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Single Scene October newsletter
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Janet Jacobsen
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Sep 29, 2008 12:59 PDT
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SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 9-29-08 Issue 144
Copyright Single Scene 2008
http://www.azsinglescene.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** "So, are you dating?" How to Handle the Nosy
** Throw a Party
--The holidays are coming. Time for party practice!
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Campaign and meet people
-- How to rebound from rejection
-- Women in abundance!
-- When she's suddenly critical
-- The art of listening
** Fun Things to Do in October, including
--Dining out(side)
--Autumn leaves
--State Fair is a great date!
--Fall League baseball
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Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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"So, are you dating?"
How to handle the nosy
Are people as snoopy with marrieds as they are with singles? Seems like
everyone wants to know whether you're dating and who you're seeing.
"USA Weekend" magazine offers some pointers for handling inappropriate
questions.
1. Use humor. For the question, "Why aren't you married?" you can
reply, "I was born single."
2. Be honest. It's just fine to say "I'm not comfortable discussing
that." If the person presses the point, repeat.
3. Give it right back. The best all-purpose response to impertinent
questions is "Why do you ask?"
4. Establish conversational boundaries. Apply some negative body
language, like crossing your arms and looking them directly in the eye.
Reply "I don't think that's something I'm going to discuss."
5. Change the subject. Respond with a vague generality and move on to
a new topic.
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Campaign and meet people.
Find it hard to meet like-minded people? There's nothing like campaign
season to bring everyone's views front and center. Volunteer with
whatever candidate or referendum -- local, state or national -- that
best reflects your views and you'll meet lots of others who share your
enthusiasms. Even if they aren't single, they'll know people who are.
Go direct to voice mail.
Some times you just want to leave a message, not talk to the person
directly. (Good for a reminder about dinner plans; cowardly for
breaking up.) A new service called Slydial bypasses the cellphone ring
and takes you right to the person's voice mail. (You can be calling
from any type of phone and it works with all carriers.) The service is
free if you're willing to listen to a voice ad, or 15 cents per call.
Reportedly most major cellphone carriers offer a similar service, but
only to customers with the same carrier.
How to rebound from rejection.
"Self" magazine offers the following tactics for getting over a
break-up. 1. Let your friends know. It forces you to face your
feelings, and rallies emotional support. 2. Visualize success.
Fantasize a happy new relationship. [No fantasies about the ex,
please!] 3. Keep it impersonal. If the relationship wasn't going to
work, it's good to know that now and not waste time. The break-up is an
opportunity for a happier future. 4. Give thanks. Yes, rejection
hurts, but you've got lots of good things going on in your life too.
Keep up your telephone manners.
Just because it's the Internet age is no reason to let your telephone
skills slip. An article in the Greenville (S.C.) "News" says that
manners apply to telephone talk too. Answer politely. Give the caller
your full attention (shut off the music/tv in the background). When
taking a message, read back the number to the caller.
Less time at the office can be more productive.
Singles can be tempted to fill their time with long hours at work, but
don't fool yourself into thinking you're getting more done. A Harvard
study found that "insufficient downtime" actually hurts your
productivity. Turns out the really productive people are the ones
working shorter days. Looks like you'll just have to improve that
social life!
Women in abundance!
BBC News reports that Australia now has 100,000 more women than men.
The imbalance is most acute in the coastal cities, while many rural
areas have more men than women. The once-male-abundant population has
shifted in part because so many men in their 20s and 30s have gone
overseas to travel and work in places such as the United Arab Emerites,
which now has 12,000 Australians in residence.
When she's suddenly critical
A recent Q&A column in "Men's Health" magazine answered a letter from a
guy concerned that his girlfriend was suddenly finding fault all over --
his hair, clothes, apartment. The response was reassuring -- somewhat,
at least -- that she may have just discovered after the first rush of
romance that you're not perfect after all. Take it in stride, was the
advice. "Confidence and humor are such attractive traits, they'll make
up for your flawed humanity."
How basketball is like life.
"I've missed more than 9,000 shots. I've lost more than 300 games.
I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Michael Jordan.
The Art of Listening.
"You never really learn much from hearing yourself talk." Actor George
Clooney.
"Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you."
Actor and author Alan Alda.
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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THROW A PARTY!
When you give the party - you have the social advantage
by Harlan L. Jacobsen
Singles are always looking for ways to meet and mix with other singles.
Personally, I think parties are a good way to get acquainted and when
the invitations to parties have been rather scarce, well, you just throw
a party yourself.
You have an advantage. You are more relaxed and competent at your place
than at someone else's. Most of all, you know it is going to be a group
of people you like because you personally chose who would attend, since
we assume you did the inviting.
People are the Main Attraction
You can have a co-host or co-hostess who also invites friends, and you
get to meet new people that way. We tried a reject party once and it
was a great success. Ask every person you invite to invite someone they
still know but had stopped dating, or, to put it simply, one of their
rejects. Well, some of those rejects turned out to be pretty super for
someone else.
Another way to do it is to just tell each person you invite to bring a
friend that you don't already know. And since you are the hostess or
host, you have a good excuse to talk to anyone at your party you wish.
Best of all is that you will be invited to other people's parties, and
you are discharging many of your social obligations along with all of
the other benefits. The super part is, if you run your singles party
right, you will have lots of fun.
For an "instant" party, you can hand pick singles at a singles activity
to come over to your place for a little get-together afterward. For
example, host a casual backyard picnic after an afternoon singles hike.
