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Single Scene February newsletter
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Janet Jacobsen
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Jan 30, 2009 22:03 PST
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SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 1-29-09 Issue 148
Copyright Single Scene 2009
http://www.azsinglescene.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Local news for singles!
** Valentines Day spells inequality between the sexes
** Guys! How to be a perfect first date.
** Should companies ask dating co-workers to sign a "love contract"?
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- How to stay friends with the ex.
-- Five checkpoints for a new love.
-- 40% of men genetically unsuited for monogamy?
** Fun Things to Do in February
~~~Happy Valentines Day!~~~
LOCAL NEWS
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"Spiked!" brings mingling to the Desert Botanical Garden
They're not calling it a singles night, but it's pretty clear they're
looking to attract the sort of crowd that attends SMoCA Nights in
Scottsdale, or First Friday in Phoenix.
The Desert Botanical Gardens in Phoenix will host "Spiked!" Thursdays
5:30 to 8 pm Feb. 26 to May 14, and they're billing it as a night to
"mix, mingle and marvel." Each evening will showcase a different
sculpture in the current Chihuly glass exhibit. The $25 fee includes
Garden admission and hors d'oeuvres, with deejayed or live
entertainment, and a cash bar available.
Sure sounds like a singles event, doesn't it? Tickets are limited; you
must be 21 or older. 480-481-8188 or www.dbg.org.
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Annual Singles Fair and Dance Feb. 7 in Scottsdale
Saturday, February 7, Calculated Couples will host their annual Singles
Fair and Ball at the Doubletree Paradise Valley Resort, 5401 N.
Scottsdale Rd. The Fair begins at 6 pm, featuring booths by area
singles organizations and businesses, with special guest speakers. At 8
pm the Ball begins, with deejayed dance music. Admission is $15 for
each event, or $20 for both. No jeans or sneakers. Info,
www.cupidhelp.com.
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Dining out alone? Ask for the community table.
Gradually businesses are recognizing the importance of the singles
market. Recently the Arizona Republic reported that Liberty Market, a
new restaurant in Gilbert, includes a community table.
While dining establishments don't require customers to be unmarried to
sit at community tables (and you may find sociable couples there as
well), you're likely to meet other singles. And you're sure to meet
more people than dining alone.
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Sunny spring days call for picnic dates
Sure the weather outside is frightful in most of the country, but it's
Springtime in the Valley of the Sun. That means we're coming into
picnic weather once again. Here are a half dozen spots recently
high-lighted for their quality picnic locales by the Arizona Republic.
Picnic tables are generally first come, first serve, but ramadas can be
reserved in advance for a fee.
Whether your basket features a home-made spread, goodies from a gourmet
deli, or chicken take-out, you'll find a suitable setting at these area
parks.
Estrella Mountain Regional Park, 14805 W. Vineyard Ave., Goodyear. The
only county park with a grassy picnic area. Vehicle entry free.
623-932-3811.
Kiwanis Park, 5500 S. Mill Ave., Tempe, includes a 12 acre lake.
480-350-5200.
Lost Dutchman State Park, 6109 N. Apache Trail, Apache Junction. In
the foothills of the Superstition Mountains, the scenic trails here can
feature abundant wildflowers in Spring. Vehicle entry fee.
480-982-4485.
Sahuaro Ranch Park and Historic Area, 9802 N. 59th Ave., Glendale. All
the usual park amenities, plus buildings and features from the historic
ranch, including wandering peacocks. 623-930-4200.
Steele Indian School Park, 300 E. Indian School Rd.,
Phoenix. Includes a lake and native plants garden. 602-495-0739.
South Mountain Park Preserve, 10919 S. Central, Phoenix. The largest
municipal park in the country has 51 miles of trails where you can
nibble on the lunch you've packed in. For the less adventurous, there
are first come, first serve picnic areas. 602-495-0222.
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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Valentines Day spells inequality between the sexes
Women spend about 58% as much as men spend on their sweeties for
Valentines Day, according to a survey by Discover Card, and reported by
Knight Ridder Newspapers.
Men were most likely to be giving their sweetheart a night out (71%),
followed by flowers (66%) and jewelry (52%). What women most wanted to
receive was a night out (62%), flowers (55%) and candy (44%).
Women reported plans to give their significant other a night out (61%);
books, music or games (53%) and candy (42%). Men said they were hoping
to receive a night out (62%); books music or games (45%); or jewelry
(26%).
While this appears to be a fairly good balance of plans and wishes, the
survey found that a third of women who had "significant others" did not
plan to do anything special for their sweethearts for Valentines. In
addition 40% of the women planning a "night out" for their loved one
were planning on him paying for it.
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Guys! How to be a perfect first date.
In a survey conducted by "Men's Health" magazine, 1000 women reported
on qualities that made a man a "perfect date."
Biggest goof: 97% of women said that just "winging" the date isn't
romantic. If you've only planned for dinner and left the next step
"open," she's likely to question your motives. Have a couple of
possibilities in mind -- a fun dessert spot, a hole-in-the-wall bar with
dancing -- and let her choose.
Tarnished teeth are a turn-off for 90%. That doesn't mean your pearly
whites need to be ultra-bright, but yellow is out. Smokers, beware.
A single angry outburst is enough to scare off 90% of women. Stow the
road rage; stay polite in crowds. She'll interpret your inability to
keep your cool as an indication of how you'll treat her in a difficult
situation.
Unkempt fingernails are unattractive to 73% of women. You don't need a
fancy manicure, but your nails and cuticles shouldn't be "gnarly."
Wear shoes appropriate to the pants you're wearing, and be sure those
shoes are polished. "Dowdiness" in footwear suggests to her a lack of
care in other areas of your life.
