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Single Scene August newsletter
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Janet Jacobsen
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Jul 29, 2008 22:07 PDT
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SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 7-29-08 Issue 142
Copyright Single Scene 2008
http://www.azsinglescene.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Alternative to the Dinner Date
** TRAVEL TIPS FOR SINGLES
-- Coupons for Restaurant Bargains
-- Safety Check-in for Singles
** How to find new places to meet people to date –
Two criteria you must consider
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Should you hold a divorce party?
-- Height vs finance.
-- Watermelon festival attendance will boom!
-- Pros spot dead-end weddings.
** Fun Things to Do in August
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Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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LOCAL NEWS
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Alternative to the Dinner Date: Happy hour appetizers
Happy Hour is on the rise as bars and restaurants work harder to get
your attention. This means discounted drinks, but it also means
half-priced or discounted appetizers, and in some cases, free buffets!
Recently the weekly "New Times" ran an article listing local happy hour
favorites, including those with discounted eats. Here's a sample from
their list and a few from our own. (Note: Happy hour days and hours
vary so call ahead. Where there's a bar and restaurant together, happy
hour prices generally apply in the bar only.)
Phoenix:
Cheuvront's, 1326 N. Central. 602-307-0022
McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant, 2575 E. Camelback.
602-468-1200
Oscar Taylor, 2375 E. Camelback, Phx. 602-954-5620
Va Bene, 4647 E. Chandler Blvd., Phx. 480-706-4070
Scottsdale:
Drift, 4341 N. 75th St. 480-949-8454
Sandbar, 10050 N. Scottsdale Rd. 480-998-8845
Stingray Sushi, 4302 N. Scottsdale Rd. 480-941-4460
Wildfish Seafood Grille, 715 E. Camelback. 480-994-4040
Tempe:
The Library Bar & Grill, 501 S. Mill Ave. 480-929-9002
San Felipe's Cantina, 2000 E Rio Salado Pkwy. 480-736-8226
Zuma Grill, 605 S. Mill Ave. 480-829-6775
East Valley:
Bistro at Kokopelli Winery, 35 W. Boston St., Chandler. 480-792-6927
CK's Tavern, 4142 E Chandler Blvd., Phx. 480-706-5564
West Valley:
Hurricane Bay, 4139 W. Bell Rd., Glendale. 602-843-6100.
Multiple locations: El Paso Bar-B-Que.
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TRAVEL TIPS FOR SINGLES
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Coupons for Restaurant Bargains
Here's how to save on restaurants when you're visiting in a city (or if
you live in one). Restaurant.com provides discount coupons for
restaurants, including some major chains. Search for eateries by
entering the area's zip code.
You pay a discounted fee online for a coupon which you print on your
computer. One traveler reported getting an $85 coupon for $11 during a
special sale. There is no registration fee, and registering gets you
email notice of special offers.
Single Supplement Issues
Recently a travel editor answered a single's questions regarding
dealing with the singles supplement (the added cost of being one person
in a room rather than two, especially on cruises and guided tours.)
First the editor cautioned that some cruise lines now charge double
port charges for singles as well. Singlescruise.com and
SinglesCruiseResource.com were recommended resources. Shop carefully
and compare fees.
If you've regularly used the same cruise line or tour group, point out
that you've been a faithful customer and ask that the fee be waived. Of
course, you have to actually be prepared to take your business elsewhere
if it isn't.
Safety Check-in for Singles
One disadvantage of living alone is that it may be awhile before
someone notices if you don't come home. Now a company called
safecheckin.com will follow up to be sure you're ok.
For $8.99 per month, they keep your physical description and emergency
phone numbers on file. You "check out" online when you're leaving home,
and indicate the time you'll be back. If you don't "check in" online as
expected, an employee first tries to call you, and follows up with your
designated contact number if they can't reach you.
While the site was originally designed for people who are traveling or
do outdoor activities such as hiking alone, members also use it when
they're gone on blind dates or even just out shopping.
Even singles who check in with friends and family regularly do not
always think to tell people where they've gone. An inexpensive way to
have peace of mind that someone would know where to look for you is to
keep a pad of paper near your phone or in some other place that friends
and family know about.
Then before you leave the house (on a blind date, let's say) simply jot
down the time you leave, where you're going, who you're meeting, and the
time you expect to be home.
