 16th annual Singles Fair and Ball will be held Saturday, February
16, 2008, sponsored by Calculated Couples. With the huge growth of the
west valley, the event has moved to a more central location: The Grand
Ballroom of the Embassy Suites Hotel, at Greenway and the I-17, in
Phoenix.
The Singles Fair, from 6 to 8pm, includes a psychic, free personal ads,
author lectures, seminars, raffles, prizes... and more! The “Second
Chance Valentine's Dance” starts at 8 pm. Admission for the entire
evening is $20; each event alone is $15. For additional information
visit cupidhelp.com.
Singles organizations, and businesses interested in the singles market,
can get exhibitor info and registration online at
cupidhelp.com/exhibitors.
---------------------------------------
Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up
for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to
dating_agai-@topica.com. It’s informative and it’s free!
---------------------------------------
Easy Ways to Enjoy Life More in the New Year
by Janet L. Jacobsen
New Year's resolutions can be discouraging because they are too easily
broken. Trying out some new ways of thinking and doing is an instant
success because just the giving it a try is a win!
Below are some tips for a happier you in the new year, most from
"Vitality" magazine:
1. Get a handle on where your time goes. Keep track for a week of how
you spend your non-work time. (In this way I discovered I was spending
way too much time in the car and did more to combine or eliminate
trips.)
2. Do what you love. Spend some of your leisure on things you REALLY
enjoy. Not sure what those are? Think back to when you were a kid.
What was fun then can still be fun now.
3. Do for its own sake. As adults we may focus a bit too much on what
we get OUT of something and forget the joy of doing the thing itself.
Kids ride bikes, play games and hang out with each other just because
it's FUN -- which is a good enough reason!
4. Time for a pet? In addition to the companionship, pet owners
experience a number of health benefits. They tend to have lower
cholesterol and triglyceride levels than non-pet-owners, as well as
fewer headaches or stomach aches and less insomnia.
5. Get a tune-up! Odds are your car gets a checkup more often than
you do. If it's been a while since you saw a dentist or had an "annual"
physical, get it scheduled. Don't know who to see? Ask friends,
neighbors and coworkers for recommendations.
6. Get a tiny bit more exercise. If you need more activity, look for
mini-exercise you can build into your day. Look for a parking place
mid-way from the door, instead of close. One company forbids employees
to take the elevator if they're going only one or two stories; make that
a personal policy.
7. Get some sleep. Most adults need seven to eight hours of sleep.
Not getting enough sleep messes with your mood and your health. Don't
set the alarm on weekends. Squeeze in naps.
8. Know yourself. The PsychologyToday.com website has free self-tests
in the areas of career, health, IQ, personality, and relationships
(including your communication skills and whether you're a romantic or a
cynic).
9. Eat less, and more. Radical dietary changes are hard to maintain.
Small changes can have big benefits. For your favorite foods, cut
portion sizes. (I switched from two scoops of ice cream to one.) If you
usually order the "large," switch to the medium. Share that order of
fries or the appetizer. Then increase your healthy alternatives: Now
and then start with soup instead of an appetizer; order a side of
vegetables instead of fries.
10. Don't postpone happiness. If you're inclined to think "I'll be
happy when....," research suggests you're wrong. Turns out income is
not related to happiness, so don't expect that making more money will
make you happier. Research also says that being in a relationship
doesn't increase happiness; there's a little boost at the beginning, but
then people return to their "normal" level of happiness. Instead learn
to identify small things each day to be happy about and develop the
habit of being happy.
========================================================
Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
========================================================
SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You gotta have friends.
A University of Chicago study, reported in "Current Directions in
Psychological Science," compared the effects of loneliness in college
students to those age 50 to 68. Loneliness didn't affect the health of
the students, but the older group had higher blood pressure, and more of
other health risks, as compared to people their own age who had more
active social lives.
Friends first versus love at first sight.
A study in the Netherlands of married and cohabiting couples (reported
in the "Journal of Social and Personal Relationships") found that
partners who fell in love at first sight and those who had developed
their relationship more gradually (including those who were "friends
first") all had similar relationship quality. The type of start of the
relationship had no effect on the length of the relationship. The
researchers found, however, that those who were friends first or who
fell in love at first sight had higher levels of commitment than did
acquaintances who fell in love "reasonably soon." Across all couples,
those who were "friends first" had the most similar personalities.
Rise of sexually transmitted diseases.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported
that 2006 saw an increase in new cases of sexually transmitted disease.
According to the Associated Press, gonorrhea rates increased in part
because of a new strain that resists common antibiotics. Chlamydia,
with 1,031,000 new cases reported, broke the single year recorded of new
cases of sexually transmitted disease set in 1978 by new gonorrhea
cases. However, much of the growth in chlamydia numbers is due to
better screening processes.
How can you tell if you're a jerk?
Recently the international business consulting firm McKinsey & Company
published a report on the negative effects of jerks in the workplace.