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Should companies ask dating co-workers to sign a "love contract"?
Recently the company magazine for Costco warehouse stores took on the
pluses and minuses from a business point of view of co-workers dating.
An attorney specializing in employment law, David Ritter, notes that
nearly 40% of employees have dated a co-worker, so a no-dating policy
may be difficult to enforce. Yet companies are right to be concerned
about potential sexual harassment suits or that other employees will
fear favoritism.
Love contracts aren't legally binding, says Ritter, but provide
acknowledgement that the relationship is consensual, and that the
parties understand the company's sexual harassment policy and workplace
guidelines.
Francie Dalton, head of a management consulting firm, disagrees,
however. Parties in an office romance are naive to think they can avoid
perceptions of favoritism. While "love contracts" may give the company
some protection in a legal situation, they do nothing about non-legal
risks, such as productivity losses, increased scrutiny (such as expense
reports) and suboptimal decision making.
Dalton says that management staff in an office romance should be
required to disclose the relationship, to not discuss confidential
business matters, and agree that the higher ranking party will accept a
transfer to a different location, or a position without management
responsibility, or will find other employment in a designated period of
time.
The company's first responsibility, says Dalton, is to the good of the
organization, not to the budding romance.
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Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Let your brains -- and your sense of humor -- shine through.
"Men's Health" magazine reports on a BBC survey of 200,000 people in
which men and women ranked the qualities they consider "most desirable"
in the opposite sex. Men's top three desires in a partner were
intelligence (49%), good looks (43%) and humor (42%), while women want
men with humor (53%), intelligence (44%) and honesty (39%).
How to stay friends with the ex.
"I think the key with any past is that you recognize and hold onto what
you loved and what you gained and you don't attach yourself to what
you've lost." Actress Demi Moore on remaining friends with ex Bruce
Willis.
Five checkpoints for a new love.
Mary Ulick heads a church-based divorce recovery program in Paradise
Valley, Arizona. Her advice for singles looking for a new relationship:
1. Avoid anyone on the rebound. Let time heal wounds.
2. Notice how the person treats others.
3. Do they acknowledge some responsibility for past break-ups?
4. Recognize controlling behavior such as ultimatums or pressure for
sex.
5. Do your friends like them? Do you like their friends?
Heading for divorce?
"Reader's Digest" polled folks in ten countries on how often they told
a spouse "I love you." In most countries 20 to 30% couldn't recall the
last time: U.S. 21%; Germany, 16%; Australia and South Africa, 17%;
Brazil, 22%; United Kingdom and France, 23%; Turkey, 24%; India, 31%;
and Italy, 32%.
Forty percent of men may be genetically unsuited for monogamy.
Recently the "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences"
published a study on the link between the presence of a variant in men's
genes, and the male's likelihood for being monogamous. Two in five men
have the gene variant, which appears to predict less willingness to
marry, an increased risk for divorce, and emotional distance in existing
romantic relationships. While scientists aren't agreed on whether the
findings should be used by couples to predict relationship success, many
concur that the evidence is mounting that individual genetics may play a
significant role in fidelity and monogamy.
Valentine Quotables.
"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." Poet
Robert Frost.
"The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate.
It is focused attention." Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church and
author of "The Purpose Driven Life."
"It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is
loving them at their worst." Playwright Tom Stoppard.
"Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as
a feeling." Author Stephen R. Covey.
"It is the difference between men and women, not the sameness, that
creates the tension and the delight." Writer and ecologist Edward
Abbey.
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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FUN THINGS to DO in FEBRUARY
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Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Play ball! Spring Training comes to the Valley once again, Feb. 25 to
April 2, and the Cactus League has two new teams in the mix. The cheap
seats are still relatively cheap, such as $7 for lawn seating at Hohokam
Stadium in Mesa.
Canal Concert Series, weekends, noon, Marshall Way Bridge area, down
Scottsdale. Live entertainment; bring a picnic or buy takeout at local
restaurants. Info 480-312-7750. Through March.
Fri., Feb. 6: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10
pm. Free. Very popular event for singles, where about 10,000 people
stroll, look at art, see entertainment -- and each other. DASH bus
starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx.
602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539.
Sat.-Sun, Feb. 14-15: Book lovers rejoice over the annual VNSA Used
Book Sale at the Arizona State Fairgrounds Exhibit Building, 1826 W.
McDowell in Phoenix. The more than 600,000 items cover 27 categories.
They're inexpensive on Saturday, and half price on Sunday. Admission is
free, but parking costs. 602-265-6805.
Fri.-Sun., Feb. 20-22: Out West Art Fest, Stagecoach Village, 7100 E
Cave Creek Rd., Cave Creek, including live music, food and
demonstrations. 480-575-6624.
Sun., Feb. 22: Silent Sundays features classic silent films with live
theater organ music, beginning with an organ concert. 2:30 pm. Buster
Keaton in "The Navigator." Orpheum Theater, 203 W. Adams St., Phoenix.
Adm. $15. www.silentsundays.info.
Sat., Feb. 21: 56th annual Parada del Sol Parade, Scottsdale Rd.
between Oak and Indian School, 10 a.m. Billed as the world's largest
horse drawn parade. 480-990-3179.
Fri., Feb. 27: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg.,
H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views.
480-965-7652.
Fri.-Sun., Feb. 27-March 1: Hang out with rugged outdoor types (or
wannabees) at the International Sportsmen's Expo, UOP Stadium, 1
Cardinals Way, Glendale, where 400 exhibitors extol the outdoor sports
experience, including travel, fishing and hunting. 800-545-6100.
~~~~~Happy Valentines Day!~~~~~~
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Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
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