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Height vs finance.
"Reader's Digest" recently cited a news item from "Wired" magazine and
called it an "argument starter." Seems that Wired reported that in
online dating, for a five-foot-eight man to get the same number of dates
as a six foot tall man, he must earn $146,000 more a year. (No word on
where in the ads the actual salary gets posted.)
Should you hold a divorce party?
Advice columnist Dennie Hughes was recently asked about the
appropriateness of "divorce parties." Events that involve "being
resentful, mocking the marriage, or bashing the ex" probably do more
harm than good, especially if children are involved, she said. But
events to celebrate the future and reconnect with friends can serve as a
"coming out" party. (Just leave the kids out of it.) If you need
something ceremonial to mark the end of the relationship, sell the ring
and donate the proceeds to charity. Or hold a "returning to my name"
event; put the emphasis on the positive and on the future.
Watermelon festival attendance will boom!
Recently reports have circulated that eating watermelon can have
similar effects to taking Viagra, because both relax blood vessels. The
news is based on research at Texas A&M. Those looking to get a boost
from watermelon should note that the study said that you'd need to eat
about six cups of watermelon to increase the necessary amino acids, and
the results aren't long lasting.
More single dad households.
According to a report from the Center for Economic and Policy Research
in Washington, the number of children living with a single dad increased
74.1 percent between 1990 and 2006. At the same time, the number of
children in households headed by a single mom increased 23.9 percent,
and in married couple households by just 6.8 percent.
Green tea cuts bad breath.
Out on a lunch date and suddenly concerned about bad breath? Order
green tea. "Maximum Fitness" magazine reports it contains chemicals
which kill bacteria in the mouth.
Journaling gets you through it.
Going through a difficult breakup or other life transition? "Men's
Health" magazine reports that a study of cancer patients found that
writing about your feelings for 30 minutes a day can boost your immune
system, reduce stress, and increase your coping skills.
Dating rules for kids say more about you.
What dating rules you set for your kids says more about your
satisfaction in life than about your kid, according to recent research
reported in the "Wall Street Journal." Psychologists found that parents
in a stable romantic relationship (married or otherwise) were most
likely to set dating rules for their teens, such as curfews, minimum
dating age, and limits on where teens can go. Parents unhappy with
their own love lives tended to give more detailed guidance, such as how
to act on a date, or cautions about the other's behavior; teens found
this more intrusive and tended to be more unhappy with their own dating
relationships. The studies suggest that parents should focus on their
supervisory role rather than meddling in relationships.
Pros spot dead-end weddings.
"USA Weekend" magazine polled wedding professionals -- wedding
planners, photographers and florists -- for signs of potential good (and
bad) relationships. They note the usual advice: Problems for couples
who can't talk about finances, or whose friends or family don't like the
spouse-to-be. Other negative signs include fighting over little things
(like chocolate or vanilla), and not being affectionate for the wedding
photos. One observer noted that the grooms involved in the wedding
plans (not just going along with what she wants) also seem to be more
involved in the relationship. But the bride has to encourage his
participation too. One caterer noted a bride who wouldn't let the groom
talk during the planning, "shutting him down and treating him like a
puppy."
Quotable.
"Cynics always say no. Saying yes leads to knowledge. So for as long
as you have the strength to, say yes." Stephen Colbert.
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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How to find new places to meet people to date
Two criteria you must consider
by Janet L. Jacobsen
Originally my plan was to make this an article about a new place to
meet men that I had recently discovered.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that just because
an event HAS lots of men doesn't mean it's the best place for any
particular single woman to MEET men.
And as I gave it still more thought, I realized that the same holds
true for single men looking to meet women.
What counts
There are two things to consider when you've decided to take a more
active approach to meeting interesting opposite sex singles.
1. Where will the people be that you find attractive? And
2. Where will the people be who find you attractive?
The right place to meet people is the spot that gives you both. Too
many singles focus on what they find attractive, without considering the
other half of the equation.
How it works
For years I wore my hair long because I had the idea that most men like
long hair on women. Then one day -- maybe I had just accumulated enough
experience on the subject -- I realized that I had never been really
crazy about any of the men who originally liked me because I had long
hair.
So I cut my hair short -- so short that lots of old friends didn't
recognize me. And not long after that, I met a really super guy who I
liked and liked me. Would he have liked me with long hair? Maybe. But
he doesn't seem to have had very many long-haired women in his past.