Among the behaviors they cited were personal insults; invading someone's
personal territory; uninvited physical contact; threats and
intimidation, verbal and nonverbal; being insulting through sarcastic
jokes or teasing; criticizing someone in front of others; rude
interruptions; dirty looks; and treating people as if they were
invisible. Such behaviors are seen as "jerkness" not just by the person
on the receiving end, but also by people who witness the behavior. An
additional word of caution: being a jerk can be "emotionally
contagious" -- in other words, if you hang around with jerks, you are
likely to become one.
Marriage rate falls, divorces steady.
According to a recent report by the National Center for Health
Statistics, for the twelve month period ending March '07, the marriage
rate per thousand population fell to 7.4, from 7.6 for the previous
year. The divorce rate for the same period held steady at 3.6 per
thousand population.
Quotable.
"They say marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and
lightning." Clint Eastwood.
Quotable.
"It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying
habits are gone." Merrill Markoe.
-------------------------------------
HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
-------------------------------------
Who Are You With?
On a date, why your cellphone should come in second
by Janet L. Jacobsen
My friend Wendy was in the audience at a large conferencewhen the
keynote speaker stopped mid-speech to take not one but two calls from
his children. The speaker presented this as a sign that he had his
priorities straight -- his kids always came first. The several thousand
people in the audience thought he was rude and ridiculous because he was
so disrespectful of their time.
This may be a trend. "USA Weekend" magazine reports that presidential
candidate Rudy Guiliani stopped a speech he was giving to the National
Rifle Association to take a cellphone call from his wife.
The reason these extreme behaviors are perceived as rude is because they
so blatantly say that these people consider their personal priorities
more important than the priorities of those around them.
They appear to have entered into a mutual agreement -- I will speak and
share with you useful/motivating information and you will listen and
learn -- but then the speaker fails to hold up their end of the bargain.
And while they're at it, they leave the audience with nothing to do
themselves except to overhear half of a conversation they didn't want to
have anything to do with in the first place.
So we have several social violations going on at once, and they are
essentially the same violations that occur when you are out on a date
with someone and nevertheless "take a call."
When your cellphone gets your attention over someone actually present,
1. you violate the perceived agreement -- I'm spending time with you
-- without making it clear in advance that the agreement has conditions.
In other words, you show the person that you can't be trusted to keep
agreements.
2. you tell the person that whoever is calling (or even anyone who
calls) is a higher priority than they are. (The objection "It might be
an emergency/important!" is trumped by the reality, "It's probably
NOT.") By making the person feel unimportant, you significantly reduce
their interest in you.
3. you waste the time of the here-and-now person in a situation where
they have absolutely no recourse; they're stuck, waiting for you. We
live in a time-oriented culture. By demonstrating that you don't value
the other person's time, you've said, indirectly but clearly, that you
don't value them.
Of course, if you're dating people you don't like, or you truly have no
interest in whether they like you, your cellphone can be the object of
your affection.
But if you some day would like the object of your affection to be a real
relationship with a real person who exists in real time and space with
you, one of these days you'll have to turn off the cellphone.
---------------------------------------
For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
---------------------------------------
Meeting through the personals--
Some Restrictions Apply
by Janet L. Jacobsen, from the book “Dating Success - 45 Proven
Pointers”
Personal ads can meet a variety of needs. When you’re the new kid in
town, or newly available, they can help you meet lots of interesting
people and kick your social life into high gear.
On the other hand, when your social life is chugging along but not
heading in the right direction, the carefully worded personal ad can
help you meet the one who's hard to find in a crowd.
But to reach these different goals requires different strategies.
When your goal is to meet a lot of new people, make your ad as broad as
possible. Tell the essentials about yourself, of course (age,
height/weight are musts), and give plenty of other information about
you. And put in only those restrictions that are absolute musts
(smoker/nonsmoker is usually one).
When you’re looking to make a lot of new friends, their hair color,
music preferences, and favorite sports are not particularly important;
give the information about yourself without making it a restriction on
others. You can say “You'll find me at the opera, in the library, and
playing chess” without saying “Intellectuals only!”
On the other hand, your goal may be to narrow down the search and what
you want is not so much lots of replies as one reply from a potential
Ms./Mr. Right. You still need to give lots of information about
yourself, but you can do more to limit who replies. For instance,
“Christian parent with old time family values seeks same.” Or “...wants
to meet '60s style liberal with jazz collection and motorcycle.” Or
“Must love dogs, backpacking, and beards.”
The more restrictions you put on who can answer your ad, the fewer
replies you're likely to get. But that could be just the strategy you
want.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
WHY MAKE TYPICAL DATING MISTAKES?
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
How to connect with interesting people
How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, Box 9666 Dept. E, Scottsdale AZ
85252-9666. Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
FUN THINGS TO DO in JANUARY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Holiday lights remain into January in many locations. Zoo Lights is
6-10 pm at the Phoenix Zoo, thru Jan. 6, adm. $8. Glendale Glitters
continues through Jan. 19 (downtown Glendale, free; includes
entertainment on weekends).
