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Single Scene March newsletter
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Janet Jacobsen
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Feb 28, 2009 11:37 PST
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SINGLE SCENE NEWSLETTER 2-28-09 Issue 149
Copyright Single Scene 2009
http://www.azsinglescene.com
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I N T H I S I S S U E:
** Money-saving Tips for Singles.
** Government Campaign Pushes 18- to 30–year-olds to Marry
** Five Steps to Safer Sex
** How to Cope with Difficult People.
** National Singles News Briefs, including
-- Are your palates incompatible?
-- How our priorities differ!
-- Why the girls hang out together, really.
** Fun Things to Do in March
~~Happy St. Patrick’s Day!~~~
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For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our
website at http://divorcerecovery101.com.
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Money-saving Tips for Singles.
~ Partner with single friends to buy in quantity at warehouse stores.
~ Trade baby-sitting duties with another single parent.
~ Clip and USE two-for-one restaurant coupons. (Good with friends,
family and on-going relationships. Not good for first dates.)
~ Go to movies at the bargain "early bird" time and dine out after,
instead of dinner first and then a movie. (But keep the popcorn
consumption low.)
~ Examine your lifestyle. What are you doing that's a "leftover" from
your marriage or a past relationship? For instance, still buying
premium brands instead of house brands? Keeping the thermostat at the
temperature your ex liked? Buying designer duds, going to "ritzy"
events, buying a new car every few years? If it's not "you," let it go!
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HELP FOR THE NEWLY SINGLE! Our singles' Internet information is
maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly
singled people find out about it and get help only if readers like YOU
tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a
support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and
them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites,
newsletters, and courses. Remember, these services are all totally FREE.
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New Government Campaign Pushes 18- to 30–year-olds to Marry
Apparently the federal government (prior to the current administration)
determined that young people didn't have enough sense to get married.
Hence the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center has a $5 million
budget to fund a national media campaign telling 18 to 30 year olds
about the virtues of marriage.
To plan the campaign, the agency conducted online surveys of 3672 men
and women 18-30. While 29% of those surveyed were married, 69% were
single and 2% were previously married. Among the singles, 35% were not
dating, 18% were dating but not in a relationship, and 47% were in a
relationship.
Based on the survey, the study found
--14% were strongly against marriage.
--22% plan to marry but aren't ready now.
--23% take a "practical" view of marriage and may live together first.
--19% "are enmeshed in the magic of love." [What exactly does that
mean?]
--22% believe strongly in marriage.
Meanwhile organizations such as the Alternatives to Marriage Project,
object to the program. Government shouldn't be telling people when to
get married, and "they shouldn't privilege marriage over all other
relationships."
"USA Today" reports that federal statistics for 2008 show a marriage
rate of 7.1 per 1000 population, compared to 10 in 1986.
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Five Steps to Safer Sex
"Safe sex requires prior planning and communication between partners,"
says a recent article in "Vitality" magazine. There are more than 25
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Abstinence is the only sure
prevention. If you're sexually active, however, it's essential to
practice safe sex, no matter what your age.
1. Talk with your partner. Before having sex, discuss each other's
STD status and willingness to use a condom. (If you don't know them
well enough to discuss such things, it's likely a sign that it's too
early to be adding sex to the relationship.)
2. "Use protection every time you have sex, including oral sex, until
you're sure your partner isn't infected with an STD.
3. Use a water-based lubricant (such as K-Y jelly) during intercourse
to prevent tearing of the skin or the condom.
4. Be responsible. If you had unprotected sex, see your doctor for a
complete STD screening. (Keep in mind that some STDs have a latency
period and aren't immediately detectable.) "Avoid sexual contact if you
have or are being treated for an STD."
5. Stay alert and aware. Alcohol and drugs impair not only your
judgment, but also your ability to use condoms properly.
For additional information, "Vitality" recommends searching the term
"safe sex" on the website www.medlineplus.gov.
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How to Cope with Difficult People--
Even when they're in your family!
Somebody really getting under your skin -- a neighbor, at work, or
perhaps in a singles group you belong to? Or maybe a family member or
the ex?
Typical irritants are the know-it-all, the criticizer, the snail (never
shares information), constant talking, never listening, or can't keep
commitments. Sometimes there are power struggles involved or the person
may simply remind you too much of past experiences with someone similar.
Sandra Crowe (author of "Since Strangling Isn't an Option: Dealing
with Difficult People") says you have two options, go through the
person, or go around. "If you don't have to go directly through the
person to get something done, don't." If you must deal with them, brush
up your assertiveness and negotiation skills; direct conflict is rarely
helpful.
If even the caring approach doesn't get results, remember that you have
control over your reactions. Reframe the situation in your own mind to
make the irritation less important, e.g., "She clearly has social skill
problems," rather than "She's doing that to make me mad!"
In the meantime, applying stress management techniques can help.
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Yes, this is a FREE newsletter, but remember the “dues”: helping us
spread the word. Please forward this free online publication to singles
you know! Invite them to sign up. Sharing is good.
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SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS
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Are your palates incompatible?
As if couples didn't have enough things to quarrel over, apparently
picky eaters are creating romantic difficulties, according to a story in
the "Washington Post." Turns out having radically different taste in
food can be a real drag on a relationship. "Unlike fly-fishing or
knitting, what to eat is a question that comes up three times a day."
How to cope when you go for gourmet and your sweetie is strictly burgers
and fries? Suggests one couples therapist, "There has to be a natural
compatibility or a good sense of how to negotiate and compromise."
How our priorities differ!
According to US Bureau of Labor Statistics, the spending habits of
single men and women differ significantly. Single men spend $846 more
on cars, $752 more on restaurants, $280 more on alcohol, and $143 more
on audiovisual gear. Single women outspend single men on clothing --
$246 more.