I've known women who took up golf because they thought it was a good
way to meet men. They didn't really like golf. I suspected that as
soon as they thought they'd connected with an "interesting" man, they'd
give up the sport.
And there's the problem. Because if the guy found her attractive in
part because he thought she liked golf, he was going to be pretty
disappointed when the truth came out. Even if he could overlook the
non-golfer part, the deception itself is often a relationship killer.
So you have to consider both aspects: If this is an environment in
which there are people you find attractive, are they also likely to be
attracted to you?
Find your passion
When you've got both, you've got a winner. That's why we so often
advise that you figure out what you really like to do, things you really
enjoy and where you like the other people who do the same thing, and
that's where you should start on meeting new people.
Maybe it's possible to like an activity and not like the other people
involved. Can you really like to play chess but not like most other
people who play chess?
I'm not sure. Let's say it's possible. Then that means
you'll have to move to the various edges of your interest and see how
that affects who you meet.
For instance, you love to read and you join a library book discussion
group. But it's not really your crowd.
You've still got lots of options.
Switch book groups. Switch libraries. Attend author lectures at book
stores. Attend literary discussion programs at museums or universities.
Take a writing class.
By thinking of where other people who like what you like are likely to
be, you expand your options for meeting people who will interest you,
and who may find you equally interesting.
Try something new!
What got me started on all this originally was going along with a
friend who had entered a table tennis (a.k.a. ping pong) tournament. As
I recall there were twelve tables with pretty much non-stop pinging and
ponging at each one and I was practically the only woman in sight! Only
one woman was competing, and there were only a few in the audience.
I went up to one of the players between his sets and asked him about
the table tennis club that was hosting the event. There were more women
in the club, he said, but he acknowledged that for some reason it really
mostly attracted men.
The great thing about this group was that they formed leagues where
every team had an A, B, C, and D level player. So you could get started
meeting people of all levels of ability just by joining the league.
Cool.
But then I realized that even though table tennis is fairly easy to
learn and doesn't require you to be a super-fit athlete, it wasn't
necessarily going to be every woman's idea of a good time.
I guess the same thing applies to dancing. Lots of women love to
dance; dances, dance classes, anything to do with dancing generally
attracts a lot of women, and it baffles me why men -- who are always
asking me how they can meet women -- don't get into dancing.
But hey, if they really don't like dancing, don't want to learn
dancing, don't even want to be seen dancing -- they shouldn't go just to
meet women.
But folks, if you think you MIGHT like it (dancing, ping pong,
whatever), if you think it could maybe be fun, if you think you could
learn to enjoy it, give it a try!
Sorting out the singles
Of course, when it's not specifically a singles event, some of the
people you meet may not be single. You can figure these things out by
being observant. You can work it into the conversation about what
you've been doing -- singles groups and events you've attended. That
way they know you're single, at least. Or, as you get to know people in
the group, you can ask, "Do you know if Pat is single?"
Even better, you can do things to create a singles group within the
group. Host a potluck for all the single members. Make an announcement
to invite people to a singles event that's coming up in some other
organization.
Create activities especially for the single members. I know of a
Sierra Club chapter that had singles hikes which were so successful that
eventually some of the married members started complaining that the
"best" hikes were limited to just the singles!
Give it some thought
It's fairly typical that when a single person decides it's time to rev
up their social life, the first thing they think of is hanging out in
bars. If that's what you do anyway for fun, then might work.
But if you're only there to meet someone so that you never have to go
there again, you can improve your odds -- and your fun -- by giving some
thought to where the kinds of people who interest you are likely to be.
And, in your experience, what are the sorts of places that people who
have found you attractive are likely to be?
The intersection of those two lists is a good place to devote your
meeting-people time.
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WHY MAKE THE TYPICAL DATING MISTAKES?
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
How to connect with interesting people
How to end a relationship
Tips on using the personals
Important pointers for planning dates
How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, Box 9666 Dept. E, Scottsdale AZ
85252-9666. Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
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FUN THINGS to DO in AUGUST
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Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Saturdays thru August there's free live entertainment 7 pm on the Center
Plaza at Kierland Commons, 15205 N. Kierland Blvd., Phoenix.
480-348-1577.