It's "farmers' market" season and there's one just about every day of
the week somewhere in the Valley. Shop together for the best in
seasonal produce; then improvise a meal together from your finds.
www.arizonafarmersmarkets.com.
Tues.-Sun. weekly: The Japanese Friendship Garden is a 3 1/2 acre park
at 1125 N. Third Ave., Phoenix. Now with extended hours, open 10 a.m.
to 3 p.m., Tues.-Sun., except summer.
The Super Bowl cometh (Feb. 3). And bringeth abundant events and
entertainment throughout the Valley, as each community contends for
their share of fan wealth. Check with your local Chamber of Commerce
for the events in your area throughout January.
Spring training is coming! Not til the end of February, actually, but
season tickets go on sale in early January. Check with the stadium
nearest you.
Mon., Dec. 31: New Year's Eve! Tempe's downtown Block Party is
considered one of the major New Year's Eve events in the nation. 4 pm
to 12:15 a.m., includes fireworks. Mill Ave. and Tempe Beach Park. The
Party pairs with the 19th annual Insight Bowl football game at Sun Devil
Stadium at 3:30 pm.
Wed., Jan. 2: Chandler Art Walk, 5 to 9 p.m., downtown Chandler, San
Marcos Place and Boston Street, between Arizona Avenue and Chandler
Blvd. 5-9 pm. 480-206-5895.
Fri., Jan. 4: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10
pm. Free. Very popular event for singles, where about 10,000 people
stroll, look at art, see entertainment -- and each other. DASH bus
starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx.
602-253-5000 ext. 1 or 602-256-7539.
Sat., Jan. 5: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock
Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-?
623-374-5794.
Sun., Jan. 6: Sunday A'Fair, free afternoons of live entertainment and
arts and crafts exhibits at the Scottsdale Civic Center Mall, downtown
Scottsdale. Every Sunday thru April 6 (except Jan. 27, Feb. 3, March 9,
16). Info 480-994-2787.
Mon., Jan. 7: Movie Mondays, every Monday 1:30 pm, Heard Museum,
featuring the best of film making by and for Native people. 2301 N.
Central, Phoenix. Adm. $10. 602-252-8848.
Sat., Jan. 12 - Sun., Jan. 20: Barrett-Jackson Classic Car Auction. So
what if you aren't going to be bidding on a vintage auto? You can ogle
the cars, watch the 4,000+ bidders and thousands of spectators, and shop
300 vendors for all things auto. WestWorld, 16601 N. Pima Rd.,
Scottsdale. Info 480-421-6694.
Sat., Jan. 12 thru Sun., April 20: If you love dramatic photography,
celebrities, and/or fashion, you'll want to see the Richard Avedon photo
exhibit at the Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 N. Central, Phoenix. Adm. $10.
602-257-1222.
Sun., Jan. 13: PF Chang's Rock 'n Roll Marathon, parts of central
Phoenix, south Scottsdale and north Tempe, ending at Tempe Beach Park.
Live bands perform at every mile mark. Pick a corner near you
(www.rnraz.com) and go to cheer on the runners while listening to the
music.
Mon., Jan. 14: Foothills Film Society monthly film series, Cactus
Shadows Fine Arts Center, 33606 N. 60th St., Scottsdale. Film "American
Splendor," followed by discussion, coffee and cake. 7 pm. Adm. $9.
480-488-1090.
Wed.-Sun., Jan. 16-20: Russo & Steel Auto Auction, southeast corner of
Loop 101 Freeway and Scottsdale Rd. Here the specialty is sport, muscle
and street rod collector cars. 602-252-2697.
Thurs., Jan. 17: That Thursday Thing, 6-9 pm, downtown and Murphy Park
in Glendale. Street performers, extended shopping hours. Free adm.
623-930-2299. Every third Thursday.
Sun., Jan. 20: Every Sunday, Movies at the Museum: foreign,
independent, and classic films, some for mature audiences. Phoenix Art
Museum, 1625 N. Central Avenue, Phoenix. 2 pm. Museum adm. $9.
602-257-1222.
Fri., Jan. 25: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg.,
H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views.
480-965-7652.
Fri., Jan. 25 - Sat., Feb. 2: Sun Country Circuit quarter horse show,
with competitive riders from around the world. Free admission.
WestWorld, 16601 N. Pima Rd., Scottsdale. Info 480-419-6318.
Sun., Jan. 27: Silent Sundays features Lillian Gish in "True Heart
Susie" with live theater organ music. 2:30 pm organ concert, movie at 3
p.m. Phoenix College Bulpitt Auditorium, 1202 W. Thomas, Phoenix. Adm.
$10. www.silentsundays.info.
------------------------------------
Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
---------------------------------------
|
|
 |
|