Or set your party date well ahead and use the time between now and then
to meet new and interesting people. The ones you would like to get to
know better, invite to your upcoming party. In fact, if you meet
someone interesting that you want to know better, this alone can be a
good reason for throwing a party.
You only need a few other people and it need not be a large party for
this type of situation. Even if you just know of someone you would like
to meet and you have a friend who knows them, invite your friend and
specifically ask them to invite or bring the person you want to meet to
your party.
If you know only three people here and wanted to get acquainted with
more, invite the three and ask them to invite 2 or 3.
Low Cost
It is not expensive to give a party. The main attraction of any party
is the people. Forget all that cooking and meal preparation. A few
dips and snacks are all you need; you can serve soft drinks and tell
your guests it is a bring your own bottle party if drinks are important
and your budget is small.
You can even have your guests bring something as sort of a price of
attendance whether it be a bottle or snacks or whatever. Most are
excited about being invited to a good party and don't mind at all.
Yes, parties are fun and when you have not been invited to any for a
while, well, it's time to throw one yourself.
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YOU CAN AVOID THE TYPICAL DATING MISTAKES!
“Dating Success - 45 Proven Pointers” shows you
*How to connect with interesting people
*How to end a relationship
*Tips on using the personals
*Important pointers for planning dates
*How to communicate with the other sex
And more.
Order “Dating Success -- 45 Proven Pointers,” the positive, practical,
up-beat book by Dr. Janet Jacobsen, for just $10 (includes shipping and
handling) from IE Publishing, 6802 E Loma Land Dr., Scottsdale AZ 85257.
Or order at www.communicationist.com/book.htm. Satisfaction
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FUN THINGS to DO in OCTOBER
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Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Great weather is here again, so plan your dinner dates for places with
outdoor seating (and after about mid-month, your lunch and breakfast
dates too).
Autumn is a long season in Arizona, and going for a drive to look for
fall color can be a great date. Leaves have already turned in the White
Mountains, and the change of color creeps gradually down the elevation
until it reaches Phoenix in December. One source for fall color info is
the National Forest Service: www.fs.fed.us/news/fallcolors.
October means Oktoberfest, embraced by many communities and parks
departments. Tempe's is at Town Lake Oct. 3-5 (wowoktoberfest.com).
Phoenix celebrates Sat., Oct. 11, at Margaret T. Hance Park, 1134 N
Central Ave., 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. (phoenixoktoberfest.com).
One of the great entertainment bargains of the year is the Arizona State
Fair, Oct. 10 to Nov. 12, State Fair Park, 19th Ave. & McDowell,
Phoenix. Carnival, arts & crafts, livestock shows, multiple stages of
live entertainment, including the headline shows in the Coliseum, all
for the basic admission of $12. You can get a $2 discount by buying
tickets online, plus there are special discount days and programs (see
online). Be aware: Parking at the Fairgrounds is extra!
azstatefair.com
Baseball fans, you can recapture the days when Spring Training was an
inexpensive local event by attending the Arizona Fall League baseball
games, where top minor league players from both leagues contend for the
big time. Tickets are $6 at the Scottsdale Stadium; check with your
local Spring Training stadium for their fall schedule.
The new Sheraton Hotel opens Oct. 1 in downtown Phoenix, the largest
hotel in the state (1,000 rooms). The lobby features an internet cafe,
and there's also a restaurant and wine bar for new downtown dating
opportunities.
Sat., Oct. 4: Arizona Irish Festival, Margaret T. Hance Park, 1134 N.
Central, Phoenix. 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Admission charge.
azirishfestival.org.
Fri.-Sun., Oct. 10-12: 48th annual Greater Phoenix Greek Festival, Holy
Trinity Greek Orthodox Community Center, 1973 E. Maryland Ave.,
Phoenix. Food, entertainment, arts and crafts. 602-264-7863.
Sat., Oct. 11: 14th annual Wickenburg Fly-In & Classic Car show,
Wickenburg Airport, 7:30 am to 1 pm. wickenburgchamber.com.
Sat., Oct. 18: 5th annual Native American Farmers Market, Pueblo Grande
Museum, 4619 E. Washington St., Phoenix. Activities. Free.
602-495-0901.
Sat.-Sun., Oct. 18-19: Sidewalk Art! The downtown Scottsdale arts
district features 150 sidewalk chalk art drawings. Entertainment. 10
a.m. to 5 p.m. Free.
Th.-Sat., Oct. 23-25: Mesa Storytelling Festival, Mesa Arts Center.
Live music and stories, arts & crafts. mesaartscenter.com.
Th.-Sun., Oct. 23-26: International Horror & Sci-Fi Film Festival,
Harkins Valley Art Theater, 505 S. Mill, Tempe. Admission.
horrorscifi.com.
Sat., Oct 25: Some cities and parks celebrate Halloween today. For
example, Goodyear Community Park, 5-8:30 pm, Peoria Sports Complex, 5-9
pm.
Sat.-Sun., Oct. 25-26: Boo at the Zoo, Phoenix Zoo, Galvin Parkway.
"Family events" and LOTS of little kids in costume. www.phoenixzoo.org
Fri., Oct. 31: Halloween! (If you're out to meet people, and you want
them to approach you, avoid any costume that hides what sex you are.)
Pretty much every bar and night spot will be hosting an event, plus some
more family friendly spots like city parks. For example, the Eldorado
Park ballfields, 1909 N. Miller in Scottsdale, 6 to 9 p.m. Free.
Fri.-Sun., Oct. 31-Nov. 2: Art & Wine Festival, Easy and Ho Hum
streets, Carefree. Billed as Arizona's largest wine-tasting event.
480-837-5637.
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Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
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