Fri., Aug. 1: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10
pm. Free. Very popular event for singles, where about 10,000 people
stroll, look at art, see entertainment -- and each other. DASH bus
starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx.
602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539.
First Friday Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. &
Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Live music, guest scientist, hors
d'oeuvres, cash bar. 7 p.m., special lecture. Free adm., plus $8 for
IMAX film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. azscience.org
Sat., Aug. 2: Eldorado Pool Luau: Luau themed activities, games,
dancing, music. 5-8 pm, Eldorado Pool, 2301 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale.
Free. 480-312-2484.
Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe,
Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794.
Mon., Aug. 4: 7 pm, chess night at Borders Books & Music, Biltmore
Fashion Park, 24th St. & Camelback, Phx. Watch; play! 602-957-6660.
Tues., Aug. 5: Movie Tuesday movie discussion series, 5:30-7 p.m.
Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central,
Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636.
Wed., Aug. 6: Chandler Art Walk, 5 to 9 p.m., downtown Chandler, San
Marcos Place and Boston Street, between Arizona Avenue and Chandler
Blvd. 5-9 pm. 480-206-5895.
Thurs., Aug. 7: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave.
area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Every Thurs., Sc. Center for the Arts,
Civic Center Mall, is open til 8 p.m. 480-994-ARTS.
Sat., Aug. 9: Classic cars & motorcycles exhibited approx. 5 to 8:30
p.m. (or later) around McDonald's at the Scottsdale Pavilions, 9140 E.
Indian Bend Road, Scottsdale. Free. Every Saturday. 480-991-6007 or
480=443-0080. For other cruise-ins, see www.cruisinarizona.com.
Sat./Sun., Aug. 9-10: 58th annual Mountain Artists Summer Festival,
Courthouse Plaza, Prescott. Free. Arts & crafts.
Sun., Aug. 10: Heard Museum Community Sunday, free admission at the
three Heard locations--2301 N. Central, Phx. (602-252-8840); 32633 N.
Scottsdale Rd., Sc. (480-488-9817); 16126 N. Civic Center Plaza,
Surprise (623-344-2200). Every second Sunday.
Tues., Aug. 12: Perseids meteor shower lights up the night and
especially the early morning sky. Best viewing is away from city lights
and after moonset about 1:30 a.m.
Every Tues., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated),
from 3 to 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880.
Thurs., Aug. 14: Full Moon Bat Program, 6:30 to 8:30 pm, Arboretum at
Flagstaff, 4001 S. Woody Mt. Rd. Educational program and guided
viewing. $7 nonmembers.
Fri./Sat., Aug. 15-16: 21st annual Cowboy Poets Gathering, Yavapai
College campus, Prescott. Poets and singers on the life of the working
cowboy. One of the 928-776-2000.
Sun. Aug. 17: Every Sunday, Movies at the Museum: foreign,
independent, and classic films, some for mature audiences. Phoenix Art
Museum, 1625 N. Central Avenue, Phoenix. 2 pm. Museum adm. $9.
602-257-1222.
Thurs., Aug. 21: That Thursday Thing, 6-9 pm, downtown and Murphy Park
in Glendale. Street performers, extended shopping hours. Free adm.
623-930-2299. Every third Thursday.
Fri., Aug. 22: Art Walk, downtown Prescott, 5 pm. Free.
4a-@artthe4th.com. Every fourth Friday.
Sat., Aug. 23: Thunder Over Coconino Fly-In, Williams, Az. Vintage and
modern aircraft, car show, antique tractors, chili cook-off, rides.
928-635-5280.
Sun., Aug. 25: Flagstaff Xeriscape and Native Landscape Walking Tour.
Free. Get maps at Visitors Center, 211 W. Aspen Ave., Flagstaff.
928-213-4827.
Thurs., Aug. 28: Every Thurs., swing lessons and dance, Wrigley Mansion
Resort, 2501 E Telewa Trail, Phoenix. Lessons at 7:15 pm, 8 to
midnight, deejayed music. Dress: Resort casual. $10 adm. ($15 when
live music). 602-955-4079, 602-717-2787.
Sat., Aug. 30: Phoenix Cooks! Day-long event features demonstrations,
classes and culinary products with Arizona's best chefs. Various venues
at the Arizona Biltmore, 2400 E Missouri Ave., Phoenix. 602-955-6600.
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Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
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