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Single Scene July newsletter
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Janet Jacobsen
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Jun 29, 2008 20:11 PDT
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SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 6-29-08 Issue 141
Copyright Single Scene 2008
http://www.azsinglescene.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Dating service charged with consumer fraud
** Quick dating pointer! Choosing a Restaurant
** The Perils of Co-owning When Co-habitating
** Make your vacation an opportunity to meet new people
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Go west, young woman.
-- What she says, what she means.
-- How to make a great first impression.
-- Another reason men need female friends.
** Fun Things to Do in July
LOCAL NEWS
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Dating service charged with consumer fraud
WHAT TO RESEARCH BEFORE YOU SIGN UP
According to local news media, the Arizona Attorney General has filed a
civil suit against a Scottsdale-based company, doing business as Great
Expectations for Singles, for violating consumer fraud rules. The
reports include several issues that singles should research before using
any dating service or matchmaking firm.
Consumer fraud
Alleged illegal practices include
* misrepresenting the number of current and new members joining each
month, including showing profiles and photos of people who were not
clients or not available for dating.
* misrepresenting the number of marriages occurring between members.
* using high-pressure sales tactics, including hours-long
presentations.
* unlawfully obtaining consumers' credit card information before the
person had agreed to purchase a membership.
* falsely representing that the company would help the client prepare a
profile or select dates.
* falsely representing that criminal background checks were conducted
on all members.
* pressuring consumers who wanted time to think about purchasing a
membership into making a "deposit" which in fact obligated them to buy a
membership.
Memberships cost $6995 for one year, $7195 for three years, and $7495
for six years, although $1000 discounts were available in all
categories.
Protect yourself
How can you protect yourself if you are considering using a dating or
matchmaking service? While it can be hard to combat outright fraud,
there are some steps you can take:
1. Know your local consumer regulations for such purchases before
you have contact with any such company's sales staff. Know your rights.
2. Contact both the Better Business Bureau and the Attorney
General's office to see if there are current complaints against the
firm.
3. Ask other singles, especially leaders of singles groups and
organizations, about what they have heard about the firm, and whether
they know of any past customers you can contact.
4. Ask for references from the firm so that you can speak to
satisfied past customers. A service creating many happy marriages and
relationships should have people willing to give testimonials.
5. Ask for the name of the company doing background checks and
follow up to determine if they are actually doing such work for the
firm.
6. Don't sign anything on the first visit. Take the contract with
you and look it over thoroughly.
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Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up
for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to
dating_agai-@topica.com. It’s informative and it’s free!
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Quick dating pointer!
CHOOSING A RESTAURANT
For first dates, picking a restaurant that's familiar and comfortable
for both parties reduces the stress of the date so you can focus on
getting acquainted and not on how to cope with the restaurant.
If you're the adventurous type, for any date after the first you can
pick restaurants that are new to you both. It keeps the date
interesting for you, and gives you clues on how the other person handles
the unfamiliar.
If you're adventurous and you know your date isn't, let them suggest a
restaurant that they know but is new to you. They'll be more relaxed in
familiar surroundings and you'll learn how helpful they're inclined to
be in situations when they have the advantage.
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Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Go west, young woman.
According to a new book "Who's Your City?", Los Angeles has 90,000 more
single men than women. Greater New York, on the other hand, has 210,000
more single women than men. Cities with more single men than women are
predominantly in the west, including San Francisco, San Diego, Dallas,
Seattle, and Phoenix.
Fewer would date a coworker.
According to a survey by Spherion Corp., the percentage of U.S. workers
who would consider dating a fellow employee has dropped from 42% in 2005
to 39% in 2007. An article in the "South Florida Sun-Sentinel" reports,
however, that there is now less fear that a workplace romance will hurt
one's career, although supervisor/subordinate relationships are still a
major no-no. Some tips for office dating: Don't send flowers to the
office. Keep it quiet; people will know about it, but don't make it a
topic of your own conversations. Remember that business rules apply
even in social situations; be all business, even at business-related
social events. Be professional if the relationship fails; don't vent
feelings or let the breakup affect your job performance.
What she says, what she means.
"Men's Health" magazine offers these "translations" for understanding
women: 1. If she casually mentions some unfulfilled interest ("I've
been dying to see that movie"), it could be an invitation to ask her
out. 2. "I have a boyfriend but he lives in Rome." The qualifier
"but" suggests she MIGHT be open to change. Rather than ask for a date,
find less formal ways of getting acquainted: Ask for her help shopping;
encourage her to attend some group activity you'll be attending.
How to make a great first impression.
Recently "USA Weekend" magazine offered some useful pointers on how to
make the best first impression. 1. Make eye contact. 2. Find common
ground. One way is to ask the other person's opinion on something
that's going on around you. 3. Be genuinely curious. Ask questions
about them, and then actually listen. 4. Take equal care when
"meeting" by phone. Speak clearly, and always ask first if it's a good
time to talk. 5. Avoid being too relaxed in an e-mail "introduction."
When writing to someone you don't know, treat e-mail as a letter:
greeting, body, closing. Avoid the lingo of text messaging.
Another reason men need female friends.