The definitive source on singles information!
Social psychologist Bella DePaulo has compiled an extraordinarily
complete website of information on single life, with a heavy emphasis on
scholarly sources. You can access it at the U. of California at Berkeley
site: http://issc.berkeley.edu/singlesstudies/.
Be good to you.
A Duke University study has found that your ability to be kind to
yourself is a strong indicator of mental health. This means not being
overly hard on yourself when things go wrong. Recognize that everyday
setbacks are a normal part of life.
Why the girls hang out together, really.
Spending time with girlfriends does more for women than just give them
an opportunity to gab. It actually reduces stress, according to "First
for Women" magazine. Hanging out with female friends increases levels
of the hormone oxycontin, which helps women manage their emotions and
deal with tense situations.
Quotable.
"I would never be unfaithful to my wife for the simple reason that I
love my house too much." Comic Bob Monkhouse, quoted in Reader's
Digest.
FUN THINGS to DO in MARCH
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Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to
confirm.
Take me out to the ball game...... Spring Training continues until
April 2, and the Cactus League has two new teams in the mix. And with
the drop in tourism, it may be easier to get a ticket! The cheap seats
are still relatively cheap, such as $7 for lawn seating at Hohokam
Stadium in Mesa.
Canal Concert Series, weekends, noon, Marshall Way Bridge area, down
Scottsdale. Live entertainment; bring a picnic or buy takeout at local
restaurants. Info 480-312-7750. Through March.
It's spring! If things stay hot, the wildflowers won't last long, so
get out for a drive to see the desert in bloom.
Sun., March 1: Hang out with rugged outdoor types (or wannabees) at the
International Sportsmen's Expo, UOP Stadium, 1 Cardinals Way, Glendale,
where 400 exhibitors extol the outdoor sports experience, including
travel, fishing and hunting. 800-545-6100.
Thurs., Mar. 5: Spiked! "Mix, mingle and marvel” garden party at the
Desert Botanical Gardens in Phoenix, 5:30 to 8 pm. Showcasing a
sculpture in the Chihuly glass exhibit; includes deejayed or live
entertainment and a cash bar. $25, includes Garden admission. Tickets
are limited; you must be 21 or older. Also 12 & 19, and select Thurs.
in April & May. 480-481-8188 or www.dbg.org.
Fri., March 6: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10
pm. Free. Very popular event for singles, where about 10,000 people
stroll, look at art, see entertainment -- and each other. DASH bus
starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx.
602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539.
First Friday Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. &
Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Live music, guest scientist, hors
d'oeuvres, cash bar. 7 p.m., special lecture. Free adm., plus $8 for
IMAX film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. azscience.org
Sat., March 7: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock
Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-?
623-374-5794.
Thurs., March 12: SMoCA Nights: Valley Fever. Scottsdale Museum of
Contemporary Art, 9 pm to midnight, 7374 E Second St., Scts. Includes
live and deejayed music, performances, a runway fashion show, free hors
d'oeuvres, cash bar. A major mingling event for young adult singles,
held three times per year. Usually sells out, reservations recommended.
$10 members, $15 nonmembers. Tickets 480-994-2787.
Fri., March 13: Music on Main, Mesa downtown district, West Main
between Robson and Center Streets. Live entertainment, art market,
classic car show. 6 to 10 p.m. Free. 480-890-2613.
Fri.-Sun., March 13-15: Annual Ostrich Festival, Tumbleweed Park,
Chandler. Includes pig races, ostrich races, continuous entertainment,
carnival. Parade Sat. 10 a.m. on Arizona Ave. 4 to midnight Fri., 10
am to midnight Sat., noon to 11 pm Sun. Adm. $9. 480-963-4571.
Sat., March 14: Every Saturday, classic cars & motorcycles exhibited
approx. 5 to 8:30 p.m. (or later) around McDonald's at the Scottsdale
Pavilions, 9140 E. Indian Bend Road, Scottsdale. Free. 480-991-6007 or
480=443-0080. For other cruise-ins, see www.cruisinarizona.com.
Thurs., March 20: That Thursday Thing, 6-9 pm, downtown and Murphy Park
in Glendale. Street performers, extended shopping hours. Free adm.
623-930-2299. Every third Thursday.
Third Thurs. Free outdoor musical entertainment, 7 p.m., District
Stage, Tempe Marketplace, 2000 E Rio Salado Parkway. Sponsored by
KEDJ-FM radio.
Fri.-Sun., Mar. 20-22: 39th Scottsdale Arts Festival, Civic Center
Mall. Nearly 200 exhibiting artists, continuous live entertainment on
multiple stages. $7 admission.
Fri., March 27: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg.,
H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views.
480-965-7652.
Sun., March 22: Silent Sundays features classic silent films with live
theater organ music. 2:30 pm organ concert, movie at 3:00 p.m., Harold
Lloyd in "Grandma's Boy." Orpheum Theater, 203 W. Adams St., Phoenix.
Adm. $15. www.silentsundays.info.
Fri.-Sun., March 27-29: Annual Tempe Spring Festival of the Arts, Mill
Ave. & surrounding area, downtown Tempe. 400 arts & crafts booths,
multiple stages of continuous entertainment. Great date, great mingling
-- quarter million people attend! Free Adm. 480-921-2300.
Sat., March 28: Join the World Wildlife Fund and 1000 cities around the
world in Earth Hour, turning off the lights for one hour, 8:30-9:30 pm.
It's third year of the program for raising awareness of climate change.
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Have connections to the Midwest? For the latest news, events, and
personal ads for Midwest singles, visit our website at
http://www.countrysingles.com.
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