Several studies in the animal kingdom suggest that males who are
observed hanging out with females are considered more attractive than
lone males by other females, according to "Men's Health" magazine. Just
remember, when out with your female friends, to build in some solo
walking around time so interested women can approach you!
Doing something new builds confidence.
"Vitality" magazine reports that succeeding at something new boosts
your confidence. Take a class or get a friend or acquaintance to teach
you a new sport or hobby; an added advantage is you are likely to meet
new people when you expand your "circle" of activities.
Quotable.
"Marriage is a fantasy. Divorce tends to be a full-blown nightmare."
Syndicated columnist Susan Estrich.
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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The Perils of Co-owning When Co-habitating
Unmarried couples buying a home together are on the rise, according to a
recent Universal Press Syndicate article. But such arrangements have
special perils.
First, don't assume that buying the home will cement the relationship.
Cohabitating couples break up at an even higher rate than the divorce
rate.
"Make sure you're on the same page emotionally." Test your relationship
before buying together. Couples counseling can be helpful, or couples
classes and workshops. It's better to be sure you're emotionally
compatible before you make the down payment.
"Deal with money matters before hunting for a home." Have a frank
discussion about each person's personal finances: debts, credit
histories and money-management habits.
"Obtain a legal agreement to protect you if your relationship falls
through." Specify how the property will be dealt with if the
relationship ends.
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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‘TIS THE SEASON FOR SINGLES TRAVEL
Make your vacation an opportunity to meet new people
Travel, let's face it, is a great way to meet people. Maybe you feel
that you've exhausted the local supply of potential interesting and/or
available dates. Or you're thinking that a change of scene, and people,
would be a good way to jump-start your social life. Vacation time can
do that for you.
But while you're considering a jaunt to far away lands, remember that
nearby travel options can be just as interesting. And the people you
meet will be easier to see again!
Getting around the single supplement
Tour groups put you together with folks who share your interest in the
place or the activity. Tour operators and travel groups are recognizing
the value of the single adventurer.
According to a "USA Today" article, an AARP survey found that 25 million
singles age 42 and older will spend $28 billion on travel this year.
The study also learned that singles spend more per person than other
travelers.
One factor that in the past has increased tour costs for singles is the
so-called "single supplement" -- an extra charge for occupying hotel
rooms, etc. alone -- a charge that sometimes made costs larger than the
price of a room for two. But today's travel companies that want a piece
of the singles travel pie are rethinking the single supplement.
Some, according the "USA Today" story, have a large enough number of
single clients that they can pair same-sex roommates, and waive the
supplement when they can't. Other companies are waiving the supplement
or at least reducing the fee. For example:
--Tauck World Discovery (tauck.com) regularly waives or discounts the
single supplement on some trips.
--The Australia-based firm Intrepid Travel (intrepidtravel.com) offers
trips geared to singles, with no supplement charge.
--General Tours (generaltours.com) is waiving the single surcharge on
its 2008 European river cruises.
--Country Walkers (countrywalkers.com) offers certain trips with the
guarantee of a roommate.
Outdoor adventure for singles
"USA Weekend" magazine recently reported on travel companies with
outdoor-oriented trips geared to singles.
OARS offers single rafting trips on the Salmon River (Idaho) and the
Green River (Colorado). Hiking in Yosemite National Park is offer for
singles by the company World Outdoors. Backroads leads a singles
bicycle tour of California wine country.
Some companies focus on the travel interests of women, not necessarily
limiting participants to single women. Adventure Women offers Grand
Canyon rafting trips and horseback riding in Yellowstone. Country
Walkers leads a fall foliage tour in Vermont. REI Adventures has
women's backpacking trips in Joshua Tree National Park and rock climbing
in North Carolina.
To locate a range of singles travel options, lifetime membership in
Connecting: Solo Travel Network is $50.
Who's in the neighborhood?
Whether you want to break out of a vacation rut, or are looking to scale
down the cost of travel, thinking "local vacation" can offer great
opportunities for expanding your social life. You don't necessarily
need to travel to exotic lands. Just getting out of town might do it.
Or use your vacation time to connect with new groups of people at home.
Volunteering at home or in nearby towns is a good way to meet. Many
communities offer special events ("Watermelon Days!") that need
volunteers. You'll not only have the chance to get to know the other
volunteers (pre-event meetings may be required) but also the many folks
who attend.
City, state, local and national parks and monuments in your area are
likely to have short term volunteer needs as well. In addition to
special events, opportunities include volunteer "work days" -- for
instance, weeding at the arboretum -- and weekend or week-long education
programs.
A similar vacation opportunity for meeting local folks is to sign up for
a short-term class or project at a local college. There's likely to be
a local "dig" -- dinosaur bones, anyone? -- or historic preservation
project that combines education and field work. You will definitely get
to know your classmates.
If there's a nearby city or area where you'd like to spend some time,
volunteer for and plan your trip around an intensive short term project
through a national agency, such as home building with Habitat for
Humanity, or trail building with the Sierra Club. By starting with the
work project, you'll get to know locals who can give you good ideas on
the area's popular places to go and things to do for singles.
Where to stay
An advantage of "vacationing" at or near where you live is that you can
sleep at home. If you're going far enough away that being at home at
night isn't an option, avoid staying at a hotel. They tend to be very
difficult places to meet people. There are more sociable options, if
you do a bit of research.
If the place you want to visit has a "youth" hostel (they are rarely
limited to an age group), this will give you a low cost option for
meeting lots of other travelers, as well as connecting with the local
staff who will be excellent sources of information about what's going on
and what's of interest in the area. Often the staff are single
themselves.
Hostels are generally "dorm"-like environments, so you'll need to be
comfortable with rustic accommodation. And most hostels are closed for
a portion of the day; you're expected to be out seeing the world, after
all. You may also be expected to help with some small cleanup task;
these can actually help you meet more people -- like washing dishes
together.
At the other end of the price scale, staying at a bed and breakfast is
also a great way to connect with people, travelers and locals alike.
Generally breakfast is a shared experience for all the guests, plus the
"hosts" are great resources on the area. If you let them know when you
book your reservation that you are single and interested in local
singles activities and events, they are likely to do a bit of
information gathering for you before you get there.
With some thought and research, you can plan a vacation that suits your
pocketbook, gets you out of your routine, AND expands your social life.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
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How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
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FUN THINGS TO DO in JULY
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Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Thursdays (except July 3) the McDowell Sonoran Conservancy summer series
provides lectures on desert flora and fauna 6 pm through July 31 at
Scottsdale Community College, Loop 101 and Chaparral. Free. Info
480-998-7971, ext. 105.
Check your local libraries and parks for free movie showings; some
include post-film discussion groups.
With Independence Day on a Friday, look for fireworks, events and
activities from Thursday night, through the weekend. For example:
July 3, Maryvale Baseball Park, 3600 N. 51st Ave., 7 to 10 pm;
family games and fireworks.
July 4, 3rd annual "The Grand Ole' Fashioned Picnic" will be held 5
to 7:30 pm at Scottsdale Stadium, 7408 E Osborn Rd. Games, crafts and
food; you can bring your own picnic. 480-312-2771.
The biggest fireworks shows in the Valley on the 4th are Tempe Town
Lake, and Steele Indian School Park in Phoenix.
June 30-July 5: 121st annual Rodeo and Frontier Days, Prescott Rodeo
Grounds, Prescott. Rodeos, dances, street parade on July 5.
928-445-3103.
Tues., July 1: Every Tues., free night at Phoenix Art Museum
(donations appreciated), from 3 to 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central.
602-257-1880.
Wed., July 2: Chandler Art Walk, first Wednesday, 5 to 9 p.m., downtown
Chandler, San Marcos Place and Boston Street, between Arizona Avenue and
Chandler Blvd. 5-9 pm. 480-206-5895.
Fri.-Sun., July 4-6: Ride the chairlift at Sunrise Park Resort on the
White Mt. Apache Reservation (near Pinetop-Lakeside) for $10, 10 am. to
4 p.m. Info 800-772-7669, ext. 2303. www.sunriseskipark.com.
Sat., July 5: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock
Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-?
623-374-5794.
Sun., July 6: Every Sunday, Movies at the Museum: foreign,
independent, and classic films, some for mature audiences. Phoenix Art
Museum, 1625 N. Central Avenue, Phoenix. 2 pm. Museum adm. $9.
602-257-1222.
Summer Sundays in the Park, McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park, 7301 E
Indian Bend Rd., Scottsdale, 7:30-9 p.m. Free live music. Bring a
blanket or folding chairs. Also July 13. 480-312-2312.
Mon., July 7: Movie Mondays, every Monday 1:30 pm, Heard Museum,
featuring the best of film making by and for Native people. 2301 N.
Central, Phoenix. Adm. $10. 602-252-8848.
Thu., July 10: Scottsdale Summer Spectacular ArtWalk, downtown
Scottsdale (on Marshall Way and Main Street), 7-9 pm. Live
entertainment, food samples, gallery receptions and artist appearances.
Free. 480-990-3939.
Sun., July 13: Heard Museum Community Sunday, free admission at the
three Heard locations--2301 N. Central, Phx. (602-252-8840); 32633 N.
Scottsdale Rd., Sc. (480-488-9817); 16126 N. Civic Center Plaza,
Surprise (623-344-2200).
Thurs., July 17: That Thursday Thing, 6-9 pm, downtown and Murphy Park
in Glendale. Street performers, extended shopping hours. Free adm.
623-930-2299. Every third Thursday.
Fri., July 18: 33rd annual Mighty Mud Mania, where hundreds of kids
ages 1 to 17 get very very muddy in a variety of ways. 8:30 a.m. to 2
p.m., Chaparral Park, 5401 N. Hayden Rd., Scottsdale. You're probably
too old to splash but watching is great fun! Includes entertainment;
food available. 480-312-2704.
Full Moon Bat Program, Arboretum at Flagstaff, 4001 S. Woody Mt.
Rd., 6:30 to 8:30 pm. Educational program and guided viewing. $7
nonmembers.
Fri., July 25: Art Walk, downtown Prescott, 5 pm. Free.
4a-@artthe4th.com
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Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
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